IntoTheFire

That sounds really interesting, and definitely sounds like she likes you. Get in there, and make sure you keep us updated!! Good luck!

It's all in the title really. I was asked this question earlier today, how would I personally define the word gay to a child? I know kids' minds develop at a crazy speed, but for example, if your 11/12 year old brother/sister/son/daughter asked you directly what the word gay meant, and what being gay means, how would you define it to them?

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turqoise dude I read what you wrote in your last post about the gay/straight/bi thing, and I totally identify with what you said, so I was gonna send you a PM, only you don't have that option on your profile.

Well, I'm not saying this hypothetical girlfriend was in some huge, love filled relationship with a girl. Maybe she was 18 and got drunk and had sex with a friend in college or something. Surely a small thing like that isn't that easy to figure out?

I've been wondering this all day. Guys, picture the setting. You and your semi long term/long term girlfriend are chilling on the couch, watching tv, and there's a girl-on-girl scene on the screen. She makes a comment to the effect of "I've done that before with a girl", basically meaning she'd had sex with a girl before. Not while she was with you or anything, in the past. What do you reckon your reaction would be? Would you feel sick? Turned on? Indifferent? Scared? Shocked? Happy? Intrigued?

What do you mean by "though possibly being one"? Have you not worked out what direction you want to take yet? Join the club.

Yeah I have done it once. At the time I was like "what the hell?!" but it was as soon as the big O passed that I just couldn't control it, not if my life had depended on it. I still don't really know why it happened. Alot of people put it down to your partner "hitting a spot they don't usually hit" and I think that could be right. It definitely wasn't a sad feeling, more the opposite actually. It was more of a "I can't believe how in love with you I am" feeling.

turqoise - I've never heard that Oxford definition. It absolutely does suck. How can they write that it's usually a guy thing to be gay? That's ridiculous. The only basis they can go on for their claim is the people who are "out". Maybe if they didn't write such flatline things in their dictionary more people would be willing to accept their sexuality and thereforeeee they might get a more accurate picture of which sex has more of the sex maniacs eh? On the sex maniac point, I agree that the sexual attraction quote suggests a purely sordid, physical, sex based relationship, which of course isn't the case. I like your definition. Instead of implying the physical, sex based thing it implies a multi-dimensional thing. It suggests to me that you can look at someone and think they're hot, but if you don't have a mental and emotional stimulation from them, you don't have very much.

Well, I'm not gonna sit here and judge you through a laptop screen, I'll just write what I'm thinking. First of all, don't call the girl right now. Don't text her, don't email her, don't go to her house, or her parents house or her friends house. Nothing for at least a few days. She's almost certainly going to have told some friends or her parents about what happened. I know I would do it, and if you want to get back with her you need to be prepared for a huge backlash from the other people in her life. I know if my sisters boyfriend or my friend's guy were to lay a finger on them, I'd make sure he felt it too. I think anger management classes are a good idea. Not only will it help you in general but it might go towards showing your girl and her friends/family that you're truly remorseful and sorry about what happened. As someone said before me, there's a huge difference between slapping someone in an arugment and beating the crap out of someone on a regular basis, so I think you can definitely come back from this horrible experience. When you first get in contact with her, I'd go see her face-to-face. Not a text or call, and just be honest about everything. I think from reading your post you would do anything to take back what happened, so make sure she knows you're genuine. I think you know yourself what you want to say, cos you've done it pretty well here. None of us on the site know you well enough to give you the words, but like I said, I think you can do it.

Is the child's mother still in contact with this man? Do they share custody of the kid or is he the sole parent? My friend had a similar-ish situation. She started seeing someone who has a kid about 5 years old and it took forever for an introduction to happen. The child's mum apparently isn't a great person. She's a bit of a loose cannon who has threatened to beat up my friend and stuff. Anyway, it took a while for my friend's boyfriend to do the intro because he was concerned over a few things generally relating to the confusion and change for the kid. He was worried that the kid wouldn't react well to Daddy's new friend and have the "Is she my new Mum?" thing. I'm not a parent, but everyone knows that parents (well, the majority of them) think the world of their children (especially if he only has the one child right now) and they put the childs needs and concerns before their own or anyone elses. I think I'd do the same as your guy is doing actually, although I would have explained all of this to you and made sure we were all cool with where we stood for now. Have you spoken to him about this at all? Suggested that you want to meet his child?

If I was in your situation, I would get her attention outside of class; on a lunch break or something, while she's on her own and tell her your concerns with regard to the attention you think she has been giving you. Like someone said before me, be friendly and polite and simply tell her that it's not your kinda thing. If you can understand where this girl is coming from (and I think you can, since you referred to your own experience in your post) and that she's probably infatuated with you, I hope you'll imagine yourself in this girls position, it's probably driving her just as crazy as it is you. Talk to her, be nice, be casual, and tell her that you're not digging the attention.