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About Stinkweed

  • Birthday 12/09/1987

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  1. Thanks. Well, I'm in a band, but it's just for fun, not at all for money. I mean, all my bandmates, either go to school and/or work, so, band is not an occupation, but still a passion. Seriously, one of my bandmates was kinda sad that I had to leave he said "Man, what am I going to do now? I was always looking forward to the next show and now there's no more of that for like 3 months" and it's been kinda hitting me hard how much I miss my friends, my band, and my guitar. I'd be much happier if I had at least one of those, right now... I play a Gibson SG, doesn't really belong to me, I've kinda got it on lease. A friend has let me keep it indefinitely (hey, in my defense, he does owe me a good amount of money that I pulled out of my savings...). We just recently got more professional gear (an actual half-stack and all... sounded so much more awesome than the old amp I used to practice with, which unfortutely burnt out not long before I left, RIP, lol). I play punk, metal and all that stuff, but I do enjoy many other genres (one of my favorite songs to play is Hey Joe, by Jimi Hendrix). But it was so awesome, last couple of shows we played, everything went perfectly just like in practice, and especially on the last one, everybody was so into it, and people were telling me aftewards that I was shredding, lol. I'm not sure how true that was, but I wasn't gonna complain! Just, after finals (last semester), I was pretty depressed with how many things went sour this year and how quickly time flies by, and I'd just pick up my guitar and noodle around it for hours and It'd just make me feel so much better.
  2. Well, I'm on the journey now, and had to leave my guitar cause of some problems involving me missing the right plane, etc... But I miss it so badly. I've watched bands play and I see what they're doing and it just makes me wanna grab a guitar and just play it for hours. I normally play electric, though, but I found a good deal for an acoustic one (the fact that no amp is required for acoustics is a plus). Watching Neil Young, Sonic Youth, and several other bands just makes me so jealous that they have their instruments and I don't, lol. I simply cannot wait another month and a half to play my guitar... I'm not a good player and have no clue when it comes to music theory, but I was getting pretty good after I got done with finals, cause I'd just noodle around the guitar for hours, and my bandmates were all impressed when I suddenly played a pretty solid solo during one of our songs at practice.
  3. I really like it... I've been missing my guitar big time lately. I might just get one here and sell it before I go home to get some money back.
  4. Ellie, yeah I wasn't planning on coming out of the blue and starting to talk about these things, lol. I'd only do it when it is in context, lol. Heck, I know I, myself, would be spooked too if an older sibling of mine, or my parents came out of the blue with a serious conversation like this. Anyway, I guess I'll try to do as both you and blender suggested, including the part that blender mentioned about getting out more often... Thank you both and best wishes.
  5. Hi Ellie, I'm doing better now... Still lots of work to do, and a hard time focusing... But I'm managing to get through it. Anyway, so, would the occasional word of advice be a bad idea? Just a couple of suggestions I consider important (well, they were crucial to me)? One of them is simply not being afraid of doing whatever you want to do. When I was younger, for some reason, I really was afraid... It's why I had no hobbies and no passions whatsoever. I was a hateful anti-social a** too, and a terrible role-model, which is why I think it is kind of my fault my sibbling is going to turn out the same way... I'm definitively a better role model now, but it seems like they just pick up on the negative, lol, as ironic as that may sound. I mean, when you're a kid, who would you rather want to be when you grow up: the janitor or the astronaut? In fact, I don't think it would be so bad if they turned out to be similar to me... I mean, sure, I'm unable/unwilling to maintain/start any kind of human relation ship because I tend to be skeptical of people, even though 95% of the time it turns out I read too much into things and I'm wrong. Anyway, I just think that it'd suck if they end up being some tool... I see people who enjoy being out with their friends... It looks like it's the healthy thing, and that they're just normal... I wanted my sibling to be normal as well. Anyway: Would a couple of suggestions be a bad idea?
