confusedheart

i hope there is never a next time.

ironically, within minutes of making this topic, she emailed me a "thinking of you" e-card that said she is thinking about me all the time and she hopes i am thinking of her and that she loves me. i didn't reply at first, and sought advice from my sister. my sister reminded me that when you access an e-card that a read receipt is sent... when i returned to my office i had an instant message from her asking for me to reply to the email and then a text message came through asking. i replied to both... i'm giving her space, but don't want to push her away... i also don't want to get hurt myself... this is awful, i've never exprienced such heartache before, how have you all done it?

our relationship is like anything either of us have experienced before, we both were not looking to or expecting a relationship and immediately we clicked and are inseperable. at the same time though, we are both young... we met when she was 18 and i was 21 both in college, i had already experienced a lot in my first 3 years and i know personally i grew a lot during that time. i believe in my heart she is honest, but its just so difficult to comprehend that we may not be together.

This past weekend my girlfriend of 2.5 years, the love of my life, told me that she wants to find happiness and peace within herself. She told me she loves me so much and wants to marry me and have my children, yet she needs to be happy with herself. We are 3 years apart she is 20 years old and very busy with school/work/finances and managing her life. She has a ton of stress, but I'm so confused on whether she'll come back, or if she'll decide she wants me out of her life. I'm so crushed right now, the last couple days have been so hard. We left with hugs and kisses and I told her she can call me anytime. I've been NC and I find myself checking the phone constantly to see if she's called.