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Lightingbird

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Everything posted by Lightingbird

  1. Lightingbird
    The actions that you moved on that night has cost you a great deal. Your mistake will haunt you for quite some time. You need to realize that from your ex-girlfriends eyes, it would be quite embarrassing on her as a woman to date you again. There is no doubt that you loved her. But you made a very bad mistake. Its extremely easy to mess up or run from a relationship, but hard to keep it. She still loves and cares for you but is very hurt from your actions. It might be best to remain friends for now if you can. Apologize to both and never do this again to any woman. A Strong and respected man will never cheat. Good luck to you.
  2. Lightingbird
    You need to realize that your parents love you. But they are responsible for raising you. In that, there will be some things that they will do for your best interest. You may not always like these actions but they will do them for you out of there personal experience. Now of course, parents are not always right with the decisions that they make. But they do love you. Never think that. Please do your best to look at the whole picture in this. You said yourself that you are losing control of yourself. In your parents eyes, they may feel the same so they may be going to higher means to make sure that you are ok. They do love you, never think they don't.
  3. Lightingbird
    Anger is a very dangerous thing. Realize that anger has no benefits. You will not get a better reaction, fearful actions, a job, more money, a situation resolved quickly and immediately in your favor. Anger will destroy your life. You will end up in jail, lose relationships, get hurt, hurt others, destroy your personal belongings or others property. A calm and relaxed person will get to many heights and much more respect. Next time you feel anger or rage setting in try counting to 100 slowly. Commit to not act until you get to 100 or you completely calmed down. Consider you possible reactions to your anger. Are they good? Will they benefit you? If you feel that you are losing control, quickly get away. Don't let the situation control you. In the end it will be a challenge but you must rethink and train your mind to calm down, relax and handle things more carefully. Surely you will do fine. Good luck to you.
  4. Lightingbird
    Getting Closure to move on in your life will be difficult. To get to the absolution of ending of a relationship may never come. But most people seek it so that they can turn a shoulder to the bad past and move forward. Sending that letter to him may give you a brief release of letting him know your feelings and wonderment of the last course of the relationship. But it will also allow more pain and grief from the response that he may give you. Accept this... Your relationship did not work out. Think of all the faults that you can admit that you contributed. Work to improve on them for your next relationship. Start looking at tomorrow; don't worry about what happened that was beyond your control. You did your best and that will pay off when you meet that best fit person for you. Next, release him from you completely. Get rid of anything that will remind you of him. Don't allow for any painful thoughts to resurface. You may never get closure from him, but you can give yourself closure by taking control of your life and moving forward. The road will be hard but you can achieve it. Good luck to you.
  5. Lightingbird
    The problem that the two of you are having is communication. You both need to seek out counseling. You need to get your communicaton skill sets up and running. Mention a counseler, find one, set a date and tell him that you both are going. Don't wait on this. Lack of communication can destroy a marriage overnight. Another tactic would be to write a letter, detailing all of your views and problems, photo copy it and while hes asleep post it all over your home. But either please seek out marriage counseling.
  6. Lightingbird
    You might wanna contact the social services department in your area and find out the status of your friend. That way you won't be completely in the dark. But I'm sure things will work out for the best for your friend.
  7. Lightingbird
    Did you use protection? How certain are you that you will never do this again? If you didn't use protection you should tell him. He deserves to know at least so that he can get himself checked out. If you are serious about this relationship, don't repeat what you did but also, don't marry him. You don't have loyality to this man and that is something that is heavily required in a healthy marriage.
  8. Lightingbird
    Firstly, a woman can lose interest in sex if you are taking to long with her in bed. Remember sex is best when it is equally enjoyable between two people. With that in mind, alot of things can come into play when considering reasons why a woman can lose interest in sex. Its not always another person involved. But eventually that can happen. Bestly, it would be a good move to change you pattern in this relationship and restarting the dating process with her. To rekindle your love and desire with this woman. Set down a time to sit and talk to this woman to see you can come to a resolution to this problem. Listening is the key not barking demands or how you feel. Learn the problem, address it kindly and try to repair it. Six years is a long time for a investment to fall into the winds. Treat it as gold and make a good effort to maintain it. I'm sure you will make the right moves and everything will work out for you. Good luck to you.
