fishrrshortae

Yet another update folks I texed him today and told him that I can't meet up til 8:30. I said if that's too late, maybe another time. Without explaining, he txted me back and said that it is too late. A few more texts later, I was getting the vibe that he's pissed off or just unintersted.. I am guessing this is nearing it's end, because every time I make effort he's shutting me down. Anyways, thanks to everyone who posted....... I really really really REALLY appreciate it!!

I agree with the above.. It seems like he likes the security of having you around. He is right about one thing, it is probably good for him to be single to "find" himself. That doesn't mean, though, that you should sit there dawdling while he's busy figuring out what he wants. Tell him for now that you think he's great, but his comments have concerned you and you think it's best to remain single for now. Date other people. If he's ready one day for a real committment, you may or may not be available. It's all in the timing. Good luck!

I agree that it's very possible, but beware of accidentally getting stuck in the Friend Zone by being her shoulder to cry on!!! but yes I think there is a definite possibility of that. And I personally see it as a good sign that she enjoys being alone, because it shows that she's not trying to bounce right into another bad relationship. She sounds like she knows what she wants. That's a definite plus for any potential relationship you may have. Good luck!

Hey every1, thanks for responding!! A quick update, he texted me (gotta love those texts ](*,) )to let me know that tomorrow night he's going out with his friends. He wants to see me before then because of our plans, but he doesn't know what time he's meeting up with them, and until then I don't know when I can meet up with him b/c of my own schedule issues ........... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hey guys, I will try to keep this quick. I just started seeing a guy, it's been about 2 weeks now... Anyways, I haven't seen him since Monday (It's Friday today). And although he texts me every day, most of the texts are at night and he goes to bed shortly after texting me. He texts me randomly throughout the day, but only random things, nothing of much importance. He never calls, and like I said, I haven't seen him since Monday. I know we just started dating, but I'm feeling disappointed by the lack of calls and the fact that I haven't seen him all week. We have tentative plans this weekend, but I have the feeling even if we do go on this date, I won't see him again for another week, or no calls, etc. My friend told me to tell him that I'm running out of text messages, so then I will be able to see if he calls me. But I don't want to lie to him just to make him call me more often!! Any advice???????????? Thanks guys, you're the best!!

I would say, when you actually DO have the talk, be honest with him and let him know that if you two are going to be together, you need more communication from him. I know it must not be fun to have a seemingly great guy who never calls. But he seems to be pretty open about communicating with you and whatnot... so give him the benefit of the doubt, and be honest with him. I bet things will work out fine if you do. good luck!!

I have been cheated on a lot ... I never went back to any of them because even regardless of the cheating, they weren't really worth it anyways.

You said she never cheated on you, but she did. It was not a physical affair but an emotional one. Basically, it's when your partner starts confiding in someone other than you. It sounds like she had a thing for him emotionally, if not physically. Is she interested in being with you? Does she still talk to this fellow? Basically your only hope is if the answer to #1 is yes and the answer to #2 is no. And also, the little lass would have to learn that you should be her #1 priority, and YOU would have to make her more comfortable talking to you about things. Maybe she was talking to him because she felt you didn't listen to her, or weren't doing something she wanted. If you are both willing to work on things, find out now what it is she was missing from you.

Hey lady, I am concerned about a few things you wrote. You said that you tried to break up with him a few times -- Sounds like there are warning bells going off in your head about something, doesn't it? The bottom line is, if you don't trust him, you should work on your own issues before you are with ANYONE. I know how you feel because my dad has also cheated on my mom, I have been cheated on by damn near every boyfriend I have had ... but the bottom line is, trusting someone takes WORK. It is MUCH less about his actions than about YOUR feelings. If you are not comfortable right now, maybe you should take time out from him. The real test of your relationship will be when you two are apart. Because you are always together, you will never know how his insecurities will be when he is doubting what you are doing. He has to trust you as you have to trust him. His insecurities scare me too, because a man who is secure when you are not with him is a LOT more likely to trust you and a LOT LESS likely to cheat for fear of getting played himself. If you must, take time for yourself. Tell him you need time to get your thoughts adjusted because you're having trust issues right now. Do not blame him for them -- they are your own problem and yours to deal with. See how he reacts. If he does not give you space, he is definitely not the one for you. Take care and good luck, sorry this was so long!! It is just borne from experience.

