I broke up with my ex-boyfriend in May 06', but we still kept in contact. Eventually we started going back out, but I broke up with him again around October 06'. I knew if i kept in contact with im it was just going to linger and hurt the both of us more. So we lost all contact for a good while.
I have thought about him a lot. I sent him a text message saying that I needed some things of mine back. I just wanted to talk to him, it didn't matter about what, I just wanted to hear his voice.
Eventually we started talking again, but only as friends. I asked him about a girl he went out on a date with- just to see where his feelings where. He didn't really want to tell me, but I insisted that we were best friends for three years and that it's ok to tell me things.
Later that day I finally broke down sobbing, and confessed. I sent him another text saying he was right that I was going to regret losing him, and that I did want him back.
Basically to make all the drama a little shorter, he told me that I hurt him so bad that he doesn't want me back, at least not right now. He said that we can be friends, and see where it goes from there.
Eventually I stopped crying- after a few days. We kept in contact talking and laughing about different things. It felt good to laugh with him, but it hurt b/c I know he isn't mine anymore.
He calls me- not as much as I call him- and I made the mistake of crying on the phone a couple of times. But I know deep inside he still loves me, that he does want to be back with me. But I also know how bad I have hurt him, and I understand that I put him through a lot.
I begged him to be friends, and I tried so hard to prove to him that I'm worthy of being his friend. I just now told him that I sick of trying to prove and begging. That if he wanted to be my friend I will always be here and I will always do anything for him.
I know I have to leave him alone- let him go- and if he truly loves me he will be back.
I guess what I am truly afraid of is him not coming back, me regretting this for the rest of my life, and him falling in love with another woman.
Is there anyhting else I can do? Help!
What's your opinion?
