jaiva

I agree. You should tell him that you had a bad break up but you don't have to give him great detail. You just need to tell him enough so that he won't feel that you're not interested in him but that you are trying to go slow so you can get your head together prepare you mind for another relationship, but you'd still like to get to know him. If he doesn't understand that you need to take things slowly than he doesn't deserve you. Hope I helped! Jaiva

People make mistakes. Just don't continue to make the same mistake. So don't continue to lie to him. When he asks you not to drink. Make a compromise. Tell him that you won't drink more than 2 drinks or something so you won't be setting yourself up for failure. Hope I helped. Jaiva

I agree with the others. You owe it to your husband to tell him that you cheated on him. Yes, it will hurt him but he should know. A relationship with secrets can't succeed because the person with the secrets will be paranoid about their significant other finding out the secret and the relationship will be run into the ground. Don't abort the child. You're pregnant for a reason, especially since you were told you couldn't have children and now SURPRISE! That means that this child has a purpose in life. Hope I've helped. Jaiva

Well we've tried a break. He didn't like it because he said he missed me too much and he feels that breaks end in break ups. And it didn't work. He's read this and he says that he's going to just do what I want him to do for a moment of peace and he'll just fake being happy so that he'll have a moment of peace. And I don't think it will work. Because up until about 3 weeks ago I've tried to do everything to make him happy and it didn't work. I'll put up another post reply to this post to update and get more help or tell a happy ending or whatever. (I'm trying to be optimistic.) Jaiva I also want to thank you all for reading it and sharing how you feel. Thanks

