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LostInMyThoughts

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Everything posted by LostInMyThoughts

  1. LostInMyThoughts
    Lets not worry about whether or not the OP is the one committing incest. I also agree with Shysoul, that throwing around terms like gross/disgusting etc is not beneficial in anyway. They are two GROWN consenting adults. That said, my opinion is that both of them should seek counseling. Incest is not healthy and can lead to very very serious consequences. I wish the two of them good luck on this.
  2. LostInMyThoughts
    I don't think youre jealousy is affecting your rationality here. She said she had feelings for him. Getting into shoulds and shouldn'ts is a slippery slope. That said, I agree with you, that for the sake of your relationship, he outta keep a good distance between himself and this hussie. In your shoes, I would try and bring this up with him. Not that he should distance himself, but that you don't feel comfortable with him being around this other girl at mutual gatherings, because she's expressed feelings to him. Let him know that he's free to make his own decisions, and you're not trying to control him, but that again, you don't like the situation. I hope my late night ramblings make sense. Good luck.
  3. LostInMyThoughts
    I never disputed why a woman would have problem with porn. I just wanted to respond to the part about the myths and how they were used to prove that the "women's feelings about porn" were invalid. On threads where I've posted, that wasn't the case. It was a way to show another potential view (i guess much like what your op was about). This is just another internets issue that will never have a resolution: Is porn good or bad. Whats better, Apples or PC's. Xbox or Playstation. Windows or Linux. In the end the consensus is, both points are valid. If you have a problem with porn, dont be with someone who watches porn.
  4. LostInMyThoughts
    It's doesn't have to be a subsitute for the real thing. I dont know of any guy who would prefer watching porn to have actual sex with a real life person. But I don't know of any woman who provides their body for sex at any time, and in any way that their partner sees fit. I look at porn as an aid to masturbation. Just like a vibrator to a woman.
  5. LostInMyThoughts
    Then she should ask that question. Its like a guy asking his girlfriend to make a steak dinner, when he really wants to out to The Outback. So in this hypothetical situation, if a guy said "Yes it does" he would probably be confused why his partner was mad at him for being insensitive. She might typically respond "So you think I look fat?" "Does this dress make me look fat" is a much different question than "Do you like this dress, or the blue dress." Anyway my response is usually "No it doesnt make you look fat. It makes you look like your mother."
  6. LostInMyThoughts
    My roommate in college was given Viagra to help with her dimished sex drive because she was on Zoloft for depression.
  7. LostInMyThoughts
    Mmmm. Warm Apple Pie
  8. LostInMyThoughts
    Actually, i've heard of doctors perscribing Viagra for women with diminshed sex drive (specifically do to AD drugs like zoloft).
  9. LostInMyThoughts
    I think it was a girl getting double-teamed by two well-endowed black guys. I'm not sure what you're getting at. You said porn is porn right? So I should have the same reaction regardless of what it was be it a dude jerking off, or a women give oral sex to another... My reaction to it was based mostly in part because of my views on porn. Since (its should be obvious) I look at porn, and If I had a problem with my wife looking at porn, then yeah I would be a hippocrit. But I dont mind porn, and so I didnt mind my wife looking at it. Also if your point is that women get it and men don't. Duh. Its because women don't make it easy for us to get it. Like when woman says "Does this dress make me look fat?" I mean, the question is asked, not for the truth, but because the women wants to know that her partner still finds her attractive. Guys are generally easy, base, dumb creatures, and not very complex at all. Yeah I know I'm make an unfair generalization with my above example. EDIT: Sorry my two posts came off sounding pompous. That wasn't my intent. C'est La Vie!
  10. LostInMyThoughts
    While you're entitled to your opinion, I think some of your assertions are off. Also let me preface this by saying that I'm not saying women shouldn't be mad if their partners look at porn. Just like I wouldn't say men shouldn't be mad if their partners had male friends. First the myths you write about are actually misinterpretations of the explanations given. Its not that men have higher sex drive. Its that men and womens peak sex drive occur at different points during the day, week and month. As a man, its much easier to rub one out then it is to arouse a woman who is not in the mood for sex. It's easier to rub one out when you have something that stimulates you. Hence porn. Second, its not that men are MORE visual then women. Men are typically just visual. Women can be aroused in other ways. I've had a woman practially tear my clothes off because somehow my talking turned her on. Usually thats not the case with guys. Women get turned on by looking at porn. Porn keeps part of the mind stimulated which helps stimulate the rest of the body. Finally, I dont agree with your example at all. It seems like you've taken a situation where a woman might find innappropriate and reversed the roles to show that men would react the same. If that was true, wouldn't women react the same way to guy-on-guy porn and most men do with girl-on-girl porn? As an aside, If I found some "hotporn" on my wifes computer, and it was a guy jerking off. I would stop. I wouldn't wait for it to finish. I've caught my ex-wife looking at porn, and I wasn't mad or shocked, or felt dirty. Just my 2 cents.
  11. LostInMyThoughts
    I'm in the PacNW. Its way too cold for doing anything involving the water... Thanks for the ideas, i'll keep those in mind when it gets warmer here. Its going to be later in the evening, so nothing real outdoorsy (i thought about a fun hike or something).
  12. LostInMyThoughts
    I've been hanging out/ dating this girl for the past few weeks. She knows that I'm not ready for a serious relationship, and she seemed cool with it. Anyway we're gonna hang out saturday, and she goes "Okay. What are we doing?" I said I didn't know yet. So she goes "Well make sure its fun." I'm like great. I just keep thinking that I wont figure out something and I'll have her sit around while I played some video games, or something lame like that. We've caught a couple movies, been to a rap concert (her idea!), been out to the bars, and bumped-uglies. Anyway, I'm at a loss for ideas. I thought maybe going rollerskating, or bowling. Rollerskating is fun, but is it too romatic? I dont want to do something romantic, just fun... And bowling, is well, fun for me, but meh I associate bowling with probowlers. She's open to all kinds of things. Anythoughts?
