desertnomad
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Posts
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desertnomad's Achievements
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"All men die. Not all men truly live." William Wallace in "Braveheart"
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Developing self-worth.....despite it all
desertnomad replied to mintblossom's topic in Personal Growth
Excellant. Right there with you. -
This is a great question. I have been in relationships that have had some really crazy signs or coincidences. For instance in one we both had the same exact picture framed and hanging in our living room and not a common picture at all. I never met anyone else friend or otherwise with that picture. We were both shocked when we saw it in the backgrounds of each others pictures. It helped bring us closer but things like that didnt keep us together. In the end fate rests with the two people involved as lifestream said above. We all make our choices for better or for worse in the end.
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Success....we Are Back Together !!!
desertnomad replied to futychick's topic in Getting Back Together
Congratulations. Sounds great 8) -
There are plenty of 'nice' guys that are not into games just honesty and fun and something real. Being 'nice' doesnt mean you are a pushover either who cant stand your ground when necessary.
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Ex's behaviour: interested in what people think
desertnomad replied to hjc's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I dont have much to add except that is a great quote there i1dr and it goes for any relationship. If someone doesnt consider you special enough to stick with you why would you want them anyways? -
Theres no excuse for cheating, lying, emotional dishonesty, or emotional abuse (blaming you for all her mistakes). It doesnt really matter how long ago it was because that trust is still destroyed. If shes not willing to take responsibility for her actions and you two cant work it out with a professional therapist than you have no options but to move on in my opinion.
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Yeah I could use one. Or a spaceship out of here.
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My Thoughts On Valentine's Day........
desertnomad replied to Lady Bugg's topic in Relationship Advice
Wow ..some very pretty faces posting in this thread. I agree. I think you can enjoy life on your own and its not a necessity to have someone. But, I would prefer that I did have someone on this day and many other days. Its always about keeping a balance between having your own life and your life with someone else. You can treat yourself special but being with someone also who treats you special makes life all that much better. -
I dont think there is any getting over some things. You just come to the realization that there is nothing left you can do and your only option is to find something else to replace it or think about. In the meantime I guess you just keep banging your head into that proverbial brick wall in front of you.
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I just saw this thread today and even though its a few months old I wanted to post a few comments. First I wanted to agree wholeheartedly with ladybugg that this guy was a jerk and certainly wasn’t worth your time or effort. He obviously had/has some issues with how to talk to other human beings. I do want to disagree with some comments that feelings of anger or frustration are somehow wrong or controlling behavior. Both those feelings are very naturally human and there is nothing wrong with them. It is what you do when you are angry that counts. Calling names, insulting others, belittling others or talking over people are not acceptable. In addition, blaming others for all your mistakes I would agree is not acceptable either. I do think that standing your ground and sticking up for oneself when you are angry or upset are acceptable as long as it is done without the above things happening. Certainly everyone feels a degree of frustration and exasperation when communication has broken down and maturity has gone out the window. I got out of a relationship last year where my ex blamed me for everything and never accepted responsibility for her actions even including her cheating and running off with someone else. It was to say in the least a very frustrating time for me to be constantly blamed by an emotionally cold person.
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Well you are missing someone and grieving the loss of something very special to you. I know its terribly hard to move on especially after 3 years but take some time for yourself right now. Take his advice. Do things you enjoy. Hang out with friends or make new ones or do things that you've put on hold the past 3years. And if you meet someone new down the road when you are ready and he is still not available then I would go for it.
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Well, I understand how tough it is when the person you love just isnt available emotionally to be in a relationship. It is a hard thing to accept but you certainly dont want to be in a relationship where both peoples hearts arent into it. Honestly part of what you said he told you doesn’t seem the least bit fair. He cant have anyone in his life right now but he hopes you dont go out and date? Hes got things to work out.. I understand that. But he expects you not to go out and have fun while he is working on his issues? How long is it going to take him? He expects you to stop living your life (especially in your early 20's) and just wait around on him? Maybe you going out to date or moving on with your life will make him reconsider his issues and how to deal with them. Perhaps he will be able to pull it together a little faster knowing he may very well lose something special in his life. Nope you aren’t posting too much 8). Hang in there.
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Don't look too deep into things, if you overanalyze every moment you can never enjoy your life. An excellant statement
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Well thats a pretty mean thing to say to someone but it gets said alot along with alot of other mean things. Yes I have had those thoughts before but never acted on them. After a breakup it can seem like its the end of the world and there is nothing to live for. Its a real struggle even breathing sometimes when you feel your insides have been ripped out. The only thing to do is take it one hour at a time and realize that those feelings wont always be as strong. Time has a way of numbing things and those thoughts will disappear when the sun starts to shine again however faintly. Breakups stink but just dont act on those thoughts. If you can, stay busy doing something like exercise.