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ariyadhana

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Everything posted by ariyadhana

  1. ariyadhana
    It depends on how strictly you are defining virginity, but it is usually thought of as someone who has not had vaginal intercourse. Most people do not define it as "any sexual act".
  2. ariyadhana
    She asks you to check her email? I'm sorry but that seems strange to me. Do you have no sense of privacy in your relationship? Why would she want you reading her email? To me it sounds like she wants out of your relationship but can't be straight up about it, so she's leaving clues where she knows you'll find them.
  3. ariyadhana
    You ask if it's a "good sign". In what context? You don't want him to be interested in you, and I don't see the relation between him remembering a piece of information that in a purely sexual relationship is trivial, and whether or not he will go down on you.
  4. ariyadhana
    I agree that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. We all travel a different road and end up in different places for various reasons. Don't beat yourself up because you are not where you think you should be! You have grown strong through adverse experiences and it is time to look forward, not backwards. Forget about your age, forget about how you compare to others. Think about what you need to accomplish! Going back to college and finishing your degree might be a good first step if that is what you want. It's good to have a solid education behind you.
  5. ariyadhana
    There's nothing wrong with admitting there is something wrong. Just because you go to the doctor for help doesn't necessarily mean you will end up on anti-depressants or something like that. Have you tried to change your lifestyle? Not eating properly could have a lot to do with the feeling tired and down. And when we are tired and down we get more depressed and don't take care of ourselves. It's a vicious cycle. It definitely sounds like you have low self confidence though, and aren't functioning as well as you could be. Would you consider talking to a counselor at school? They may be able to help you take on a more positive attitude and adopt a healthy lifestyle.. Then if you started feeling better you wouldn't even have to go to the doc. Depression can be caused by many things, it could be as simple as an iron deficiency. So if you do go to the doctor make sure they check everything out and that they don't just stick you on an anti-depressant unless you feel you have no other alternatives, as I have found they are very hard to get off and in my opinion society is over-medicated.
  6. ariyadhana
    What does he do to put people down? Anyone has the power to do that.
  7. ariyadhana
    That is a bit weird. I guess you could exchange email addresses and I'm assuming when he replies it'll have his name in it.. But uhh yeah, I can't understand how you managed to go out with him twice and not get his name..
  8. ariyadhana
    Have you given thought to taking time off to think things through a little more? I know a lot (I thought most?) in the UK do take a gap year. I went to university not knowing what I wanted to do, and took a year off after my first year to do some travelling and get my head clear. If you want to travel that is a good way to get to know yourself and what you truly want to do. Don't feel bad about not knowing what you want at your age, very few people I know stuck to exactly the program they started with in university.
  9. ariyadhana
    Absolutely not. We all look for different things. Just because a guy isn't right for one girl doesn't mean he won't be right for her friend.
  10. ariyadhana
    I think the best way to get over being shy and quiet is just to involve yourself in activities that you enjoy that involve other people. It might take awhile but you will eventually come out of your shell. The school year is almost over and yeah it is definitely a hard time of year to make friends, but you are young and the future is bright. There is lots of time after you graduate and in college to make friends, and that is an excellent time to try out new activities too. Don't try and be someone you are not, or act like you wouldn't normally act, that will only turn people off. Also I wouldn't worry about not having a prom date. Honestly it is only one day out of your life. I didn't have a date either, and I was freaked about it at the time, but looking back now I realize it's just not something that matters.
  11. ariyadhana
    I think if you called him, and the call ended up costing $100, of course you should help pay for it. I don't think that doing so is going to say anything more to him than that you are making an effort to split the bills you jointly incurred.
  12. ariyadhana
    You are 18, what is the situation you are in that you feel you are unable to break free from?
  13. ariyadhana
    It sounds like ingrown hairs, but it's a bit odd that they showed up so quickly. Talk to your Mom and get to the doctor- I know that might seem weird but it's the best thing for your health.
  14. ariyadhana
    First I think you need to make decisions for yourself and not worry about what your friends, or anyone else, thinks. I know it's hard to do that at your age but try to be strong and make the best decision for YOU. If you decide to go with your best friend, you could simply be honest with the other guy and tell him that. Tell him that you are just going with someone as friends. It is rejection though and his feelings probably will be somewhat hurt. I think it is important to make your decision sooner rather than later though so whoever you don't choose has the opportunity to ask someone else.
  15. ariyadhana
    I think you have amazing self-worth! It takes a strong person to hold out on NC and move on! Kudos to you!
  16. ariyadhana
    They can kill you.
