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loverUTD

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  1. "Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be; The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera, What will be, will be." Though I rather enjoy hanging onto what could be. It's all I've got, and it brings me comfort. I still can't sleep at night, but at least I can go about my day to day business knowing that we'll be together again someday.
  2. Feelings aren't like a faucet. They don't turn on and off. She deleted you on facebook so she didn't have to see it 50 times a day. That being said, I would maintain NC until she contacts you. No matter how you change or think you change, or how good a job you think you'll do with a second chance, first she has to want to try again. And that will come of her own accord. Let her go. If she comes back to you, then she was always yours. If not, then she never was. /cliche
  3. Quit for her because you love her and she's trying to help you, and herself, and you're relationship. Geez.
  4. It sounds like you messed up and ran her off. You can't make her come back. If she wants to give you another chance, she will. But there's nothing you can do about that. You can't manipulate her feelings with your online status or your away messages. And odds are, she's not trying to do that to you. She's just trying to fill her life with other things to fill the void you've left in it. I would say block her on AIM, that way you can't see her, she can't see you. If she needs to, she can call.
  5. That's a tough situation. Personally I don't understand that "grass is greener" feeling of wanting to shop around.
  6. I think the thing to do would be not to update your facebook\myspace\away message every 5 minutes with what you're doing. I know there's an urge to do that because you want to think that they're checking it, that they care what you're doing, that it's like they're there with you. Just be online when you're online. And try to restrict yourself to 3 away messages a day. And keep them general. Like "Sleeping" or "Out." Then just try not to think about her.
  7. I listen to sad country music every day. I constructed a playlist the day after she requested time and space apart that's designed to cut right through me. All the songs that are so applicable to our situation. To how I feel. And I've added to that over the past 3 weeks. I've done a decent job at maintaining limited contact. I plan on this taking at least another month, though I'm prepared to wait as long as it takes. My lead song, and my favorite: I breathe in I breathe out Put one foot in front of the other Take one day at a time 'Til you find I'm that someone you can't live without Until then I breathe in and breathe out
  8. I think the best way for a fresh start is to actually treat it like a fresh start. It may seem silly, but ask her out to dinner. A date. Talk to her. Get to know her again. Ask her those stupid things like, what's your favorite movie? Get to know one another again. Build your trust and relationship anew, but with the ability to sidestep potholes from the past. You'll bring the spark of a fresh romance back, and you'll have a fresh chance at what was mostly a good old thing. Just my 2 cents.
  9. Just listen to yourself. You're going to quit anyway. You could have quit for her and avoided all of this. Feel like you're giving up control of your life by doing something to make her happy? Then obviously this relationship isn't going to last. It's not all about YOU. Your smoking bothered HER. It made her unhappy. And instead of identifying the problem and trying to fix it, you freaked out and broke up with her.
  10. That's not the right attitude to go into this with. You broke up because of feelings that both of you are entitled to have, right? That's not reason not to trust one another. So give it an honest try at starting again. Try to start things fresh if you can. It might be the best decision you ever made in your life.
  11. Yeah, you broke no contact. But it was reasonable. You need to look at why he told you not to hold out hope for a reconciliation. Is it because he feels inadequate and would feel guilty if you waited for him to get his act together? Or because he genuinely believes you're incompatible?
  12. Love isn't a power struggle. You shouldn't resent her for "winning" a fight. Before there ever IS a fight, ask yourself "is this worth creating strife and friction in our relationship?" Most of the time the answer is NO, and you should just do what you can to make the person you love happy. I don't even know where to start over seemingly choosing narcotics over a meaningful relationship. That doesn't make for a positive outlook for the rest of your life.
  13. How long have you been together? Do you love her? Why did she break up with you?
  14. I'm also running no contact up until around valentines day. She sent me a message on facebook yesterday letting me know that I spelled the name of a stuffed animal wrong in a facebook picture caption, and said "way to not say hi or give me a chance to" in regards to me ignoring her at an on campus event the other night. She also said I looked good. I'm confident that things will work out. I'm actually doing the opposite of getting my mind off of things. Her pictures still adorn my laptop and desktop backgrounds. There's nothing I can do other than hope things work out, and give her the time and space she asked for. I still think we'll be together eventually, and I'm not giving up.
  15. Chase your first love. You'll always regret it if you don't give it another chance. Never give up. I believe fairy tales can come true. I believe in true love. I believe you're not over her for a reason. I'm not necessarily the most impartial source of advice.
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