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Ms Omaniac

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  1. Ms Omaniac
    i agree with Richgabe....sexual compatibility is VERY important. i know i would eventually terminate a relationship if we dont see eye to eye on our sex life.
  2. Ms Omaniac
    maybe she has issues with sex because of her ex? her low sex drive could also be caused by medication...is she on any medication for depression? when i was on anti-depressants...i had NOO sex drive which was the weird and the first time in my life i felt that. hopefully you two can work this out. sex is important though not the only factor to a healthy relationship. but it appears that this is very important to you...and if it is...then you should deal with it head on and not settle. -ivy
  3. Ms Omaniac
    that is a cowardly way to end things if that is his intentions. ive known a couple of people that do that...and it is VERY selfish on their part. they dont want to have to deal with the tears and the guilt. at least you found out and are not kept in the dark a second longer. i would remind myself of this everytime he creeps into my mind to help me get over him. to me...i would rather a guy be jerk in the end of the relationship because it helps me get over them easier.
  4. Ms Omaniac
    sounds like youre being a tad snobbish. people arent gonna wanna hang around you if they are going to think youre going to critisize them for petty things. try to be more open-minded and not let it bother you so much. you can tell your closest friends in confidence your annoyances but i wouldnt let it show on your sleeve kinda thing.
  5. Ms Omaniac
    well...sometimes when people want to stay friends...they want just that...to be friends. other times...and im guilty of it too....i want to stay friends in hopes of the relationship coming back...but better. maybe he doesnt like being taken for granted and wants you to realize it...and maybe he has already moved on in his head and heart. i dont know...it's hard to tell. i cant tell you if time apart will fix it or make it worse. it depends. if you two do truly love each other then time apart might fix it because you two will miss each other immensely. but maybe your ex wants to move on with his life and time apart will just help him get over you. there is a saying that is very true...that maybe youve heard since it's popular. (paraphrased) "if you love someone...set them free. if they return to you then it was meant to be. if they dont come back, they were never yours to begin with." ive seen both situtations happen time and time again. there is no one all telling solution...sorry.
  6. Ms Omaniac
    Im sorry...im lost...what exactly is GMO? your article was interesting but i couldnt help but wonder...what does GMO stand for.
  7. Ms Omaniac
    i think youre analyzing this waaaay too much. maybe it's just me though. but i know i would concentrate more on just enjoying his company and not fretting about what is missing all the time. it seems only you are making yourself unhappy and not enjoying the moment.
  8. Ms Omaniac

    Malls

    Ms Omaniac replied to smiles21's topic in Dating Advice

    that question is hard to answer. i know i dont like for strangers to approach me and start talking...but some of my more outgoing friends would love that. it all depends on the girl.
  9. Ms Omaniac
    i also suffered from an anxiety disorder for about 3 years. the fog has finally mostly lifted but i got help from my therapist and medication and my understanding family & friends. good luck and dont give up hope.
  10. Ms Omaniac
    msingler, im really sorry for you to be going through such pain. you are going through what many of us have already gone through...and that is the broken heart of the person we feel was our one true love. because your relationship is getting worse and worse...it's getting to the point where your relationship is known as a toxic relationship. even though you love her....it's almost like she is slowly making you crazy. your actions do not reflect your average normal behavior. you feel like youre probably losing it and that feels awful because you might have thought of yourself as a sensible person that can control your emotions before all this. and youre right...because you 2 fight so much...she is handling this by hardening her feelings to be able to cope with it and move on. and since it sounds like she is moving on...you have no choice but to. it's very very tough...but after you are over her...you will be a lot stronger and hopefully will learn from this experience. she might have "fallen out of love" with you solely because she wants to know what else is out there and wants new experiences. maybe...i dont know enough of your situation. but you say you dont know how she could have fallen out of love with you when you did everything possible to make her happy. that to me shows that it probably has nothing to do with you personally nor your actions...just her developing into a different person....which happens all the time and is normal/to be expected. you really do need to dredge onward without her and try to make your life as happy as possible. you need to find another new norm for your life that does not have her in it. i know that sucks....god how i know...but i dont think she is giving you much choice either. also...if you become that "pathetic ex stalker boyfriend"...it's understandable BUT she will like you even less. try to do damage control as it is and stop talking to her altogether and hang out with your friends...find new hobbies...go out with new people...delve into work/schoolwork. take care.
