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agent1607307371

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Everything posted by agent1607307371

  1. agent1607307371
    Your husbands reactions are incredibly disrespectful, and if it were me, intensely upsetting. You do not have to live with someone who would do that to you. Maybe take some time to think about what a perfect life would be for you, the perfect man. Could you get it, how? Make a plan. If you feel the marriage to this man is no longer worth it then you owe it to yourself to find the life that you want. Do you have children? That could make it a more complex situation depending.
  2. agent1607307371
    "and has never done anything like this before (internet dating)." that you know of. If he will lie to the person he is sharing a life with then he will definitely have no qualms about lying to you, an anonymous internet connection. Run, you deserve so much better. And so does his girlfriend. But you're the one in the position to know this.
  3. agent1607307371
    I realize he's probably upset and lonely after his separation...but what makes an ex contact someone they pretty much wrote off, a year later? You answered your own question. If you're going to get in contact with him I'd lay down some groundrules first, so he can't claim to have been given the wrong idea..
  4. agent1607307371
    Aggierocker. its estimated that over a quarter of all females experience some form of physical/sexual abuse in their lives. think about your post here next time you look at your mother or sister, grandma aunt ect. wonder if anyone has hurt them today.
  5. agent1607307371
    I think you are being too understanding. It is not your job to be their emotional fluffer. You are a person and as such will bring a whole bag of different things with you that may or may not be positive. What is important is how they are resolved and talked about. People treat you the way you teach them to treat you. "I'm not going to get all caught up in the relationship again, i'm just going to sit and watch and see what he does.." He'll tailor his behaviour to get a rise out of you again. And then it will all be aout your issues and he is the victim of them.. Just because you have had guys do worse to you does not mean you should take this. Being the best of a bad bunch does not mean he isn't bad.
  6. agent1607307371
    Its easier to read with correct spelling and grammar. Are you 14 or are you 13? She left you because you lied to her, got her physically attacked and broke her trust. You outed her without her consent which is a really cruel thing to do. Can you honestly not see the problem here. There is probably very little you can do other than give her time and space and hope she forgives you.
  7. agent1607307371
    "What Is really WRONG ?" He is. He's been taking advantage of you so he can live as he wants with no concern for you. Now you are asking questions of him he is turning it back to you and generally being childish and manipulative. You and your children deserve a much much better situation and I hope that you are able to get that.
  8. agent1607307371
    Seconding Raykay. This is the trap. You are ready to move on and he calls, telling you that he is not what all his actions are saying. Don't fall into it. fwi. when my sister had her wisdom teeth pulled, she was having a mobile phone conversation on her way out of the dentists.
  9. agent1607307371
    People just aren't socialised to question authority. We are trained to pander to it and please those in authority. Some more than others, but we all possess it to some degree. Possibly it stems from our pack animal instincts, but they were victims, and the man who did this to these ladies, a predator. As for the fast-food incident, not just the girl but all the people involved were victims of this urge. These were just normal people (whose jobs and training in the service industry may have lead to them being naturally more accommodating) who did the most awful acts because of a percieved authority and now have to live with it. They were no longer in control of the situation and when people are no longer in control they can go along with the most awful things (holocaust anyone?) There have been a number of studies and cases that have shown people will only make a move if someone else does so first. Humans are not solitary creatures (for the most part) and are conditioned that way. (for a good example look up kitty genovese.) Having to buck authority, for most people, can be an extremely paralysing thing. It is extremely easy to say, 'I would do this and not that' but until you are in the position of having to do so, unfortunately you can only assume that your reactions would not be so different as the ones taken by those involved. Which can be an incredibly sobering thought.
  10. agent1607307371
    A lot of your posts here make it seem as though you could be paranoid. You put a great deal of energy into this guy and worrying about him not wanting to be with you. But still, get it checked out. Thats a huge amount of calls of such a small space of time. His response to you was either out of guilt or out of anticipating your mindset.
