It's been 7 months since I broke up with my ex. I've been carrying on for those 7 months very well. The first month was hard but it got easier. We were together for 6 months, I ended it because I knew I couldn't be with her the rest of my life.
I still think about some of the times we have together, but rarely. Things still remind me of her... songs, things I see, etc. I think about her maybe 1 time a day, sometimes twice... sometimes none.
After I go through things like this I tend to feel the need to improve myself... a lot. I made a plan, I'd lose some weight, and work on improving myself. I keep myself motivated to lose weight by planning on going to this event I know she'll be at in June. I continue to use this event in my mind to try and make myself "better". I daydream about this upcoming day multiple times a week.
I haven't had the oppurtunity of meeting anyone new yet. I know if I do I'll completely stop thinking about my ex.
I just keep working on bettering myself so that one day I can... rub it in her face? I know it's mean, but it's like I want to say to her "Look what you could have had."
Stupid question... Am I over her? Am I just psychologically replacing her with something else in my mind? Anybody have any ideas why I'm doing this? I think I have low self esteem, I really do. I shouldn't be doing this, but I look forward to rubbing it in her face so much. If I'm not doing something to improve myself I feel depressed.
I'm 17, a senior in highschool. I'm not using my normal screenname because I'm ashamed of everything I'm feeling and asking.