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detox5

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  1. Hey Ziggy Im not sure this could help, but its under the same kinda situation, the girl I was chasing had to make a choice, between me that was living near her, or a guy that lived 5000 miles away, it was a long distant relationship that she wanted to finsh before I met her, I just increased that when I turned up. Basically, we really liked each other and stuff, and I said to her look, its either him or me, Im gettin sick of this, if you want to be with him or try it again with him, fine, ill leave u to it, but im not stickin around anymore, I cant handle it. So i basically said to her, do something, or ill leave u forever, we werent talking for a few days, and she finally told him, so i think she got soo scared of loosing me and acted. I mean she is a scared insecure girl also, so telling this guy on the phone was something huge, I cant imagine how much guts it took to do it, But she had to do it in order for her to keep me in her life. I think when girls get soo scared they think they are gonna loose you, they REALLY do something about it. Hope that helps mate
  2. You know dude i think i can answer all your problems, because ive been there. The honest truth, you need to sit down, and think about yourself, what you like about yourself, you need to think about how you sound, like how you sound, you need to like how you greed people, you need to like how you talk to people. I truly believe if you begin to love yourself others will follow, and its all about control, if you have control in yourself, authority figures dont matter, you still have a certain control about yourself. Take a long look at yourself, and start to say yea man I love how I greet ppl, I love me! It will be more than enough confidence you will need, and you will see that because you will form this great energy around you and people will become addictive to this energy
  3. Just an update, I called her earlier, but she didnt answer, I guess she was busy, but I left a voice message, I said to her Its only me, I said that I just wanted to see how she was. She called back an hr or so later, I didnt pick up, but she messege me, she said she got my voice message and asked how I was, shes being very distant and I think shes weary of me. Maybe I have let the trust down big time im not sure, I texted her after like few hrs after saying im ok doing little things and stuff and that i would hope to speak to her soon. Her message seems strange, thats not normally like her, I think she is annoyed at me, and is very distance dont you think?
  4. Im hanging in there, I find it hard to stay strong at times, I mean feel strong inside, but i havent messed up since I been NC. I just really want us to be ok. Im really not gonna mess up this time, im gonna try be soo chilled out with stuff and calm and that nice warm someone again like I used to be for her.
  5. You know, I do need reminding of what you guys just said, I know you are soo right, and I already knew this, but you just need to hear it from somebody else right? I mean, a few years back, i broke up with a girl, I was deeply hurt, more than anything ive ever felt in my life. I may have had the chance to sort things out with her, but I was soo hurt and in such a mess, that I think I drove the girl away. I would do NC alot of different times, I would mess up alot of times, I still question to this day, what was fate doing to me, for me to be hurt that much and get nothing out of it. But maybe it was a lesson to be learned. I have been weak this week, but I have totally stayed strong, I havent bugged her, havent messed up, and relationship talk, there will be none of that. I did ring her today, im not sure why, she rang back a few hrs later but i also missed the call, she texts asked how I was etc. Im gonna try and play it cool, I really dont want to loose this girl, maybe my first ex, and all that hurt, was prepareing me for what lies ahead for me now. I really and truly do not want to loose this girl and push her away like I originally did my ex. SO thanks for your words my friends, that helps
  6. So ive been seeying this girl for nearly a year, we have had our ups and downs, purely because she just came out of a relationship, and i guess he put alot of pressure on her and that effected us. She told me recently that she just wanted to be friends at the moment, she is happy with that, I guess its real hard commin out of a relationship and then going back in. I told her that i need along time away from her, and she said I do. Its real strange, because like 3 weeks before that I said I didnt wanna talk to her, and she chased me like 3 days after, i think she really missed me. But this time, I guess I must have pushed her away, I was soo scared of loosing her and just my actions of stuff was a bit silly, and just wasnt me. so I havent spoken to her since monday, even though she emailed me tuesday, and I just miss her soo much. When you have that feeling that someone likes you, you just know, the ammount of times I asked her if she wanted me, or if she still had any feelings for me, she never ever answered, she just said im sorry i cant answer that. Is this girl confused or what? She came online during the week, maybe lookin for me, because she never comes online and she knows im always online. What am I suppose to do, im soo tempted to call her just to say hi, I miss her soo much, do you think she misses me?
  7. You know, I remember that when I just went through that phase, where I didnt feel wanted, and I relied on friends and stuff, but they werent around. So i said screw it, like I said I forced myself into a hole where I didnt require anything from anybody except myself. For weeks I concentrated on myself, in my own mind, wouldnt get insecure about what others thought and stuff because I was soo sure of myself. Now this is the gods honest truth this happened to me, the next time i went out, I just get high on my own power and confidence because I know im soo powerful and at one withmyself, this gave out soo much energy. You know what I had alot more respect from people, alot of girls took a real interest in me, they really took notice. But i didnt care about that, I was concentrating on myself more than anything. So its something to keep in mind, if you can master yourself, amazing things WILL happen, because it did happen for me! Let me know how you get on, id love to help you.
