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need2bme

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Everything posted by need2bme

  1. need2bme
    Is it possible that he has someone else? Also, are you chasing him? How old are you guys?
  2. need2bme
    I always wonder why exes are ever back around. Again, aren't they exes for a reason? Sometimes though, I have found that once the love, and anger, die down from a relationship, it is easier to be friends with someone you have known for some time. If she has given you no reason to doubt her, then don't. I wouldn't want him around either, but anything you say now, will make you appear jealous. Also, not to make you worry, but I always wonder if it is easier for them to talk to exes and I would want her to talk to me about anything and feel comfortable about it. Good luck!
  3. need2bme
    My ex and I broke up MANY times and MANY times she came back. I think she figured out that we never fixed anything and it seemed to always be about the sex. We even joked about it. I don't think she is coming back this time. It does happen, so if it happens to you, you take the time EVERY DAY, to show her how much she means to you. Take the time to be a better couple.
  4. need2bme
    So, I think I am staying at work way too late, so I can post on the boards. I don't even want to go home anymore. All I am going to do, is get there and lay on the floor, in front of the tv. Yay! I cannot wait. I am trying so hard not to be depressed. You know, I am also trying not to read into things, but when I saw the ex, she had gained some weight. Also, whenever she speaks to me, she says she hasn't slept a lot and I can tell when I see her. She also says she has been sick and she has been tired and she spends time alone. All last month (when we were talking) she would be home when I called. It wasn't like before. That is why I thought she might be missing me. Of course now, with this guy moving in, that point is really moot. But, I wonder... Why would she be that way, if she did not miss me? I am the one getting on with rebuilding me, with losing weight and working out and with school. I know her job is so stressing her right now, but why would she hide, if she really cared. I think she cares, but she says she doesn't. I know I have been around the boards for a while now and I know we have been apart for almost 8 months, which means she has had ample time to be with me and has chosen not to. However, we all write of "actions speaking louder than words" and "watch the feet, not the lips", so why is she so stressed and why does she tell me that I will always have the "power" over her. I just don't get it. Has anyone ever gone through anything like this?
  5. need2bme
    What you are feeling bro' is very normal. When a breakup happens, we get shaken to our very core. We may think it was their fault, our fault, the dog's fault or anything in between. It is normal to begin asking the waht ifs and the whys. For some of us, the only way to learn is from those questions. I am being brought more in tune with my need or anyone's need to control a situation, from going back and forth with "IceMotoBoy" and the guys on one of the threads here. Basically, he reminds me that we sadness, fear and any other emotion you bring up in yourself, make us feel in control. We can only control the sadness. Also, if we can search hard enough for the why, maybe we can ix it. It is so hard to surrender and I have not done it yet. I will turn on the sad music dude and cry myself to sleep. I was in the military and thought I was one tought guy, but this breakup has taught me a lot. It has also weakened me a lot, as well. Can we get through this? Sure we can. The only thing it will take, is time. Use this time though, to become a better you. Also, get in touch with you and learn how to like you. PM if you need to brother...
  6. need2bme
    Some people are very bad with confrontations. I am very bad with confrontations. I think that is all it is and I am sure she cares, but does not know what to say. Do you? Are you ready for this? Because you guys have to talk about it and it may end up that you break up for a while. Can you talk about this rationally and calmly. Can you not get angry or in any slight arguments as mentioned in the OP? Just try and stay calm and let her know you are ready when she is. Most importantly though, don't say ANYTHING you DON'T mean and DON'T hold ANYTHING in. Good luck!
  7. need2bme
    Hey, can someone get the "advertiser" off of these boards?
  8. need2bme
    WOW, I could absolutely feel your sadness. Man, all we can do is hope that tomorrow is better than today, and it will be. At least it will be one more day you can wakeup and try again. One thing is for sure, you have to keep no contact. Everytime I wake up from a dream about her and call her or email her and get no response, it makes me feel that much worse. Only to remember that when she had an issue with her family, she called me and when she "just wanted to talk" she calle dme at the end of last year, out of the blue. Now, she is with some other guy. I cannot let this be on her terms. I was told by a friend that I am stupid for thinking that I cannot be friends with her, because she wants the emotion without none of the responsibility. I was told that we had been together for so long that we are probably the best of friends. I should not want to give that up. Well, I don't; I was forced to. I don't believe it is fair to be friends with her, when all she wants is that guy and me, only without the emotional investment with me. Your ex acting the way she did and mine acting the way she did, as if nothing happened, means to me, that they just want to act as if nothing happened. Only guess what? It did.
  9. need2bme
    Hey Super, I could use that hug right about now. ;-) Ya know, I am having to go back down to see the ex this weekend, to get bills transferred and pick up the rest of my stuff. I will be driving down. She accidently sent some of her stuff up here with me (trust me, it was an accident. It was as if she could not wait to get rid of me). I have been doing LC, as the situation allows, but I know that once i am done this weekend, I can really go NC. I don't even think I will have to tell her, because I don't think she will even care. I mean, why should she? The hardest part guys, is that I know he is going to be there and all of his stuff will be there. This is so gonna hurt...
  10. need2bme
    It is weird to hear about a "dumper" wanting someone back (at least for me, it is). I have a question though; Have you seen anyone else since then and did it end badly? I am asking, because if you want this guy back now; what changed? I am just curious.