This is going to be quite long so I'd like to thank everyone who attempts to read it and help me. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 1yr and 5 months. We started off our relationship as friends and then things got deeper. We used to be fine. We dated throughout our senior year and we were happy, almost inseperable and we fought really hard to be in a relationship. (A lot of people had a problem w/ us dating because he was the ex of my friend but they didn't know the situation in the first place. And I had my mentor and my mom telling me not to be friends with him for some reason which I don't know.) He's helped me to deal with my horrible past at a time in my life when I felt like I was done with the world and everything in it. (I was molested by family members many times as a young girl. I buried it until Junior year in high school. He helped me to cope and understand that it wasn't my fault and he helped me to talk about it which was something I couldn't do before he helped me.) He always listened when I had some horrible story to tell him about how my mom treated me. (She called her self putting me on bread and water for a punishment because she didn't like my attitude. She said it was the only thing she could do to me because the last time she tried to give me a whooping/spankin/beat down whatever you choose to call it I fought back and ran away because she was trying to beat me for something I did not do. She's also banned me from phone calls and seeing my baby bro.) Well now that we are in college things have changed for the worse. I'll just start a list. 1. He has more female friends than male friends. I'd say it's a 1 to 8 ratio. I didn't/don't have a problem with that really. But my problem is with these particular 2 female friends. One of them is really annoying and she's a big flirt. One time he and I were in her room and she grabbed his butt while I was sitting there and then tried to apologize. I'm sorry I don't think you can accidentally grab someone's butt. I think the other girl is bad news. From what I hear from the people she went to High School with she is a conniving s l u t thief and liar who uses guys for their money. My bf doesn't have a lot of money but he has a lot more than others. She is also very dirty looking. She doesn't wash her coat or this scarf that she wears on her head practically everyday. Well I told him how I felt about those people and I said that I'd wish that he didn't continue to be friends with them. That turned out not to be a good idea because we pretty much had a 2 week argument over these females. Then he said he'd give them up because I asked him to and then everytime we'd have a disagreement he'd say I think I gave up enough or I've given you what you want. And that hurt really badly. So I told him I didn't care about his friendships with those girls, even though it really bothers me. I don't want him to be able to throw something in my face like that. He also told me that he felt he couldn't have any friends or a social life. Another thing about those girls is that when we're around them he acts totally different. He says that he does that because he likes to dance and so do those girls and he feeds off of their confidence which makes him act more cocky but I think that is pure bs. It seems like he pushes me aside when we're around those girls and I really don't like it. He told me to get to know the s l u t however I don't want to. I've been trying to be nice to her and I talk to her when I see her but she doesn't really try to talk to me. He said that I wasn't trying hard enough. BS. I am trying very hard because I don't trust her in the first place so just talking to her is hard enough for me. He says that he sees some good in her because she's opened up to him and told him her life story or whatever and he wants to help her. I'm worried that he'll start to like her because that's what happened with us. I told him my life story and we got closer and closer and now were a couple. I don't want him to leave me. 2. He is/was having a commitment issue. This is also connected to the girls. He is worried that 20 years from now we'll break up and he'll be hurt and he'll think that all the sacrifices he made now would be a waste becasue the relationship didn't last. I feel that we should let 20 yrs from now be 20 yrs from now. 3. This is my issue. I don't want to share him. I feel that all of my life I've had to share my room and my bed to strangers. My mother has taken in other peoples children from our church twice. I never complained. I always shared and was nice. Now I have something special to me and I don't want to share. I want to keep him all to myself. I want everyone else to get their own someone special and leave mine to me and me only. 4. He doesn't spend time with me anymore. When we first got to college we used to do homework together and take naps in the middle of everyday. Now he's too busy for me. And when we do get together those chicks are there, like when we go to parties, and/or he's to tired to spend time with me. He said that things were like that when we first got here because we didn't know anybody and he thought that the whole point of the college experience was to meet new people and have new experiences. He said that he liked the time that we spent together in the beginning but we weren't doing anything. He said that he felt idle. Well I felt that we were doing a lot. We talked about everything and and anything. When we first started dating we talked 24/7 literally and now when we get on the phone he never has anything to say to me. I feel that he's drifting away from me and I don't like it. 5. We argue/disagree/fight very often. This is something we never did before we got to college. We had always been able to work things out and compromise but now that we're here there seems to be a lot of fighting and agitation between the two of us and I can't deal with that. It hurts me when he's upset with me and when we don't get along. I think the main thing is I'm afraid of losing him and he's the only person that I truly trust with my life, my heart and my mind. I've been mislead many times by people and I only begin to trust people again when he and I really became friends and I feel that if this doesn't work I'll give up on trusting people again. I think that's all. I apologize for it being so long and for any typos that I may have missed. Please respond if possible. Jaiva

One very good tip i can give you is NEVER, EVER LIE!!!! Don't boost your skills or accomplishments on paper if you've never actually accomplished those things or acquired those skills. The company/boss will always find out and you can be fired for that. Hope I've helped! Jaiva

I never said I was an OB/GYN I've never studied it I've only learned from other's mistakes/experiences. You might know more that I do because you've been around a lot longer than I have. I've been known to be wrong about a thing or too. That just means that I have to do more research in order to increase my knowledge of pregnancy and women's health. Jaiva

You could kiss him to see how he kisses and if it isn't the way you like tell him you'd like to try a different style of kissin and tell him to let you lead. Hope I helped! Jaiva

What were the results of the test? Jaiva

That's not true. I've known people who've had what appeared to be normal periods and then later found out they were pregnant throughout that time. But you are normally ovulating a day or two before you have your period, which is the time where you'll get pregnant. Hope I helped! Jaiva

Everyone says that but that's not true. You'll only know if you had an orgasm if you actually know what an orgasm is. All you'll know is that you has rhythmic vibrations throughout your body but you wouldn't know what to call it. When I had my first experience I didn't know that it was an orgasm until I was in one of my classes and my teacher told one of the other girls what an orgasm felt like. Hope I helped. Jaiva

You should sit down and tell her that what you need to say to her is not meant to hurt her but to inform her of what she is doing to you and your life. Tell her that you can't be friends with a person who doesn't want you to talk to other people, because life is about networking (meeting new people) and you have to know people to move ahead in life. Tell her that if she continues to be jealous when you talk to other people then you can't be friends with her. And you'll have to give her some time to take it in and put it to work. Hope I helped. Jaiva

