cleverme123

Well here is the situation. I am 26, and my mother who hasn't really been a very good one, is up to her old tricks of trying to ruin my life yet again. The story goes like this, my mom has constantly tried to control and run my life for a insanely large amount of time. She blamed me and told me on several occasions that she does not love me but she is ok with my 3 other sisters. Recently, my dad had enough of her and left. I am so glad! I let her borrow a car that I had bought because she had to give my dad their car because she wanted to keep the house. Well, nothing was wrong with the car, until she wrecked it 3 times in 2 months. She didn't file a report, the girl that hit her had no insurance. The car was considered totaled by my insurance company but she refused to give a statement because she didn't want to be out of a car. She uses the car to call constantly saying tons of things are wrong. My husband is a mechanic. On top of that I am 6 months pregnant and she has told me on several occasions that I should have an abortion, because she doesn't think I need any more kids. I have 2 currently. She called my husband names, which is why we never told her we got married. She also demands I bring the grand kids up 2 hours to see her on Christmas. I told her I had plans and what they were, she had two offers from my dad and my ex-husband to come down and refused. Then I find out my one sister is bringing her down here to my other sister who lives 7 miles away and they told me I am expected to show up so that the kids can open their presents in front of her. So I ask why can't you come here? She told me it was too far out of the way. On top of that she tried to file grandparents rights and has tried to have my kid taken away, I guess she figured she screwed me up and she can fix it by raising my daughter! NO CHANCE. SO>>>>>>here is what I am planning on doing. I am first taking my car away from her and letting the insurance total it out. After that is gone, I am planning on having no contact with her period. I figure if she can't try to see me but can see everyone else why should I bother. Is it a good idea, to cut all ties with a mother that acts like this??

Trust is, having a relationship where you can communicate and talk openly with out fear of recourse for something you say. Not sitting home every night worrying where someone is because they aren't with you. And knowing that when someone is really really mad at you they may go away for a while but they will come back, say their sorry, and they haven't been with any one else. It's also knowing you can put a supermodel in front of their face and know they may read the menu but they won't be ordering from it cause their with you.

Introducing other people into your marriage always causes problems. If someone does it more than once and knows they can get away with it they will continually do it. Sounds to me like she is addicted to sex, or is attention starved to the point that she seeks for something she feels she can not get from you. Maybe she is telling wild stories to the other men and they are feeling sorry for her and preying on vulnerability. I would suggest you take her to a counselor and put the cards on the table. If you do not stop this will happen.... Give her reasonable time to decide what she wants, and if she is simply looking for the bigger better deal, it will become clear. Downfall to this is that some point she will realize that there is no such thing and fall completely on her face and come begging to you asking for forgiveness, then it's a matter of will she change and be faithful or not.

no my thought was maybe that is how she took it. That you wanted something she had. And maybe their relationship is beyond repair so she is trying to hold on by lashing out.

Distance makes it easy for someone to find the time to give them self to someone else. I hate to be the one to tell you but he has no respect for you or your feelings and if he did he would not have drug you into a relationship knowing there was someone else. Me personally, I would tell him look, I know about the other woman she called and told me. I need to be with someone that can commit to me and mean it. The crying is a guilt trip to lead you back in. The phone calls are an antic to drag you along and make sure your not giving up on him. He has no intention of leaving this woman yet I am betting he will tell you that the feelings are gone and complications keep him there. You can't love two people at once. I have been in your shoes and if you let him he will keep walking all over you. Put your foot down tell him to lose your number and when and if he loses the other women and decides to get serious maybe you will be there and maybe you won't. I don't have tolerance for cheaters, you shouldn't either.

Depends on what issues and topics your covering, if you are having intimate conversations. If you are saying things you would fantasize about doing if you met. Really touchy issues to some.

I agree with both of you, and yes I am prepared to have these babies also. I went to his job last night and talked to his boss and told him that she has come back there and harassed both him and I while she is not working and mentioned some other things she has been doing. She was written up and if she does it again and does not stay away from him she will be fired. However, if he initiates it, he will be fired. They were both told it's unprofessional and inappropriate and that it stops now. Maybe he needed to hear it from someone else! He did however, say he was sorry for all this mess that he shouldn't have played games with her knowing he had slept with her before. He said she took it all out of context and that was very wrong. He promised he would stop and I told him if I see text messages, emails, or phone calls from her, I walk. I am not going to take this kind of behavior because if I let him get away with it, it's going to keep happening.

Well I went for the juggler so to speak. And what happened floored me even more! I ask him why he likes the attention from her so much and I thought back to the ex girlfriend before this who still gives him every wink of attention. There is a huge pattern that I see!!! First, he goes out with seemingly needy people. People that have a void in their life some where in relationships. Second I am not like that at all!!!! I am very strong willed and feel he is neglecting the fact that she is throwing herself at his shoes. I do think he likes the attention; in fact I know it! When his other ex and I fought, it fueled him but he told me that if I didn't let her alone I would have to go, since no one tells him who he can and can't talk to! He just about did the same thing when I confronted him about her. He has been sneaking off on cigarette breaks and having conversation still with her. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WORK!!! I already went to his and her manager and he and her are both pending being fired if they can't get their act together and quit talking about their personal live. To make matters even worse, the other ex (now two in the same place he works at) works there too. I hate to say it but maybe an ultimatum will tell him I am not a door mat. I am six months pregnant also, with twins. So I would have thought that would have put things in perspective.