  11. agent1607307371
    This isn't just a case of these women being incredibly naive but of the way in which we're conditioned to respond to people we percieve to be in a position of authority. There was an even more horrific example where a man rang fast-food chains identifying himself as the police and managed to get people to sexually assault a victim he had chosen. Very disturbing. link removed
  12. agent1607307371
    Killing feelings is not the way to go, I tried to repress emotions I wasn't able to handle and ended up messing myself up worse. The best thing is to work through them, don't deny them but don't cling to them, let them pass. In time they become more and more distant. When I split with my ex, and it was devastating, every time I had a feeling about him I would visualise putting it in a steel box, chaining it up and dropping it to the bottom of the ocean. I can't say whether this is what worked, but it gave me something else to think about rather than the feeling I was having and in time I thought about him less and had less and less feeling for him. If I think about him now it feels very detatched from me. "He stuffs all his feelings away, comparmentalizes them, and although he is really messed up, he isnt emotional like me anymore and he is doing a lot better in life than I am." My ex did this. Career-wise he did extremely well. He ended up in therapy, on anti-depressants and unable to deal with the things he did feel. Not a good place to be in. Take your time, take care of yourself gently and don't push things too far too fast. I hope that you are able to get a healthy detatchment from your ex, and able to enjoy the things you love again soon.
  13. agent1607307371
    To be 100% straight is actually rarer than you think, to fantasise, to be curious about people of the same sex is natural, even if it can freak some people out. How old is your bf btw? If he is bisexual then whether your relationship will survive is down to the two of you and your desire to remain together, just because he is attracted to men does not mean that he [b[will[/b] cheat. That is a question about his ability to be monogamous, not his sexuality. If he comes to the realisation that he is gay, then that would be another matter altogether.
  14. agent1607307371
    Her situation was that her friends had dared her to date a guy for like 20 days she doesn't like for money while she's in a relation. That has to be the stupidest thing I ever heard. I really feel sorry for her bf. Your case, however, not so typical. I have sympathy for your situation. Not all cases are the same though.
  15. agent1607307371
    It doesn't have to be cured but if it's annoying now then it could become very distressing. OCD can get to the point that it overtakes your life. But I'm guessing that cases that extreme are not very common. Relaxation exercises and exercise can help alleviate some of the symptoms but it's best to talk to a professional. It is mainly controlled with behavioral and cognitive therapies or drugs that fix serotonin levels in the brain.
  16. agent1607307371
    I don't think you are going to get women to stop flirting with you, but what you can change is your reaction. By ignoring them they may feel you are playing hard to get. Instead just ask them politely but firmly not to flirt with you, or flirt back a little but make it clear that nothing is going to happen.
  17. agent1607307371
    "no, it's a problem you have, not me" Right there. If he really wasn't up to anything he would be helping you to feel secure and accepting of his friends. That response if just harsh. Don't ring your fella, let him calm down and contact you. Explain that you are feeling a bit insecure and ask him to help you through it. Communication and openness are necessities in relationships, especially where jealousy and suspicion are concerned, justified or not. I have male and female friends, if i was going out with someone who had only friends of one gender I would actually think they were a bit odd. But I always trust my gut. I leant that lesson the hard way.
  18. agent1607307371
    definitely. Plus it will give her an idea of how you like to be touched. If you're not comfortable with it though, don't do it. Simple as that.
  19. agent1607307371
    Ask him to stay with you that night. If he says that he can't he'll either admit he has plans or not mention it at all and you can go from there. And if you do have to bring up his possible plans, stay relaxed. You don't know all sides to the story yet.
  20. agent1607307371
    definitely. He will be upset if you do not go to him, but could he not come see you? You have a lot of concern for his feelings, but his response to your fear does not suggest he is returning the care.
  21. agent1607307371
    Have you told him that it makes you feel disrespected when he smokes around you? Unfortunately smoking is an addiction so he can't just drop it (unless he really really wants to, but thats a choice he's going to have to make for himself) but maybe you could talk with him and work out a compromise on it? Such as only smoking outside or out of a window and brushing his teeth afterwards ect..
  22. agent1607307371
    You're not. But then you can't argue when you end up with a disease or a paternity suite. It's called protection for a reason.
  23. agent1607307371
    It does kind of defeat the purpose of wearing the condom in the first place though. "if you finish into the condom....isn't it kinda just too sudden?" I'm not too clear on what you mean by this. The whole point of a condom is to be a barrier between the participants protecting them from each other in terms of possible pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
  24. agent1607307371
    If the lump is on the scrotum and not attached to the testicle then it is not usually a sign of cancer. But still, if in doubt get it checked, just for your peace of mind. The Testicular Cancer Resource Center link removed
  25. agent1607307371
    Hi, Is it on the testicle or is it on the scrotum? It could be a sign of cancer, it could also be a spermatocele - a blocked epidydimal duct. Your best bet it to go to a doctor and get it checked. (In the case of cancer, getting it checked while it is small is the best thing, the quicker it's caught the easier it is to get rid of it.)
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