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LostInMyThoughts

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Everything posted by LostInMyThoughts

  1. It's not a bad idea to pursue him if you want; just be prepared if it ends up in dissaster. Like being able to handle the rejection. Improving yourself really helps in that area; the more you know and believe that you're a helluva person, the easier it is to say "pffffft, you don't know what you're missing." Really there isn't much you can do to get him to see "gee what a fool I've been." Going on with your life, and doing fun things, enjoy yourself, and not giving a damn what other people think; thats how you will convince him to come back to you. Anything more and its like you're bargaining here.
  2. I personally don't believe there is a purpose for being born the way we are. Is there a purpose why someone is born retarded? I am in no way, shape, or form, suggesting that homosexuality is anything akin to being retarded. I'm just saying that what we are when we are born, doesn't dictate our purpose in life. Perhaps i'm missing your point.
  3. I don't know about you; but my only purpose in life isn't have children. Perhaps thats what mother nature wants us to do, but as a human being born with the gift of thought, I know that I am more than the sum of these biologial urges. I think gay people and straight people have the same purposes in life. Finding out what that is, is part of living.
  4. I'm sorry to hear this. Are you okay? I can't even imagine going through something like this. Neither one of these two people deserve to have you in their lives.
  5. I'm sorry that you are getting hurt by your boyfriends selfish actions. Have you asked him why he doesn't want you there? It sounds like there is a reason, and he's not being forthcoming with it. I say, make the best of this situation by going and having a good time without him. Why not throw a party and invite your friends over? Or go out by yourself and check out the local festivities? Or fly out to WA state and party with me and my friends It sucks that you can't spend this holiday with him, but you're ultimately responsible for your happiness. You can tell him that you are dissappointed that you two aren't going to be together, but then tell him that you're making plans on your own to ring in the new years. In a way, your bf has justified why he doesn't want you to be around, and changing that isn't going to happen by making him understand that it hurts you. The way I see that it will change is if you understand why he doesn't want you around. I'm not saying that its your fault, or its anything that you do--I can only speculate as to why he feels this way. Good luck.
  6. Please don't feel like a fool. It's not YOUR fault that your girlfriend cheated on you. The saying is usually true, unless the person who is cheating realizes they have a problem and decides to get help for it. For some the problem is sexual compulsivity, or sexual addiction. Others is the lack of an ability to address problems directly. Unless your girlfriend deals with the reason she is cheating on you, she will continue to do it. Of course I'm no expert on infidelity, but I do have some experience with it.
  7. The same thing goes for me. Its the one thing I don't look forward to dating; cuz you can never tell. Perfectly unnasty people can be carrying very nasty things. Herpes is for life
  8. Wildchild: Yeah its the same girl I was talking about last week. Poco: I've already gotten to know her a little bit; I've hung out with her before at her place, where I got to ask quite a bit of questions. But you're right; a movie is a horrible choice if you want to get to know someone; but it is a good place to start (I think) if you just want an excuse to be together. I was also planning on grabbing a bite to eat before hand at a nearby restaurant. I'm really bad about making the first move--though the last time I had to make a move was in 2002, so I hope I've learned a thing or two. I'm gonna see how things go, if she looks like she would be up for a kiss goodbye, then I will go for it. I'm definitely gonna work up the nerve to put my arm around her during the movie. I feel like im in highschool all over again
  9. Cool thanks for the response. "Whose court" is the ball in? When I see her again next week, should I bring it up, or should I wait for her to mention it?
  10. It could be a lot of things. She might have gotten in trouble, by the boss for being too chatty with customers. The next time you get into a conversation with her, ask her when she gets off work, and then try and set something up, cuz it sounds like you won't have much luck with day to day conversations. Try to be respectful of the fact that her talking with you might get her into more trouble. One thing to throw into the mix, waitresses are often friendly with single male customers to get larger tips. It doesn't sound like this is the case, but just throwing it out there.
  11. So I asked out this girl who I kinda like. I asked if she wanted to see the new harry potter movie (well its not that new...) this weekend. She said she had plans this weekend, but some other time. She suggested maybe on a wednesday (when we see each other for lessons), and asked if there was a theatre nearby so we didn't have to go far away. I wasn't shot down, and I'm sure she does have plans, but is this a good sign, bad sign, or what? Thoughts?
