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fishrrshortae

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Everything posted by fishrrshortae

  1. fishrrshortae
    We are meeting up in Cleveland with some mutual friends that are coming in from all around the country .. there hasn't been any talk of a relationship, although I'm sure if I brought it up again he'd be at least somewhat agreeable to the idea.. I just feel stuck in a rut.
  2. fishrrshortae
    I think he'd be willing to .. but I don't see the point, when there is no ultimate plan to meet up in the same city eventually.. I'm going to be seeing him in August, we are going to Cleveland together, then he's going to stay at my apartment for a few weeks.. Not sure what to do. I know I should just get over him, but I can't seem to find a guy that has all of the qualities he has.
  3. fishrrshortae
    OMG i was so fooled. that was awesome
  4. fishrrshortae
    Hey everyone, please advise ... There's this guy I'm good friends with.. He lives in California (I'm in NY) and he just finished his master's degree. He is either going to stay in Cali to complete his doctorate, or he will (probably) move to Idaho to be close to his family. Problem for me: he's perfect for me. He is the only guy I have ever been able to see myself married to. We both love each other very much. He is everything I have ever wanted in someone ... we tried the LD thing, and it didn't work out because I found out he was considering leaving after getting his master's to come to where I live, just to be with me. To take myself out of the equation, I broke up with him after just a few weeks of officially dating. I didn't want him to consider me when deciding what to do with his future. That being said, I have tried to move on. I have dated other people and it just makes me painfully aware that the perfect guy for me lives on the opposite coast, and here I am wasting my time with guys that I don't like or have much in common with. I know he has dated as well and is having the same problem. Any advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated
  5. fishrrshortae
    I don't think it would hurt for you to tell him that his drunken ramblings are rude and insensitive. Hopefully he can adjust that next time he gets drunk.
  6. fishrrshortae
    Wow this whole thing sounds way outta countrol... he didn't JUST tell you how bad you were in bed, he COMPARED you to other women.. he has enough nerve to know that he could say that and get away with it!!!! You're still holding on to him! Don't you see that as a huge problem?! I don't care HOW great things were at one point, it really seems like this is beyond repair, and you need to figure out how to muster enough self esteem to tell him to go bleep himself
  7. fishrrshortae
    My .02.. my parents have been together 30 years through infidelity, horrendous fights etc... While I don't believe in "happily ever after" I believe that you can find someone who loves you, even despite your flaws, and that feeling can be returned. It's simply about being unselfish and thinking of the other person all the time.. I know many couples who are divorced, but I know many who are very happily suited to each other and have been married for decades.
  8. fishrrshortae
    If it was getting better, I doubt you would have bothered posting about it.
  9. fishrrshortae
    RayKay is absolutely right He is just vicious. It's okay to be mad at you but nothing you did has warranted all of this. Is this how he is going to behave any time he is mad at you? I can't imagine anything scarier than having to deal with an abusive boyfriend. Do yourself a HUGE favor and be done with him. Honey your future is not worth giving to this man, what's done is done and you can't undo what you did, nor can you undo the damage he himself has caused.
  10. fishrrshortae
    Itsallgrand is right .. and the bottom line is, you need to realize that you DONT deserve the abuse before you are going to do anything about it. Have you done some bad things in your life? Probably. Hasn't everyone? YES. No reason for abuse there. You have options, however limited they may be. Don't let things get worse for you and your sisters before you finally decide to do something about it.
  11. fishrrshortae
    Ultimately your victimization can last only as long as you are afraid to do something about it. If you could find a full time job and take on loans, it would be easier to leave. I know many people who work full time and attend school full time with the help of loans and grants. That is not to say it would be easy, but if your situation is that bad, maybe you should consider it. Either way, it looks like the first thing you need to do is get yourself on better financial footing.
  12. fishrrshortae
    My mom is a gyno and she told me that in almost 30 years as a physician, she's seen maybe 5 cases of TSS..... thought that might help
  13. fishrrshortae
    How old are your siblings? This may seem kind of extreme, but you might want to consider reporting her to social services if she keeps on abusing you and your younger sisters. Other than that, another option for you is to move out, but of course that still leaves your sisters in a vulnerable situation. Before doing anything else, you might want to tell your mother that the next time she lays a hand on you or your siblings, you will be calling the police and pressing charges. Be prepared to follow through on the threat before you make it, and definitely do NOT hit her back.
