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About eviljedi

  • Birthday 08/28/1987

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  1. Hey enotaloners, over the past few months I've slowly became depressed and lonely. This is my current lifestyle: Wake up at 5pm. Eat. Surf internet/play games. Eat. More boring stuff. Eat. Sleep at 6am. I never thought I was the type to think about suicide but I'm beginning to understand people think about it. Sometimes when I'm driving I think about just speeding right into a lamppost etc. (Not that I would ever do it, I just think about it.) I only have one friend and we're not real close. I hardly ever go out and socialize with people apart from when I go to work - I just talk to people the minimum amount to get by. It's been 3 months since I've felt any real connection with anyone. I feel so lonely and disconnected from everyone. I can't remember the last time I stepped outside in the daytime apart from to go to work. I'm so scared that I'm wasting my life. I see all these other people doing great things with their lives and it breaks my heart that I'm not one of them. I see people travelling and having fun and I feel depressed that I'm missing out. In school they always said that I had so much potential and that makes me feel even worse about myself because I know I'm not living the life I should be. The worst part is that I have no motivation to do anything while I feel this way. I think about doing things but I don't feel like socializing etc while I'm depressed because it just makes me feel worse. I'd love it if you could give me advice people, and maybe make me feel a little better. Thanks eviljedi
  2. I have just realized something that has been staring me in the face for almost a year. I HAVE NO FRIENDS!!! It's really funny because I'm not shy or depressed about it or anything. I feel fairly confident in myself and I really don't care what other people think. I do however feel lonely because I have absolutely NO social life. I think another problem is that I really hate what I'm doing with my life right now, but I feel like I don't have any other options. I'm studying at university but I don't like what I'm studying. I don't really want to start studying something new either. If I drop out of uni, my parents will make me get a boring 9-5 job. I really don't know what I want to do. As far as friends goes, I used to be quite popular in high school. I would talk to everyone and be social with all my class mates. I didn't really see many of them outside of school but that didn't really matter since I saw them everyday. Now in university, I hardly talk to anyone. There are only 2 guys that I actually speak with in class. To be honest, I don't really want to speak to the rest of them. I feel more mature than a lot of them. Since I don't really want to be there I'm not that bothered about making long term friends. Outside of university I have a part time job. I'm quite popular in work. I speak to a lot of the people there and they seem to like me. Although I wouldn't want to spend my free time hanging out with most of them either. I only have 1 friend, literally. I hang out with him about twice a month and all we do is play video games and watch movies. The rest of my time is spent on my own playing video games etc. I don't have any hobbies or anything else I do with my free time. A few months ago I was getting invited to parties and the pub every now and then but I kept saying no. I really hate going out to get wasted or to "pick-up" girls. I don't even know what I want from friends or why I want them. I just know that right now I feel like a loser. It's funny, I actually feel "better" than most people I meet. E.g. If I meet someone new I am always judging them and thinking "he's a geek" or "she's ugly" or whatever. I feel like I am worthy of hanging out with the "cool" people and not just average chumps. I guess I have loads of problems or maybe I'm just anti social. I'd apprecate any advice from people who have been in simillar situations. Cheers eviljedi
  3. High self esteem comes from your self-image. The way your sub-conscious perceives yourself. If your self-image is that off a rockin' dude, then you will be confident. If it is that of a loser geek, you will act shy.
  4. Sounds like he likes you but he's too shy to talk to you or hold eye contact.
  5. Yeah, it's her loss. Act like it was no big deal. You said you get hit on all the time, remember?
  6. Don't take it personally. Attractive women give their numbers out to guys ALOT! It's no big deal for them, it's not like because you got the number that automatically means you are going out. It's just a number. Women will hardly ever be blunt and tell you strait to your face how they feel. It's easier for her to give out a number than it is to start a big conflict. Some of my friends go out and get 10-20 numbers a night, but then they phone them the next day and they ALL flake. I honestly can't believe this is the first time it's happened to you; it's fairly common. As for the reason she is talking to you...maybe she likes you, maybe she's unsure about you and needs to get to know you more, maybe she just wants to be friends. It could be a number of things. Perhaps she didn't know it was you calling? Maybe you should try and set up a less formal "date", coffee or some other low-risk activity. Also, remember that women are more attracted to personalities and characteristics than men are, just because you are good looking doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you. Take care bro. eviljedi
  7. Perhaps you were passionate about learning to drive/ride a bike but you don't really want to swim. If you really wanted it, you'd get it.
