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A Guy who tells me hes broke on the first dat is a loser.

I agree, with you...actually my other friend got married and she basically stopped hanging out with me,, but we still kept contact but when i asked her to get together she told me she has to bring her boyfriend- they werent married at the time.. She never wanted to hang out with me without him.. I just think its rude. Were not friends anymore, because i dont see the point. I think most people choose relationships over their friends.. I never did that to any of my friends. But maybe i should have.

I agree with you, I put some friendships over relationships and because of it my relationships did not work out. I just could never picture myself getting married and stop talking to my friend... He could even just talk to me on instant messenger and he doesnt. Its like he made a choice to put me out of his life completely. When I have me his fiance she insulted me and was quiet the whole time. I also know she has done this to his other female friends. Now I remember at times when me and him hung out, she called him but he didnt tell her he was with me. One time i ran into them at a store, she walked away from him-said nothing to me. Maybe she has said some things about me that im not aware of and told him to keep away from me. -------------- Again, friendships are very important, they can indeed be long lasting, however I think having a perspective that friendas warrant priority as relationships don't last...is kinda setting yourself up to destruct the relationship in the first place. My relationship is a priority, so are my family relationships and friendships, and at different points some have more priority then other times. Right now my priority is on my romantic relationship and my relationship with my mom. Friends are still there, but I can't put them at the front right now. Not if they are his priorities.

I'm more upset because he doesnt value our friendship to exclude me to his wedding. its an insult. More so than me watching him marry. I guess she has control over him like alot of wives do over their husbands

From what I hear its a huge wedding, So i know I was just not personally invited. I agree sounds like he made the choice to cut contact with me...

I posted about this before but being that my friends wedding is in 4 weeks, im 100% certain i am not invited. im a girl and hes a guy but we have been friends for 10 years- strictly platonic. he was one of my closest friends. Ever since i found out he was engaged- a year ago he has stopped talking me, getting togther with me, even online-hes there everyday never messages me, i messaged him months ago and he wasnt talkative. I was under the impression we were great friends and would always be friends. I miss him, I know his soon to be wife does not like me and she was not friendly to me.. So is this common for a male friend to not invite his female friends to his wedding and then act like they dont exsist? im hurt by the whole thing. why was i even friends with him to begin with? seems like a waste of time.

Well i called her and she didnt call back, so i called back again a month later and sent an email. she left me a message and an email, saying shes been busy moving, i just sent back an email saying i would call her during the week. I just never have. I feel she could contact me again through email or phone. If she truly wanted to talk with me i think she would. She just doesnt make an effort.

I had a childhood friend who I was best friends with. We told each other everything and went through alot and i thought we would be friends forever. Her and her boyfriend moved in about 8 years ago. Ever since then shes been cold to me. She never invited me out with them and also when she was visiting her parents who live around the corner from me, she never called me once to say she was right there. I invited her out many times, she never came to meet me. Then one time she met me with her boyfriend, she started making fun of me- telling me my secrets in front of him. i basically told her shes out of line and left. I never got a real apology though she admitted she was jealous of me and sorry. Anyway I attended her wedding reluctantly. And she acted as though we are very close. She sent a thank you note but i was put off by the whole thing and didnt get back to her till a year later. She did not call back right away. After a month I called again and sent an email. She replied back leaving me a message saying shes moving to Canada on May 1 and shes been busy. She also emailed me saying shes been busy so she hasnt gotten back. I wrote back saying i would call her again but i just never have and that was like 3 months ago. I feel like she should be trying to contact me again. Just because I didnt call back doesnt mean she shouldnt contact me. I feel really uncomfortable calling her. I dont trust her so it would be a very fake conversation. I never had a friend i was close with like that since but maybe im in denial about who she is now. Should I even call her?

Honestly I had happy memories until I was 11 years old when my father screaming- kicked out and my grandmother was put into the nursing home. Its a long story but from 11-14 I was molested, raped, thrown in the street, verbally abused, by teachers, friends, strangers and family members. My grandmother was a holocaust survivor too, ashame my family put her in a nursing home where she was beaten all the time- no one even cared. The memories are hard to get over. At the age of 11 my childhood ended.

Thanks hazl, The nursing home experience actually wasnt good because my grandmother was severley depressed when i saw her, she was also beaten, and was being verbally abused there. Watching my father in bed wondering if hes dying for about 7 years everyday I think has made me obsessed with death. I also didnt have much friends because i was too ashamed for kids to meet my father. I used to lie and say he wasnt my father. I just realize how much of a miserable kid I was and how i am very obsessed with death now. I think i may inherited some of my fathers weirdness. which bothers me now

Can someone let me know if this was dysfunctional?

yeah at the time i brushed it off but now im thinking of it more and i think it was totally messed up, weird, and also what does this guy think of me to ask me that? I just lost respect for him and want to have less contact with him after asking me that.. He couldve just said well how is he a jerk, what does he do? He just came out and goes "DOES HE BEAT YOU UP"? i think its disgusting. I havent even told my Mom and my brother he said that.

Maybe cause he beats his wife or his friends do? I thought it was bizarre he would ask me this I was just talking, making small talk, he barely knows me at all. I feel disgusted by his question

I was visiting an older cousin, we were just hanging out, talking.

I dont know what I fear. Honeslty I dont think about anything, my anxeity takes over. All I think about is my heart pounding. I have gone up there and said " I dont care, im going to do this" It never works, no matter what I do I have a panic attack. its like this crazy uncontrollable thing I cannot stop. I even did breathing exercises. I had about 6 shots of vodka one time and I did my presenation and got a B+. I was so nervous i brought an orange juice container to class with vodka mixed in and drank it.. I didn't have an attack but I felt nervous. I dont really want to get in the habit of relying on alcohol though. My doctor prescribed me aetenol- did nothing. I was thinking of asking for valium now. I think its ashame because I am very talented, creative, and smart. Its ruining my life. I'm fine speaking with people and friends, just not in a classroom/auditorium setting.