  8. we have been friends for the last 6 weeks, things have been fine, we have the occasional argument etc, she still gets jealous when i talk about other woman etc, I know she really likes me back, by the way she acts, when she blatently trys to hide it. I know that i cant hold her or kiss her, so that when i see her i also pinch her side, its like touching each other to feel close if that makes sense. Its just hard when she said she just wants friends now, when i know that she likes me alot back. I dont think i should call her, i dont think im in any state of mind to judge, if anything she will have power, and 2nd i wont get much respect back when NC started yesterday, she emailed me in the morn, to explain again about stuff i was unhappy about, but we spokle about it the nite before and i thuoght it was all sorted. she didnt seem angry about how i been acting and stuff, she didnt mention any of that, she just said that she doesnt want anyone else right now and that she wnats to be on her own for now shes happy with that. we are alike, we tend to forget stuff that make us both angry, when there is more important things at bay, like she didnt even mention how much of an ar se i been acting like I just said.
  9. na we have been friends for like 6 weeks now, I think it was a tough time for her, to say she just wants to be friends. I mean im finding it real hard, becauase i can see in her eyes she really does still like me, when were out the looks she gives me, when she comes over with her friend, we normally get a takeout, the look she gives me, her face lights up, and she trys to hard it, she cant keep a smile off her face. Pinching my side etc, and my nose, its hard cause i think she wants it to, but just wants to be friends right now, I just know she likes me as much.
  10. I dont think its an excuse to call her, i just think that i really mucked up bad because of how i reacted to stuff. last 2 weeks we have had such a nice relationship between us, no arguein like we always have. its been raelly wonderful, getting along. I just want to call her to explain these thigns, because i just think that maybe she is so fed of me. Im just feeling bad, because ive been acting like a idiot all weekend, i really have, and i think she is fed up with my attitude this weekend. if we left nc on a good note fair enugh, but just reflecting on how i acted, and then i said i dont wanna talk to her for a while. I think i made things real worse, im not going on heart or instinct cause ive done nc before, but i just feel like ive acted selfish and a bum all weekend would it be a good idea to call and explain why i acted like i did? Just think that she is glad we are not talkin right now, because of how i acted.
  11. and another thing, it was my bday recently, and she made a real effort to get everyone out and stuff, she made a real effort for me. and i didnt even appreciate it, I was moody and moaney, and she was annoyed with me the whole weekend because i didnt show much appreciation at all, which is why i didnt hear from her. I didnt even show i appreciated her, now i feel even worse, she must really be fed up with me now, and is glad were not talking
  12. So 2nd day of NC, its hurting, but at the same time my head is spinning in circles, i think about stuff she said before. I know this girl wants to just be friends right now, because she has just got out of a relationship, and i guess she just needs some time. Recently we had arguments, i accused her of hanging out with other guys to make me feel bad etc, we sorted all that out before i said to her i need time away from her etc. She said that I should, but im just lookin back on an email, she said to me just give me time ok, your modiness and constant demanding of me is really pushing me away that was like 2 weeks ago. I said i totally respected that she said that, and ill do just that, she thanked me. But now im thinking, do i contact her and like say sorry and stuff, because I had really gone back on what I had said, and i understand that i have over reacted recently now and that ive been stupid. She must think the worst of me now, because i was moody again and demanded of her etc. I wish i could of chiklled out more when she first said she just needs her time right now, instead of me getting hot headed and upset. what should i do, contact her and say that i have been doing some thinking or what? cause now thinkin about it i feel like a * * * * tbh, and i bet i look fake to her or something i dunno I wish
  13. Hmm tough one. I know that i suffered on low self esteem, I had problems with groups, not sure this is the same topic, but i got shy with people also. I started to just talk to anyone, I would talk to complete strangers, I would ask people at the bus stop for the time and when the bus was coming. Sometimes I would talk as if a camera was lookin at me, and I was watching myself, I wanted to like how I sounded if that makes sense. So after I talk to someone, I liked sounding interesting and stuff. All these little things build up to your main goal. I think one thing I can say, that when you have to talk to all those people, heres a little mind trick that might help you. If you have to stand up to talk to these people, you are higher than them, you stand above them, they are lower, use that as power to make you feel strong and better. look down on them if you like, your the one in control when you speak, I know that when I speak in front of groups, and people I try to think im the one in power, because people are listening to me. Its just trying to pull strengths out of a situation in any way you can, and these points have pulled through for me. Good luck
  14. You know I feel the same way sometimes, my friends live far away, I dont drive, when I try and talk to friends they are busy or something else. So sometimes I feel lost, that no one is there. But then I take a step back, and think I dont need no one, I dont need anything, I dont require anybody. I love doing my own thing, im my own person, I love music, I love making it, I love reading stuff, I love watching tv. Focus on all your indulgences, I found that this helped me get out of lonelyness and put me straight back on track. At times I tell myself that no on likes me or cares for me, not for attention or not to feel sorry for myself, but just make myself so strong that I only rely on myself for comfort. I firmly believe that there is you and no one else, your the only person in there by youself, so with that in mind you should be so comfortable with yourself, love yourself and your own company, and thereforeeee lonelyness will disapear. Because at that end of the day, you dont wanna feel like you do, I hated it also, which is why you went down these roads and I feel really strong. Hope this helps
  15. Im a friend of lil mam. I told her to post here because she is deeply hurt, im glad i was on the right tracks, because i also said that she has to believe in herself, if you trust yourself, you will know how to live. She also said to me that this has happened many times, ive been through it with her, she just says when will it end, im tired of the pain, im just tired of all this. And quite frankly so am i, ive been hurt many times, and recently i have, but the main thing to remmeber, is you have no choice but to get strong. These are wise words, im sure it will really brighten her day up when she reads her replies, because her posts never get answered. Thanks all
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