  8. This is true for when you have confidence but when you feel bad and depressed then how do you get the confidence to take action? You don't. It's almost impossible to "just believe in yourself" when you are feeling really down. You get passionate and decided that you really MUST change and then you take action without confidence. The belief that you currently have may be limiting you; you might not try things because you don't feel confident. Think about the first time you were learning to ride a bike or a car. Did you feel confident? No. You were probably really bad the first few times but you kept taking action without the confidence and eventually you succeeded. You gained confidence by taking action.
  9. Hey Luke. Of course I practice what I "preach"! With this simple technique I have managed to turn myself from a social reject into the life of the party. Here's how I done it: At first I felt shy around a lot of people. I wasn't good at small talk and I always felt self-conscious in social situations. My social life was completely dead! No one would phone me or call me to go out. I felt like a loser staying in on Friday nights when 'everyone else' was out having fun. I got sick of it!! One day I just snapped!! I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't being myself; I was being who other people wanted me to be. I decided from that moment on that I would do ANYTHING in order to change! I started by reading loads of books about social interactions. I read and read and read and I found lots of useful information but after about a month I realized that I hadn't changed. I got even more annoyed at myself and even more motivated to change. I decided that I was no longer shy. Now if someone said name your best quality I would always say confidence. I WAS a confident person. It was part of me now. I thought - "Okay, I'm a confident person. What do confident people do?" I started to act the same as confident people around me. I started talking to more people and not caring about what they thought. I started doing what I wanted. I started to be more myself in social interactions. I started making decisions and going after what I wanted. I started to talk to more girls and people started to respect me more. I started to become more and more confident until pretty soon I loved myself. At first I was a little worried I was becoming a narcissist, but I realized that this is what high self-esteem is supposed to feel like! You need to be around yourself 24/7 so why not change yourself into someone you love! You can see that if I had sat at home and waited for my confidence to increase before taking action then I would still be sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself. The important part was getting motivated; passionate and really wanting to change. If I didn't really want it then I doubt I would have ever taken action. It can't be something you would quite like or would be kinda nice. You MUST be 100% committed to changing!
  10. I agree with you. If you are telling yourself that you suck all the time then of course you won't feel good. Positive thinking can only help you so much though. You can sit and say to yourself, "I'm a cool person, I’m a cool person, people like me...." but then when you go out your internal voice will be saying "You're lying! You're wrong! No one likes you!" If you forget about what other people think and CREATE the life that you want, then it won't matter if anyone likes you or not because you will like yourself!
  11. I've been thinking a lot about self-esteem/confidence lately. Why do some people act really confidently and others are extremely shy? Over the past few weeks I've tried the majority of confidence building material available today. There is one major problem with all of it. Let's say you are a shy guy with low self-esteem. You buy a hypnosis product and a book about confidence and use them every day for a week. You will notice a change in your confidence and you will feel better. However this change won't last. Why do people have low self-esteem? Because they don't like themselves. Listening to hypnosis or doing confidence building exercises or affirmations or anything like that - isn't going to change the way they are. After the short boost in confidence is gone they will feel bad again because they haven't changed themselves in anyway. Example: If a guy feels bad because he doesn't have enough money to live the lifestyle that he desires then he will still feel bad after any hypnosis effects have worn off. He still won't have more money and he still won't be living the lifestyle he wants. So if you're shy right now and you have low self-esteem, how do you become super confident? Glad you asked. ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!! If you aren't living the way you want then TAKE ACTION and start growing and developing yourself. Take action, means become more like the person who gets the results you want (i.e. do what they do). Think about it, if you were living your ideal life; you had all the girls you wanted, all the money, all the charisma etc. Would you feel shy? Would you feel like you hated yourself? NO WAY! You would love yourself!!! You couldn't help but smile thinking about how awesome you really are!! The problem with this is that a lot of people feel like they need a certain amount of confidence in order to take action. If they don't have that confidence they don't take action and it turns into a vicious spiral of doom! I recently discovered PASSION after listing to Tony Robbins talk about state changing. He talks about different levels of passion (1-10) and how feeling passionate can help you get things done. I've had the feeling before but I never labelled it or consciously noticed it. It's AMAZING! You don't need confidence to take action. You need passion! You need to really want it! Get yourself pumped up like crazy!! Jump around listening to your favourite song!! Sing along!! SMILE!! Do whatever you need to do to get yourself in a passionate state. Once you take action it's just a matter of time before you get the results you want. As long as you keep taking action and changing your approach, you WILL get ANYTHING! Here it is again: Feel bad and shy --> Become passionate! --> Take ACTION --> Get results --> Feel confident and awesome!! Stay passionate. eviljedi
  12. Hey, I'm looking for some recommendations on self-esteem and confidence building material. I've got a few books but most of them are filled with the same bad mainstream advice. If anyone has any success with a particular product, please recommend it. Thanks eviljedi
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