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Relationship Coach

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Everything posted by Relationship Coach

  1. Relationship Coach
    Welcome to ENA! Relationships often can take a hit when entering the college years and being apart can just make things worse. I don't doubt that there is love there on both ends but feelings can certainly change. Working, going to school and trying to facilitate a LDR is a full plate. He may be questioning his feelings because of where he is discovering his priorities are. Is it possible that someone else has caught his eye, yes but I don't think there is enough given here to conclude that. The best thing you can do is give him the space he needs and see what happens. You have to set some sort of a time frame in which you yourself will have to move on. Loving someone in a selfless way gives them the things in which they need at the risk of losing what you want. Keep your eyes open for signs that his emotional state has been brought on by guilt. I think in the coming weeks you may learn more. RC
  2. Relationship Coach
    Dako, If intelligence and wisdom could be given out as degrees, your house would be wallpapered in diplomas. RC
  3. Relationship Coach
    I was using the word "alone" as in a relationship. I'm glad you are surrounded by friends and family. RC
  4. Relationship Coach
    You feel this way because you feel that you were not given a chance. The good thing is, she ended it when she did. Another week or two and you would have been worse off. Broken eggs are always best discovered while you are still at the grocery store. RC
  5. Relationship Coach
    You don't miss him, you miss what you enjoyed with him! Those experiences you can share with anyone. It's the emotional side of your heart that wont let go, your logical side is the one to trust here. This is a rough time of the year to be alone and feelings become more heightened but keep things in perspective, you are better off alone than with him. RC
  6. Relationship Coach
    I think it's pretty clear what is going on here. When he is out with his buddies he is not behaving as if he is in a relationship, thus his lack of trust of you is purely a reflection of his guilt. You should have insisted that you joined them on their little shopping trip, I can only imagine his mis-firing brain trying to deal with that. This guy is just as seedy as his friend and I hope sooner than later you see him for who he really is. I have followed your posts in the past and I can't believe you are still together. Are you afraid you can't do better? Has he destroyed your self-esteem that much? There comes a time when you just have to cut and run. RC
  7. Relationship Coach
    A degree hanging on the wall makes someone employable, not attractive. Being the best that you can be and being comfortable with who you are is more important. If you find yourself in a situation where you are being judged in this manner, walk away. What does it now say about someone with a Master's degree you can't hold the interest of someone with an AA? Relationships and love are about you the person, not educational achievments, checking account balances and initials before or after names. RC
  8. Relationship Coach
    The more you push and express your feelings the further he will remain. I know it's hard when you have such strong feelings but you cannot control how he feels. You can only tell him that you wished that things were different but you will do your best to accept things as they are and move on with your life. You have a child to raise and a life to live, those need to be your sole focus at this time. RC
  9. Relationship Coach
    Best of luck to you. RC
  10. Relationship Coach
    But you facilitated this drama. You should have told her (the new girl) the past is in the past where it belongs, today is about us. Live and learn but LEARN! RC
  11. Relationship Coach
    Be firm in your resolve for a long term solution to this. Everytime you sleep with him, it's a short term fix to a long term problem. Lay it on the line for him that it is either a committed relationship or nothing and don't settle for anything less...stick to your guns! RC
  12. Relationship Coach
    You know what needs to be done, stick to your guns! RC
  13. Relationship Coach
    Yes, you are at fault for facilitating his behavior but you want a relationship and I really don't think he does at this point. Your relationship with him needs to be defined and clarified. You can either stay in the rut which you are in or fill this void with something meaningful. You came here because the present direction of this relationship is not what you really want. I think you are afraid of losing what little of him you really have but what of yourself have you lost in this untitled relationship? RC
  14. Relationship Coach
    See a doctor, get a new trainer and meet with a nutritionist. If what your doing isn't working, find out why. RC
  15. Relationship Coach
    Then do as I suggest and tell him it's either rebuild the relationship or abstain for sex with him. You will have your answer, it easier than trying to read tea leaves. RC
  16. Relationship Coach