  11. Ms Omaniac
    im glad you'll be going out of town. that will help you clear your head. the book i was referring to...which will help explain in so much more detail is called "men who cant love. how to recognize a commitmentphobic man before he breaks your heart" you will feel MUCH better after you have read this. this book was written by a commitment-phobe and will explain your bf's action. he will give you advice how to handle it and what to expect. good luck and take care.
  12. Ms Omaniac
    well if she wants a kiss in public and you diss her in public...she will take it that you are ashamed of her or embarrassed by her. try to be nice and kiss her if she wants one.
  13. Ms Omaniac
    try going out with her. because you are so timid about going out with her because you have no experience with other girlfriends...try to go on a slow, casual pace. start out as friends...take quick dates like a lunch date or going to the movies where there isnt much talking going on between you. try to be around her more and more to get more comfortable with her presense. if after being around her more and more makes you uncomfortable...then you know you might not be ready yet to date. hopefully though, she will eventually be someone you end up relying on to have a good time with.
  14. Ms Omaniac
    your ex sounds like she wants your money AND her new bf. and you say you have a decent woman at home now...but it doesnt sound like you love her much less appreciate her. quite the problem i have a feeling if you left your current gf...you will eventually miss having someone who was so nice and sweet and loving to you and maybe realize then your feelings were deeper for her than you originally thought. i also think if you take your ex back...the same problems will come back and she will keep bringing up the past. since she is 24...i dont know if she has had enough experience to see to just let those old problems go and start new and fresh. maybe with a lot of therapy you two can make it ...but it will be a long battle. your current gf, for the time being, seems more problem free....just too bad you dont feel as much love for her. you need to evaluate you situation and see what makes you happy. if choosing you ex is...then you need to talk to her about a trial relationship and seeing a therapist. if you choose your current gf...then you need to cease all contact from your ex. good luck with that....sounds very complicated.
  15. Ms Omaniac
    you need to start seeing a therapist and possibly getting on medication. being in a relationship is not as big a problem as you getting a hold of your mental problem. once you get a hold of the mental problems, then you can have a healthy relationship.
  16. Ms Omaniac
    i knooow you dont want to hear "move on"...but you HAVE to...you dont have a choice. he sounds like the type of guy that goes from girl to girl fast. even though you say this one lady got in between you two...but ANY lady had the potential to get in between you two because he likes the thrill of the hunt. and i doubt seriously that he is going to be exclusive with this lady either. she just doesnt know it yet. he sounds like a great manipulator...telling you things that he knows you want to hear. he has probably done this several times before so he knows what to do and say. he also sounds like he is addicted to the rush and newness of a relationship...but once it starts to get stable and more serious...he bails to find another. try to see only his faults...dont reflect on the things he said...consider them lies. i truly think this man is very bad for you and preyed on your good heart.
  17. Ms Omaniac
    im sorry youre going through this...sounds awful. the guilt and regret you must have for having "cheated" (though that is arguable) and now the constant anguish over what to do. unfortunately...because you have such pain when you do talk to her...NC is your only option right now until you can talk to her and not feel pain when she talks about her current bf. and she's right....further on down the line...you never know what will happen. ive seen couples eventually come back together...even the tv characters you referred to earlier...ross and rachel. i do think you two might have a chance later on in life...but because she chooses another right now...you need to move on. because she was devastated when you told her you wouldnt be her friend...she will also have to think long and hard if her current bf is the one for her or if she is just kidding herself. after a long period of NC...she will know whether she was happiest with you or happy with her new bf. either choice she makes...you should accept and deal with accordingly. but you continuing to talk to her only prolongs your pain and suffering AND hers. but since you are not able to (yet) be happy with her being happy...even if it means her being happy with another...dont talk to her.
  18. Ms Omaniac
    yeah...unfortunately...he sounds like a textbook case. people who go and come back...they do that with longer and longer periods of time gaps...and their returns are shorter and shorter. i understand the no communication is REEALLLLLLLLLLLY hard...but it's the only option you have if you want to get better. until he resolves his issues...he is not relationship material. and HE needs to want to resolve it also...not just you. and the only way he will have that desire is if he loses or stands to lose a person he loves dearly. if you keep contacting him...he has no sense of urgency to want to get better...and maybe even will get more annoyed with you and the situation...and will then choose that life is much easier to not have to deal with it. there is a reallllly good book you should read that will make you feel better that expounds on what i just said. when i get to the house later...i will post it on here so that you can look it up. the book is basically from a guy like your boyfriend who had these issues...what he did...why he did it...and his advice to females who are dating guys like him. and i understand you needing advice even though youre getting a degree in psychology. i have several degrees...including my bachelors in psychology...and still cannot council myself. don't worry about that.
