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AllTornUp

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  1. AllTornUp
    I'm the same way with the taking a step back everytime I hear from my ex. I saw her last night when she came to get the rest of her stuff. I was in tears after she left She seemed pissed off--not sure what that was all about. Unfortunately, I am still finding more of her stuff that she forgot.. This just keeps getting dragged out longer and longer.
  2. AllTornUp
    Well, it's been exactly a month since my ex broke up with me. I haven't had any urges to contact her until now. All of a sudden, I feel this overwhelming urge to call her. Tell her that I still love her and want to work things out.. I know from reading posts that it never works.
  3. AllTornUp
    I would like very much to be friends with my ex someday also. But I know that I cannot right now. I would not be able to hang out with her without wishing for more. So for me right now, I'm doing No Contact. I really wish I could start being friends with her again after about 6 months, but somehow I think it will take much longer
  4. AllTornUp
    Luv, Depending on your state, you may not need proof. You should be able to get a temporary restraining order just for the asking. Then at the court date you can both explain your side to the judge. If he doesn't show up, you'll get a one year one permanently.
  5. AllTornUp
    She broke up with me like three weeks before and set up the move while I was to be out of town. I'm sorry if I made it seem like she snuck out while I was away. It wasn't like that at all. I think I'm healing pretty good so far. I'm more annoyed that her stuff is here than moping because of it. I'm just ready to not have any dealings with her hanging over my head, so I won't be interrupted in my healing.
  6. AllTornUp
    That's a good idea. She already has a place, but I could just box up her stuff and stage it in the garage over the weekend. That way it's out of my way. If it starts to bug me in there, then I could do as you suggest with the storage unit.
  7. AllTornUp
    OK, so my ex-girlfriend moved out over the weekend while I was out of town. Unfortunately, she only got 85-90% of her stuff. She emailed about getting the rest of it on Tuesday. I responded because she has to get her stuff and I shan't be a jerk about it. At any rate, she emailed about it Tuesday morn and we traded a few emails about the stuff in question. I have heard nary a peep since. Do I break NC to tell her she needs to get it by XX date? Any guidance from the masses on wording? I feel like this is hanging over my head. I just want to get it over with so I can concentrate 100% on getting over her. And her stuff is preventing me from rearranging things--particularly the closet. I did program another garage door remote so I can park in the garage since she hasn't returned hers yet..
  8. AllTornUp
    Who knows what day it is for me.. I just got back to town today after visiting my parents. There were many distractions, but I still had stretches of being down or wondering what my ex was doing.. Getting back was a lot better than I had feared it would be. I arranged for my best friend to help me move furniture around. So I have a bed to sleep on and a kitchen table to eat on.. I was struck by how much stuff she hasn't moved yet. She texted me while I was airborne asking that I let her know when I land and that she needed to grab more stuff. But she texted later to never mind that she was out of there for the night. Because of the nevermind, I didn't reply. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle that? Do I make plans to not be around when she's here to get the rest of her stuff? All in all I'm feeling pretty good I saw a famous local football player on the airplane back home today--that was really cool.
  9. AllTornUp
    GoingForIt, Congratulations on going NC for a week. I agree that the best friend contacting you is very fishy. I suggest you avoid her as it's likely a way for your ex to find out what's going on with you. As for your ex contacting you about dropping off your stuff and picking up hers, I don't know, but it sounds like it could be above-board. She might really just want to get your stuff back to you and pick up hers... Maybe if we knew what sort of stuff it is it would seem fishier? At any rate, I'm pretty sure SuperDave would be counseling you to think only about what YOU are doing or thinking, not about what SHE might be doing or thinking... I know it's hard (trust me, I'm there with you), but it really is better if you can avoid thinking about her and what she might be doing. I had a bit of a tough weekend thinking about what my ex was doing. The thoughts just kept popping into my head and sometimes just wouldn't go away..
  10. AllTornUp
    OK, I'm out of town. Trying to stay distracted. Woke up this morning and started thinking about how all her stuff should be out of my house by now... I wish I could turn the thoughts off. It's so hard. I find myself reminiscing randomly throughout each day.
  11. AllTornUp
    You're absolutely right, krnelson. I DO NOT NEED her. I only WANT her. I lived without her before and I will again now. Someday I will fall in love again and it will be better than ever. I will NOT lose myself again.
  12. AllTornUp
  13. AllTornUp
    I am an individual that falls in love too easily. With my ex-g/f, I fell in love with her, but bit my tongue and didn't tell her, thinking that it wouldn't be true if I didn't say it out loud. When she told me she loved me, it all came flooding out.. I think I need to go on multiple dates with different women in a short amount of time so as to not focus on one right away.. Unfortunately, I don't know how to get dates.. I probably just need to bury my fear and go for it and let the chips fall where they may..
  14. AllTornUp
    I know, I do want to heal. I want to heal in two months if possible. But I also don't want to risk having a rebound relationship. I thought if I waited a few weeks and then started casual dating, maybe I could gain my confidence back and thereby heal more quickly. Is that too dangerous? I want to make sure I truly heal and I'm wary to rush it too much. At the same time, I do not want to languish in desperation forever like when my ex-wife left..
  15. AllTornUp
    That has to be hard. I'm still in that "I'd take my ex back in a New York minute" stage myself. That will take some time to get past. I plan to take a few weeks to get used to being single again before trying to go on any dates. But then I will start trying to talk to girls and getting dates. That will be a whole other challenge as I've never done it before. I've been in exactly three relationships: 3yrs, 8yrs, 1.5yrs. And I met them through work, friends, and work. So I am by no standards a "player"..
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