  6. I'd appreciate it very much if I could get some input on this. I realize it's a long one, and not about "She Cheated on me", "Want to ask her out but I'm too shy" or "my ex contacted me after 100 days NC!" or anything more interesting and exciting like that, but please, do bare with me. Ok, I've got a younger sibbling, and they used to be different from me... Very different. I've pretty much have always been pretty introverted. I mean, I remember I had a hard time making friends as far back as the 3rd grade. Anyway, I hit an all-time "low" when I was 15 until I was almost 17. When I was 17, I changed, but it was a very hard change, and by the time I was 18, and a senior in HS, I finally was who I wanted to be. I was not the guy sitting quite at the corner of the classroom anymore, and in all my classes I knew everybody, and everybody knew me. I couldn't help but think "Wish I had been this way since I was 14-15" because this change was like being young, but actually being young, not only physically, but at heart as well, and it was like turning 15, basically. I mean, it's hard to explain, but I was kind of goofy and immature, and I knew that in college, things wouldn't be the same, so basically I wished that I didn't have to grow up so soon, and that I could enjoy feeling as young as I did as if I had all the time in the world (like when you're 15, and you still have like 3 years of high school left to be a kid). I so wanted to start a band, skateboard, etc, but it felt like I wouldn't have time to do those things, that are mostly for kids, in college. Anyway, now in college I'm back to being a loner again, and things are very different. I'm definitively a different person, and naturally, I have many more responsibilities and less time to do fun things (things I never did when I was 15). My point is, that every since this sibbling of mine started nearing that age, they started to act a lot like I did back then (you know, angry at the world, self conscious because I was overweight, except this person is not overweight at all). And I tried pretty hard to give advice and dropped hints that that wasn't going to be a very cool age/stage in life if they wouldn't have a more positive attitude towards life and if they didn't understand that you're only 15-16 once. They just don't seem to listen to me... And I'm afraid they'll turn out just like me: feeling constantly bored, having no life and studying from sunup to sundown and getting burnt out, etc... I wouldn't have time to start a band, for instance. I'm not feeling lonely, but I do constantly feel bored, like I wish something different would be going on next friday night, but it's always the same. However, sameness does have its advantage to me, because I like to schedule everything, and be disciplined about what I do throughout the day, everyday. Anyway, it especially annoys me when people can tell somehow that I've never had a girlfriend, for instance (well that's the impression that I get)... I mean, I'm going to a school were almost everybody's idea of a fun night, is playing Xbox and whatnot for 5 hours straight and talking about computers, etc, and among all these people, they can still tell I'm a "loser who's never had a girlfriend." And what annoys me about that is not that I've never had a girlfriends (I'm not looking for one either), but mostly that it sort of feels they can tell and it kind of embarrasses me. It's pretty tricky to explain. I know that if I starred in a reality tv show, it'd be the most boring show ever. Anyway, enough about me, I just wish my sibbling would know better than letting life turn out this way for them (and until now it pretty much has... I know they don't have many friends, and I've seen their face when my parents talk to them about school, etc)... Especially since this person used to be very sociable a year or two ago; a leader, if you will. I mean, I want them to figure things out on their own, but I'm afraid that if they do this, but turns out it's kind of late (like it was for me... I mean, I can tell late from early. When it's late you wish it were earlier, and when it's early you sure as heck don't wish it were even earlier) they'll end up like me, unable to socialize with the majority of people... I realize most people will tell me to let it go, but just thought I'd ask for some input. Thanks and best wishes.
  7. Well i do lift because I want to build some muscle and I do cardio to burn some calories, and I THINK that this is the only way I'll be able to lose all this persistent extra fat all over my body... I mean, I used to do only cardio only, lots of cardio, but it didn't get me where I wanted, or even close for that matter... And for about 2 weeks I did weights + cardio, both 5 times a week, but it was horrible. I mean, I actually lost weight (which isn't my goal. I'm trying very hard to stay at the same weight, but at the same time building muscle. In fact, if my weight goes up a couple of pounds, it won't matter as long as I get stronger at least), and had a hard time lifting... Anyway, these last couple of weeks I tried the new routine I described on the original post, and it was great (I was able to push myself further on both cardio and lifting). So, yeah, I'm going to be sticking to my new routine, at least for a while...
  8. Ok, you might think I'm crazy or something... But I just need to know, because even though I'm impatient, if there's the faintest hint of light at the end of the tunnel, I can be pretty tenacious. My question is about body fat percentages... After starting to slow down and perform sloppily at the gym, I started to follow a new exercise routine that's a bit less exhausting (well it does tire me out a bit less than the one I did before, which wasn't working the way I wanted it to... let's not go into details), but more healthy. It's the exercise routine in the body for life website. So, it combines weights 3 times a week alternating with cardio 3 times week. I started doing it the exact same way it is described on the website, and I'm eating pretty healthy already, and I believe I'm consuming enough calories. So I know I'm not being very precise, but given that, how much body fat percentage would the average person lose by strictly following the body for life program (for building muscle and losing fat), in about 3 months? Just curious, I'm not expecting any miracle 20% body fat losses in just 3 months and stuff. But I'd just like to know what to expect, so if by any chance it doesn't work, I'll just change to a new routine that might work better for me. And if it seems to be working, I'll stick to it, and even if it takes an entire year, I'll just stick to it till I reach my goal... The reason I'm asking for numbers, is because until now, progress hasn't been an easy thing for me to monitor. I'd like to think that I'm making some progress, but sometimes it just doesn't seem like it. So, if you could please tell me something realistic... Thank you and best wishes.
  9. It depends on your body type, I guess. I, for one, used to eat pretty much like that (I'm about 6'2") and worked out too, but it was doing more harm than good. I ended as I am now, all flabby and stuff... Now I'm working on building muscle and I'm eating a lot more, of course. So, yeah, eating too little is bad. Especially since you'll quickly gain the weight once you start eating like you did before... Ideally, the goal is to eat right instead of too little.
