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cleverme123

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Everything posted by cleverme123

  1. cleverme123
    Try leather or a little bit on the naughty side. Try costumes, heck try anything! Experimenting til you find what does get him off.
  2. cleverme123
    One it's very difficult to fix your marriage and even going to counseling will be difficult if you go with a negative attitude that it won't work. Two, bringing someone else into the situation whether long term friends or not will make things look really really bad as well. You can only make the marriage work if you are willing. Does your husband know you feel this way? And if not, don't you think you should? Maybe if he knew what was going on and that you wanted to try to spice things up a bit you all could work on it together. Find someone to watch the kids a night a week and start going on "dates" again. Find reasons to fall in love. Don't be out looking to find love with someone else until you sign on the dotted line saying you are divorced. It gets compicated and stated again, you can't fix your relationship if you are letting someone else in your situation. you have a long time together, and there are things there that no one else will ever have. Just give it some thought.
  3. cleverme123
    Put his stuff in boxes, you let him use that car your house will still not get fixed because once he has his stuff he is going to take it run. Don't be a fool. He is playing games with you because you are vulnerable, if the house sold to you needing repairs it will appeal to someone else also. Don't let him hold the cards because when you do he is going to just hurt you worse. Pack up his stuff sit it on your front porch and have a cop there when you know he is coming so there is no confrontation. they will do that for you.
  4. cleverme123
    Well, I just got the whole story with the two girls. The first one he slept with while he was seeing his ex girlfriend. Keep in mind she is married with 3 kids. She told him she was trying to help us out by helping us both figure out what the other was saying. So after exploding on both, the ex girlfriend showed up here but I ran her off. She called him at work today and said she is happy with her new boyfriend and if he is happy with me then she doesn't want to mess with me. However, the girl he works with who I thought was my friend has told very elaborate stories trying to break us up so she can get him back. Now according to him, he hasn't done anything wrong, the girl he works with is done. He has and will not cheat on me. And the relationship I thought existed with the ex was a lie that this other girl made up. He was flaming mad with me because I did it at his job, but I knew they would both be there. And when he calmed down he said he was sorry for saying he didn't want me or the baby and that he didn't care. But he did tell me I need to stop being so insecure. So he did not end it, but yes he did have me quite upset about the whole I am going to leave you thing. However, this is not the first time he has done that. It's like a security blanket for him. So I guess for now all is well.
  5. cleverme123
    Ok, I have posted some what about this before but now there is a whole new angle I have missed. I have been with this guy for a year now, got married 2 weeks ago, have a baby on the way... Well at first and when he is here, things seem like this picture perfect world. We get along great, rarely fight, etc. the problem is he works 2 almost full time jobs. I rarely see him. To make matters worse, I recently found out his ex works at the same store he does, and I had had my suspicious thinking on her for a while. Then, I find out this other girl he works with who was suppose to be a mutual friend, not only slept with him before we got together, but now has been playing him against me. To make matters worse, I confronted both of these chicks while they were working. The ex I told to back off because she knows how it feels to be sitting at home while her man is out cheating. She only called here every other night for 3 weeks crying her eyes out to my man. he allows it. She is very rude to begin with, and I was not being at all nasty I just told her to back off. She told me there was nothing going on, and she barely spoke to him. So I set her up, I told her he had said to me that he was leaving me to go back to her. Well, she decides to leave her job and come over to see whats going on. Little did she know I set her up and followed her to my house. I pulled up right behind her and she tried to avoid me, she then circles the block and rides back through several more times before going to a pay phone and calling. When I answered she hung up. the other chick had told my husband all this crap and had compounded everything together and everything I said to her she told him. Which was a really low thing to do. So I totally washed my hands of both of them. So now the whole problem. My husband was FURIOUS, told me he was filing for divorce didn't want to be with me, didn't care about the baby I was carrying, threatened to take him away. It goes on and on. I begged and pleaded for forgiveness and he was mad, but he told me I need to just forget about them and quit trying to trudge stuff up making our relationship bad. I can't help but wonder why he was so angry when he knows the one is a complete liar, and two why the ex would come here after I told her to back off, if something wasn't going on. So hubby and I talked and he seemed some what ok. Now he is back to really caring for me again. Is this just a time bomb, or should I be turning the other cheek to theses ex's.
  6. cleverme123
    I too was 21 and went through this. I couldn't imagine being with anyone but him etc. We had a child together and that made it worse. Then he sepereated from both of us and never wanted to see us again. I hashed it up and constantly tried to fix it, but he went further and further away. The truth is that some times loving someone means letting them go. If their heart isn't where yours is they can lie and decieve you as long as they want too. It hurts something awful, the pain is unbearable and I too went through the bouts of anger and depression. the sooner you can just let go, the sooner you will begin to see there is a world of possibility in front of you. Letting go means, remembering some good, taking some bad and learning a lesson so that the next time it doesn't feel that way. 21 is a confusing age as is, as you get older although I am not much older than you, you will start to see things more clearly. And guys take much longer to mature than females do. they also have different motives. Good luck.