  11. need2bme
    This right here, is the truth and happened to me. Trust me, you do not want it to happen to you. It is such a shame that they get "confused", because that seems to be all it is, without them even willing to try and fix things. Everyone goes around and says they "tried", but I know that mine would not stop with the back and forth, would not let things go, would not put me first and would not go to counseling, so she did not try. Of course, I too could have tried harder...but the above is still true and you don't want to feel it. So take "Helo's" advice. PLEASE!
  12. need2bme
    Hey, D4G, I need ya in here telling us is what is going on brother. It helps me to know that everything is going to be ok.
  13. need2bme
    WOW! Have you spoken to the police at all? I have not been through anything like this, but his showing up at places he does not need to be and "watching you", would be grounds for a restraining order (I would think). Please let us know how it all goes.
  14. need2bme
    I agree about the guilt. I hang onto it like an anchor around my neck. I feel I HAVE to do the penance. But, she feels like she has to do nothing. She too, wants me around as her friend. She called me her best friend. I don't think I can do that and I feel a little betrayed. I am learning to roll with it, a little, in that I don't wanna be mean about stuff like this anymore. I also don't think it is good for me, or you, to just be a bud, in hopes of something else happening. I ask you this; what do you want from her? To get back together? I know that if I hung around as a friend and she wanted back in with me, after being with this guy; sooner or later it would bug me and it would come out of my mouth. Can you forgive and forget all things? Also, I too have done the drunk dailing. If you think you might, just leave the phone at home. My 2 cents, as well.
  15. need2bme
    It is normal. However, who broke up with whom? If she broke up with you, I can understand it. I felt the same way. I want to show my ex and I am much older than you. All it did though, was get us back together in ways we should not have been and made me think she still cared. I got my heart ripped wide open and do not wish that on anyone. She told me she had a new guy. She had this new guy, all the while she was messing around with me again. Get things better in your life, for you. I know it is hard, but look at all you are accomplishing.
  16. need2bme
    Compromising about babies should never happen. That would be one big compromise. Did you guys talk about this in the beginning? That is a HUGE step. Do you think she might talk, if you give her some time to calm down? I think she would. When you told her how you felt, did you sit down with her and do it objectlively and with your heart? My ex did not want children either and I was slighted a little at first. I wanted one more. Now, after 13 years, we are no longer together and I don't know what I would have done, had we had children. Also, I too am far away from my family and I totally know how you feel. Luckily, I had a credit card to move on. Now I have major debt.
  17. need2bme
    Is it just me, or does anyone else think about their ex and just wanna throw up? Man, I have to go down this weekend and get the rest of my stuff and I know the new guy, or at least his stuff will be there. Do any of you guys have advice on how to not have an anxiety attack? She does not deserve to see me missing her... Any advice will be appreciated.
  18. need2bme
    We don't all lie. I can hear that you are hurt and I understand. I had my ex lie to me recently, about us and we are not even together. What has happened to you is sad, but may not have an explanation, per se. Sure, that is what we want, what I want, because then we can understand it and maybe control it. But, it is what it is and a good thing you found out. Try not to think about the reasons too much, because it will only make you hurt more. Trust me.
  19. need2bme
    Well said. It made me think. Especially about the part we think we can control. Thanks.
  20. need2bme
    Does that mean it would be ok, if you had her permission?
  21. need2bme
    PP: I will keep in touch with you, for as long as we are going through this. I cannot post much, as I am at work and need to get some stuff done. I know how you feel and feel for you completely. That is almost exactly what happened between my ex and I. I went home over New Years and had not seen her in months. She took one look at me and I her and the feelings came back. I so know how it feels. Doesn't it make you angry a little? Like, how can they do this. At least in your case, he doesn't have anyone else. Mine made me promise not to say anything if I ever met him; 1. That hurt so bad to hear, and... 2. Like she and I are just going to be the best of friends. Nah, if she wants him, then she can have him. I am going to be someone, that someone can really love. I need to take time out for myself though. I have to deal with these feelings of loving her one minute and wanting to smack her, the next. So, what is it that caused you guys to break up, anyway? Siro: I am right there with ya, except I don't have a child with her. I do know what it is like to think that he is taking your place and he is able to get from her, what you tried so long for. Eileen: Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I too know that sooner or later, the true side of her closing off will come out. There is no way that you can simply close yourself off and expect a relationship to work. Add to that, the fact that she is so stubborn and will not work on anything and feels she will not go see a counselor, something will happen between them and they will both open their eyes. Well, I really need to get back to work. I just wanted to let you all know that it is nice to have people that understand and I wanted you guys to know that I am here for you...
  22. need2bme
    I want to learn to sing too. My brother is awesome when he sings karoake. I am getting a little better. Try going to smaller places first, which means there are not so many people. As for songs, just pick the ones you like and then experiment. I have a lower tone to my voince, so I pick out songs by Elvis or country songs. I like other types of music, but just try what I think I can sing. Also, there are plenty of place on the web, to order karoake CDROMs and you can get a cheap player from Best Buy or a place like that.
  23. need2bme
    Well, I am unpacking and everything reminds me of her. So, I am tired of all of this and I don't think I wanna date again for a long while. I am just so very sad and so very tired.
  24. need2bme
    I agree with calling, but there is also a drug interraction website. Search on Google.
  25. need2bme
    My ex-wife's mother was a manic-depressive and that was really tough. I was happy when we moved out. Is your mom seeking help? Is there a family member to help, as mentioned above? It may just come down to the fact that you need to move out for your own sanity.
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