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fishrrshortae

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Everything posted by fishrrshortae

  1. fishrrshortae
    Honey lots of girls I know blow off their friends when they get boyfriends... I don't want to say it's "normal" but it's definitely common. At the same time, there was nothing wrong with you suggesting a girls' night out and she didn't really handle that too well did she? Like agent said, it helps to spend time with other people. Don't get so focused on what she is or isn't doing; go about your life. There really isn't much else you can do.
  2. fishrrshortae
    I am going to try to find out what is happening with the case ... they are going back to court in 2 weeks. From the sounds of it though, I'm not sure the Judge was horribly impressed with the mother for her lovely choice in partners. He sounded kind of irritated that the mother was sitting there defending her boyfriend enthusiastically.. "He's been clean for a month, Your Honor!" UGH. I am also going to write the Judge a letter stating everything I heard, I don't know if it will make a difference but the Judge knows me and so will humor me at least.. RayKay- I think it's more stressful to me as a mother than anything ... I honestly can't imagine bringing that turd anywhere NEAR my child. Most parents do everything they can to avoid their child being exposed to people like that...!!
  3. fishrrshortae
    I don't understand.. how does her being married for 22 years make her values better?? I would think that it would make her logic worse, throwing away a family that she built herself 22 years ago. Agree with antibarbie ... But Dallas, you said that you'd be gone if there were no kids. Then you might as well do it, because in your noble quest to do the right thing, you're also being kind of a jerk by not being honest with everyone involved...
  4. fishrrshortae
    Umm. didn't you say you moved in together? I'm guessing this is a really bad time to question whether or not you should be playing the field........
  5. fishrrshortae
    Is it possible that you are being unrealistic about your attraction to this woman? Sometimes the fantasy is much better than the reality.. I mean, after all, this is a woman who without blinking an eye, would rip her own family apart to be with you. Need I make another point about her values? I mean frankly, knowing that someone would be willing to do that to their family shouldnt be a turn-on. It should be, what we here at ENA like to call, a big red flag.
  6. fishrrshortae
    I work in our local courts.. and sat in on a case where a young unmarried couple had a child, and the father was suing for full custody of the child. An issue his attorney brought up was that the mother was now dating a guy who was physically and verbally abusive, and the abuse had occurred many times right in front of the child. The father of the child had retained a private attorney; the mother stated that she did not want an attorney for the custody proceedings. Because private attorneys are so expensive, it seemed to me that the father was willing to do anything to get his child out of the situation. He seemed very, very concerned. The mother acknowledged that her new boyfriend, being the winner that he is, is taking anger management classes and is refraining from abusing illegal substances. An adjourn date was scheduled, and both parties left the courtroom. I also left the room as well, and went outside where other parties were waiting to see the judge. The mother was standing next to this guy and I could hear what they were saying because I was right next to them. This guy was cussing her out, calling her a stupid * * * * * for having a one-nighter with the father and telling her he wanted to get the hell out of the building. He also said that she looked like a "fat pig" in the outfit she was wearing. She said she had to go pick up her daughter from daycare before she could take him to work, and he just mumbled "f**k you and your daughter." And walked away. I was shocked that this guy would talk to her like that, right in front of all these people, not even trying to be quiet about it. It broke my heart to think about that little girl living with him, and her mom not even standing up for her. I don't even know why I posted this, other than to vent about my frustration
  7. fishrrshortae
    Personally, I think it's a little ridiculous to break up an otherwise normal family because you don't feel a "spark" after 10 years and 2 small children. The effects of divorce are devastating. I'm sorry if my opinion comes accross as harsh, but I stand by it because I don't feel that OP is looking beyond his... sex drive.
  8. fishrrshortae
    Honestly, while your affair may have been exciting, reality is less so. Of course you feel passion for the other woman! She hasn't raised your kids, or agonized over bills with you, or stuck with you for a decade. I don't know how much of a "connection" you would have felt with this other woman after 10 years and 2 children. Either way, you were the one seeking her out, and you found her. In the meantime, your wife is sitting there thinking everything is fine and lovely in her marriage, and you are disrespecting her by being dishonest. The least you could do is level with her, at this point, about what is going on. Otherwise, when she finds out, it will be out of the blue. I think you owe the mother of your children much, much more than that. Will she divorce you? Maybe, maybe not. Either way, you have kids to think about, so try to remember that the next time you're mulling over the lack of a "connection" in your marriage. I also question how dedicated you are to working on your relationship with your wife. I mean, you DID call the other woman again just to make sure where she stood on the whole issue. What would you have done if she had said she was no longer interested in you? Would you leave your wife, or would you stay with her so you aren't alone?
  9. fishrrshortae
    I think the act of marriage (wedding/ceremony, etc) isn't about demonstrating your feelings to your partner, but is instead intended to let the community (family/friends, etc) know your intentions.
  10. fishrrshortae
    His first emotional coupling? I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is.. I mean, it's not great that he's doing this whole webcam thing, and it obviously makes you uncomfortable, but I think you're reading too much into it.
