Jump to content

Lightingbird

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    189

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Lightingbird

  1. Lightingbird
    Good point grneyedscotsman... You have picked up on her actions as far as her cheating on her mate. People often act out on their "life actions". Meaning the behavior that have done all their lives. And most likely, will continue to do so unless something major occurs in their life. But I applaud you on your decision to cut all ties. That was a excellent move on you.
  2. Lightingbird
    To be honest with you... I almost stopped reading your information half way through because I know where it was heading. In all of this four years of your life, time that you cannot have back. Hopefully, you have learned something. But... You cannot have. You are still with the woman. This world is a constant battelfield of technology, health care, nations, diease, and lying. One of the biggest conflicts that we all have is lying. We lie to others, to our children, to our parents, our friends, and ourselves. Don't you see that you are and have been lying to yourself? Another direction perhaps.... Have you two been to counseling recently? Do you go to church? What is making you so sure that she not cheating? You do realize that logically she would not do the exact same things if she was cheating so you would not notice, right? If you are serious and refuse to let go of this get some counseling quick. Its hard to survive a relationship like that without gaining some couple skills. God bless you both.
  3. Lightingbird
    Yes calm down and repost.
  4. Lightingbird
    I hope you realize that of course things are going to be good for you both. He is bringing nothing to the table that would cause you any grief. His wife gets all of that. Now unless he is talking divorce and you have very strong reason to be believe him. I would suggest you walk away. There are some things you need to consider. What does he do while hes at home with his wife? Is he using protection for either of you? ( yes he is sleeping with both) Does he have any morals? Do you? Are you comfortable knowing that you will be part of the reason that a family will come apart? Do you like being second best? Do you believe in God? and Do you deserve better? I'm sure you know what you need to do but you want someone to back up your thoughts. You'll never be able to trust him and you are not the first, I'm sure, think about that. God bless you and please think this through your future is very precious.
  5. Lightingbird
    I dont know if you are aware of this but sounds to me that you are already in a relationship. A Sexual one. My friend this type of relationship will rarely grow into anything else. You are caught in a circle of physical love. I suggest that firstly you come to the decision if you are comfortable being in this relationship with no possiblity of anything else. If so, well continue your path but keep your feelings at bay. If not, don't engage in activites like this with her anymore. I would think that you could not possibly trust her since she is cheating on her current love with you. You might wanna consider having this discussion with her. But be forwarded, things will change drastically upon this conversation. Good Luck to you.
  6. Lightingbird
    By wanting to take this young ladie out Id like to assume that you would like to impress her. On that... you should not leave her a note. You are a grown man, so act like one. Women love confidence. Perhaps you should try to win her with chivilary. Send her some flowers or go out of your way to catch her. But by no means leave her a note. Chances are, she has enough of immature males trying to get closer to her. And she is very tired of their young, inexperiened, childish approaches. Give her direct approach or surprise her.... But no notes
  7. Lightingbird
    I'd have to agree with Shy_guy. By the end of the first year you will be very different. But essentially I would have to agree with your boyfriend. I am touched by his strength and honesty by telling you. As you should be as well. He is not doing as many other by leading on, lying, or hurting you by keeping the relationship together while all of these changes are taking place. I know it hurts and it will be hard. But be strong and focus on your schooling and yourself now. You are about to enter a most exciting part of your life. Enjoy it. God will be with you.
  8. Lightingbird
    I think you already know your answer. You need to leave this guy alone. Apparently, you must not be in love with him or not in a situation to appreciate it. Don't move in with this guy and save both of you some grief. And you might wanna consider if you are going to stay with him as well. Be fair and think of his involvement in this and how the longer you two are together how it will affect him
  9. Lightingbird
    You need to talk to her. Don't let this consume you because it will. Having feelings of fear of cheating is normal. But you since you are in a relationship together, you are each others immediate person to turn too. Best friends... Talk to her and don't approach her in a offensive or overly direct way. Bring up some of your faults, why you love her and ease into the subject. Tell her your fears but don't present a command or order of not going or rules. End by telling her your true fears and go no further. You don't wanna start a fight, you just want to enlighten her on the topic. Never let any fear, person, or action cause problems that can destroy your marriage. It says in the bible that a husband and wife should not be placed in positions that can tempt the other in adultery. But since this is a friendly event respect her feelings and wishes but please alert her to yours.
  10. Lightingbird
    Love is hard... No Holly, You should not worry about it. You said that the two of you came to a "mutal" agreement about your relationship. Not compatible right? For your feelings you have to "not" concern yourself with him. It will drive you mad and overly consume you. Not to mention you might make a bad decision as far as getting back together with no plan. Just because things didn't work out doesn't mean that you didn't love one another. You made a good step in realizing that you both are not a match no its time to get past the hardship of seperation. Don't contact him unless you feel like you are willing to work things out. The worst thing that you want to happen is to confirm your fears. Im sure he cares for you but he is protecting himself by not contacting you. You'll be ok.... God is with you, you are not alone.
  11. Lightingbird
