msingler

yes, of course you can tell if a girl has had sex before and no you cannot tell if a guy has had sex before. If you knew anything about the female anatomy you would know that the membrane covering the vaginal orfice is called the himen and is either torn or moved to the side during intercourse.......geeze

I have been reading many of the postings on this web site to get a picture of what others go through. I started out feeling as though the way i feel about what happened to me is insignificant. But reading these things tells me it is understandable to feel what i feel. My ex broke up with me for the 3rd time a little over a month ago. Things have been gradualy getting worse between us because for one, i love her dearly and want her back, and i kept trying to talk to her, trying to be friends, but then i would ruin it by letting my emotions take control and saying hurtful things. I know it hardened her. We were so in love, we where each others first loves, and lost our virginity to eachother. Just yesterday i found out she has a new boyfriend and he told me to leave her alone. I was furious and started speaking very violently. I am normaly a very gental person, and do almost anything to avoid conflict. But i am also extremely emotional. I just dont understand why this has happened, my story is so much like others here, i really hurt so much, and i honestly feel like dieing so often even though the way i speak would not warrant it. I know from the outside i may sound like i might be strong, and i definetly try to hide my depression from others, and i am trying to move on. I am so stuck though because I want things to work so bad. I want it to be different. We never fought that much and got along better with eachother than anyone else i have ever known. She said she fell out of love with me. I dont know how. I did everything i could possibly do, any time i knew i was doing something that upset her, i did my absolute best to change it, i did everything i could possibly do to make her happy. Why did this have to happen?? I hate it. It makes me feel terrible about the world. I would never treat anyone the way she has acted towards me, everytime i said hurtful things i apologized and told her that i dont mean it. I really dont want to feel this way but i feel as though it will never go away. I know i have not told much about my past relationship with her, but its because i just dont want to remember it. I dont know if my article makes much sense because I am only talking in emotion and what I am feeling right now, and leaving out many facts. But its because i feel tormented and wronged. I feel like my beliefs are shattered. I wanted to keep my first love, i felt nothing could be purer than it. I feel like what is true love then? I feel as though i know the answers to my questions and that i know that i will be okay, and that there are better things for me in the future, but at the same time i am so trapped in this state of mind and in these emotions, i want to be free, but at the same time i hold on. I feel like i know what i am doing and at the same time i feel like i am a moron. I almost feel like i am two different people. One is rational and the other is not, i suppose that is simply logic and emotions. I am so not good at this. I dont want to be that stupid, pathetic ex stalker boyfriend because i know i am not, but dealing with that guy last night made me feel like i am. I feel ashamed, and i feel weak. I feel ignorant for knowing the things i know and not being able to change how i feel or be able to accept what is. I dont know what to do, my feelings get in the way of almost everything, i know i am a fairly smart person, but i do terrible in school? I am great with people and do anything to help them grow, but i cannot myself. I can make friends with anyone, unless i have a more romantic interest in them, in those cases, i am terrible with girls. I can give advice, but i cant give it to myself. I feel angry, depressed, glad, and hopefull all at the same time. this is why i feel so tormented. People tell me that good things will come if i wait, and when i dont expect it, but i am always looking. I want to stop and behave normaly. What is wrong with me? Do i have some serious mental disorder? Please pray for me. I am only 21 and i feel like i should not be having these problems, I know i am unhealthy and i dont want to be, please give me your wisdom