HE IS AN A-HOLE! sorry but he is. I can't BELIEVE that he would not only admit to cheating on you, but 1). Blame you, and 2). Rub the new girl in your face Count yourself lucky that he finally admitted it to you AND let you know (all in one shot!!) what a piece of crap he is. Let the other idiot have him, get STD testing done on yourself, and head for the hills as fast as you can!!! P.S. I've been cheated on a lot, by almost all my boyfriends in fact, but I can honestly say not one of them every tried to blame me for it nor did they rub it in my face. no remorse = nonhuman.

It would be nice to know that she's not sleeping with anyone else, but in this case she is basically telling you she is. It sounds like she's not at the point where she wants to settle down with one guy. If that's okay with you, then by all means go for it! (And use protection, please). If you want a relationship with her, I'm not sure now is the time for it. Either way, ask her exactly what "open relationship" means...

Take him on surprise dates. Be attentive and thoughtful, and if he seems one hundred percent responsive, tell him you want a chance for something real. He sounds great ... go get him!

He has been calling and texting a lot since that happened ... Just haven't made plans to hang out yet. I really want to see him again and I hope he wants to see me too ...! I'm afraid this will just end up fizzling out with no real discussion as to why. Feeling very insecure Thank u everyone who has replied so far!

If he is with that girl, he sounds like a jerk. Feel sorry for her, and forget all about him. Would you really want to get involved with a guy like that?? Honestly, he sounds completely immature. If he calls you to hang out, laugh and say that the guy you're dating might not appreciate it, and tell him you have to go. Don't even bother!

Hey girlie, I agree with Echo on this one .. If he's working on things with you, he should NOT be getting drunk with other girls... and having them in his bed (aka setting himself up to fool around). I would say as painful as it might be, it might be time to remove yourself from the relationship if he isn't willing to get serious about it. Count yourself lucky for not marrying him. He sounds completely unready, esp. since this girl is someone he has a history with. Let her have him -- get something better for yourself.

I agree that you should stay away. Mun think about it. Fast forward to an imaginary place when you and him are finally together. I think it'll be one of those situations where the grass is greener -- you may finally get that commitment, and realize that you never really wanted him anyways. He sounds like he's pretty immature. Instead of just walking away from his relationship, he cheated (probably...).. would you want to be with a guy like that?? Every time he felt insecure about your relationship, he'd find comfort with someone else. And the pattern continues. Don't fool yourself in to thinking that him wanting you back is what YOU really want. I strongly, STRONGLY recommend that you try to get away from him as quickly as possible. The longer you are stuck on him, the more time it will take you to find the one you're really supposed to be with. Someone who won't use you like he is trying to do. Best of luck!

I just started seeing this guy that I go to school with. He's attractive, smart, funny, and we have a ton of fun when we hang out together. We are very comfortable around each other. We mostly know each other through a mutual acquaintance, and had only small-talked up until we ran into each other at a restaurant and he asked me out to lunch. So anyways, last night we slept together. We have only been seeing each other for a week, which is really not like me. We talked about it before we did anything. After talking about my concerns, I felt comfortable, and we went ahead... I know he doesn't want just a one-night stand, and I know he likes me very much. Either way, was it too soon? Is it still possible to have a "normal" relationship?

Tell your girlfriend, for all you know you could have given her an STD. Let her decide, she might stay with you and work things out, she might not. Don't let her stay with you because she's oblivious. And I agree with the others - If you love a girl, you keep yourself out of situations like that so it's not even an issue. Sounds like you were enjoying the attention.

Hello, I know that many others have responded but I wanted to let you know... I was not engaged when I found out I was pregnant. *I* was the one considering an abortion, because one look at my boyfriend and I knew that he was completely clueless. He couldn't even take care of himself, and he had no idea. True enough, he was not in my child's life for the first year (our son is now almost 2 and a half).. I can't believe I ever considered abortion. Don't get me wrong, I would never try to talk someone out of it, but if you have doubts about how you will feel after, there is a reason for it. The night my son was born, I held him in my arms and cried when I realized that I almost never had that moment, that I had actually considered ending his life. He is the love of my life, and it is difficult, but I managed without his father's help for a long time. Fortunately, his father has entered his life now that he is ready, and has been a very good father and very stable support. He realized what a huge mistake it was to walk away. I hope it stays that way for our son's sake, but I know that either way, we will be fine. Best of luck to you!

Is she really the type of person you'd want to be with ..??? She obviously likes the attention they give her, for whatever reason, and even if she did stop hanging out with them, I'm not sure you could overcome the loss of respect she gained by her actions (or in some instances, her inaction). While you may not be looking for this, I'd say move on and find a more self-respecting woman.