Well I have posted on this some what before, but here goes the update. The girl that works with my husband that had slept with him before we got together it now turning a trife bit psycho. To recap two weeks ago she tried to break him and I up by talking dirty to him, and lying to me and then some other things with him. So there was a huge blow up and he and her both were told they are not to talk about personal stuff no text messages at work no nothing. Well I thought it was a done deal they would just stay away. Now she is finding reasons to talk to him (bumming cigarettes) saying sorry for what happened, etc... The thing is, he is playing it up saying she is going to get herself fired by obsessing over him. And believe me this chick is way beyond obsessed with him. She tries to talk to him for anything, keeps playing a certain song, goes out to smoke with him. I keep asking why in the heck he is playing along and talking back, told him to just cut the ties, and he ain't budging. He even told me to just laugh off the fact she would do almost anything to have him. And it's a huge thing at his job that he slept with her, it's embarrassing for me when I go there. Is it possible he likes the attention he is getting from the whole thing???

Sounds like you are a bit afraid to commit to him. Maybe with the talk of marriage its scaring you a bit. If there is truly nothing wrong I see no point in ending it. Maybe just take a break from talking marriage for a while and tell him how you feel.

Is it possible he is gay, but in the same aspect does not want to end it with you?

Well I knew I was pregnant, but had this really awful backache yesterday. (I am 6 months pregnant) well the doctor has been thinking something really weird has been up cause baby has been losing and gaining weight. Well it turns out that there are 2 babies!!!! One was in front of the placenta and the other behind, they were flipping sides so they could only ever see ne at a time on the sono. Not to mention they are both in the exact same position. So when they did a sono from both sides yesterday from tummy and back, they saw them both. Well my husband just about died, and he is kinda really acting nervous/scared right now. Any ideas how I can calm him down??? And how in the world do you deal with just finding out after thinking you only had one baby to begin with.

I see no good in trying to hold on to a relationship with this girl. She obviously has guilt on her conscious, maybe she was cheating on you and that is why the hostility and sadness. Maybe its a guilt thing. All I know is if you constantly continue to beat yourself up over this you will find yourself more and more confused. Just keep the kid out of the middle, and I wouldn't suggest group dates with her because that is making the situation worse.

Most people find it disgusting cause they ain't tried it, and if they have....it usually was not a good thing...

She left you and there for that opens the door to you being able to see other people. Not that I would run to her and tell her that. But I would not sit around and wait for her to make up her mind. She has no intention of getting help and a kid is not a reason to stay together. You can have a parent to parent relationship with her, but honestly I don't fore see a relationship working. And I sure wouldn't tell her you started to date. Just let it all play out.

I found a good guy....Just had to search high low and under a few things to find him But his ex's feel the same as they all would love to have him back. As for them, so not going to happen.

Thank you, that sure needed to be said.

Nope like I said I am thick, broad shoulders and what not and my husband is skinny and cut. It's a guys preference, I have been with skinny guys that like big girls.

It can be enjoyable if one, you don't rush right into it. You have to use alot of lubricant. And you have someone who knows what they are doing. If she is reluctant start out slowly with using your fingers then work her up gradually. If done right it can be very erotic. And women are always reluctant about this subject, they seem to think guys are just going to pound them. If you slow things down maybe you won't scare her to death.

All men aren't like that, or at least I hope. But I can tell you even being married there are a few comments my husband makes that gets under my skin and some men don't have guilt what so ever. It just becomes more obvious when you are single because when your in a relationship you get the rosey colored glasses that make all ok. I too believe a good bit of men are dogs and at some point they won't be able to contain their urges. When I was single I dated a guy that had a wife! His excuse was that they were really trying to separate yet when he broke up with me it was because they were getting back together! Just be careful ask lots of questions and you will find a good one. Just don't assume they are cheating, running around and getting other women pregnant, until you see it with your own eyes.

usually the guys that have 6 packs have an ego the size of kansas that go with them. Think that they can get any one any time. That is what is unattractive to me.

This may be kinda out there. But it really depends on the guy. Some guys like thick and some thin. Just depends on what they like.

I have never been rail skinny, I ain't grossly over weight, and I ain't been on a Mcdonalds diet for several years. I am thick and that is the way it is. Personally if a guy don't like me and my body type because I don't run 4 miles every day, that is his problem and not mine. They all want a chick that isn't high maintenance, but then the issue comes up.....Isn't working in a gym 4 times a week high maintenance? I can say this, I excercise, eat right, and I do run and walk, but genetics are genetics and I will never be a size 6. And I am pretty toned for a thick chick so my weight will be higher because muscle weighs more than fat. And by the way I am big and my husband is the complete opposite

Two wrongs don't make a right. if she continues to cheat and be unfaithful then I would send her a serious message, him or me. Start the process of legal seperation and see if there is a chance she may snap out of it. The unfaithfulness will continue as long as you allow her to walk all over you. I would also tell her she needs to leave the house since she can't decide who she loves. Clearly, if she loved you she couldn't tell someone else she loved them too. And it's obvious she has no intention of ending it with him. I would tell her to start packing, and stick to my guns. Kids aren't a reason to stay together, not when there are too many different people they may know about her being with.

Marbles no way safe they can get "lost" not to be funny. Orgasm, when your legs twitch and your body comes off the bed, you know.