Ok...any inputs would be much appreciated.
Background:
My bf and i have been together for 16 mos. Until 3 weeks ago, he's always shown me a commitment, so that i've never had reason to doubt him. one day, 3 weeks ago, he breaks down telling me he doesn't know what he wants in life, where he is going, how unsure he is of his future and us, and ultimately how i haven't put enough effort as he has for our relationship (yes, i completely agreed with this and i believe i have done so much more in the past weeks to make things right). Despite our agreement to stay together and my efforts of being a better gf, i noticed he was quite distant and his gestures of affection felt like afterthoughts.
A few days later, i ask him if there's someone else, and he confesses that his friend, Girl A (who knows me), in her drunken stupor one day, had told him that she still had feelings for him - she hadn't met anyone else like him, anyone who could carry a conversation like him, and how she's never been (how is that relevent to anything?!) with anyone. i find out that they've had a history. they dated for a month a few months before he met me, but she had to go study abroad so they mutually agreed to part ways. so, alas, a mutual attraction existed.
he said he still wanted to be with me, but can't help feeling flattered knowing that someone else can find him attractive. throughout the weeks, we talked, but with the impression that he wanted to think things through (while still with me) b/c he doesn't want to stay with someone and regret not experiencing something potential with a different person.
Until last week, when i finally realized the 2 weeks of hell i'd been through and what a clingy loser i must've looked like, i decided that i had to be the one with the balls to announce a breakup. However, he rebutted telling me that he realized what a jerk he had been, how he badly wanted to make things up, and that he needed that week to clear things up with everyone - esp Girl A. everything he said sounded promising and so far has been looking much better.
my problem? He and Girl A have mutual friends. whenever a mutual friend organizes a gathering, Girl A is there. He knows I resent her so much for her actions, even though i've only met her twice. However, when he accepts the invitations, he tells me that she'll be there - which is nice, so i don't wonder and let it get to me, but at the same time, it makes me a bit angry to think, 'shouldn't he make an effort to keep his distance from her?' Am i letting my jealousy overshadow the rationality that it's OK if they're in the same room b/c there are other friends/people there? *sigh. regaining trust is difficult.
Sorry if this whole thing sounds vague (this is as clear as it was for me, too) and believe me, i tried to make this shorter!
