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kellbell

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Everything posted by kellbell

  1. kellbell
    Well, unfortuantely for you, I am a bit biased and on your girlfriend's side on this one. My and my bf have been going out almost 4 years and he was seriously thinking about buying a home and or condo a few years back. However, his credit is in shambles and has no money put away, so the only way we would get a mortgage would be through me. I told him, I refuse to buy a home or condo until we are a little more established, i.e. ring on my finger. IMO, it is the dumbest and most risky thing one can do, to buy a home, car, etc without being married. Your girlfriend is smart. If you guys broke up for any reason, it would get very messy. Jusyt because you 2 have been together for 6 years doesn't mean you are safe or immune from a break-up. If you want to marry her, ask her. Money should never stop you from doing what you want. Who needs an engagement ring, I mean it's nice and traditional, but this definitely put a black cloud over your relationship. If I were you, I would seriously talk about marriage with her because that's what she wants. But that is not what you want, then maybe she is not the one for you or it's not the right time. Either way,yo both need to talk seriously about what you both want. Good luck with everything and wishing you all the best.
  2. kellbell
    Maybe marrige consuling might help. I would strongly recommend it in this kind of situation. Good luck and take care.
  3. kellbell
    I think it's a case by case basis. Depends on a lot of factors. But I always felt I wouldn't know what I would do until it happened to me. I have noticed in the past that women are more prone to forgive and for men, it is absoultely not tolerated but that's based on my own observations.
  4. kellbell
    The demands he put on you should be a clear reminder to you of why he is your EX. I know you still care but you two broke up. Now it's time for you to care about yourself and do what is right for you. To hell what he wants. The guy has some nerve. Good luck and all the best to you.
  5. kellbell
    I am with Yoko on this one, You guys were 15 when you started dating. My God, I am NOTHING like I was at 15 or even 20 or 25!! I will be 29 in a couple weeks. We change and how you feel when you are teenager will definitely change when you are in your 20s. I think you are too young to be bogged down in a serious relationship like this. The fact you are thinking about other men is not a good sign and you are falling out of love with him. If you were truly happy, you wouldn't be feeling like this. I guess, you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. I feel bad for you because you feel trapped in a sense but I feel really feel bad for your boyfriend. You are making a fool out of him, not meliciously but you are. You NEED to tell him what you wrote here so he can get on with his life and get on with yours. Good luck and all the best.
  6. kellbell
    Hi there, I am not a hairdresser however, I did use something that was a Godsend for frizzy and brittle hair. It's called FrizzEase. I got a perm once and it just fried my hair, suck every drop of moisture out of my hair. (I have stubbornly straight hair). I used it for about a few weeks and it worked beautifully. It's a hair serum that combats frizzies and adds moisture, especially on the ends of the hair. You don't need much. It's kind of pricey but well worth it! Good luck.
  7. kellbell
    Yes they do unfortunately. I have to agree with DecemberGirl, technology today has definitely altered the way we treat others in some ways.
  8. kellbell
    Yes they do unfortunately. I have to agree with DecemberGirl, technology today has definitely altered the way we treat others.
  9. kellbell
    Hi there, He's got a very twisted and sick way of trying to build your self-esteem. I don't buy it for a second. No man should ever make you feel bad about yourself and also, your man should stick up for you at all times. He was mad at you at your dorm he feels you made a fool of him in front of his cronies. You did stand up for yourself, you said it was f'ed up and walked away. My advice to you, kick this loser to the curb. He is abusing you emotionally and verabally. Don't waste your college years on duds like him. Hugs to you and take care.
  10. kellbell
    It's funny, the best parents are the ones with no kids. Wow, this woman sounds like a real class act. This may be a stupid question and re-read your post but maybe I am missing something, are you and your hubby in consuling together? Maybe there is some underlying issues there that go beyond this biznatch. Sorry, I shouldn't be calling people names. Maybe that can help you guys out.
  11. kellbell
    One of two ways in least in my experience... Talk to him about your feelings and see what happens afterwards. or Lay low for awhile Unfortunately, people with a personality disorder don't think there is anything wrong with them so they won't change or take the necesarry steps to change their life. This guy may not be the one for you and you might have to try to accept that. I mean think about it, do you want to be someone's caregiver and therapist or do you want someone who is simply going to love you for you and be there for you and be your boyfriend. I can't stress this enough, he's going to have to learn how to help himself first.
  12. kellbell
    Great advice BellaDonna. I used to bartend/waitress so you can imagine the rude people I dealt with over the years, the nicer I am, the more angier they get and eventually they give up because they see they are not getting to me. Try that and see how it works.
  13. kellbell
    There is another young lady around here who is having a similar problem as you. Here is the link link removed You have totally neglected yourself and that's why you are miserable. You did all the taking care of and no one took care of you. It's definitely a lonely place to be, believe me I know. Right now, I would try to focus on you and try to pull yourself up from the floor and surround yourself around friends and family who care about you. You will need them. As far as financial stuff goes, I know how hard that is too. Very stressful. I hope none of these are shared debts, that can get pretty hairy. If so I would call an attorney. Otherwise, I would screen the calls for now. Lots of hugs to you and feel free to PM when ever you want, I always answer my messages.
