karma777

yeah my man was very sweet in the beginning, now after 5 years it's like I don't exist sometimes. I am the kind of girlfriend who gives and is attentive and caring all the time. when he's sick I pamper him, when we're home I am always taking breaks to give lov and attention.... but he is so inverted that he can go 5-6 hours without even speaking to me when we are in the same room, he doesn't ask how my day went, he won't help me when I ask to move stuff or anything, and when I am sick it's not his problem. I have to remind him that he needs to tell me he loves me more because I am a verbal affectionate person, I tell him he needs to do more things to show me he loves me because that is what makes me feel loved.... it's been difficult that I actually have to ask and I question whether I should find someone who just does these things, but just cause they do it in the beginning doesn't mean he will 2 years later! As for birthdays, christmas and holidays... that's terrible! Is he lazy or just inconsiderate? I told my man that these things mean something to me. I told him that he can either work on trying to give more or I am not going to stay. If you have confidence in yourself ~ know your are beautiful, amazing, and have your head on straight, then don't settle. I straight up told my guy that I am not going to wait around for him to recognize I live here with him. I want I love you's before bed, hugs when we part, surprises when there are celebrations etc. AND he bought me a plant for my new office the other day. So he kinda has improved but he still does some of his no emotion stuff. I would have a serious talk or see a counselor. It will make or break it.

no we aren't married... that's actually the biggest part of all our problems .he propsed to me and told my parents the first year we were together ~ and for my family this is very huge~ I moved in, got on the crazy birth pill, THEN he took the proposal back! said never mind!! I was sooooooooo mad. This is was a huge part of every fight we have had. He proposed again in March this year! and then... during a fight in June he was angry and after hitting each other he said I hate you and never want to marry you. Obviously I got caught in love and believed him from the start... seems like it's all ..MESSED it's so hard to leave someone you completely fell for, especially when you have so many good things together. BUT, after he took that proposal and went back on it I was so sad and he would mad when I talked about it, and que sera sera... i have been looking at apartments.

it's 4 years... I am in a relationship where the fights escalate to a point that his verbal abuse angers me to a point that I physically hit him. I have never had this rage in any other relationship before. He was abused as a child. I grew up without even cursing in our family. The first time he told me to f* off because i was nagging about dishes I was offended so dearly (yes I know it is just swearing) but I don't do that to people I love with rudeness. I asked him "what did you just say" and he said "you heard me". I cried on the phone to my girlfriend for an hour. He began doing it so much that I was always crying, finally I started doing it back.... then it got to a point he would do it and I would hit him or break things.... I was on birthcontrol at for 3 years... we had many issues, it imbalanced me. I got off it and moved out to clear my system of the chemicals. He had me believing that all the rage was my fault, that I started it all. When I returned it happened again. It got to a point where if he swore at me when we argued I lost my grip on everything and wanted to hit him. Eventually he hit me back and I would just cry and cry. Now I am at a point where I am getting more numb... he has improved by trying to swear less when he is angry, but I do it to him now. I feel like everything is so tainted.... I feel like even though he has mellowed out I still resent him..... I am afaid I will do this to my next partner. Does he have a right to hit me? Does he have the right to say the meanest things to me when angry and say he didn't mean them the next day and I am supose to just get over it all? I feel like a basketcase for hitting him....I question if it's me? or if he punched my buttons to get there and I was just defending myself from someone doing something that I didn't want....