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fishrrshortae

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Everything posted by fishrrshortae

  1. fishrrshortae
    RayKay is absolutely right. Hun I was in your position, pregnant at 19 and had my son at 20... not by a married man, but from everything you have said, it sounds like he's not showing you any major commitment. The only way you can allow these things to happen is if you don't feel you deserve any better. That being said, here is some advice I hope you strongly consider: 1). Give the child YOUR last name. 2). Stay with your mom. Trust me, you WILL need help at times 3). Don't even consider moving upstairs. That's just ridiculous, and a VERY bad idea 4). Consult an attorney and start figuring out immediately what your rights as an unmarried mother are, and what his rights as the father are (visitation, finances, etc...) Honestly I don't think your future with this guy seems bright. That being the case, I hope you are standing up for yourself and making him own up to his responsibilities as a father.
  2. fishrrshortae
    Maybe you shouldn't have to try to "mold" him into being his best, or to make it work .. It seems that you recognize he was not the one for you. Recognizing that is really important and will help you feel better. In the meantime, it might help to keep yourself busy, both to meet people and not dwell on the past.
  3. fishrrshortae
    Honestly if I were in your position, I'd be quite reluctant to take my partner back. Was it cheating? No, technically not, but does it indicate that she has feelings for him? Probably. It wasn't just once, it was three times, after all... why set yourself up for more hurt down the road?
  4. fishrrshortae
    kevin I am also 23, and let me tell you, my # isn't wonderful. But a lot of that came from a really troubled past and if I had known then what I know now, well.. I would take back 90% of them. Please don't hold it against her because there isn't anything she can do to change it anyways.
  5. fishrrshortae
    Hey everyone, I have a question for any parents of toddlers. My son is 2 1/2 and I just recently started taking care of him full time (during the school year, my dad takes care of him during the day). My son had been in daycare and had done well there as an infant and up until he was about 1 1/2, but hasn't had much contact with children his age since then. My son can be pretty shy and intimidated when lots of other kids are around. In situations like these, I have to really coax him to go play with the other kids. That being said, I don't want to push him into doing something he is uncomfortable with, but I am afraid he is missing out on learning important social skills. Are there any other parents out there that can relate? If so, what did you do? I am thinking about trying to get him in a playgroup somewhere but I don't know many other parents that have kids his age. Thanks!
  6. fishrrshortae
    Hey Ta Ree I know you got a lot of responses but I just wanted to add that I feel your pain. I only have one child though (my son is 2 1/2) and frankly I have no idea how anyone has more than one because IT'S EXHAUSTING! I'm a student and so when summer started, I began staying with my son full time and it's quite an adjustment .. It is so hard staying at home with kids all day long!! Please do try to find a babysitter or someone to help out occasionally. Maybe there's a summer camp or some activity you can enroll your older ones in.
  7. fishrrshortae
    Hey miracle -- Just wanted to add my .02.. I wasn't married but felt the same way as you did after my son's father cheated. Felt like I had failed my son because his dad and I weren't going to be together. Then I realized that I would be completely miserable if his father and I were together, and I definitely wouldn't have been a better parent for it. You do what you have to do. Your baby can have both of you, even if you aren't meant to be together. You sound severely depressed... Have you told your husband you are looking into a divorce? Maybe it'll shock him into action.. either way I wish the best for you and your child.
  8. fishrrshortae
    You are so lucky you saved yourself a divorce! A good way to ignore her and move on: Think about what would happen if you did get back together, if you didnt "resist" her. Would you be happy? Probably not, especially after what she pulled. Think about what your future would be like with someone like her. It looks like you saved yourself the costs of a divorce my friend!
  9. fishrrshortae
    Gemma - I've had this problem with guys too, and while it's understandable that he's busy, he should definitely still be going out of his way to try to be with you ... even if it's just for a little bit here and there. This is especially the case because he's often not available. You can try talking to him about it. If he tells you that there isn't anything he can do about it, I'd say definitely walk. On the other hand, if he's willing to compromise, he might be worth it.
  10. fishrrshortae
    Gosh, some people are just nuts. Reading this makes me never want to date again. OP - Def take a paternity test. If it's your baby, uhhh... well ... you're in for a rough road, trust me.
  11. fishrrshortae
    At this point, I'm wondering if he'll even call. Before, he was calling me every day, and now... nothing.
  12. fishrrshortae
    Angela - that's true, but I'd say that at least 8/10 times, it'll kill the relationship. Ladybugg - I too have been there and done that, and I def agree that it can kill the relationship soon. I'm sure he was interested at one point but he's no longer calling OP and letting her know he's interested, which makes me think that definitely had something to do with it.
