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Relationship Coach

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Everything posted by Relationship Coach

  1. I agree with Annie. Tell her that you really like her and respect her and that's why you declined. Chances are she wont come to you about this, call her or go see her if you still don't have her number. Someday the two of you will laugh about this. RC
  2. BTR, Congrats, I'm very happy for you! Rest up and let the authorities do what they do best. Having documentation by hospital staff members only adds to your case. Focus on you and Benjamin, you're gonna be a great mom! RC
  3. Use the email to make reference to the position in which you are seeking. Dear Sirs: Please find attached my Cover Letter and Resume for the________ position with your company. Sincerely, DJ
  4. I think you need to put your privates on a shelf until you figure out where your heart is. Sorry but if this part-time model wants to have sex with you after just meeting you without being in a relationship, consider yourself lucky for having a hydrolic malfunction. RC
  5. Maybe this will help clear things up. I would make sure she is single before sending her flowers. When giving cut roses as Valentine gifts, we adhere to a time-honored formula that takes into account rose color meanings. The formula matches a rose's color to its intended meaning as a gift. Valentine's Day is primarily a lovers' holiday, and red roses are traditionally for lovers. "Valentine roses" and "red roses" go hand in hand, even though other colors have their place on the holiday. Our close family members may also be treated to red roses for Valentine's Day, but we avoid giving roses of this color to friends on Valentine's Day -- that would simply convey the wrong meaning. The following are the meanings traditionally attached to the most popular roses, according to colors; use this list as a guide when selecting Valentine roses: Red roses mean romantic love; they're the "Valentine roses," par excellence. Purple, coral and orange challenge red as the color for Valentine roses. The rose color meanings for these 3 are as follows The specific purpose of purple roses is to signify that the giver has fallen in love with the recipient at first sight. Meanwhile, coral and orange roses signal desire. [*]The meaning of yellow roses is joy and friendship. [*]We express our gratitude and appreciation with pink roses.... [*]While feelings of admiration and sympathy find words with roses that are light pink in color. [*]Peach is more ambiguous, as it can signify either sympathy or gratitude. [*]Their purity naturally enough lends to white roses the meaning of reverence and humility. Author David Beaulie
  6. It takes two to save a marriage and I'm not seeing that here. She would have to agree to end all contact with this other guy and stop making excuses for her actions. Serious counseling would either help or help to bring this to an end. She needs to be 100% honest with you and I don't think she can. In one sense she seems to want to hurt you and push you away but I agree that she is testing your limits to see what you are willing to tolerate. She has no respect for you, your marriage or your family. Your son is young and if you are placed in a situation where you are going to have to divorce her and start over, it's easier the younger the children are. I wish you all the best but don't be a doormat for her dirt. RC
  7. HONESTY SCALE: 10 INTELLIGENCE SCALE: 0 OK, that's a little too strange for me. I'm sure your mother is a beautiful woman but.....she's your MOTHER! If he's with you, he needs to be "in to you" unless of course you are willing to have an open relationship and share him with others. RC
  8. Consider yourself lucky to still be a virgin and not a notch on this guys MySpace page. Move forward and stay away from his MySpace page. He has zero class and will someday find himself on the short end of the stick. Discussing your relationship in this manner speaks volumes for his lack of maturity. His comment about your aunt, well let's just say it was childish. Our Mods work to hard here as it is, no reason to make them work harder cleaning up my post. Hold out for a gentlemen who deserves you. RC
  9. Welcome to ENA. I guess I have to really question why she would suddenly come clean about her affair 6 years ago? I'm having a hard time believing it is due to guilt. She had to know that she would be hurting you with this information and she was expecting a reaction from you. Was she wanting you to get angry and leave her? Her actions and secrecy would make me really think hard before believing that she is only having an emotional affair with this other guy. You need to take some serious action here or just wait another 6 years for the truth to surface once again. Putting the blame on you just helps her deal with what she has really done. If your marriage has problems, get professional help from a professional who does not have bad intension's. Whoever this guy is he has to know he is not helping your marriage. You need to think about your future and your sons. Is this a marriage worth saving? Can you get beyond her lies, cheating ways and lack of responsibility for her actions? Tough spot but I would have been gone three months ago. Been there, done that. P.S. If you are willing to take the blame for her actions, then you should take blame for these as well: 1. JFK's Assination 2. Chernobal 3. My son's D in math RC
  10. This is a term used when you are making back payments on a debt. The employer may ask this in case your wages have been ordered by the courts to make payments on a debt such as child support or a civil judgement or restitution. As for asking you mother for money, be honest with her and learn to be smarter with your money. Paying her back is one thing, showing her you are responsible is another. RC
  11. SB, I cannot imagine the pain in which you are feeling. I can only tell you how my children felt when my first wife did the same as your mother. The anger, hurt and disappointment were present for many months. She even tried to justify her actions to the kids but that just made it worse. Blaming me only made it worse for her. The most important thing right now is for you to focus on your schooling as hard as that may sound. You're father has to deal with this in his own way and knowing he has your support will help him. As for your mother, I'm sure she is quite embarrassed over her actions and can't bare to imagine the pain in which she has inflicted on the entire family. When she is ready, she will come to you. We as humans and parents are not without fault but when someone's actions reflect something we could never imagine possible, we start to question everything. I have learned one thing as I have traveled down life's bumpy road, one person does not make the family. You, your father and your sister will grow even closer because of this. RC