  13. LostInMyThoughts
    Well said. Seally: We're not trying to abuse you here. This place as quite the opposite. Good luck with your counseling. As an abusive/alcoholic in training, counseling changed my life.
  14. LostInMyThoughts
    Respect is not the issue that needs to be worked out between you two. The real issue that you need to work on, is your anger. You can leave this guy, but I'll bet you a new laptop that this will just repeat in your next relationship.
  15. LostInMyThoughts
    It's not over and you don't have it undercontrol. Like you, I have anger issues. You're in a cycle. You get angry, you let it out. You feel remorse/guilt, so you supress your anger when it comes up. The anger builds up, till the point where you can't contain it anymore, and you let it out even worse. You feel even more guilty, so you contain more anger. Repeat ad infinium. The control you feel you have is only superficial. With the guidance of a trained therapist, you can hopefully learn the root of your anger, and how to release your built up anger. My therapist said it was like I was carrying around a huge bag of anger (from being abused as a child). It was pretty much full, so when I (justifiably) got angry about something, I would react inappropriately. You really should seek out a counselor, specifically to deal with your anger. If you constantly have hit your bf, and this is the first time he hit you back, I dont think he is at fault, here.
  16. LostInMyThoughts
    She's probably around the same age as you, right? There is still a lot of maturing you both have to do, and she might not handle the situation as effectively as you would like because of that. It's a calculated risk.
  17. LostInMyThoughts
    Actually I wouldn't tell her. She's in a relationship and you outta respect that. You telling her this will change the dynamics of all three of you (her, her bf, and you). I also think its not fair to her either, to put that much pressure on her. I'd say make something up. I know you can't control whom you love, but showing her this restraint on your part is the best thing you can do. Worst case is she and you become distant, and you lose a good friend.
  18. LostInMyThoughts
    What they do on their own time could be a problem. What if this guys wife found out that something is going on, and decided to comfront him at work violently about it. How can you trust an employee who potentially is dishonest in their personal life. How different is it from finding out an employee is a huge heroin junky outside of work? Yeh, you can control morality, but you have to think about the good of the company. I would tell your assistent that she's not performing the duties that is expected of her. Let her know what her expectations are. Additionally I would confront her about the time she is spending with this other employee, and let her know that you feel that its inappropriate, and if it continues you'll terminate her employment. With regards to your brother, if he's not receptive to listening to your legitimate complaints, I would suggest looking for a new job. He's not being fair to you, and you've approached him on the subject. He is choosing not to respond. You can either deal with it, or take your talents elsewhere. I know what I would do.
  19. LostInMyThoughts
    Asking for someones number over email is kinda lame. Sorry, not trying to rain on your parade. Ask her in person next time you two are flirting, like say something "we should hang out this weekend, whats your number?"
  20. LostInMyThoughts
    I decided to divorce my wife right before xmas. I got through it by doing the things I enjoyed, and looking at the bright side of things. I fought tooth-and-nail and got an Xbox360 for myself (2 days before xmas) and played it like it was going out of style. My sister came over for Xmas and cooked me diner (which was really nice of her). This is the first valentines day that I'm gonna spend alone in lik 6 years, and so I'm looking forward to it. Good luck.
  21. LostInMyThoughts
    Most attractive for me, several things. Physical beauty. I think that's a no brainer. Willing to participate in activities I enjoy, at least to try them once. Just a common desire for all couples. Has to enjoy sex, wants to please me, wants me to please her. As for GF material to being married, I guess I just give it time, and see how I feel about someone, if I can see myself growing old with them, enjoying their company. Its just a feeling I get.
  22. LostInMyThoughts
    I think its hard for a person to judge their own level of maturity and responsibility. Are you ready to be a mother? I personally believe that before people have sex, they should be ready for the unintended consequences of it. How about catching an STD? You can use protection, but statistically there is a chance that you can get an STD or get pregnant, or worse, get both. Are you really ready for that responsibility? Do you know if your bf has been tested for STDs? Do you know that at your age, becoming sexually active actually increases your odds of cervical cancer? Because you're becoming sexually active, you'll need to go to the OB GYN to receive annual pap-smears. I'm not trying to scare you, or say don't have sex, but I do want you to fully realize what becoming sexually active means.
  23. LostInMyThoughts
    I don't think what you said was terrible. It sounds like you talked about marriage and you were both honest about your feelings on the subject. My opinion is that now the ball is in his court. I'm a traditionalist in that I think its his job to propose to you. I wouldn't force the subject by keep bringing it up, but if the opportunity arises, I would talk with him about it.
  24. LostInMyThoughts
    So what you're saying is I should get her fired, then ask her out.
  25. LostInMyThoughts
    I do understand your frustration with your GPA. Do you feel like your GPA determines how successful you are, or how smart you are with your peers? I ended having a Cum GPA of like 2.8 after my freshman year. It dropped to 2.5 middle of my sophomore year. I felt terrible, because I knew I was capable of doing better. I realized what I was doing wrong, and made a concientious effort to change my approach to school. When I graduated, I ended up with a 3.5 CUM GPA. Sometimes failing is a better teacher, than succeeding. I know it was for me. I learned that if things don't go right the first time, learn from the mistakes, then continue on ahead.
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