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Lightingbird

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Everything posted by Lightingbird

  1. Lightingbird
    This sounds like a goodbye letter. He sounds like he still has feelings for you but is ready for you and him to move on personally. If you are still curious about his intentions and you are actually willing to try again. Contact him back and ask him directly. It would never hurt to try. Take your time and make the best decision for you. Good luck to you.
  2. Lightingbird
    Start looking for a hobby. Something that you will enjoy doing and looking forward into investing your personal time.
  3. Lightingbird
    Well start looking for another place immediately. Keep your distance from him as much as possible. Prepare for a tough month avoiding him and indirectly dealing with him until you find your own place. A month is a reasonable amount of time to find another place unless you can move in with friends or family. It's going to be tough but keep your head up. You will get through this situation. Life will go on and you will do better. Good luck to you.
  4. Lightingbird
    Great list Annie.
  5. Lightingbird
    Often in life there is challenges that involve difficult decisions, making those decisions determine your future mindset. Respect your girlfriends decision to learn and spend time with herself. In the meantime, get to know yourself. Learn about what makes you happy, stable, and secure. Work on a new hobby. Don't have one? Get one and put some time into it. Spend time with your friends and family. The key to this is to allow her time to get her thoughts together and realize that she misses you. Regardless of what happens, respect her decision. Realistically its very possible that she may not desire to get back with you and you may never know why. Understand this possibility and don't let it consume you. The road that you are about to travel down is going to be a tough one. But I''m sure you can make it. Stay positive, respect her wishes, and accept her decision no matter what it is. I'm sure you will get past this either way. Good luck to you.
  6. Lightingbird
    Hopefully these will help you out. 1. If you give her any gifts or plan any future dates. Observe if she acts unconcerned or uninterested. 2. Talking about you two as a couple in a future tense and see how she reacts. 3. If you ask her anything personal like what shes doing when you aren't together or if shes talking to anyone else and she gets overly defensive and upset. 4. Lastly, don't deny your gut feeling. If you feel like something is wrong you are probably right. Take your time and work things out. Good luck to you.
  7. Lightingbird
    When I read a person who has survived a break up like this with such positive feedback. It sends good vibes all over me. Keep it up!
  8. Lightingbird
    Accept the possibility that she may in fact may never get her feelings back to how she felt about you in the past. Some scars are hard to heal. Instead try to create new memories and stay positive with your feelings toward her. Give her some time to turn around. Although... Don't forget about yourself. Once you feel you can no longer expect her to return back to the way that she made you happy in the past. Consider that you might need to move on in your life. Don't allow her acceptance to keep you in her life, only to allow her confusion drag you down. Try to keep your relationship alive and fruitful by expressing your feelings, being loving, and not giving up. Keep your head up. Good luck to you.
  9. Lightingbird
    Firstly respond to her email and see where it goes. From the way she wrote that she may still have feelings for you. Take a chance and contact her back and see where it goes. Good luck to you.
  10. Lightingbird
    It's time to step or you'll have a long road of regret in your life to bask on. Realize that if you don't take this chance and nothing ever comes of it. You will always wonder. Thats not a good feeling. The next time you speak to her alone or in a private area. Sit her down and just come out and ask her out to dinner. Make sure you stress to her that you would like to be more than friends. Make sure she understands this so there will be no confusion. Keep us posted. Make that first step and don't look back. It will be a bit scary for you. But even if she tells you shes not interested, you will gain confidence in trying and erase that possible lifetime of wondering. Good luck to you.
  11. Lightingbird
    You may never really know why he made his decision. Your best option would be to step away from this and leave this alone. Occupy your thoughts with other things and don't allow this to get the best of you. Each person in a relationship deserves to know the status of the relationship. It is really unfair of him not to disclose to you the need for the breakup. Realize that a lot of people, simply don't have the courage to tell the person that they still care about why they have chose to move on in their personal life. Keep in mind, it may be something that you don't desire to know and if you knew it may make this time for you worse. Embrace this moment and work on building yourself back up by reclaiming your identity. Do not let this fill your empty thoughts. Stay busy and do your best to not spend any moments of wandering about this. It will only grow and really affect you more. The only other option that you have for an attempt would be to contact him in person or on phone and ask him. Keep in mind that by doing this you risk his unpredictable reaction and discovering the truth. Its a good chance it won't be a good experience. Either way, stay strong and keep moving to the future. You will get through this and things will get better for you. Good luck to you.
  12. Lightingbird
    I guess Ill have to be the one with the opposing advice. Since you like this guy so much. You need to first decide what type of relationship you'd like to have with him. A friend only? In a relationship if possible? Just real close? After you figuring that out. If it involves a possible relationship then you need to decide if you have the courage and strength to tell him and see how he feels. I say courage because once you tell him this, either way things may change. They can get better or non existent. A risk indeed, but as an adult, its a way of life. Now keep in mind, if you are content, on just being a friend and leaving it at that. Then by all means do nothing. Just keep the same situation going on as long as it can. Please don't bottle yourself up because he has been in a long relationship. Who knows... if he shares your interest, you could be in a nice relationship. Take your time with him and your choices. So choose carefully. Good luck to you.
  13. Lightingbird
    Advise your friend to talk to her friends and discuss this matter. Tell her to discuss the possibility of dating this guy with the one that does not like him. The one that likes him have her ask her in a very nice and subtle way how would she feel if another female friend were to talk to him knowing that she likes him. By doing this at least she will know her reaction. Remember communication is the key. Just have her talk to both of them and base her decisions from there. Good luck to you.