    Well you have to accept that the two of you have become different. You shouldn't focus or feel bad because it was sex. Sex is very powerful. It can have great influence on alot of things. Feel good that he told you his feelings and not moving on to another to get sex while he was still with you. I noticed that you sad you hated it quite a bit. Do you really hate it? Are you sure that you just don't hate the idea of always conflicting to do it with him. Perhaps you should talk to him about making the environment different or coming to a comprise about the sex. Two years is a long time to throw away. Are you married? Not being married can be another reason that you two are going through all of this. But knowing know what you are up against is a great thing. Think things through and talk to him before your relationship is finalized. Good luck.
  12. Lightingbird
    This is for you... I have to tell you that it is unacceptable for your boyfriend/husband to be communicating with his ex-girlfriend. It is an attack on your feelings and trust for him. And he should understand that. When you are in a relationship you have to make some loses to make the relationship work. He needs to adjust his ways...
  13. Lightingbird
    You might need some therapy if you are that bad off. Have you ever cheated on him? Or have you ever thought of committing adultery? You have to understand like fuel to a fire, cause and effect, this is happening for a reason. And you will drive him away. Its like being a locked up animal walking on explosive eggshells dealing with a jealous spouse. Do you trust him? And can you for the rest of your life. Get some advise and ask yourself some serious questions.
  14. Lightingbird
    I hate to tell you this but once the sex goes its only a matter of time before the relationship goes as well. I suggest that you take a realistic view on this and move on. Do this soon.
  15. Lightingbird
    Thanks
  16. Lightingbird
    Very Good points Wandering minds
  17. Lightingbird
    I hate to say this but I kinda feel like you did this to yourself. The grass will sometimes look greener in the other yard. All that was infactuation and lust. You may have messed up a good relationship over nothing. There will always be someone that is more interesting... But only for the moment. As you get to know them and ask detailed questions, youll find that the person is different with their own set of problems and drama. I wish you luck and I hope that in your future that you cut ties before you see someone else. The pain in finding out something like this can be very hurting and affect someone for the rest of their lives. Make up with your boyfriend and dont do this again.
  18. Lightingbird
    Well, I hate to say this but perhaps you need to accept the death of the relationship and move on. You need to be a man and move out. The sooner the better. You need to get out of that environment before something happens. Its not healthy for either one of you. If she feels that way. You at least need to move out so both of you can have a chance to think things out. I know its hard but right now you need some distance so nothing can escalate. Things will be ok, you'll see.
  19. Lightingbird
    You seem to be a little confused. You need to work on 8) YOU 8) for the moment. Get in touch with yourself, go start a new diet or workout plan or take a new course. Do this so that you can clear your mind and act out of good judgement. As far as your cousin.... SHE IS YOUR COUSIN!!! And she is only 15! Are you nuts??? She is a child! Are you risking jail??? Get a grip and dont do this....
  20. Lightingbird
    So she wants space... Life is not perfect and nothing is slated forever. My friend you need to accept the change and go with it. Not to say it will be easy. Im willing to bet that this is really stressing you and it is hard to deal with this overall. Try working on self improvement for now. You have a new car now and maybe a new job. Focus on that. Start a new workout routine. Try to make some new friends. The key is to start your life anew and sprout new roots. The strongest relationships are ones where both parties are indivduals. Like well worked characters in a book. She is acting on old feelings while she around you and although she probably means you no harm. It will cause it. So please work on yourself for now. And if she comes asking why are you not spending so much time with her. Tell her you need the time to grow as she said and you need space as well. No matter what things will work out. But dont continue this circle of pain. It will only get worse.
  21. Lightingbird
    The attraction grows... Perhaps you should engage in the age old technique of... Talking! To resolve this, make time, perhaps the next time you two plan your next fling. And discuss your feelings with this man. Trust me, you may feel ackward or dumb but your feeling are worth it. He may just like the fact that he is just having sex with you. But he does not share the same feelings as you. Then he should back off or you will be able to tell by his new reactions. But dont waste time on this. Trust me I am a man and if he can keep having sex with as long as he can with no committment. Hell do it. Make your move. And remember if you get lost in life pull out the manual ( the holy bible )
  22. Lightingbird
    My young friend.... What you need to do is self improvement. Work on bettering yourself. Go start a new physial routine or look for a new job. Upgrade your wardrobe. Look and get a better job. The point is two-fold 1. Youll be improving yourself for the better. 2. If she notices, all of the sudden you will be much more appealing because youll have this new you about you. Trust me it could work. Besides... at your age you should be focusing on the future and whatever it may bring. I am sorry that things are hurting you. But part of being young is learning. I hope you learn from your fault and whatever she told you she didn't like. Trust me it will only help you with other women. Or... If the lord permits, it will help you with her.
  23. Lightingbird
    Hello my friend... I feel that you are in a cycle with this woman. Things will not go away until some immediate things change. Perhaps, counseling or talking to a minister or priest like myself. Talking to her and really listening to find out what she wants out of life. But don't just think that when things are going good they will never get bad or back to the same routine. But first... You need to deal with your drug problem NOW. You are a father now and that child will forever value everything that you do in life as a big thing. Do something now. Go join a support group or admit yourself into rehab. But please do something. No sucides... that is out of the question. The lord would not like that and neither would your child. Try working on yourself for now. And your vision will clear. I promise. And if you go astray pick up the manual to life ( the holy bible ) and or give me a email. Id be glad to be a friend to help you through this.
×
×
  • Create New...