  7. cleverme123
    Boy did that come at the right time, I was in need of some major spiritual up lifting
  8. cleverme123
    Sounds like he knew what he was doing all along. First of all I would tell him that he may not have the car and if it ain't in writing then he can't take it. Any possibility that you can sell the house too and move to some where where your comfortable. If not I would forget about him, because he sounds like a major loser. Try to make the best of things until you can go some where else.
  9. cleverme123
    You can get pregnant in the middle of a cycle. Could be birth control messing with your body. When you first get pregnant you get menstrual type cramps but no period. Usually sickness dizziness etc follow
  10. cleverme123
    Some people are selfish. They don't care who they hurt or why or how, they just seem to care more about themself then they do any one else. She is selfish and immature and the best thing you can do is move on. No sense in beating yourself up over someone elses problem. When she knows she no longer has you and can't play with your emotions, you will see a totally different side.
  11. cleverme123
    I seem to think that telling him you didn't want to be a booty call allowed you to stand up and tell him you aren't a door mat. If he cared for you he would call or try to fix the things he done to you. Once you are in a relationship and it was sorta serious it does take time to get over it. Rebound usually occurs immediately after a breakup and where the relationship seems perfect and nothing could possibly ruin it, it usually ends as quickly as it started. Then you move on willing to start a relationship. It seems he isn't over her and may not be for a while. I would not sit around and wait for him to come to his senses. You are pretty much telling him no matter what he does to you you'll sit around and wait for him. That is defiantly a bad thing. My suggestion would be give him one more call being very to the point with where you want things to go and how he makes you feel with being withdrawn. He may get angry, but some times you have to take that chance. It's the only way you may get to know the truth about how he feels for you.
  12. cleverme123
    Quite frankly if I was with someone who didn't respect my opinion cause "all women are crazy" I wouldn't be with him long. He obviously doesn't respect you very much either as he is trying to force you to have sex with him in the morning and does not respect the fact that you say no. Don't be surprised if you find him taking it further without your consent. BE careful.
  13. cleverme123
    I wonder if her parents are aware and you are right going to her himself would be a bad idea because she will go off. My suggestion would be got him to tell them he is worried about her and give the various reasons why. If they don't listen, then you know where some of the fault lies. If they do listen maybe they can help him and her go to counseling. If she feels that people are ganging up on her, that is when things will get ugly. Depression puts an ugly mask over reality. It is possible to make it work she has to go get the help first. I can't stress this enough.
  14. cleverme123
    95% of the women being abused are upscale, don't fit the part to say. I did my own web page on abuse and you are free to visit if you would like, maybe it will provide you with some more help link removed She will start telling you how awful it is but she will still have no intention of leaving. It's venting a few good moments with you and she returns to be tortured, then back again to justify herself. It's a pattern, you can fall into it as well.
  15. cleverme123
    Well, first of all I can tell you it has nothing to do with you. People in abusive relationships go back time and time again to get what they feel they "deserve". She puts up with the emotional and physical abuse because it became comfortable, she could much rather deal with someone beating her half senseless than she could with someone treating her with kindness and respect. It puts an emotional overload on someone that has been abused and the only way they can get out of dealing with love and caring is to go back to what they are use to abuse and pain. No matter what she says unless she goes to an organization like CASA or a battered womens group she will inevitably fall into the cycle. She is already gone, no matter what you do or say you can't bring her back. She ran because the feeling of love was too strong and she couldn't handle it. Take it from someone who has walked a mile in those shoes....It took me 2 years to get out and almost 6 more to get better before getting into a relationship. And even now, I still am careful because it's so easy to fall into these people that do this.
  16. cleverme123
    Yes my situation may differ from his a lot and no I am not disgruntled about the ex. I am way better off now than someone that is controlling. First off, post partum depression is a serious thing, if she can get help about nothing else that is serious. It can lead to homicidal thoughts and put her in danger of harming the baby. Secondly, every post he has made has talked about her in some way wanting to know where he is constantly, know what he's doing all the time. Talks about her saying she doesn't want to be with him then changing her mind. The girl isn't thinking, maybe it's because she is unstable or depressed or something. If you look at all the messages he is pretty much spelling out that she is trying to control him and until she can fully she won't take him back. Staying with someone for the sake of a child is certainly not always the "right thing to do". If she is more concerned about what he is doing and where he is going she is taking her attention off of taking care of that baby and putting it all on him. 20 or not, a child is responsibility and if you can't aren't ready to be a parent then you should choose not to engage in things that can produce a child. She obviously wasn't ready because she can't decide for herself if this baby is worth putting aside her childish games of seek and follow for the father, and making a decision to get help or have someone else get her help for the post partum. She can't even decide if she wants to be around him or not. She needs help and if she can't get professional help what makes you think he can rationalize with her about anything. The baby, visiting, fixing the relationship. You keep telling him to save it, do the right thing, there is hope; but until she sees she has a problem she will be unable to compromise. She sounds unstable on everything he has said about her.