  14. Lightingbird
    You already have the answer to this problem. It may seem confusing to you and seem very odd that they are spending so much time together. Now consider if you are right. Would your friend tell you? Would your then boyfriend tell you? Would they tell you something to make you think otherwise? You know the answer to this. But be strong and prepare for the worst. Keep your distance from both and just let thing come about. You being in the middle asking questions will only get you hurt and make you look bad. Good luck to you.
  15. Lightingbird
    Never assume trust, it must be earned. You failed to mention how long you have both been together and the level of your relationship. Dealing with your new fear, you must realize the truth of her past. She has cheated before on her past boyfriends. Know that there are two stories to everything. There might be reasons for her actions. But take heed, this could also be a warning of notice to you. Your best route would be to discuss with her the exact reasons of her cheating in her past. Ask probing questions, for example: "What made you cheat?" "Did you cheat out of anger?" Either way, don't let this be a end to your relationship. Gain strength in it by learning how to cheat your woman better as well as protecting yourself. But either way, please do not assume trust, it must be earned. Good luck to you.
  16. Lightingbird
    Having constant thoughts of a former loved one can be a very stressful thing. Here are some steps to help you. 1. Invest in 3 new hobbies. If you already have one, invest more time into this hobby. 2. Start dating again. If you are not ready, then lean more on your friends and spend more time with them. 3. Next time you have a disturbing vision, yell to yourself for it to go away and replace it with thoughts of bills that are due, repairs that need to be done, or personal goals that you are working at completing. The road before you will be hard. But the key to this is learning how to embrace these thoughts softly and slowly with less pain. You will have to be strong and know that you will beat this. You will be fine. Good luck to you.
  17. Lightingbird
    Your last paragraph said a lot that was right on the money. Living in a new city with little or no friends or family can make any familiar face seem like a blessing. But it also makes you appreciate what you no longer have in your life. The biggest decision you face with this woman is your future. Future meaning, if you do not attempt to tell her your feelings because of fear of ruining your friendship, you may never get another chance. Should you attempt to tell her, tell her over a nice dinner or a well made home supper. Realize that she may no longer be interested in you and that it may affect your friendship. But she may also share the same idea as you. Ultimitely, the decision to tell her will be yours. But take you time, look at all the pros and cons, and make the best choice. Good luck to you.
  18. Lightingbird
    It sounds that your friend may be a little unsure of himself around your brother. It would be best if you simply ask him some hypothetical questions. For example, you could ask him if would date you. You could ask him if any of his close friends would be happy or proud to date you. This way you get some answers from him without facing embarrassment from him and giving him some safety. As far as the question in the bar, perhaps he wanted to talk to you and just said the first thing that crossed his mind. From what you telling us, it does sound that he could be interested but a little shy and questioning if something could really happen. You best course of action is to get this guy alone and find out what he is thinking. Good luck to you.
  19. Lightingbird
    After reading that cut from your dialog, it seems that one of three things is a immediate issue. 1. He does not understand what is bothering you. 2. He does not care for some reason. 3. He has no idea how to show he cares. The next time you speak to him, firstly do it in person. Tell him in a slow fashion exactly when, where, and how you feel the way do. Make sure you deal with this immediately. Ask youself some hard questions. Is there any truth to his words? Do you feel that maybe he does not care? Remember a relationship is alot of work and you will need to work on yourself as much as together to make things work. But you are right, if one is not happy, the relationship will as a whole not happy. Make the right choice, good luck to you.
  20. Lightingbird
    Your best move at this point would be to move on in your life. Take a break and get yourself together mentally. Rebound or not, he has moved on in his life. The best move for you at this point is to do the same. When his relationship fails and he finds out that you have moved on. You may cross his mind again. He will respect you that you didn't put your life on hold for him. Be strong your journey will not be easy but you will make it with the help of your friends and family. Good luck to you.
  21. Lightingbird
    Walking a line with the law and love is a deadly thing. You are right on your assumptions. If she has the history of acting without thinking then she might be quite able of using that against you. For that you should be extra careful with dealing with this woman. Love can get you into all kinds of trouble that can haunt a person's entire life. Take you time with this decision. Good luck to you.
  22. Lightingbird
    The easiest way to solve your problem is to talk to her. Communication is the key use it. Tell her how you feel and exactly what you said on your post. Talk to her in person and don't wait on it. Do it soon. Good luck to you.
  23. Lightingbird
    Your best course of action would be to step back and leave her alone for now. With your current mental state you would only indirectly pressure her. It would be in your best interest to step back and rebuild yourself individuallly for awhile before you step in another direction of another relationship. Take you time. Good luck to you.
  24. Lightingbird
    Dealing with game. She was blowing you off for a reason. That reason you may never know. It could have been for another man, lack of attraction, fear of bordom with you, who knows. Negative as all that is, who cares. Now that you have stopped talking and calling she desires to have back and feet begging for her attention. Your course of action is simple. Leave her alone. Don't talk to her or give her a explaination. She does not deserve one. She was unavailable for you when you were interested. Now show her that you value yourself too much to used as a casual, minium use playtoy. Make her respect you and be strong. Good luck to you.
  25. Lightingbird
    Turboz is correct in his words. Lack of communication is the main killer in relationships. So talk to him repeatly in a non-aggressive manner and try to help him understand your feelings. Also, try to discover if there are any reason why he is not so eager to spend time with you. Be open minded and listen to his remarks. The key is to fix this problem so listen to him and both of you try to adjust to make things work. But don't wait to talk to him. Talk to him about in person if you can. Good luck to you.
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