  12. HDD, I'm sorry for what has happened and how you are feeling right now but you need to consider why you are feeling the way that you are. You love him plain and simple. Your reasoning for not taking the relationship to the next level makes no sense to me at all. "we did not want to get into something and end of getting a divorce." That's like not wanting to eat for fear of getting sick or fat as a negative result! I understand religious and even cultural differences at times can put a strain on a relationship but if the two of you were/are in love, throwing it all away is a waste. Love is such a rare bird to find and just letting go seems like the wrong thing to do. Where were the religious differences when the two of you fell in love? The heavens didn't open up and strike the two of you with a bolt of lightning. I'm not making fun of anyone's religion here but show me a loveless religion and I will show you a religion that has issues. I understand your fear of being hurt, that's natural when you love someone and are afraid to risk. Love is all about risk and risk is just a part of giving it your all. When we put ourselves out there, there are no guarantees as to what the end result will be. Divorce is as much as an option as a lifetime of happiness but what are you willing to risk to find out? Many relationships can be one sided at times and that does not mean they will stay that course. If you really love him, work it out. RC
  13. Kanbi, I'm sure this would be hurtful for your mom to hear as well and I admire your courage in putting her before you. Sooner or later you will decide what is the best way to deal with this. Kanbi is japanese isn't it? 知っているより強い。 RC
  14. Kanbi, You're between a rock and a hard place here and it is very evident by the differing opinions here that even as adults making the best choice in your situation is a very difficult one. Points have been made that this is your parents relationship and you should not rock the boat so to speak. If you can live with this, maybe this is your answer. You have written about the level of disturbance this has caused you and your desires for him to stop. Approaching him would be a step in the right direction but you seem to be either afraid or embarrassed to do so. Your mother was my choice because then she could choose what to do with what you tell her. She can confront him or do nothing but at least you can get this off of your chest. If you feel what your father has done is wrong, then it is wrong. No one else here can tell you what or how to feel. RC
  15. There some good points made by others on here for you to say nothing but if you are a female I would have some grave concerns about this. If your parents are having issues in their marriage, this may be a focal point. I know you would hate to be the cause of their arguments or even a divorce but what else is going on in which you have not discovered? Do you think your mom knows about it or would even care? I'm sorry but a father looking at teen porn is not OK. RC
  16. Well that changes my position on it. How old are you? I would be pretty uncomfortable knowing a father is looking at teen porn and has a teenage daughter or son. Your profile does not indicate whether you are male or female. You have to handle this the best way you can but if you confront him directly he probably won't change his behavior, IMO your mom needs to know. It's a touchy situation and if you are 100% sure he is looking at it and has a special file for it, I see other issues in your parents relationship. I think keeping this from your mom may do more damage than good. RC
  17. Normal is hard to define. I'm a father and have no interest in looking at porn on the web but that's just me. Depending upon what type of porn he is looking at would help to determine my level of horror. I guess if it was typical Playboy Magazine type pictures it would be different from hardcore, teen or interactive sites. I think you need to discuss this with your mother because it is going to eat you up inside if you don't. Her reaction could start world-war three around your house but your father needs to be aware that you know, so he can either stop or be more careful.
  18. Blender said it best, not much room for anything further. RC
  19. It's possible there is something she is not telling you but if you try to force it out of her it could make things worse. Give her some space and try and hold yourself together until she is ready to come forward. RC
  20. I think this is all a bit early for counseling, perhaps she is still dealing with her guilt. She may feel that since she screwed up maybe you will too in retaliation or by circumstance. The best you can do is just assure her that you are with her by choice, if you wanted someone else you would have been long gone. Time is all I can see here that is going to help. RC
  21. Do what makes it easiest on yourself. An emotional good-bye isn't going to do either one of you any good. Stay away from any dramatics and tears, it is what it is, an end which brings about a beginning. RC
  22. Good for you, that's a start in emotionally preparing yourself for what is about to happen. I know how hard it is but instead of focusing on her, focus on yourself and the new life which will be in front of you soon. RC
  23. If it is going to make you feel better, then do it. You have nothing to lose. The two of you are not dating, she's in a relationship and if you ruffle her feathers a little, it's harmless. Being friends as you are is tough because you read more in to the simple things that probably carry no meaning beyond their original intent. RC
  24. The relationship has ended, giving her mementos serves no real purpose here. You need a clean break living like room mates has to be hard. The end is never pretty but don't make it harder than it already is. I would change the sleeping arrangements until you leave. RC
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