furakura

I can totally relate to how you feel. In the first month after my breakup, i would wake up feeling like there's a hole in my heart and feel so absolutely alone but it will get better over time. I am still feeling alone and abandoned three months on, though i have learned to accept that life have to go on even without him. You can do it too!

1) Do you feel that you'd rather never see your ex again than be friends with him (and find out sooner or later he/she's happy with someone else)? I would rather not to see him ever again and i seriously doubt i can be friends with him anyway cos he stated very clearly that we cannot remain friends when he dumped me. At this point in time, i hope he has found someone who can make him happy. 2) How bad was this break-up for you INITIALLY? 1 - I couldn't eat, sleep or live for a while; i thought i'd die. 3 - I went on my life as best as I could, but there's a big hole and i miss him/her so much 3) Was this the 1st break-up as bad, or have you gone thru similar (more or less) ups/downs before? It is my 1st real break-up and it hurts a lot cos it's one of the events in a chain reaction linked to my decision to move back in with my parents three years ago. I really regret moving back cos i am moving nowhere in my chosen career, am estranged from my only sis, i'm being emotionally abused by my mom again after managing to get away for 5 years, lost my beloved pet dog and i got cut off from most of my friends. 4) Do you feel you were so hurt and reacted so much to breaking up because (any and all that might apply) i) you were never dumped before by someone you cared this much ii) you loved this ex so much, he/she was like no other iii) my ex was my emotional rock during the LDR cos i have very serious on-going issues with my family. E.g. emotional abuse and violence - my dad physically attacked my mom twice in one night 5) Do you feel that a majority of this pain is maybe rejection, and that you can move on and love others, but having a hard time with rejection? I would think it's more of rejection and total abandonement. His cold and cruel words still ring in my ears nearly three months on. It bites that he chose to end things the way he did. 6) Bonus rhetoric question: Do you also feel amazed how the person you were so in love with few months ago could be/seem/sound SOOOOO cold/cruel when he/she wants to break it off? Totally.

Nearly three months ago, I was dumped via email after a 8 months LDR and exactly two weeks after returning from visiting him. He tried the disappearing act by refusing to pick up my calls to his mobile but he failed cos i managed to get him on his landline. Honestly, i never thought that he was such a coward and the news that he cheated on me made it more devastating for me.

1) 8 months 2) 2.5 months 3) He was lonely in the LDR and communication issues. 4) Me & Him = 27

My ex dumped me very firmly via email/phone, telling me we're no longer friends, i am not to contact him again and that he never wants to get involved with me ever even in the event i was pregnant with his child. He did contact me a week after the breakup via sms demanding that i tell him if i was pregnant or tell him to f*** off. It's been over 2 months but i still feel crushed and question myself constantly. I can't help but wonder what did i do to make him reach a decision to flush me out of his life with such determination?

Hi at95, Congratz on making so much progress moving on Thank you so much for giving me hope cos i am still feeling rejected/abandoned/extremely hurt after over 2 months. I do hope i can become as strong as you have very soon and post a similar thread

Hi michou, I totally agree with Yvette. If your ex was serious about sharing a future and turning the plans you both made into reality, he would wait and not call it quits cos he "cant do the whole ldr" thing. My ex gave me the same reason and the fact that he is lonely when he dumped me after i was planning a move to the same city in a few months. You have to ask yourself this: Can you trust him and think he will keep his words this time? I know you still love him but you have to remember, he actually got cold feet within 5 months. Do you think he can actually wait for a year?

Nobody's perfect so don't be too hard on yourself

I totally agree with you there HITJM. My ex gave up on the relationship even though i was making the move back to the same city as him in a couple of months. His reason: he was lonely and he couldn't wait for me to move back. In his breakup email, he initiated NC so as to not "remind him of what could have been". It bites really since he has chosen to totally walk out of my life while i am left with his departing words "i will never get involved with you ever again even in the event you are carrying my child". Made me question myself still two months on about what i did to make him want to say such things and letting go of my feelings for him.

You will get over it and i agree with icemotoboy. I still have feelings for my ex despite the fact that he had chosen to totally walk over me and out of my life. You have to accept he is out of your life. It's not easy but it will get easier over time.....

Congratz on getting back together Don't feel bad and think that people may not appreciate a success story. Happy endings are good!

I did not enter NC by choice but when i got dumped my ex requested that i do not contact him ever again. The first few weeks were extremely awful, i had no motivation for anything and was perpetually upset. I kept asking myself what did i do wrong to contribute to my ex reaching his decision and was desperately seeking closure. In the end, i realised closure is something i can only give myself and it's best that i let him go and move on with my life. I still have deep feelings for him and a part of me do want him back but on the other hand, he has hurt me too deeply and too many times....

It's great to hear that the date went well

I'm very sorry that she turned out to be such a different person

Hi Spawn, I don't count the days either and i have my bad days too where i am reduced to an emotional wreck. But there are other things going on in my life and i can't stand around and grieve over the loss of a guy who chose the coward way out of a relationship while saying he respected me. Please take care too!