  13. fishrrshortae
    Yeah, I'm definitely thinking that for me, this is a dealbreaker.... Personally I just think it's rude and I'd hate to see how he acts later on if he's like this in the beginning!
  14. fishrrshortae
    Hm... is this something that should be a dealbreaker? Red flags and whatnot? Part of me wants to just talk to him about it.. the other part of me wants to talk to him and DUMP him too, cuz I'm irritated.... ugh.
  15. fishrrshortae
    Jensx I think his wife to be sounds extremely insecure. If he's marrying her, I would definitely let the friendship go. There isn't one to speak of anyways, and you will hate being friends with him as long as she is involved. I think for your own sanity, you should relinquish the friendship. Try to remember it for its good parts... and feel sorry for what is happening to your friend.
  16. fishrrshortae
    LOL yes RayKay it's the chatterbox!! Actually, I did talk to him about how he talks a lot and it got better, and things were looking up. He listened really well when I was talking to him about some problems a few of my friends were having.... I don't want to hang onto it just to have someone to date... I'm not really sure if he's worth fighting for though In other respects he is great, calls every day and showed a genuine interest in getting together so I don't know why he's being rude about plans
  17. fishrrshortae
    Hey girl A similar thing happened to me (back in Feb too! woohoo) Honestly yeah it does sound like he isn't that into you.. If he was, he'd be tripping all over himself to hang out again. It's going to suck for a while but I wouldn't contact him any more, and just chalk it up to a lesson learned. The best thing I could suggest, honestly, would be to wait a long time before sleeping together ... a few months at least... so you know you're on solid ground when you're getting attached. Take care!
  18. fishrrshortae
    I def wouldn't want a relationship with that dude Sounds like immaturity or nervousness to me, although others have pointed out that regardless of what causes it, it IS rude. I think it's rude even if he has no intention of dating you or anything... Just because, no one wants to feel like they're unattractive, and he's making you feel like that.
  19. fishrrshortae
    Hey guys... needing help here I started dating this guy a few weeks ago. To summarize, I thought he seemed nice and interesting. But we would make tentative plans to maybe hang out some nights. Instead, he would call me and tell me he's going out to his friend's house for a little bit then going to bed.. or things like that. He wouldn't even mention that we were possibly going to hang out if he got out of work early enough. This has happened 4 times. We had DEFINITE plans to meet up sometime on Sunday and spend the day together. Saturday I was at my college's graduation all day and when he called, I couldn't answer. So I called him back late, around 11:45, knowing he was out. He never called back, Sunday went by with no phone call, and I'm feeling like it's pretty much done. I'm really irritated with him and dating in general. So my question is, if he calls, should I even bother to pick up? Should I say something to him, or should I just let him talk to my voicemail and never call him back? Thanks ahead of time
  20. fishrrshortae
    Honestly it just sounds like she doesn't want to be with you and is reeling from the pregnancy. I acted the same way to my son's father when I was pregnant because I was suddenly forced to deal with the fact that I got pregnant by someone I did NOT want to be the father of my firstborn.
  21. fishrrshortae
    Thanks for the advice every1.. I am definitely going to bring it up the next time it happens, as nicely as possible, as I'm sure that would be the best way to go about it..
  22. fishrrshortae
    IAG - I do feel that way but then I get berated for "quitting" too easily, which I know I do, so I'm really trying hard to act like this isn't a huge deal. I'm a complete commitmentphobe and I'm trying to change that by realizing that no one is perfect and I shouldn't expect him to be. It's a complete mystery to me how anyone falls in love with anyone else!!! He does, Dako.. He asks questions about what I think about things.. And in other ways he's great, he calls at least once a day and he shows a genuine interest in seeing me and discovering all of my "layers" as he calls them. But he is definitely much more of a talker than a listener.
  23. fishrrshortae
    He doesn't usually interrupt for trivial things like "omg let me tell you what happened..." It's mostly to get his thoughts/feelings/opinions accross. He's thoughtful and intelligent, but I don't want to hear his thoughts and opinions 24/7 because frankly, it's kind of boring! There are some other issues as well, so I'm not sure if this is just one thing I'm nitpicking on.. I tend to find things I dislike immediately and then dismiss the relationship as pointless.
  24. fishrrshortae
    You just woke up and you have already used the word "pontificates" in a sentence?! When I first wake up, all I can muster is something like "Mmmmmmnnnnnnbllllahhhhhh."
  25. fishrrshortae
    I agree with someguy that examples are probably needed for clarification ..?
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