  12. Thanks WildChild; you're not driving me nuts. You're advice is exactly what I need to do (and honestly what I have been doing.) Right now I'm staying away from my parents because my anger is just so raw. I can easily see myself doing more harm than good by confronting them. My sister is coming to hang out with me for xmas, so I'm not worried about spending the holidays alone. As for the gift, I'm trying to figure out how to deal with it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to tell my mom to return the gift and instead use the money to buy toys for the Toys for Tots program-- today I learned the local branches had about 1/4 of the donations from last year I don't like being pissed off at my mom, but I do know that I have valid reason for being angry with her and my dad. I'm also doing what I can to support and release my anger.
  13. My mom and I use to have a great relationship, until my marriage turned south. I went to my parents to get support, but it wasn't the support I needed. They blamed me for the problems in my marriage, and wanted me to work things out. There are a lot of valid reasons for me to be pissed off at my parents, I guess this is just another issue. Perhaps if this was an isolated incident, I could take it for what it is, a nice gesture from my mom. Looking at the whole big, ugly picture its more than that. This is much more than a simple inconsiderate gesture, I guess. I've got a whole load of anger, and I'm finally realizing who is responsible for it.
  14. In addition to the BBB, contact the local US Department of Labor. In college, I worked for about 6 weeks at a retail store and never received a paycheck (I quit after all the run around about being payed). Finally after a call from the US DOL I got my money.
  15. My problem is that why did it take me getting divorced for her to get me a gift. After her moaning about not buying gifts, I feel like this isn't a real gift, its not something given from the heart. Just something that is suppose to make me feel better. Like getting a present from someone who would otherwise not get me a present is going to make me feel any better. I know she's trying, but I really don't want anything from her other than to be left the hell alone.
  16. The thing is, back in August my mom knew I was going through I rough time. When I found out about my wifes affair, and the impending seperation, I came parents house to tell them that I was having problems. Of course I was crying because of the hurt. Normally I don't cry, and so my mom knew something was really wrong. So having known that, why not get me a gift to cheer me up? Family is important, but unfortunately just because I'm related by blood to my mom and dad, they're not my family. My family is my sister, and my best friend; really the only two people who have stuck beside me through this whole ordeal. Luckily my little sister is a friggin amazing person, and she and I have plans to spend christmas together. We were joking about making Mac n Cheese with Hot Dogs for dinner. Im now just ranting because I'm pissed at my parents for a variety of reasons. As for having a bad xmas, there is spose to be a new xbox360 shipment this weekend, so I still have a shot at getting one, so dont worry bout me.
  17. Every year my mom complains about buying gifts for us for christmas. She says things like "We're not Christians, we shouldn't be celebrating Christmas." or "You are old enough so you don't need any presents." or "You make so much money, you don't need any presents." We celebrated Christmas when I was growing up; so its not really a Christian holiday to me, its an American holiday. Until last year, my mom would call me and ask what I wanted for xmas. No biggie. Last year I spent xmas eve with my inlaws, then spent xmas with my family. My mom (who does the shopping) didn't buy us (my sister and I) any gifts. I didn't mind, because xmas is about more than giving gifts, and I figured my mom had finally made good on her promise to stop buying us gifts. This year, again my mom didn't ask what I wanted for xmas, so I figured that she wasn't planning on getting us gifts again. I talked to her about it, and she reiterated that we don't need gifts. Then last week I called to tell her that I was divorcing my wife, giving her most the details--my wife cheating on me, being separated, yada yada. She felt bad for me. A few days later I found out from my sister that my mom felt bad and so she went out and got me an expensive gift that "I was really going to like". That pissed me off. I'm angry at her because she only bought me the gift out of guilt. If it was out of love, why did it take me being cheated on and getting divorced to make her buy me a gift for xmas? It's a nice gesture, but I think its insulting. She didn't want to buy me a present, and she wasn't going to, until she found out how bad things have been for me lately. I would have been perfectly happy not getting a single friggin gift for xmas. Instead I get this pity gift. UGH i'm so pissed.