  17. cleverme123
    Well there are a bunch of sites that you can find someone on, BUT; First, you will meet the ones interested in sex. Then, you will run into a bunch who will tell you anything you want to hear and then you go out and they never see you again. Possibly ones with wifes or girlfriend interested in playing around. You have to really make sure you know who it is that you are talking to. I myself had some really bad experiences on the net dating thing. You have to watch the site and see who it is your talking to in depth, I strongly suggest that you carry conversation on over a period of time before meeting or calling. If you would like to know more in depth about some things I experienced you can pm me. I don't want to post it in open. Finally, there are few that aren't all bad. I met my husband through the cupid junction and it compared a lot of things and stated we were 100% match and oddly enough we were, but it took a lot of time. He lived about 40 minutes away and we saw each other very frequently. There are plenty of head cases, some nice guys, some idiots, just depends on who you see. State what you want no "just in it for sex things" and you will screen out most of the bad ones.
  18. cleverme123
    If she ain't thinking reasonalby, and has post partum no amount of conversation with her will stick, she will turn it around and this little nice spell she is going through is just a test to see if he will keep putting up with it. I would stay back until she gets help. I have been in this situation only reversed. My kids father kept changing his mind, keeping tabs on me, etc. He later went nuts because he could no longer control his agner or hatred towards me (which was unjustified it was all stuff he had created like taking the kid away, not calling enough, not telling him where I was 24/7) any how he tried to kill me and is now in jail. Professional help first then try to reason. Otherwise, as I said before, a ticking time bomb.
  19. cleverme123
    First of all, you need to decide if you are going to make your marriage work or not. You can't just fall crazy in love with someone else for the sake of doing it. If you all decided to work past the infedelity, two wrongs don't make a right! It isn't fair to drag another person into this and tell her how you feel if you have no intention of leaving your wife. That is selfish on your behalf to someone you supposedly care about. It is also selfish to your wife, if she thinks your being faithful and your screwing around have the decency to tell her and end the relationship with her before dragging someone else into it.
  20. cleverme123
    She sounds emotionally abusive to you, she is manipulating you by moving out to get her way, and laughing when you beg her back. Let her go, let her find out how good she has it. Let her come around, and let her come to you. If she starts using the kid as a reason to manipulate you go to social services and they will provide you with a stable environment to exchange the child where the mother can not threaten or manipulate you. Don't ever put it past any one to with hold a kid as "punishment" for them not getting their way. I have a 7 year old step son whose mom tried to kid nap him, and a 2 year old that my ex husband kidnapped from me and with held until I did things his way. Now when we went to court it was a different story. Always watch your back and don't keep chasing her because once she knows she has you, its over. You are vulnerable to her abuse and twisted games. Not at all fair to you or your son. She has no right to control you and until she figures that out, she is a time bomb.
  21. cleverme123
    Well it sounds as though there may be a chance to work it out. Have you thought about counseling to see if maybe the rebound situation can be forgotten so to speak. If you aren't divorced there is still hope.
  22. cleverme123
    There is a clause on all leases that you can buy out the remainder of the lease. Whoever has the contract drawn up with you may be willing to make an agreement to let you move out if he is willing to sign or move the new girlfriend in and let her sign your half of the lease, then they can live together and you can move on. More so, if the relationship is over between you and him he is just seeing her out of spite to you, so the less you show emotion the better off you are. Even if he is entertaining her on your furniture, he is doing it to make you mad. He clearly has no respect for you and is trying to get on your hot buttons to make you flip out. Now should that happen and you threaten him, slap him (which I wouldn't blame you one bit) or harass his new girlfriend or him he can have you removed from the house by issuing a peace warrant against you. So if he is low enough to bring a new chick over probably would be low enough to do that too. Over all just points of advice, I would be working on that agreement though, you can get free legal advice from a lawyer that can get you out of the lease too.
  23. cleverme123
    I am 26 my husband is 37 and it works fine. I matured very fast and men need til they are 30 something to mature (sorry guys) . I don't see a problem with age however, doctors usually have strings attached or expect at very least you won't see much of him.
  24. cleverme123
    I doubt it no your cycle wouldn't stop and the odds are around 25%. Usually you get pregnant around middle of your cycle. But it isn't something I wouldn't play roulette with
  25. cleverme123
    It took me 4 pregnancy test to find out I was pregnant, not to discourage you or anything, but some times it can take a while. Rapid weight loss excess stress and worrying about not getting your period are all factors too.
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