  14. fishrrshortae
    Honestly hun it sounds like you could benefit strongly from counseling ... being molested, especially by a close family member, is an extremely traumatizing event. It has obviously deeply affected you. Consider counseling as a first step.
  15. fishrrshortae
    "Have sex with me or I will kill your father" is vastly different than "Have sex with me or I won't leave". Did I miss something - I don't recall anything in the original post about any threat that would qualify this instance as sexual assault.. Either way, next time some jerk guy tries to pull a stunt like that ... use your teeth
  16. fishrrshortae
    Red - While divorce may be an extreme option, strongly consider this: You are allowing him to come and go as he pleases, not demanding that he help with your 4 year old, allowing him to pursue his interests while stringing you along. How fair is this? How much longer can you keep this arrangement going before you're mentally exhausted? While you may not be ready for divorce, it's definitely time to set some limits on his behavior. You are not a doormat to be available whenever his feet are muddy. You need to start taking care of your own needs, if not for anything else, then for your son and daughter who need you to be a happy and healthy mom. Good luck!!
  17. fishrrshortae
    I have to put my .02 in on this one, however unpopular it may be... I disagree with this statement. There is nothing at all that was said to indicate that he physically forced her in any way. "Rape" is a strong word that should only be used where applicable, and although his behavior was obviously ridiculous, there were many other options available. thereforeeee, it is this humble poster's advice that OP's negative feelings right now are more a result of her personal choice, rather than any action forced upon her. That being said, unfortunately it is true that many young women are severely pressured into getting physical, even sometimes with physical force. One way to guard against this is to arrange dates in the company of others, never alone, and clearly state your intentions (or lack thereof). ... and always keep a cell phone handy!
  18. fishrrshortae
    I agree with the other posters, you seem too young and irresponsible to go through with it and unless she is in real physical danger, there's not enough reason to.
  19. fishrrshortae
  20. fishrrshortae
    SwtMary - It is interesting to me that your son acts out on aggression not at your home, but around other kids whom he deems vulnerable. It definitely sounds like he has some anger issues that he is not properly addressing with you. Perhaps that has something to do with his father, but maybe not. Do you think he is given freedom for his age? Is he allowed some involvement in decision making? I definitely think counseling could help. Also, it helps to keep the lines of communication open. Young boys often like to communciate while they do things, like putting together a puzzle or a toy model... things like that. Try spending time with him while they two of you are engaged in some mentally stimulating activity, and talk to him.
  21. fishrrshortae
    Wow this sounds like an awful experience to have ... Honestly a guy who leaves and uses you for sex is basically using you. When he doesn't want to bother with you any more, he'll probably stop talking to you altogether. It's not worth it. There's no future in it and it only delays the healing process, as well as the ability to find someone who IS worth it.
  22. fishrrshortae
    I'm not so sure that your bf would never cheat, sorry but I've heard many girls say that about their significant others and turn out to be wrong. I am concerned about the fact that he knows it bothers you and hasn't made any attempt to limit contact or include you in the friendship, to get to know her personally .. Try to see if you three can all go out some time and see what he says. If he makes excuses, that's something to pay attention to.
  23. fishrrshortae
    I tend to agree with Whiterabbit. There was a woman I know who found her husband also frequently traveled for work and found he had been looking at escort sites and for personal ads where he was going. Everything else was fine and he assured her that he was only looking. He also expressed concern that she was not trusting him like before. This lady is one of my mom's friends and I am sorry to say that he later admitted that he had lied. He had been visiting escorts since he was a young man. My mom's friend finally learned the truth when her gyno found both herpes and chlymidia
  24. fishrrshortae
    There are other things to consider as well, things that sometimes people don't consider at all before moving in: 1). Management - Some beautiful apartments have horrible management which will make living there a nightmare 2). Neighbors - Check to see what kind of apartment complex it is. Do professionals and older people live there, or is it a like a frat house? Depends on your preference. 3). How old the building is.. older buildings tend to cost more to keep cool and heat, raising your utility bills.. many older buildings even have foundation problems, leading to pesky insect or leak problems. Keep that in mind and look for newer apartment complexes
  25. fishrrshortae
    I agree with Anti Love. It sounds like you are both clinging desperately to each other in an unstable relationship ..
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