  18. It's one thing to let him figure things out on his own, and its another thing to express your feelings. I think its important that he knows your feelings, and he considers them in his thoughts. I wouldn't want to be with someone who had no consideration for me. This is different, then you actively forcing him to decide. I'm not advocating dumping your heart and soul to him; but I think its important to express your feelings. That you enjoy your new relationship, and that you feel like there is a possibility of more, and that you'd like to explore that. Yes it leaves you vunerable, but hell, you play ice hockey. I bet you're tough as nails. Additionally are you glad to take a quarter off from hockey? Both work and school suck, so make sure you find time to have fun!
  19. Definitely sounds like you didn't have fun. So it sounds like you're not ready to date yet, which is okay. You could look at doing some outside activities to help transition your thoughts and feelings from being fixated on this person. It sounds like your still very much attached to this person. There is nothing wrong with this, but it sounds like you're not enjoying the current situation. Its up to you to change it. You can ask him directly, what his thoughts are, and let him know your feelings. I think having him give you some clarity might be good. From that you will probably have to decide if you want to wait and see if he'll come around, or start the process of "starting over." From my personal experience, I can assure you that neither is much fun. This isn't much comfort now, but it does get easier and seriously the outlook is so much better! Just have to hang in there and not get too discouraged. You still play hockey?
  20. 1) Go up to her and start talking. You may have blown your chance, but what the heck right? 2) Go up to her and start talking. You may have blown your chance, but what the heck right? So lesson to be gleamed here is that if you notice a girl looking at you, look back and smile. If she smiles at you, walk up to her and start talking to her. Otherwise you're subconsciously sending the "I'm not interested" signal. As for the 50% chance thing, let me break down the numbers for you. If you don't talk to either of these girls, chance of success = 0% If you do decided to talk to these girls, chance of success = 50% Now, which choice is better? Now assuming that each choice has an equal probability of an outcome, you have a 75% chance of success. Seems like a no brainer to me.
  21. It sounds like this person still has feelings for you, but doesn't want to be in a long term relationship with you. You now have to decide if you are okay with that, and whether you can stand around while he figures out what he wants. There is nothing you can do that says "pick me" other than to be yourself. Otherwise you'd be bartering, and thats not much of a way to start a healthy relationship. In your situation, I'd move on. You can tell him how you feel, but nothing about him suggests anything you couldn't find with someone else. I know this is easier said than done, but in the end your happiness is what counts. I read a lot about him dating other people; what about you? Have you been on dates outside this relationship?
  22. Congratulations on graduation. Getting into journalism without a degree is a hard thing to do. I'd venture to say its next to impossible. That said, I think you should go into journalism if you want to be a journalist. Don't worry about playing it safe. With a college degree, you can land any number of safe jobs. There are many programs available for people with college degrees who want to become teachers, so if you decide thats what you want to do, having a journalism degree won't be a problem. Of course this is my experience from being accross the pond; your mileage might vary Good luck, and remember that no matter what you decided, it will never be too late to change your mind.
  23. Thanks for the advice. Don't worry I'm planning on asking her out because I am interested in getting to know her better. I was just curious about the whole playing it cool thing. I think its kinda funny that people play these type of games.
  24. I usually see her one on one every week for lessons. I went to her place to fix her computer, and I ended up staying there for a few hours later, talking and getting to know each other a bit better. I felt like there was a connection, and it seemed like she was interested; but I could also be reading too much into things. I gonna ask her to a movie when I meet her for lessons. I was just curious about the whole playing it cool thing.
  25. Girls, if you are interested in someone, do you play it cool, and try not to be eager? I was out a club with my best friend, watching a band. I take music lessons from one of the band members and she dropped a hint that I should come check out one of her shows, so I did. I'm wanna get to know her better, and for the most part I get the feeling that she is interested in me. During the bands breaks she'd come and sit down next to me and talk for a bit, then get up and go smooze with some of the other audience members. My friend thought it was good sign; that she was interested. He said she was playing it cool not trying to be eager. This is totally foreign to me, because I'm either idle or redlining it. Is that common for girls to play it cool?
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