EyeofDTiger75

I just stubbled upon this and had to respond. I am the "shy, nice guy". I was the first born and mostly was raised by my mother as my father wanted nothing to do with me. My father and I fought all the time and he favored my younger sister over me and blamed me for all the family problems. I know my shyness comes from this upbringing and am trying hard to overcome it, but its very difficult. Also in my early teenage years when I did put everythign on the line to a younge girl, I was rejejected or laughed at, so that kind of added to it, and I didn't have a "fatherly figure" to go to for advice. The only time I am shy is around new people and mostly in One-on-One situation with females. I dont know if any of this helps but it might bring a little insight into my shyness.

Well guys I screwed up and i need advice on tryingto fix things. My gf and I have been dating now for a year and a half. We both have issues in our relationship. Well the past month she has been very distant from me. Not having time for me and canceling some of our plans. And that has upset me. Now she is a very strong person emotionally. I show my feelings on my sleeve. She has triplet 6 year olds and an ex husband. Well here lately the ex's work schedule has caused us to not be able to spend that much time together and it has been taking a tole cause we have been fighting alot. I have longed for the attention I got and the feels I received just a few months ago. So, I did somethign stupid. I told a lie to make her jelious and to test her to see if she would get paniced or get jelious. Well she saw right threw them. I had told her my sister sawe her and the boys and the ex atthe fair 2 weks ago. ( I knew the ex was going btw). I wanted to see if she would start to defend anything. Well she didnt and passed as far as I was concerned. Well Saturday she needed to talk to my sister so I gave her the number and she called her and while the conversation was going on she asked her why she didnt say hi at the fair, and of course my sister said she wasnt there. She got very upset with me. We had plans for dinner and she met me there just to tell me she need space and time to think about our relationship cause she was planning to marry someone she didnt trust. I told her she was blowing everythig ou of proportion and that I was sorry if they hurt her. I asked her point blank Sunday if we were still a couple and she said "Yes, for now, just give me some time and space to think". She still kisses me huggs me when I see her and tells me she loves me too when I say I love you. I know she has ALOT going on in her family life that takes alot of her time and stress her out. She hasnt used the cute pet names of "baby" Sweety" like she did before Saturday night but she still tells me we are fine and for me just to chill out. Am I over reacting? Ladies have I lost her? Please some advice. This is the woman I want to marrry and spend the rest of my life with.

I just don't understand why women can't be honest with us. WHy must they hint around at things. I feel us men are held to a double standard when it comes to relationships. We aren't allowed to play our game, but we are expected to play their games by their rules. Then when a "nice guy" comes around who treats her with respect and does not want to play games they push us away like we are the scum they think all men are.

This woman is in her mid 30s

If roles were reversed us guys would be accused of playing games with her head.

Don't you guys think it is odd that no women post a reply to this topic???

I'm always looking. I've met some in my Karaoke BAr. Dance Clubs, even personal ads. Every time though I get the girls that want to play games. ALot of the girls i meet tell me I am not good enough for them (money wise). When I met thislast one she didnt care about my finanial situation, but in the end THAT is what cost me again.

WHat your saying is play a game with her. That is one thing I do not believe in. I am an honest person. I share my feelings. I guess that makes me not good enough for anyone.

I've been trying for 29 years. I can't even see the finish line.

Let me explain myself a little more. I lost the woman I love to a man who had forced himself on her and basically told her she could not leave the house when they were married. He would tell her HEr job was to raise the kids and she was not allowed to have a life or friends outside the house and he would never do anything for her. She filed for a divorce and we met shortly after. Now she has hit a rough part int he divorce and has decided to go back to him, even though she says she loves me. I just dont understand, I feel like if I was not good enough for her with her past, who AM I good for?????

WHy is it that nice guys can never keep a woman. I am 29 years old, I treat women witht e up most respect. I treat them as I would want another guy to treat my sister. I dont pressure them into anything yet I keep finding myself losing women to men that like to control them. I alway hear women complain that they cant find a nice guy, but when they find one, they run him off or leave them. I am so tired of all the games.

