SpyderE

I am wondering about girls who are really "tight" I recently started sleeping with a girl I am going out with, each time we have had sex I had to push pretty good to get in, we have used lube, (and yes I am aiming well...). Anyone run into this? I a little worried about hurting her, though I imagine I would hear about it pretty quick if I hurt her... We have started trying different positions etc. any tips would be great, other than that everything's normal and alot of fun!

she's made it pretty clear, the conversations have been leaning more and more that direction, she's been physically getting closer when were together hanging out. She hugs more and looks into my eyes when were sitting around, and kissed me this last weekend. not the peck... and she wasn't drinking. Now she wants to go out this weekend...

I met this great girl awhile back and went out a few times, just on a friendly basis with a group, we always ended up sitting talking together and got along great. The catch to it going any further... she has a boyfriend, to me that means no go. but we stay friends, only friends. as time goes by we continue hanging out every once in awhile, for lunch etc. so I start dating this girl I met this summer, we are having a great time together, everything fits, everything's cool... except the first girl is now avaliable as I now know after this past weekend and wants to turn our friendship into something more... Why do things happen like this? it's not fair! but all I can hope for is to not hurt anyone. I can't date both of them, and I do have feelings for both...... I don't know what to do, I guess I have to sit down and figure out what I want then stick to it.

hehe, funny how everyone is split on this one. I am pretty mixed up as well. I do know i am not going to throw it out there right now and tell her what I am feeling, I am pretty sure it's mutual... a few emails and text messages gave that one away. but I am having a hard time deciding whether or not to stop seeing her now and again for lunch etc. I like her company and have a great time just sitting around BSing. She's smart, pretty, hard worker, just a good person. All of the qualities I like in a girl, except for the fact she is LIVING with a guy... so for me that means hands off... I have never knowingly been a part of a cheating relationship and do not want to start, I don't think I'd let it go that far but i am beginning to dobut myself a little.

A few months ago I met a girl when I was out with friends, we talked it up clicked right away and had a great time. Over the next few weeks we would go out in our groups and hang out. After a few weeks of this she told me she was living with a guy, their relationship was not doing so good and that's why she was out with the girls. Well I took this to mean she was not avaliable so I backed off, I told her we could be friends but nothing else, I don't want to get in the middle of anything and especially cause a explosive breakup, hey it's up to her to either breal it off with the guy or not. Not my decision. anyways over the past few months we have been going out to lunch here ansd there, just having a good time talking and enjoying each other's company, but it seems like now things are beginning to get a little more than just friendly. NOTHING has happened yet, nor can I let it, but it is gettin gto the point where I won't be able to hang out with her without really wanting more. I always have but have been able to set things aside, now it is hard for both of us, the hugs last longer, we find ourselves staring into each others eyes etc... The only thing I can think of is that she dosen't want to leave a relationship without having one waiting, or I am the backup, and I really don't like either of those options. All I can do is be her friend and heep my emotions in check.

I have posted previously on this before, I met this great girl, the catch... she's living with a guy, apparently at the end of a relationship, but not broken up. This sucks, I really like her but cannot make any sort of move, I will not pull that if I know there is someone else in her life, not matter what the situation. We have though been writing via email, nothing sexual, just friendly emails about life in general and stories from our past. Every once in awhile there are a few charged sentences... coming from both of us... but on the whole everything is innocent. I want more than anything right now to ask her out and to see what could be, but I can't as of yet. One of her letters said she does want to date me but cannot due to current situations but hopes that we do get the chance... yea great, get me on a string as a backup... this sucks. I guess all I can do is cut ties and hope we meet up sometime in the future under different circumstances. Who knows though... One of these days I will find someone w/o all these hangups and issues. Normal may be a myth but I really need to find a girl close to normal!!!

So the story does continue, today I received a page long note about how she was happy I wanted to be friends and hoped that some time we would be able to be more but did not want to leave me waiting So I am the backup plan I guess.... yea... no... homie don't play that!!! I hate to miss out on a chance with an awsome girl but she has alot of things to deal with before ever moving on with her life. I will be a person for her to talk to, but that will not stop me from seeing other people and having a good time. Damn the drama, oh well could be worse.

Might as well add to the saga: I talk to one of her friends now and then, so here is a email exchanged between us. Looks like this one is a wash, cool girl, I wish her the best with everything. Bummer. (From the friend) XXXX, Let me just start out by saying that I think you're a great guy! The way I see it, you're good looking, have your head on straight and seem very responsible... plus I always have a good time hanging out when you're around The problem with xxxxxx is that she is in a relationship and it's not just that she's dating a guy, they live together. xxxxxx was at a point a little before Mother's Day where she really wanted to just end it with xxxx, but he contributes financially to the relationship & I think she was afraid of what would happen if she let that go. It's hard to be a single Mom. I think you know that he was gone over Memorial Day weekend, but when he got back he pretty much apologized for everything and wants to make more of an effort towards their relationship. I've never met xxxx, but the way I see it if you have this many problems with someone and you're not even married, it's best to just part ways. I don't think xxxxxx'x is ready to cut ties with him though. It's like every time she gets fed up, he does something sweet or apologizes or whatever and then she just stays with him. I think it's best if you just offer her a friendship like you did. You deserve to hang out with a girl who will dedicate her free time to only you and doesn't have a boyfriend. Maybe it's best that you keep her at arms length so you don't get your feelings hurt? I'm always here anytime if you want to talk or whatever. xx ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: xxxx (AKA ME) I am not much for words sometimes but you may be able to help. I think xxxxxx'x a great girl and I would really like to get to know her, but I know she it going through alot of **** right now and dosen't know what she wants. I wrote her a note to try to make it easier, even though it sucks for me I hope it will make things easier on her. Hopefully she will take this in the intent it was written. "Hey kiddo, I had fun this weekend, thanks for coming out to share in the festivities, even though we did get a little wet. I've been thinking a bit about things and I don't want to make things tough for ya. I have fun hanging out with you, and it's nice to have intelligent conversations!! Your a great girl and I'd like to get the chance to get to know you but I can tell things aren't easy for ya. Overall I'd like to at least be your friend while your working things out. I have two pretty good ears and I am very patient if you ever need to talk, give a call sometime. 123-456-7899 Goodnight, XXXX " Please clue me in if she is having a toughg time, I don't want to make things harder for her. at this point I am willing to walk away, I don't want to but if it is for the best then that's what I will do. sux... Thanks for any insight, X

