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LostInMyThoughts

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Everything posted by LostInMyThoughts

  1. LostInMyThoughts
    Looking at it from a confident males perspective (not saying I am one...) I agree. It also depends on your partner and your relationship. Hypothetically, say you're with a women who is a little insecure about her looks. Not enough that its a turn off, but enough so that things like you checking out other women, bothers her. I think in this case, a person should be sensitive to their partner. Yeah it's natural to look at other women, and their is a fine-line between being sensitive to a partners needs, and being controled by them, but being sensitive to each others needs (and we all have needs and issues) is part of being in a healthy relationship.
  2. LostInMyThoughts
    As a guy, it's always nice to have someone else take the initiative. It's nice, it's easier on us, and its probably safer. I guess I'm still trying to figure out how women let me know they're interested, and well if a girl makes the move, it's a pretty easy sign. I don't agree with the gender-role issue of "Let the man make the first move." At the same time, a wise person told me this while I was complaining about men having to make the first move and why women should take the initiative. "Thats one of the few things we get as women." And that put it in perspective. Sure it sucks that as a guy I have to do the leg work, but our (The US) society is heavily male-oriented/dominated. It really changed my attitude on the subject. Yah its kinda off topic...
  3. LostInMyThoughts
    LadyBugg is right. It's a red flag. This situation does have a lot of hope, if *YOU* are willing to change *YOURSELF*. Especially because the two of you won't have conflicts regarding both trying to be in the spot light. What about her being the life of the party bothers you? What about her past bothers you? I think her having prior partners is a good thing; she has a better understanding of what she likes and what she doesnt like. That will make your life much easier.
  4. LostInMyThoughts
    It's not something that's unheard of. For example: One partner loves to give and recv oral sex, while the other does not like either. Or one partner was raised to believe that sex is dirty, and missionary is the only acceptable position, while the other is more open regarding sex and wants to try different positions. These aren't examples I'm making up either; I was in the first situation, and my best friend was in the 2nd.
  5. LostInMyThoughts
    I agree with Venus. This isn't going to be a win-win situation. The more time you spend with her, the stronger your attraction is going to get, and you'll be more likely to do something that you will regret. I would definitely stop hanging out with her alone, and decrease how much time you spend with the two of them together. Another thing to consider, should you decide to pursue a relation with her and start messing around behind your friends back, and she ends up leaving her bf for you, whats to say she doesn't do the same thing to you? I can't imagine how shiddy this situation is, so I really hope you can work things out bro.
  6. LostInMyThoughts
    They're not necessarily mutually exclusive. Are you sure that most marriages break up because of Sexual Incompetence? I'd like to see the statistics on that. Just because sex is a pleasure, doesn't mean its not important to a relationship. If two people aren't sexually compatible, and yet hold sex being important, the relationship is going to be stressed. Unlike many other aspects of a relationship (like say having hobbies), sex is very closely related to intimacy and love. Sex is described as the physical act of love. And there are many definitions of love. To one couple, love might be how much sexual desire they have for one another. To another couple, it might be how one partner always does the chores.
  7. LostInMyThoughts
    Is he divorced or separated? If he is only separated, and its 4 years, I'd say something is way off, and I'd really be leary about moving forward. I'm freshly divorced (sob sob sob...), so I can understand him not wanting to take things too fast. He is being honest with you, and I think he is protecting himself from being hurt again. People are different, so the time it takes to get our minds right will vary. I think you should be honest with yourself first. How long are you willing to wait before moving on? Whats more important being married, or being with this person. Once you've figured out what you are willing to do, then you can approach your bf and let him know your feelings. Its not giving him an ultimatem, nor is it forcing him to put a ring on your finger. Its just you telling him that you feel like the relationship isn't going anywhere, and you understand his reluctance. You do want the relationship to go to the next level, but you don't feel like its going to happen. Good luck.
  8. LostInMyThoughts
    It sounds like you two aren't on the same page with your relationship. If you two have been dating for a month, it doesn't sound like you are a booty call. I can understand why he might think you're overreacting (personally I don't think you are--he shouldn't have blown you off like that). Maybe you two should have a discussion to how you think the relationship is going. It might be too early, but then again you two have had sex... Good luck.
  9. LostInMyThoughts
    alonegirl, I'm real sorry to hear about this. Somethings really strike me about your post. It seems like you feel responsible for his decline, and that somehow it's your responsibility to take care of him. Do you really think thats true? I'm sorry about your pain. I've gone through something similar, and it's hard to come to terms with. I just let it all out, and hope that the next day things will be better for me.
  10. LostInMyThoughts
    No i don't think its that at all. I think she enjoys feeling you inside her, and gets to that point where she is really turned on and wants you close to her like that.