  10. I really don't know what to do. I mean, I'm not planning on starting to swing away at the next dude who laughs in my prescence. I mean, violence is not my thing. But I just wish that I could do something so they won't keep doing it, you know?
  11. Well it does suck, and people make a big deal out of it. In fact, it's the first time I see people around me make such a huge deal of it. Everywhere I went... They don't realize that some of us don't care, and instead label ALL of us as "losers" because only "losers" do not celebrate this day because they can't get dates. What if we don't want to? I can relate to you, because I don't have many friends either... well actually I don't have any friends, but I wish I had been stuck in my house... I wouldn't have had to take any more crap. It's all I ask for: peace. And it's not like I'm a person who consciously likes to get into trouble and makes fun of people or something. No, I don't think I've done anything to deserve it.
  12. It wouldn't have been bad to me if so many people didn't have sticks up their *beep* perpetually making them want to humiliate and pick on others (things that could've just as well happened any other day, but today just happened to be like the 5th day in a row...). So I guess I'll have to agree on how terrible a day it's been... I don't care about the wasting money on candy and flowers for some woman 10 years from now I wouldn't even remember, who in turn wouldn't even remember me either. That money will come in handy in the future.
  13. A little follow-up on this thread: on which I doubt I'll get many more replies seeing as how it is no longer up on the front page... Anyway, I still don't have a clue about what I should do... I wish there were something like that movie, school for scoundrels where they teach the guy to be a bad*beep* or something. I really don't know what to do... Please, any suggestions? If only people would learn to mind their own business and let the others do their own thing...
  14. That's the thing! If I were in high school, I wouldn't have cared, because well, I'd been just a kid back then... It would've been expected. But now? I'm too old to do so many things, but it seems we are never too old to be "losers" (I put quotes around it because I know that's how I'm seen by those *beep*heads, but it's not really how I feel about myself). Why should I change, if I was so happy before these... incidents... started? I don't think I brought this unto myself... I'm not seeking approval by anyone... If I were, I'd be constantly trying to please them all, and talking to them kissing butt and all that stuff. I don't do that.. What I seek is just peace. It's all I want! To walk down the street without people staring at me, and tryin to be smart*beep*, etc. I don't wanna fight, because I just want peace for me. Is fighting the only way, then? Because I just know that I can't keep "turning the other cheek." Ugh, I'm sick of that too... I know counseling would be an option, but knowing myself, I'll never do it... Especially if they'll want to prescribe drugs or something. no way!
  15. Where do I even begin? Ok, these last couple of weeks, I dunno if anybody's ever felt this way, but it's felt like everyone wants to pick on me. It's like they wanna start something. I dunno. First this guy who I don't even know who was handing out flyers, there looking like a really *beep* beachboy wannabe, and said something that i consider was insulting. I did nothing, because maybe it wasn't supposed to be insulting (like to a regular person), I just didn't take any of the flyers. I just "turned the other cheek." But I just never ends! I've seen people, I'm almost sure, were making fun of me and talking about me. But why? I don't even know these bastards! I don't understand, I always just mind my own business. I mean, I never bother anyone, I pretty much don't talk to anyone, I don't see a possible reason why I'd attract such bad attention, especially since I can't even get the good attention from people who're good. I'm really sick, and trying not to cuss in here... But God, why do I always have to get *beep* in the *beep*? I don't understand! What did I do to these people. I'd understand if they were "friends" taking advantage of me, then I'd just send them to hell. But random people? Why? Everybody wants to pick on me, everybody wants to fight me. I'm not just being paranoid, not 100%, at least, and that's for sure. I can pm more details on a couple of other things that have happened, and you be the judge on whether I deserve to go to the loonie bin or something. But I mean, I just don't understand... This didn't happen to me in high school (not in the last 2 years, at least, which is when I made the most friends after moving to a different school), which is supposed to be when it DOES happen, not in college! I mean, I'm usually a peaceful guy. I'm not the best at using words... But for the rest, I take care of my body, I don't mind anybody's business but my own, I'm not greedy, I love my family, and for all I care I could just as well become a monk or something. In fact, that'd be better, cause I'd be away from society... But out here, man, I just can't take it anymore... It can't happen AGAIN!!! I'm not a violent person, but I just wish that one day I could snap like those guys who shoot at people, so I can end it all, and end them all finally... It's bound to happen. I mean, I'm no professional at this, but I guess I'm no different from those guys in the end. I don't know how to learn to manage my anger differently... And I'm afraid it's what's going to happen if I don't learn... Either that, or I'll just move away from anywhere near people (at least people full of *beep* who can't respect the others around them). Please help me... I just feel like hitting something right now, because it's so unfair! I've never done anything like this to anyone, even when I was the one with friends and had the chance to pick on others... I NEVER EVER did it! I hate this school because of this, because I can't fix this anymore... I can't change myself, and I don't want to. I just wanna be respected, just as much as I respect those... theM! I'm afraid that wherever I move, if I did move, it'd be the same...
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