lunavica

I recently had another post in the "breaking up" forum however last night my ex had brought up the idea of dating. This of course after I told him that I couldn't be just friends with him and that I needed to walk away for right now. At first I wanted to jump for joy but I began to question him about what he wanted. His issue is that he's just not ready to be in a serious relationship but that we can date (which by his idea is seeing each other weekly and chatting on the phone every 2-3 days). I am still leary about this though and told him that I need some time to think it over. He had also mentioned that he didn't know if it would be enough for me as he couldn't put me #1 as he did before. I have come up with some questions to ask him before I procede either way and just wanted some input to see if I am doing the right thing! Firstly, I am going to ask him if it's just "us" dating or if he's going to be seeing other people. If other people are involved I don't really want any part of it. Secondly, is he only bringing up the idea of dating b/c I told him that I couldn't be his friend? Any thoughts?

Thank you both for your kind words. Blender is completely right. I screwed up today though........I was doing so well and then he called this morning and I stupidly picked up. The conversation was going fine - we were just chatting about mindless stuff really - how hungover I was, how my treadmill was delivered today, etc. Then he tells me that he still loves me and misses me and then I got angry. I retaliated and then it began. I went on to say that if he loved me and missed me so much he would fight for me, that if he loved me he wouldn't want to hurt me or see me hurt and that we would be together......I wasen't so much angry at him I was angry at myself for saying these things. I felt like I had no control on what was coming out of my mouth and I couldn't stop talking. I ended the conversation by hanging up on him - yah so "grown up" I know. I was a basket case the rest of the morning and then calmed down and focused on putting my treadmill together. He ended up calling back in the afternoon and I apologized to him. His response - it's completely understandable and I don't blame you. I commented on how it wasen't okay for me to say those things even if I feel them (at least not to him!) and that he asked for his time and space and I should be respecting his choices and by not doing that I am actually pushing him further away. He told me not to worry about it and that he would call me tomorrow and come over to help me set up my treadmill. A sucker for punishment?? And if he needs his space why does he keep contacting me?! Sorry all, just needed to vent! And I should be doing it on here rather than at him.

Thanks so much for the amazing words of wisdom blender! After reading it I just started to cry - good tears! - as what you wrote really hit me. It's day 4 without contact and it's so hard as I seem to run into him almost daily (we work for the same company but in different locations and departments). I am trying to keep myself so busy because whenever I have a quiet time he is all I think about. I guess my main problem is that I just don't understand the whole situation. If I loved somebody I wouldn't want to take the chance to let them go. I know I will probably not get any closure but it just keeps replaying in my mind. I know I can get through this and I will not break down and call him. I just have to be strong when I do run into him during business hours. Thanks to everyone else who replied as well - I just keeep going re-reading the respones every time I have the "urge" to call him.

We had dated just under six months. I know I should give him his space but it's so hard right now. All I want to do is call him........

Hi all, I am new to this website and have been reading through posts to try and understand my dilemma. My b/f and I just broke up and get this....I didn't do anything wrong. He is absolutely terrified and needs his time. He used the phrase "running scared". I know I should give him his space and I know he loves me very much but I don't exactly know how I should act or what I should say. Anyone else been in a similar situation?