  11. LostInMyThoughts
    Guilty as charged
  12. LostInMyThoughts
    For the most part, people just want someone to listen to them. If they want to be told how wrong they are, they'll go to their parents. If they ask for the truth, then tell them. I'd just nod and agree and keep it in the back of your mind that this person is the type that blames others for their own mistakes. Just because you think someone is lazy, doesn't mean they can't have troubles. You're being judgemental, and forcing your beliefs on others to boot.
  13. LostInMyThoughts
    Hang out with people that interest you, but have dynamic, vibrant personalities. It's guarenteed to rub off on you.
  14. LostInMyThoughts
    I'd tell them the truth. The environment is not healthy or productive. Many of your coworkers talk badly about each other, and it makes it difficult to work. That says 2 things: 1) You don't do such things 2) You want to be able to work well Thats okay in my book. As for pay, well you dont *have* to take the job. Additionally, if you can prove that you deserve it, you can always ask for more than they offer. You never get if you never ask. Also ask whats more important, the money or working in a healthier environment? I was happy to take a paycut for my new job. I work more, and get paid less, but its heaps better than my former job! Good luck!
  15. LostInMyThoughts
    Okay back to reality... People are "addicted" to all sorts of things, like say cigarrettes. It doesn't mean they'll eventually start smoking rocks, and soliciting women for sex...
  16. LostInMyThoughts
    I think you have a right to be upset. But he also has a right to look at porn if he chooses. Although if he is only 16, it is illegal... Now you have to ask yourself, is this person worth being mad about. If so, then you gotta learn to ignore the porn. If not, then kick him to the curb and move on. There are plenty of nice guys who dont look at porn.
  17. LostInMyThoughts
    A bowling ball with *your* initials. JK. Do you have a picture of the 2 of you? Get it framed.
  18. LostInMyThoughts
    Yeah talk with her. Or when things are getting hot and heavy, you can always guide her hand.
  19. LostInMyThoughts
    Congratulations!!! You can talk about some of your concerns about your current job during the interview. Just make sure that you spin it the right way. If it sounds like you're complaining the whole time, that will look bad. Something like "At my current job, the work environment isn't positive. Many of my coworkers talk bad about each other, and that creates a very negative atmosphere. I'd love to find a position with a company where the employees are more professional." I mentioned in my interview that I had a former coworker who took credit for the work I did, and I didn't appreciate that. I've never had that problem here, and my boss goes out of her way to ensure I've get credit for the work I do. As for regret, look at interviews as being a 2-way street. The company is interviewing you to see if you are a good fit. You should be doing the same. interview the company and make sure they are a good fit with you. Do that, and you're gaurenteed to find a job that is better than your current one.
  20. LostInMyThoughts
    Try something new. Try something spontaneous.
  21. LostInMyThoughts
    Yeah that does suck. Although I remember reading some statistic that most young professionals will over their career have something like 5 jobs. You could try and change the work environment, its tough to do, but its possible. Try organizing an afterwork get together. THe more people socialize outside of work, the easier it is to get along.
  22. LostInMyThoughts
    I have to say, its a great thing you're doing, taking care of the elderly. Funny you should mention that talk behind peoples backs, because a lot of that goes on at my work; specifically from my boss (she is notorious for venting her frustration with someone to other people). I know she talks about me, but I can't control what she does, so I just lay in the cut and do my job. Your work situation doesn't seem like its going to improve much. I'd dust off the old resume and start looking for a more professional, satisfying work environment. I've got a job opening for professional drinking buddy
  23. LostInMyThoughts
    I called a few girls out of the blue just to go out and have fun. Thats all I wanted, and I was pretty upfront about not wanting anything serious. All I can say is let him make the next move. Unless your okay with just hanging out occasionally, I would move on if he doesn't make the next move, to show that he is interested.
  24. LostInMyThoughts
    I'm pretty unhappy with my job right now. It's cool, but my boss just irks me. Once I ensare my cute coworker into my spell, I'll probably go chase a nice cushy job with a fat salary--im underpaid and overworked All I can say is, don't settle for anything but the best. If you are unhappy start looking towards a change. What about your job makes you unhappy?
  25. LostInMyThoughts
    Mmm grape soda! Yeah its a crude analogy; it's from the 40 Year Old Virgin. Planting seeds. I'm sure most women would be charmed off their feet to be referred to as a plant, but we'll keep that a secret And you're right, I could try and track her down, but I don't know I feel like I might be stalking her. I did ask the head event cordinator if they had other similar events to volunteer for; unfortunately this was the only one that required non-specialized volunteers. The girl I was interested in, is actually part of a different charity organization. The two groups have some interests in common, so she decided to volunteer to help plan the auction. My problem is that I couldnt' remember what the organization is called... Part of me would like to ask the event coordinator since we had a good report; but that might come accross as weird too. I'll see how things go at work tomorrow, and if it comes up, see if my coworker would like to hang out after work sometime.
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