  14. kellbell
    Or you could go the other way and kill'em with kindness. I know what you mean, I am not good at being mean but when my character is attacked, all bets are off, I am not going to stand for it. It sounds like you in a rock in a hard place. In any case, I truly hope things get better for you. Hugs to you.
  15. kellbell
    Hi there, If he cared, he will make the time to call you. Don't fall for "I'm too busy" trap. But he's not too busy to sleep with you and go on extended weekend trips with you. He wants to reap the benefits of having a girlfriend without the whole-hearted committment. That's total BS. I can tell you are not cool with it otherwise you would be posting this here. I would lay low with this guy and get to know other guys and hopefully you will end up with someone who has the time to call you and consider you a priority. Good luck and take care.
  16. kellbell
    You are unhappy because this relationship is so one-sided. That would make anyone unhappy, personality disorder or not. You are taking on too much, you are trying to solve all his problems. Can't do that honey, he can only do that. Like I wrote before, the only thing you can do is be there for him when he needs an ear and that you care. That's it.
  17. kellbell
    Hi there, Of course this guy is ready to move forward because you have your eye on another man. Go figure huh? I express EXTREME caution getting the likes a man with financial problems. I say this because you will take on the grunt of the money in this relationship. I am currently dating a guy with horrible credit, no assets, no money saved, owes money to a creditor, god, it's scarey. At first it wasn't a big deal but now that we have been together for 3.5 years and share a place, it gets very overwhelming and frustrating. Just be very very careful. I cannot stress that enough. Good luck and all the best to you.
  18. kellbell
    Hey there, I am sorry you are going through this. Is this chick your hubby's friend's wife or just a girlfriend? I guess I am asking because she may not be in the picture forever. I am confused about the part of her giving you advice. What kind of advice? Like marriage advice or advice like dont wear black in the summer time? I am asking that because how would she know about your personal life so as to give you advice about your marriage. If it's about stupid stuff like your hairstyle or what you are wearing I would say, hey I'm wearing it, you're not, so it's not your problem. People like her need a taste of their own medicine. They totally need to be put in their place. I worked with this woman who was like that, nothing nice to say about anything, was always in people's business, just absolutely miserable and one time, I let it rip. We've been cool ever since. It's weird, some people "get off'" by others putting them in their place and then they respect you afterwards. Very strange. I would try it, just say something snarkey back. I know, two wrongs don't make a right but this lady really needs to be knocked down a few notches. People who are like that are jealous and feel threatened for whatever reason. I personally think your hubby should stand up for you but he isn't because it's his buddy's girl. Since he's not going to stick up for you, then you are going have to have to stick for yourself. And if it gets ugly, your hubby has nothing to say about it since he didn't do squat about it. And I remind him about it if the situation were to come up. I wish you luck in this matter. Keep us posted.
  19. kellbell
    If you truly want to give her stuff back and it will clear your conscience, FedEx it to her. You may have to take a loss on the stuff she has of yours. Good luck on whatever you decide.
  20. kellbell
    You guys have broken up 3 times in 6 months, I don't know, I feel it is guilt but who I am to say? Maybe you need time to yourself to reflect and figure out your true feelings without all the "noise" around you.
  21. kellbell
    Maybe you can send him a card telling him you care about him and you all always be there for him, but that's all you can do. Letting someone know you care and will always be there for him or her is enough. You can't take on everyone's problems, you are not helping them by doing that. Ultimately, they have to help themselves first and deal with their issues.
  22. kellbell
    Never, never stay with anyone out of pity or guilt. This sounds like your case here. Someone always gets hurt in a break-up but she will get over it. May take some time but she can't get over it when you come to her "rescue" all the time and break NC. You are second-guessing it because you feel guilty. I would never want anyone to stay with me out of pity or guilt. My advice, leave her be and let her heal. By leaving her be, you will also be able to heal in the meantime.
  23. kellbell
    If he is not physically attracted to you then that can cause some trouble in your relationship if you choose to persue one with him. The chemistry has to be there in order for it to work. He will be miserable and so will you. Has nothing to do with you personally or your level of attactiveness, it's weird how attracted we are to others varies greatly. Wishing you the best and take care.
  24. kellbell
    Very true Beec, I am gulity of it too on a few occasions and so is my BF. There is a clinical version questionnaire based out of the DSM-IV that assesses for all 11 personality disorders. Very interesting to administer.
  25. kellbell
    Gosh, don't you hate that. When one person pulls the other pushes, then when that person starts to push the others pulls? Ahhh. Love can be so complicated at times. It seems you 2 were at different places at different times. It can be very frustrating at times. I guess the only thing you can do is lay low for awhile and let things settle and take things slower than you have been. The bottom line, when things are meant to be, the will be. If not, then we have to move on. It's hard, but things that are worthwhile are ever easy. Take care, my friend. Best wishes to you.
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