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LostInMyThoughts

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Everything posted by LostInMyThoughts

  1. LostInMyThoughts
    No real idea how long. We're a small company, and she's part of the R&D group, and I'm part of the Dev group, so this could go on for quite some time. I know there are other fish in this sea, but sometimes you just gotta follow your feelings.
  2. LostInMyThoughts
    Thanks Arrowsmith. Anyone else have advice?
  3. LostInMyThoughts
    I'm very much attracted to a girl I work with, and I don't know what to do. We're in different teams, but lately I've had to work with her. I was attracted to her when I first started working here, but at the time I was married so I did my best to avoid her. Well now I'm the big D, so I'm not trying hard anymore. In fact I'd like to be friends with her (possibly more down the line). If she likes me, she's not being obvious about it. When we talk about work, she usually smiles at me, and looks into my eyes, but I'm not trying to read too much into it. Sometimes she waves hi to me, but I think she's just being friendly. I've asked about her, I'm pretty sure she's single, and outside of her team, I think I know her the best in the company. I'm just so scared to do anything about my attraction though. I feel like I'll be tipping my hand by directly asking her out, and I know that workplace relationships can lead to a disaster. Yet I still am really attracted to her, and want to do something about it. I think if I tried starting out with friends, I know I would have a better shot, then asking her out point blank. Any advice on what approach to take? I'm really at a loss here.
  4. LostInMyThoughts
    I know for women with sleep problems, anemia might be the culprit. My sister was iron deficient, and she was always tired. She started taking iron supplements, and it fixed the problem. Morale of the story: Go talk to a doctor.
  5. LostInMyThoughts
    I don't have to say anything; usually there is somewhat of an distinct silence, and then it happens.
  6. LostInMyThoughts
    I believe everyone is overly critical of themselves. Some more so than others, but I know that everyone I've encountered is tough on themselves. What helps me is to remember all the great things people have said or done for me over my lifetime. I accept compliments and praise by smiling and saying thankyou. Also if I feel really down on myself, I go out and buy a new toy.
  7. LostInMyThoughts
    Haha, I was such a mean grader; unless it was someone in my fraternity
  8. LostInMyThoughts
    Actually you should eat before and after you workouts for maximum efficiency. Good preworkout meals are a slice of toast with peanutbutter and a banana, or 1/2 a protein-cliff bar. Post workout meals should including carbs and protein. Eggs and toast make good post workout breakfasts, but a protein shake/mix will do the job.
  9. LostInMyThoughts
    Depends on your definition of sex is. But I usually start with kissing, then light touching, petting; at that point my partner is usually tearing my clothes off. The rest is pretty easy.
  10. LostInMyThoughts
    Nothing. You sound normal to me. Many people procrastinate. If you're getting all anxious, take the rest of the day off and go have fun. My freshmen year of college, I had 4 exams all on friday. I knew that I hadn't prepared for any of them, and after taking the exams, I knew I bombed every single one of them. I felt like crap, and I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Right before I went looking for the rock, I stopped by my advisors office and had a chat with him and told him that I felt like garbage because I bombed all 4 of my exams. He just said to go out that weekend and have a lot of fun and not to worry about them. I took his advice and had a blast. Of course on monday I got my exams back and I did poorly on all of them (I even got the lowest score in the class on my Honors Chem exam!). But I was prepared for the shock, and I shrugged it off. 2 years later, I graduated with flying colors, got a great job, and haven't looked back since. All I can say is, its tough right now, but if you don't let it get you down, you'll be okay in the end. Go and have fun!
  11. LostInMyThoughts
    How about peeing in her coffee? or Wait for her in a dark alley, and use a tazer on her. or Knock her out with some chloroform, then shave her bald. Other than managment intervention, your only other recourse is to steal office supplies then find another job.
  12. LostInMyThoughts
    In this situation, its up to your manager to respond. If your manager doesn't, then you can either take it up with their boss. After which, I would consult an attorney, and prepare to hopefully make money of these jackaces.
  13. LostInMyThoughts
    Holy smokes! I totally noticed the same thing at work. Weird.
  14. LostInMyThoughts
    If you dont want to involve management, you can tell her plain and simple "You are harassing me, and I'd like it to stop." If it doesn't, then I would take your case to you immediate supervisor and let them know that this person is harassing you, and it has to stop. Let them know that you approached her and told them to stop, but she ignored you.
  15. LostInMyThoughts
    It's a big red flag. Not that you shouldn't marry this person, but that you both could use some lessons in conflict resolution. Fighting (to me) is a normal part of a healthy relationship; but I think so many people get defensive during fights that the real problems are never really solved. Instead of it being an opportunity to address problems, its just a * * *-for-tat attack on each other. When people are angry, they say things they don't mean, usually because they feel disempowered. Saying hurtful things is a way to get that power back. From what you've written, your problems aren't insurmoutable. I think you might want to seek a premarital counselor, or a marriage counselor to talk about the issues. Don't look at it as going to see a counselor because your marriage is already on the rocks, look at it as preventative medicine. Anyway thats just my take. Good luck.
