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desertnomad

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  1. desertnomad
    "All men die. Not all men truly live." William Wallace in "Braveheart"
  2. desertnomad
    Excellant. Right there with you.
  3. desertnomad
    This is a great question. I have been in relationships that have had some really crazy signs or coincidences. For instance in one we both had the same exact picture framed and hanging in our living room and not a common picture at all. I never met anyone else friend or otherwise with that picture. We were both shocked when we saw it in the backgrounds of each others pictures. It helped bring us closer but things like that didnt keep us together. In the end fate rests with the two people involved as lifestream said above. We all make our choices for better or for worse in the end.
  4. desertnomad
    Congratulations. Sounds great 8)
  5. desertnomad
    There are plenty of 'nice' guys that are not into games just honesty and fun and something real. Being 'nice' doesnt mean you are a pushover either who cant stand your ground when necessary.
  6. desertnomad
    I dont have much to add except that is a great quote there i1dr and it goes for any relationship. If someone doesnt consider you special enough to stick with you why would you want them anyways?
  7. desertnomad
    Theres no excuse for cheating, lying, emotional dishonesty, or emotional abuse (blaming you for all her mistakes). It doesnt really matter how long ago it was because that trust is still destroyed. If shes not willing to take responsibility for her actions and you two cant work it out with a professional therapist than you have no options but to move on in my opinion.
  8. desertnomad
    Yeah I could use one. Or a spaceship out of here.
  9. desertnomad
    Wow ..some very pretty faces posting in this thread. I agree. I think you can enjoy life on your own and its not a necessity to have someone. But, I would prefer that I did have someone on this day and many other days. Its always about keeping a balance between having your own life and your life with someone else. You can treat yourself special but being with someone also who treats you special makes life all that much better.
  10. desertnomad
    I dont think there is any getting over some things. You just come to the realization that there is nothing left you can do and your only option is to find something else to replace it or think about. In the meantime I guess you just keep banging your head into that proverbial brick wall in front of you.
  11. desertnomad
    I just saw this thread today and even though its a few months old I wanted to post a few comments. First I wanted to agree wholeheartedly with ladybugg that this guy was a jerk and certainly wasn’t worth your time or effort. He obviously had/has some issues with how to talk to other human beings. I do want to disagree with some comments that feelings of anger or frustration are somehow wrong or controlling behavior. Both those feelings are very naturally human and there is nothing wrong with them. It is what you do when you are angry that counts. Calling names, insulting others, belittling others or talking over people are not acceptable. In addition, blaming others for all your mistakes I would agree is not acceptable either. I do think that standing your ground and sticking up for oneself when you are angry or upset are acceptable as long as it is done without the above things happening. Certainly everyone feels a degree of frustration and exasperation when communication has broken down and maturity has gone out the window. I got out of a relationship last year where my ex blamed me for everything and never accepted responsibility for her actions even including her cheating and running off with someone else. It was to say in the least a very frustrating time for me to be constantly blamed by an emotionally cold person.
  12. desertnomad
    Well you are missing someone and grieving the loss of something very special to you. I know its terribly hard to move on especially after 3 years but take some time for yourself right now. Take his advice. Do things you enjoy. Hang out with friends or make new ones or do things that you've put on hold the past 3years. And if you meet someone new down the road when you are ready and he is still not available then I would go for it.
  13. desertnomad
    Well, I understand how tough it is when the person you love just isnt available emotionally to be in a relationship. It is a hard thing to accept but you certainly dont want to be in a relationship where both peoples hearts arent into it. Honestly part of what you said he told you doesn’t seem the least bit fair. He cant have anyone in his life right now but he hopes you dont go out and date? Hes got things to work out.. I understand that. But he expects you not to go out and have fun while he is working on his issues? How long is it going to take him? He expects you to stop living your life (especially in your early 20's) and just wait around on him? Maybe you going out to date or moving on with your life will make him reconsider his issues and how to deal with them. Perhaps he will be able to pull it together a little faster knowing he may very well lose something special in his life. Nope you aren’t posting too much 8). Hang in there.