  9. Lightingbird
    Sex is a very powerful aspect of a relationship. To ignore any oddities or unusual behavior would be foolish. Have a sit down with your husband and discuss your concern with this matter. Stress to him that you are very bothered by the sudden change. Make sure you catch him at a time when he is not busy or tired. It might be best to arrange a time. During this converstation it is very important that you do not be threatening to him in any way. Let him feel relaxed and give in a open discuss feeling with no possible feelings of attacks for speaking his mind. Does your husband have any other odd behavior? Does hes seem more tired overall? Has his attitude towards your marriage changed in any way? Ask yourself these questions and be honest. Remember before looking at the seemingly obvious look for other possiblities as well. Make sure you discuss them with him as soon as possible and take the urgent steps to keep your marriage healthy. Good luck to you.
  10. Lightingbird
    Open your narrow eyes, to the Broad world. Everything that you mentioned has been going on in this world since man has been on it. There has always been war, hurt, disease, murders, senseless acts or unmoral actions. God is present but only the individual can choose to accept him. A gift of life is a gift of choice. Only man can deny the lord, he will not force himself unto you. That is his/her choice. But as Christians, it is our job to appeal to the masses and help others and bring others closer to god. Not the government or any other man based system of control. As far as tragedy, we have seen some in our short time on this earth but death and despair has happened for thousands of years. Look at the World War 2 and the holocaust, World War 1, the Vietnam War, slavery, and many endless others. The media makes their money by selling stories for commercial spots. This is how they operate, make a profit, and pay their employee's. God is waiting for you... Just talk to him.
  11. Lightingbird
    Moving around following your heart can be foolish at best. As you face this decision, think of your current situation and look at the possible outcomes of moving based on your emotions. Please slow down and think about your current job, new friends you have made, and any obligations that you have made where you currently live. Move for the greater good, weigh your options and make that decision. But don't act out of haste. If you do decide to move, make the last days you have count, talk to your current partner and make a great effort to work it out. I'm sure everything will work out for you. Good luck to you.
  12. Lightingbird
    Your imagination is a powerful thing. Firstly, it is very important you release your fears to her and let her know how you feel. In a relationship you have to be able to accept sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. Your girlfriend needs to reevaluate her priorities about you and this "friend" of hers. Your feelings should come first and to only feel what you fear would be natural. Advise her again of your feelings about this man and stay firm on your words. If she refuses and/or nothing changes then perhaps you should reevaluate your relationship. You don't always need to prove that a partner is cheating. Good luck to you.
  13. Lightingbird
    The hurt that you are experiencing can be very painful, resentful, and anger driven. The first thing that you need to accept is that the pain will not go away overnight. Understand you may never fully understand what happened. Try not to haunt yourself wondering about the reasoning. Also gain strength in knowing that for him to completely not contact you. His feelings for you are so strong that perhaps he could not handle talking to you or simply being around you. He does not choose to deal with him possible mistake. Have a release session. Sit down and write down all of your bad memories and experience with him and then do the good. When you are finished, read aloud each event. Now write down everything, this is for your benefit. Afterwards, throw the paper away and yell out, "I commit myself to moving on with my life, I will not live in the past!" Stick to your new commitment and whenever thoughts of your past relationship arise, don't let them dominate your thoughts. Focus on other events and start a new hobby, workout routine, or lean on your friends and family more. The road will be hard. But you will make it.
  14. Lightingbird
    Well put Gerhard!
  15. Lightingbird
    The first step is to let the past sleep... That would be to leave it in the past. Easy right? Of course not... You need to sit down and write out all of your past experiences that happened to you. Reflect on them and think of how you felt. When you are finished: Stand up. Say to yourself, "I will not live in the past anymore". Ball up the paper that you wrote on and throw it away. And commit that you will never think of the negative past or reflect on them again for anything. This is just a small exercise that can help you develop some self discipline to leave this in your past. What happened to you as a child never can be changed. It will never have another ending or outcome. You were a child and nothing you can do or think will ever affect your young life. So take power of your life now. Accept what has happened to you, learn from it and never again let it plague you. It will always hurt you but you can control when. Good luck and don't give up.