  11. fishrrshortae
    Okay first of all, if you can't even afford to get a pregnancy test, OR are too embarrassed or uncomfortable to see a doctor, then you really need to figure out how you're going to deal with all of this. Because if you are pregnant, the $10 cost of a pregnancy test is going to be NOTHING compared to the costs you will incur for either an abortion or having the child. That being said, you really need to act like an adult at this point and figure out what is going on. It's irresponsible to think you might be pregnant and not be able to get enough money together for a pregnancy test, but you are still able to go out and get drunk enough to cause you to feel ill the next day. No more drunken hangovers. No more making excuses. Figure it out somehow.
  12. fishrrshortae
    I've had similar things happen .. In one case, the day after my ex broke up with me, he started dating my best friend (they broke up 2 weeks later)....... Yes, it does get better... Just realize that he is obviously not the one for you, and you are free to find the one who is. Good luck hun P.S. NC seems to be the best policy at this point ...
  13. fishrrshortae
    My son has been much better since I posted and got some insight .. other than minor tantrums he hasn't done anything. Thanks so much for your ideas and help guys!! I don't feel so alone any more
  14. fishrrshortae
    P.S. Her saying she could just change her tattoo to mckenna as kind of an afterthought shows just how she's NOT making your kids a priority, she's too busy having her fling.
  15. fishrrshortae
    Mustang - You have posted a LOT about your wife. The bottom line is, she is as confused as hell and you have to do what you can to NOT let it affect you and the kids. Don't let her come around unless it's to chat with the kids. Don't talk to her unless it's about the kids. Stay out of her misery, it's not worth it. And find an attorney to get the divorce going. Nobody deserves what you are going through, and she is being horribly uncaring about you and your kids' feelings.
  16. fishrrshortae
    I've never been in love with anyone before.. nor do I think I ever really knew how to love anyone. Then my son was born, and I love him to bits. Seriously, no one I date will ever be loved by me as much as he is.
  17. fishrrshortae
    Exactly what was his specific complaint ..? He didn't like the pictures, or the way you were dressed, or what?? Either way it doesn't look too good..
  18. fishrrshortae
    Shorty is right on this one .. Unfortunately, until your sister is ready to move on, nothing you say will affect her love life.. It is better to just be there for her when he treats her like crap. Hopefully she will get sick of it soon and will make the decision to stand up for herself.. This sounds kind of silly, but one of my friends had the same problem with her best friend and her bf's man (he was a total jerk..) My friend Cori began making a log, writing down all the times her bf's boyfriend treated her bad and what he did and all that.. then one day after the latest incident, Cori just handed it over to her. It was like, 10 pages and that only covered a month of their relationship! Cori had written EVERYTHING down.. every mean thing Evan (the bf) did to her friend, every nasty thing he said to her.. I think it had an impact because shortly after that, Cori's best friend Katie dumped her Evan.. thankfully so, because his behavior was becoming physically abusive..
  19. fishrrshortae
    Hey everyone, thank you SOOOOO much for the responses.. I was actually almost in tears when I put up the post because I was so desperate for answers! I have read many books and articles about toddler behavior but nothing seemed to work ... either way I got a lot of empathy from all of you (which I desperately needed!!) and I also got a lot of good ideas!! His behavior was a little better today.. I took out his radio from his room when he started playing the "I want it/I don't want it" game about his music being on.. he screamed a bit but seemed to understand that it would be put back in if he was a good boy for the rest of the day (and he was!) Anyone know how long this phase lasts?? I've heard anywhere from a few months to a few years!
  20. fishrrshortae
    I think you should talk to a counselor at your school. Many schools will provide at least a few counseling sessions free of charge. Definitely look into it, and stay the hell away from your mom as much as possible! She's absolutely toxic!
  21. fishrrshortae
    Maybe you are bisexual ?
  22. fishrrshortae
    I concur with all of the above.
  23. fishrrshortae
    Hey every1, Please please PLEASE help.. My son (almost 3) has been behaving really badly for the last month or so. For some reason, all of a sudden now he has started this thing where he'll say "I want it!" (whatever "it" is).. then immediately after he'll say "I don't want it!" And back and forth, regardless of what I say to him.. For example, when I put him down for naps I turn on his fan. He'll immediately say, "I don't want it!" So I go to turn it off, then he'll say "I want it!" and he'll go on like this for an hour.. If I just give up and walk out of the room and tell him to go to sleep, he'll scream his head off for an hour straight! This "I want it/I don't want it" game occurs for every little thing. I've tried everything I can to stop it and nothing's working.. He just throws horrendous tantrums if he doesn't get his way, screaming and yelling and trying to hit whoever is trying to calm him down. I'm at my wits' end with it. It's gotten to the point where I've come thisclose to slapping him but I really don't want to do that.. but he's trying my patience beyond its breaking point! I find myself getting extremely angry with him when he acts like this, and I am ashamed to admit that sometimes I have just let him scream for an hour straight because I just can't deal with him. I feel like the worst mom in the world because I hate being around him when he acts like that. I am not at all enjoying the time we spent together like before, because he's always acting up .. and I dread having to take him anywhere. Please help, anyone
  24. fishrrshortae
    lol thanks meow for the advice.. you're right, I will not be so quick to turn them down...
  25. fishrrshortae
    I don't worry about it a lot...... it's just annoying when guys come up and try to talk to me, and I just feel like it's pointless to bother, ya know?
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