You know what is strange is I can get up and sing Karaoke in fron tof a bar full of people. Put a proformance together like singing "I'm too sexy" and having a good time. BUT when I get off that stage I can not walk up to an attractive woman I would like to meet. I kno why. WHile growing up and all threw HIgh School I asked girl after girl for a date, was looked down upon like I was a second class citizen uptil I just gave up. The after college I have dated a few girls (Even lived with one ofr 3 years, then walked in on her and her brother's best friend) but I seem to always get used by women now because of my good heart or get left by them becuase I dont have the financial backing that they want. My last gf was a single mom of triplets, one with CP, we dated a year and then out of the blue she left me cause she said I couldn't provide her what she wanted. Talk about another blow, I had bought her a ring for Christmas. It is stuff like this that has got be very scared to put my heart on the line again, when all I want is to settle down and have a family.

I have a problem. Tuesday night my girlfirend went with me to take my mom out to dinner for her birthday. Afterwards we went to our regular Karaoke Bar where we ran into two of our friends. I couldnt stay late so I had to leave arounf 11:30 that night. Well about 10 these two guys walked in and they were watching my girlfriend. Now these guys were "built" and our friends were drooling over them. My girlfriend was annoyed that I let my insecurity take over. Now me and my girlfriend have an awesome relationship. We have been dating for 8 months and are very happy together. I left about 1130 withthe urging of m y girlfriend casue I had to get up at 6am the next morning. When I talked to her the next day, she told me that the 4 of them being my girlfriend a friend of her's and the 2 guys were out together til 4am. That didnt sit well with me but I trust her. Then her friend tells me that she was dancing and flirting with them all night. When I told her we needed to talk she then knew her friend talked to me and ask if I was told about the dancing and stuff. I said yes and that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill and that everyone is jelios of the relationship we have. My Problem is I am scared to death to lose her. I am very much in love with her and she tell me the same. We have so much fun together. I am just scared to lose her because I have lost past girlfriends to guys that are "better looking" and "better off finacially" then me. What do I do?????

I am 28 years old. I have never been married. It seems like everytime I find happiness with someone it get taken away from me. I was with a woman for 3 years abnd was about to ask her to marry me when she left me for another man. I am now involved with a woman who I love very much, but found out she is married. Her husband was overseas in Iraq. She tells me she ants to be with me, and has left her husband, but she seems to be very distant from me. I treat every woman I am with like a gentleman should. I have been told that I am what every girl dreams about bring home to her parents, yet I can not find that girl with some sort of drama involved. I want to settle down and have a family. But everytime I find the person I feel right with, something happenes and she leaves or gets taken away. What can I do???? I am so tired of this trend, my heart can not take it anymore.

Five years ago I met my now ex in an AOl Chat room. We chatted for the longest time on-line, then over the phone. after about a year and a half of chatting, I flew up the NY on vacation to meet her. We fell in love, and the following February she flew down to Louisiana for MArdi Gras. In may of 1999 I decided that the long distencr relationship wasn't working for me, but instead of breaking the relationship off, I packed up my stuff and moved to Upstate NY to give our relationship a fighting chance. Three and a half years later.....I went on vacation to La to see y folks, while I was on vacation I had decided that this was the girl I was meant to be with. I had decided to wait til her sister's wedding was over with and the propose to her around Thanksgiving. Well 3 weeks ago I got home from Vacation and was met with the greeting that she didn't feel the same way about me. I was like a kick in the stomach with a pair of cowboy boots. I had no clue that this was coming. She said she felt like we had drifted apart, but I don't feel we had. We had a busy Summer, She was helping her sister with her wedding and new house, and I was working a second job to help save money for improvments on our house. So granted we hadn't spent a lot of time together but she took it as it we didn't want to spend time together. What is so hard is that I know her too well. SHe is not the kind of person that make decisions very well, but she is very strong headed, SO when she decides to do something you can not chage her mind. I had originally decided to stay up here in NY and give her time to think about her decision to make sure this is what she wanted. But after a week, I had decided that I needed to go back home to La to be with my family and close friends for emotional support. Now I and 5 days from my departure date, and I am more emotionally upset then ever. I still love her, and am afraid that once I get back home to La she will call me and tell me she relized she made a big mistake and want me back. Am I doing the right thing by leaving??? I don't know what to do.