  17. ariyadhana
    It sounds like you are making steps in the right direction! I bet being an RA will really help you develop your leadership and confidence, and you'll really start to feel better about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself other people see that and are more attracted to you. I wouldn't worry about "trying" to get a girlfriend though, just focus on improving yourself and involving yourself in the activities you enjoy, and things will happen
  18. ariyadhana
    Maybe I'm missing something but how will marrying her solve the problem of her not being able to work, drive, go to school, etc?
  19. ariyadhana
    You are 21, she is 19. Why are you getting married when you've barely began to live? What's the rush? You really don't sound like you are ready for it. Live and explore, and if it's meant to be she'll still be there in a few years. In my opinion you shouldn't get married. I wanted to marry the guy I was with at 19, and I'm soo glad that never happened. I was love struck, but I was also young and dumb, and I still am. You are barely into adulthood and you will both grow and change soooo much in the coming years. Most people I know who married young deeply regret it.
  20. ariyadhana
    No you are right.. It's what I'm trying to do, work on myself. It's just so hard to get past the pain of him being out of my life and the uncertainty of our friendship. I know if I had him back in my life today it would be the same old crap.. But then there's the fear of losing him forever through this break... Yet it's the only option I worry that he'll never forgive me but I guess that's outside my control and all I can do is work on myself.
  21. ariyadhana
    It is time to let go, or at least take a break.. I realize that. I just hate that I drove him to this point. I had feelings for him, and combined with my depression that lead to all sorts of jealousy and insecurity issues.. I pushed him away so much and put him through so much to the point where he just said enough is enough. I called him on Friday and he hung up on me immediately. I don't know what to do.. I feel so heart broken and empty without him, it's like going through a breakup.. Tonight is so painful I just want to call him and beg with him to give me another chance. This is the last thing that was ever supposed to happen.. He told me how much he cared about me and how this would never happen. I feel betrayed but I am trying to understand. I also know calling and begging isnt going to do any good.. I just feel so pathetic and needy right now and dont know how to cope.
  22. ariyadhana
    Hello, I haven't posted on here for a while. Basically, my best friend whom I've known for two and a half years and I have been fighting pretty much constantly over the last year- I was jealous of his relationships, insecure, generally depressed and whiney, etc. It got to a point in January where he told me he no longer considered me his best friend, and that he wanted a break to get over his anger towards me.. So we took a month, things seemed better after that. I thought we were starting to rebuild. Then I broke a promise to him (I looked at one of his blogs that I promised I would stay off).. When I told him about this he freaked on me, and it is understandable as I did break a promise when things weren't very strong between us to begin with.. Anyways he refused to talk to me for several weeks, saying that he needed time.. I got tired of waiting and about a week ago I sent him an email saying that if he didn't want to be my friend anymore he should just tell me.. And so he did. "I do not wish to be your friend right now".. It's the most awful thing he's ever said to me.. I feel like we went from best friends to nothing in like 6 months.. It's horrible and I don't know what to do. This is complicated by the fact that he just moved to a new city 2000 miles away in January, which doesnt make for the best situation to try and mend things. I'm so heart wrenched though, I've never had such a close friendship and now I have driven him away.. I don't know what to do, I know I have to work on myself. I am so mad that it has come to this though, that I pushed him this far.. He was truly someone special and now I am at a loss and feel so empty and broken.. I got weak today and tried calling him but he hung up on me. I know everyone is just going to say go no contact but it is so hard and painful as I don't have any other close friends really and I am so mad at myself for ruining this
  23. ariyadhana
    Perhaps it would be more useful to get involved directly in groups or organizations where you can practice taking a leadership role? I think the confidence needed for leadership comes from involving yourself in working with other people, not reading about it.
  24. ariyadhana
    Have you thought about focusing on yourself for awhile? You've been in a relationship for 6 years, so since you were 16 or 17 I take it. That is very young to have gotten into a long term committed relationship, and maybe now is the time to explore life on your own for a bit. You talk about wanting to find someone to make you happy, I think you need to learn to find happiness on your own first, and then positive people will flow into your life when you aren't even looking. Don't let your happiness depend on a man! And you are young, so keep your head high, you have lots of time. What things do you enjoy doing? Immerse yourself in activities that interest you, and focus on YOU for awhile. Love will happen again, but make sure you love yourself in the meantime. Easier said than done I know.
  25. ariyadhana
    What do you want out of life? I'm kind of going through the same thing right now.. Learning how to detach myself from the actions of others, because I can't control them, and can only control myself. I think the answer is within you. You can't change them, but you can change your reactions, thought patterns, and the way you treat yourself. I'm currently reading a self-help book that is actually helping. It's called something like "Finding the inner you". Cheesy but helpful.
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