    I don't think all guys want a skinny girl, I feel that is a shallow perception. The fact that you feel that you are undesirable is probably transcending to potential suitors. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and if you're not, make a change. The wonderful thing about this is you can do whatever you put your mind to. Your weight loss attempts have failed, welcome to the 99% club. The majority of people who attempt to lose weight have unrealistic expectations and lose patients with a healthy weight loss plan which requires a healthy change in habits, not a diet! See a nutritionist, consult with a fitness expert (CPT) and use your ex as motivation to stick with it. Because healthy changes do not happen over night it is hard for most people to stay committed long enough to see the true benefits of a healthy lifestyle. First believe in yourself and do this for yourself, secondly for your children and everyone else is an afterthought. RC
  17. Relationship Coach
    Your ex is called an ex because she is out of your life. If you allow her to control what you do and who you see, your missing the concept of having an ex. You're sending a real strong message to your ex that you are weak, let alone what your present girl must think. Life is too short to be looking over your shoulder at where you have been. Focus on the girl at your side and stop caring about what your ex thinks. You're headed for a rough life in the dating world if get a grip on this real fast! RC
  18. Relationship Coach
    You have allowed him to manipulate you into getting what he wants, sex without a commitment. Either he is striking out or just too lazy to find it elsewhere and that's easy to do when the old stand by is always there and available. You want a relationship but not like this. Tell him the sex part is over and if he wishes to focus on rebuilding a relationship with you it's back to square one. If this sends him running then you know where his sole interests were. If he agrees to give it a go then take it slow. Friends with benefits often gets someone hurt and that someone will probably be you. RC
  19. Relationship Coach
    You can't control her actions or emotions so unless you want to screw this up, sit back and wait until she either comes around or you get tired and move on. There are really no other choices that wont push her away. RC
  20. Relationship Coach
    Many would love to have this crystal ball you just glimpsed into....RUN! Her mom had good intentions and high expectations but her lack of action and involvement is certainly being overlooked by your GF. You have a pretty full plate as it is and you did actually try so don't take any blame or guilt here. This is a perfect example of how your GF and her mother are going to team up in the future, is this the type of family you want down the road? RC
  21. Relationship Coach
    I'm with Annie on this, your mother also may be sensing that she is going to be losing you soon if you were to marry your BF. As for your parents issues between them, stay out of it and don't look to blame either one. They were more than likely both at fault and putting you in the middle of it as a child was wrong. Children need to see the core (their parents) of the family has a strong and unified unit. As for you being controlling, I think in a way we all are which is fine as long as it is bridled. Give your mom some space and let her know that you will not tolerate her negativity towards your BF or the relationship. Her advice is maligned and unsolicited, jaded by a miserable marriage. RC
  22. Relationship Coach
    It doesn't matter what he thinks....the courts will let him in on a secret, they make and enforce the rules. I went through a divorce with a child involved and your Mr.Perfect needs a wake up call! You could do so much better and the kids will someday see him for who he really is. Guilty spending sprees become transparent. RC
  23. Relationship Coach
    ...and look where that has got you! It's not what you have invested, it's what you learned. The fact is it sounds like there is a split in the road just ahead and you need to do what will allow you to be happy. I really think you know what's best, I know it's tough to face but ask yourself how much more of this loveless relationship can you stand? RC
  24. Relationship Coach
    My question is why isn't he ready? Is he looking to keep his options open while being in a quasi relationship? Doesn't want to talk about it means you are not going to like his reasons and may cause the two of you to split up again. This isn't love, it's all about convenience. I think you've made great strides to put the relation back together and he's hiding the final piece for his own selfish reasons. You are going to have to decide what you are willing to sacrifice here because what you want may not be in the cards with whom you are with. RC
  25. Relationship Coach
    You can turn the tables on him and tell him you're not ready either, to be played that is. His freedom and taste for the single life are his only possible needs for an apartment of his own. He is skirting his obligations to his children and I'm sure he will continue to put his needs ahead of everyone else's. I realize and respect that you would like to put the family back together but it takes a solid mutual commitment and I don't see that here. Tell him to go enjoy his freedom and if he continues to violate the mandated child support, he may not have a choice as to whom his next roommate will be! RC
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