  16. LostInMyThoughts
    Being honest about your feelings is never a mistake, in my book. Even if the consequences of your actions result in something you don't want. It is more pressure, but sometimes its unavoidable. Now that you've said your peace, perhaps its time to chill out a bit, and take this as a time to learn about yourself and grow. There are some good ways to help get your mind of this girl. Try taking up some new activities, hanging out with good friends, making new friends, etc.
  17. LostInMyThoughts
    I guess I was being blinded by my own biases. Right now in my life, I'd rather not get into a serious relationship, and would much rather prefer to make friends with girls than get all tangled with them (getting some is of course a-o-k). As such I'm okay with being in the friend-zone. If you don't want to accept being friends, and you don't think you can wait for her to make up her mind, then perhaps you need to make a decision for yourself. Decide if you can continue to kick it with her and hope that she comes around, or tell her that you want some time to yourself to figure things out. As it is right now, what's going on isn't really working for you. Giving her the ultimatum to decide is the wrong approace in my opinion, and is putting undue pressure on her. Really its up to you to make the choice.
  18. LostInMyThoughts
    Things are a lot more complicated to offer an ulimatum like do you want me or don't you want me. Right now, I'd operate under the impression that she DOESN'T want you. Not in a negative way, but just think of it as you and her being good friends. You don't need to give her space necessarily by contacting her less, but definitely by toning your behavior down. If you force her to chose, and she says she doesn't want you, you'll have forced her to close the door and eliminate any real possibility of you being together. Would you rather be with her, knowing she wants to be with you back, or instead be with her knowing she still has doubts and is with you just to prevent losing your friendship?
  19. LostInMyThoughts
    If your parents are offering the money; I would take it the opportunity. They are providing for your future. The guilt is a normal feeling, but it really its your parents money, and they want to use it to pay for your education so that you can live a better life then they did. My parents did the same thing for me, as thier parents did for them. Losing out on a scholarship is rough, but doesn't make you mediocre. Neither does not getting into the medical program in singapore (I know that like Malaysia, Singapore has very limited number of seats for university). Do you know if there are banks in Austrialia that offer studen loans? In the USA, student loans are a very common and practical way to pay for college.
  20. LostInMyThoughts
    Height isn't a big thing, but it does play a small role I think, and everyone is difference. Some men love really tall women. I don't. My ex was 5'9 (I'm 5'11) and I didn't like it when we'd cuddle; her hair would be in my face Since the average height for men in the US is 5'6" I'd say you're going to be okay.
  21. LostInMyThoughts
    Can I have your stuff?
  22. LostInMyThoughts
    I would think twice before comparing choosing ones sexual preferences to choosing ones style of clothing. Being a style and identy has a lot more to do with social upbringings. I think your gay friend was right with his point. Its not that he wants to be straight, but being gay, he knows how hard it is to be gay. Knowing that, why would anyone would chose such a hard path. I know I don't chose to like women, I just do. I'm not attracted to men, they don't turn me on sexually, and I have no desire to be with one. It's not a choice, its just how it is. How about you? Do you choose to like women? Based on your theory, your just as gay as your are straight.
  23. LostInMyThoughts
    I've only tried to commit suicide once, I was five years old, and I held a knife to my throat. I couldn't to through with it. Ever since then I've thought about suicide so many times. Lately my thoughts go to suicide as a way to escape the pain and humilation of adultery and divorce. Sometimes i think of using suicide as a way to show the world how much I really am hurting deep down. Someone who was suppose to be the love of my life, and was suppose to love me till death do us part, turned out to be a big piece of crap, and it hurt a lot. My crux is that logically I know that my life is getting back on track. But there is this lingering feeling that I will never be happy again. Why bother going on living? I guess for me, its trying to have the courage to stick things out and hope that in the end, all this pain and suffering would have been worth it. I don't know what your story is bro, but I wish you would reconsider seeing someone for help. I know that every person is worthy of living a happy meaningful existence. I don't believe you're an exception.
  24. LostInMyThoughts
    If she says she wants to be friends, then take that at face value. From what you've posted, it sounds like something is holding her back--most likely having gotten out of a relationship so recently. As for pressure, it may not seem like you are putting any pressure on her, but take her word for it. Back off on the being more than friends bit. Let her have time to figure things out. How to act; act like a good friend. Do all the things that a good friend does. Just give her space, and try to be a hella cool friend. The worst thing that can happen is that you end up with a good friend. The best thing is the two of you find each other. I'd say its a win-win situation.
  25. LostInMyThoughts
    You're basically asking if you should start another affair. NO! I appreciate the situation you are in, and I'm not trying to take some holier-than-thou attitude. I just know that this road will end up with all 3 of you hurt.
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