  14. desertnomad
    Don't look too deep into things, if you overanalyze every moment you can never enjoy your life. An excellant statement
  15. desertnomad
    Well thats a pretty mean thing to say to someone but it gets said alot along with alot of other mean things. Yes I have had those thoughts before but never acted on them. After a breakup it can seem like its the end of the world and there is nothing to live for. Its a real struggle even breathing sometimes when you feel your insides have been ripped out. The only thing to do is take it one hour at a time and realize that those feelings wont always be as strong. Time has a way of numbing things and those thoughts will disappear when the sun starts to shine again however faintly. Breakups stink but just dont act on those thoughts. If you can, stay busy doing something like exercise.
  16. desertnomad
    Having someone in your life can be a wonderful thing but also at times a harsh thing. It is not the end all be all but it is nice. We arent by nature meant to go it alone. I dont think I would have wanted to go through my life without anyone. Relationships have helped make me be the person I am today. Alot of wounds but I wouldnt trade anything. So yes looking back I would feel bad if I didnt get to experience any relationships. Its nice to make memories with someone..just hope that those memories last a life time with the other person. I think thats really what most of us want anyways. I think we all can be a positive influence or a negative one (women and men). Its just about honesty and caring. Those people do exist and thats what makes risking a relationship sometimes worthwhile..the chance you may get one of those people. So not ever having just any old relationship might not be such a bad thing but rather not being able to experience true kindness and caring from another person would be a great loss.
  17. desertnomad
    Oh hey I really like number five too...
  18. desertnomad
    Those are great points for any relationship and living life....I really like number 2 there
  19. desertnomad
    Yeah being an amateur photographer I think you have an Excellant chance lady bugg..go for it!
  20. desertnomad
    That is one of the hardest parts for sure. The thinking that you will never be together again. Relationships are so full of the hopes for the future which are just as important as the good things they give us in the present. When you lose that hope you lose alot of those feelings of security you had that there will be someone there down the road with you always. But that feeling doesnt have to last forever. There are millions of people out there looking. I know it sometimes feels like you are the only one out there. Yeah we think about calling all the time and change our minds. There is so much pressure to be a certain way or do the 'right thing' sometimes that its confusing. To bad we all cant just be real and open and honest and leave our hurts behind and drop our guard. The best thing you can do is what you are doing keeping busy. You never know what may happen but you cant focus on that or the breakup or you will be a wreck if something positive does happen with him down the road or someone else...which there will be. Sounds like you are going to do ok. Keep fighting.
  21. desertnomad
    GW hang in there and take care of yourself. Just take it one day at a time. Its going to hurt for quite awhile and that is normal. But You CAN get over this.Stay close to friends and family and keep posting on here. You may in time get some kind of answer. But right now your focus needs to be on taking care of yourself. Stay busy, make new friends, take up a new hobby, talk to whoever you need to for however long. If you are on here much during the weekdays check out DIG in the offtopic section and post whatever you want in there.
  22. desertnomad
    I like it. Short but says alot. I have been there too more then once..
  23. desertnomad
    I think I started my life out trying to live the proper way. But the more it goes on the less I care about wrinkled shirts or being polite. And I think tonite I will grab many a beer and spend an evening talking to a pet starfish. But yes I had a thought a few months ago to buy a harley and ride off into the AZ. sunset and just forget about everything I leave behind. While giving the world the longest one finger salute ever. I too am sick of mediocrity Kiss my sharries world 8)
  24. desertnomad
    I would be very concerned if any person I was in a relationship with 'lied' to me about who she was talking to on the phone. What makes it even worse is that he was talking to an ex of his. That is never a good sign at all. All the things he is doing..going online in the middle of the night and going to the grocery store for a long time are real signs of maybe cheating. He wouldnt be the first guy to say hes going to the grocery store when the real reason was to talk to another woman on the cell.
  25. desertnomad
    I'm really sorry to hear about your loss whatsagirltodo. Do you have any friends or family you can be with? Keep posting on here.
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