  16. Lightingbird
    When your love one changes feelings overnight, it usually took longer. Your love for this woman is strong and you have a good history with her. So fight for your love. Talk to her and find out what has happened to her feelings. Be advised, women usually brace themselves much sooner then men so that they can be more prepared for the emotion change. In other words her change of heart did occur as quickly as it seemed. Talk to her calmly and warmly and discuss all the positive points of your relationship. Respect her feelings in this conversation and pick up on things to fix and work on. But don't act hastily and make a bad choice. Relax and regroup and learn from all of this. Good luck to you.
  17. Lightingbird
    The circle of pain that you are dealing with currently is from learned behavior. The only way to start a new path from that is by a detailed plan and complete support by each partner. It is good that both of you are in some sort of marriage counseling. But things will not change over night. You should take your time to listen and learn from your therapist. The best way for her to see that you have changed is for you to demonstrate a "new" you. No, do no act or put up a temporary new outlook. If she says that she feels controlled by you then in fact you are making her feel that way regardless of how much you feel that you are not. Each day you should sit down in person and write down five (5) things that really have bothered you in the past. Make a rule to let the person speak until he/she is done and not to argue. This is for releasing and starting the healing process by vented, nothing more. This works best with a counsel, minister, family member or good friend present. This won't be easy but in order to heal no matter what you decide to do the past demons need to be put to sleep. Act passionate about rebuilding your marriage and put it first in your life. And your lives will change. Good luck to you both.
  18. Lightingbird
    It appears that you are quite the thinking person and that you care about your situation including your wife. A rare thing indeed. Since you would like to make the right decision. It would only be fair and wise for both of you to seek out a counsler. This could help you figure out what is really bothering you. It may also help your wife cope better with this whole situation. Seek out a counsler and make the right decision. Good luck to you.
  19. Lightingbird
    In your crisis you need to adjust to focusing on your woman. Of course, you have already begun that in your actions and words. You are doing the best thing for her now by making yourself available for her. Continue doing that for her and checking on her but don't take anything personal if she does not respond or realign herself with you anytime soon. Things will soon change and I am sure it will all work out. Approach her with the bible and show her that the lord has not left her and that she will get through this loss. Good luck to you.
  20. Lightingbird
    I have to agree with GermanAngel
  21. Lightingbird
    Trust should be a stepping stone for all other things. If he has lied to you about money, you need to realize that there could be great risk of him doing that to you again. Discuss this very firmly with him. Tell him how you feel, your conditions if it happens again, and leave it alone. Don't plague him with the subject once you get to a resolution together. As far as the harshness, let no one mislead, hurt or abuse you. So you reacted well. Make the right decision. Good luck to you.
  22. Lightingbird
    To may this work a decision must be made. Either you are going to have to stop taking pictures or your mate is going to accept that you are photographing yourself. Decide what is more important to you, discuss this with your mate, and come to a conclusion. You will not always get everything you desire in a relationship. That is called sacrifice. As an adult that is something that you will have to do in life to make it more fulfilling. I'm sure you will make the right decision. Good luck to you.
  23. Lightingbird
    Her stick of control is long but you can still step into the arena. Talk to her and tell her that you feel that she is not being loyal to you. Watch and listen to her reaction. Does she get overly upset? Does she get defensive? Either way it might be time for you to bring upon her a surprise visit on the next Friday. But be careful to not let her see you. Watch her the whole night and see exactly what she is doing. If she is doing nothing then you need to constantly reassure yourself that it is you that is afraid of the idea that she may cheat. Good luck to you.
  24. Lightingbird
    I have to agree with sisterlynch. You need to leave this woman alone. At least for now. You are only going to hurting yourself as she moves on in her life and you tag alone watching.
  25. Lightingbird
    Speaking on God is a very serious thing You were not created to have no purpose in life. God loves us as he loves his son Jesus. As a believer in the lord you should exercise acting as Jesus did in his life on earth. Love yourself and others endlessly. You maybe single; you may have been through some hard times. But remember when things happen its your decisions that bring out negative and positive outcomes. Use them as experience and gain wisdom! Please don't give up. At your age you have a great sum of great knowledge to use and help other with in life. Next time you grace down the path of love try to step out of your normal patterns of reactions and ways you carry yourself. Think back on your past experience. Make a positive decision and please don't give up. Good luck to you.
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