I agree. Your GF is a grown woman and can do whatever she wants. She allows her parents to rule her life the way they do. I'm not saying give her an ultimatum but tell her that you need her to take charge of her own life. Hope I helped! Jaiva

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. It'll be a year July 5th. I love him so much and now I think I'm going to lose him. I plan on going to college in either IN or IL but he's going to college in Mass. I don't want us to separate but I don't want to stop him from acheiving his goals or cause him to be in debt after college. He'll have free tuition for all four years if he goes to school in Mass. All I can do is cherish the time we have together now right? I don't know. I'll deal with it later. Jaiva

In every relationship there are disagreements, arguments and even sometimes fights, but what strengthens the relationship is when the people are able to reconcile their differences and forgive each other. It is your decision on whether you want to forgive her but how can someone forgive you, if you can't forgive others? Hope I helped! Jaiva

Well, about 2 months ago in my morality class, I learned that children that age learn whether to trust or distrust their parents. If they don't have a consistent, predictable life style they will began to distrust their parents. I'll go to school today and see what other info I can get for you. Hope I helped! Jaiva

First of all 3 years is a long time. You should go to AA or rehab. Alcohol causes you rliver to deteriorate and that is a necessary organ. Yes, like you said you used alcohol to take away truth. Most addictions people have were caused by a void in their life, something they were missing and decided to fill with either drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. So not only should you get some kind of alcoholic addictive help but try to find out what void you were trying to fill and fill it with positive things. Hope I helped! Jaiva

If it is that important and you can't respect her wishes than you should break up with her because it's better to respect a monogamous relationship than to cheat on her. Hope I helped! Jaiva

I think that since she is already going to have the baby you can only plan to be the best father that you can be. Not every child can have perfect parents who are in a perfect relationship. You don't have to be in a relationship with her in order to raise a child. As of right now you have to worry about the well being of the child, your child. Hope I helped! Jaiva

I believe that you only tried to make a change so that you could get him back. I think that you need to stay away from him as much as possible. Don't try to ask if there will ever be a relationship with the two of you again because it will only drive him away more. Continue to better yourself but make sure that your motives are right. you dont' have to tell him to stop giving you contact but it would be better for you if you didn't really read the emails because you won't try to have contact or a relationship if you aren't constantly talking with him. If you are meant to be you will be together when you aren't expecting to be together. Hope I helped! Jaiva

Threesomes whether mfm or fmf cause trouble within a relationship. Especially if the relatinship is already suffering or not doing so well. A threesome will cause someone to be jealous or envious and it might lead to cheating. If she doesn't want to do that then don't pressure her. If it is that serious for you and you don't think you could live with out it than find a way to work it out with your girlfriend. Hope I helped! Jaiva

It's a nice idea and it's nice that you want to help a friend but I think it would be best to stay out of his love life and hers. She just might not want him because he was to dependent or she felt smothered. You also have to think about how the girl will feel. He'll get over her eventually and move on with his life. Hope I helped! Jaiva

I don't know, for most men that do this I'd say they were getting sex from someone else but I can't say that in this particular situation b/c that's not what I feel is going on. Was he usually very into sex? Because if he's changed he might be getting it from somewhere else but i wouldn't say go accusing him of it until you get some serious proof. Hope I helped! Jaiva

Love is a very strong emotion that can sometimes be confused with infatuation or lust. When a person is in love they think of the well-being of that person before they think of themselves. They don't want that person to feel any hurt or pains and wish they could remove all of the past hurts or pains. Love is very confusing. Once you are deeply in love with someone it takes a long time to get over it. Hope I helped! Jaiva

I'd say the only think you can do is try to distract yourself from thinking about sex or girls. Play games, study hard, whatever it takes. Hope I helped! Jaiva