So I am getting a little more of the story, she says she dosen't want to hurt anyone... well, life's a * * * * *, I have been hurt before as well as hurt others (emotionally), it's not fun but sometimes it's the only way. i am in no way going to force or ask her to leave him. But on tht other hand I will not participate in a relationship where I have to be sneaking around and playing games. So I guess at this point I will just resort to being her friend, I am bummed about this but at least I will still get to hang out with her, she's a good person and fun to talk to. So wish me the best, I will keep posting with updates, read em if your interested, reply with any comments. Thanks, SE

i have heard conflicting sides to whether she still has a bf or not. Either way i am continuing on the way I have been for awhile now, I have left it up to her to contact me. Who knows if we get back together whether or not she will want to take another break, I do know that this was the first long term relationship she had had, this was part of the reason she wanted the break. I went through some of the same feelings but stayed in the relationship, and I am glad I did, one of those grass is greener kinds of things. I am going to a wedding in a few weeks and she will be there as well as her family, this could be interesting. we will see... I will leave it up to her to make the first move towards getting back together. As I had said previously I am just starting to date a really great girl so i don't even know what I want at this point. Tough decisions, we had something really good for awhile, now I have to decide if I want to try again...

This past weekend I went out with a few friends camping, my ex from a year ago shows up... I was really messed up after we broke up... but I have been over it for awhile. Every once in awhle I think back but I don't dwell on the past. Anyway I hear down the grapevine that shes regretting us splitting up, her whole family wants us to get back together. While this used to be the thing I hoped and preyed for, I don't know if I feel the same anymore, I still love her and always will but I am also just starting a new relationship. She wanted to take a "break". I am not one to hold her back, i told her how I felt about her at the time and what I was thinking but I didn't want to stay together and make her miserable. It killed me to let her go but I had to. So in the past year we have spoken once, i told her I would not call and I haven't. She called on new years eve to wish me a happy new year and we bs'd for a little while, after which she walked over to he bf told him she called me and proceeded to cry for 2 hours...?? So she knew I was coming this weekend, it is a group we both used to hang out with all the time, but she showed up for just a few hours then headed home saying she had plans the next day and not able to stay overnight. So hearing all this stuff about her regretting breaking up etc. it gets me thinking more about trying again, but i do not believe it is my position to make the first move, this could just be me being stubborn. This is all such a pain in the * * *, sometimes i wish it could all be cut and dry. but, on the other hand then it wouldn't be any fun!!! At this point I am going to proceed as I am now, just keep on living my life as I am. If she wants to talk I am open and willing to talk, but cannot promise anything. anyone have insight or ideas?

we will have to see what she says, I don't want to be pushy. I think she's a fun person and someone I can actually talk on the same level with. We may go out again this coming weekend depending on the holiday weekend plans. I am not into playing games, if she is still "with" this guy then there will not be a chance of anything happening until that is over,if it will be over, I don't need more drama. Everything I am hearing from her friends and when I am with her is she really likes the time we spend together and well... me so all I can do now is hope for the best. will post when I find out more. Thanks, SE

I met this girl two weeks ago at a small party, friend of a friend kinda thing. Anyways we hit it off pretty quick, talked for a long time, overall just had a good time. Ended up going out last night with two other friends, we had a great time, she was laughing most all the night we were pretty much hanging off each other by the end of the night.(not due to drinking) so everythings kewl so far, so I end up dropping her off at her car, we hug and a small kiss and everything's good. I get back into the car with my other two friends and we are talking about the night a bit, the girl my friend had brought knows the girl I went out with. She tells me that the girl I went out with is still kinda in a relationship, but kinda not... what the h-ll, how does that work??? She lives with the guy!!! What am I doing to get myself into this again!!! I hate this kinda situation, I like this girl and would really like to get to know her, but I am not one to knowingly date someone who's seeing someone else. Next time I see her I am going to have to ask her about it and see what the story really is, hopefully things will work out.

as the website notes, you are not alone on this one. I went through a breakup that destroyed me about a year ago, I still have some trouble with it now and then but as more time passes it gets easier to go out and have relationships again. It looks like your doing the right things, but I don't know if you should go back and re-read old emails letters etc. For me I took all the letters and things that reminded me of her and put them in a box in my closet. I may open it one day but I see no need to for awhile, but I guess in some way it makes me feel better knowing that it's still there. Who knows, but going through the pictures and letters would not help. if ya want to talk or anything pm me or some of the others responding, strange as it may seem talking to strangers about your most inner feelings does help, and knowing they don't know you allows for no predisposition. Just let it out, you'll feel better, and know your not alone out there. SE

dude, where's the bridge???? I know, I know At heart I am a trusting person and typically give the benifit of the dout. In this case I really didn't believe her when she told me and saw something coming, not this but something. I don't think I am even going to try to ask for medical proof at this point, I am gone from this relationship at this point. I have no interest in speaking to her ever again. This is something you DO NOT lie to someone about. I am happy in the way I handled things, I never knew what I would do until it happened. Don't do it girls, it can only make things much worse.