  19. Ms Omaniac
    first off....im truly sorry for this pain and confusion and frustration you're going through. it's awful to be in a situation you dont understand and then for it to cause you such awful heartache. i maybe wrong...and i surely cant speak from a men's point of view...but ive read how some men dont handle intense feelings well. the book went on to say that when a man feels extreme intense feelings that it scares him and he will back away. BUT he will also keep coming back once the feelings start to get more under control because after some time...he is able to have a stronger grasp on his emotions. but then once he comes back...the intense feelings come back and then he goes away again. This is a painful and torturous loop since he will go and come back...leaving you in despair and pain and confusion. the solution was to have no contact because you are put on this emotional roller coaster. you are happy when he does call and then sad when you hear he is trying to move on with his life without you...and then happy again when he tells you he misses you...sad again when he is seeing someone else....etc. he has issues though...and this is not your fault. he needs to deal with his issues and not take you along on this painful process. if you leave with no contact...he will miss you and call you. and if you continue to tell him to please leave you be even though you want to talk to him...he will miss you EVEN MORESO and maybe that will give him the strength and desire to try and deal with his issues. but youre right...he is NOT relationship material for his new gf nor you. he will always come back to this. this has to deal with fear of abandonment/fear of commitment. to try and understand his feelings about this...you should look up in psychology textbooks about this problem. this may not help you get him back but you'll at least understand what he's doing and why and that might give you the resolution to move on.
  20. Ms Omaniac
    well...i have cuts alllll over my hands and bottom parts of my arms because i play with my cats a lot. maybe she has cats? normally ive known cutters to cut parts of their body that can be hidden like on their upper arms and upper parts of their legs. if she is a cutter...you prob wouldnt want to blurt out and ask that. maybe talk to her more and more so that she can trust you.
  21. Ms Omaniac
    well...to be frank...if i was your gf...id dump you. not because you have kids or your ex is a lesbian. but that is just waaaaaaaaaay too much drama. i know you want to do what's right for the kids, but getting a divorce ISNT always a bad thing for the kids. they should see their parents be in a healthy relationship...whether it is with each other or with others. but you and your wife are setting the blue print for your kids that once you get married...you need to stay married even if you are unhappy and your spouse starts sleeping with other people. THAT is not healthy nor a good role model. when i was a child...my parents divorced. i was realllllllllllllly sad but im glad they did. they are now both happy with others. if i was your gf...id want you to get a divorce. and most females wouldnt want to be with a man that is still married and refuses to get divorced. do you also not have sexual relations with your gf because your wife said so? if that is the case...then you reallllly need to snap out of that because it's not fair that she can have sex and you cant. youre being pushed and pulled around by everyone there and not standing up and taking charge of your life. you really need to.
  22. Ms Omaniac
    to me...if the false partner does nothing to build the trust back then that person BETTER try if they want to keep me. i wouldnt let this person continue in your life if they dont at least try. if you let the person stay and just put up with it then you arent respecting yourself enough. and people tend to value and respect you as much as you respect yourself. you shouldnt let this person railroad you like that; you deserve much better than that. it sounds like you treat this person with respect and you deserve the same back.
  23. Ms Omaniac
    i'm sure he will think about you. if he truly loved you then he will definitely feel regret. sometimes after someone realizes what they lost, they call back wanting to know how youre doing...and then try to reconcile the relationship. but they might have issues to work through first like immaturity, wanting to know what else is out there, depression, financial difficulties, commitment/abandonment issues, etc. try not to fret about it and occupy your time. definitely DONT call the person...let the person miss you.
  24. Ms Omaniac
    i understand your frustration. you should talk to him about your feelings but try not to push the marriage either....and that's a very difficult line to walk. if he feels you are pushing marriage on him...he might bail. but if you dont talk about how you feel...you'll feel worse and worse. communication is reallllllllly key here. but your needs and his needs need to somehow make a compromise or this relationship will be in serious jeopardy. i really think his maturity is not as developed as yours and unfortunately you cant force his to go fast forward. hope things work out.
  25. Ms Omaniac
    well...maybe you do ramble a bit?...but that's ok...at least youre funny about it. maybe try listening more...making an actual effort to bite your lip and listen. i dont know...i know i dont ramble...but if you think youre rambling and find LOTS of instances....heck...maybe you are hyper and just need to try to settle down some?
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