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kellbell

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Everything posted by kellbell

  1. kellbell
    Nah, I would not say that at all. We all have been through what you have been through, sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves and kind of wallow around in the pain but I think that's a phase one goes through after a break up. But the pain doesn't go away in one day, it takes time to heal and depending the kind of person you are, the length of time will vary. Some people bounce back quickly, some others take longer. But eventually, you have to in order to heal and move on.
  2. kellbell
    For some reason, that doesn't sound like a good reason to have sex with him. You do what feels right. If you feel having sex with him does not feel right then don't, birthday or not. Just play it cool and see how the night unfolds.
  3. kellbell
    Give him a night he won't forget then kind of lay low for awhile and see what happens.
  4. kellbell
    Hey Annie, you and I think alike. I said the same thing, if he doesn't like her cooking, there is bologna in the fridge. That's what my dad said when we whined about my mom's cooking. Never bite the hand that feeds you.
  5. kellbell
    Hi there, I say go ahead with your plans with taking him out for his bday and do the lingere (sp) thing too. So what he is doesn't want to get serious right now, it doesn't mean you guys shouldn't have fun. And what you have planned sounds like a lot of fun and I am sure he will enjoy it. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do as far as wanting him to get serious. You have to repsect his wishes. The more you push the more he will pull, thus making you look needy and clingy. If you have one inkling in your mind that you are wasting your time, then it may be a good thing for you to go out with someone who is in the same place as you. Good luck and hope your night out for his bday goes well.
  6. kellbell
    No, don't make amends with this guy. Make amends with yourself. Forgive, yes, it takes a great deal of strength to forgive but don't forget. By not forgetting means you learn from your mistakes and growing as a person. Everyone makes mistakes, it's a part of life but learning from them and not repeating them breeds wisdom. That's the way life works. It's YOUR wisdom. Forgive yourself and let go. He wants to see you and be friends with you because he feels guilty. That's not how true friendship works. I would NEVER want anyone to stay with the likes of me out of guilt. I am better off without the person. Let him go for good, he doesn't respect you because you don't respect yourself. Learn to repsect yourself without him. Take things one day out of time and apply NC with him. Heal from this. Be well and treat yourself right. Things will get better. Take care and all the best.
  7. kellbell
    He could have been masterbating. I knew a guy who used to masterbate with his sheets. Anyhow, I thought I said the other day, KICK THIS LOSER TO THE CURB!!!! He keeps repeatedly hurting you. Focus on yourself and you daughter. You are not being fair with your daughter by hanging around this guy. If you can't help yourself then how in the world can you be there for others, such your little girl?? Be strong and be well for your sake and your dauighter's.
  8. kellbell
    Hey there, I am sorry you are going through this. I love it when people say about cheating, "we only kissed...nothing more. I have seen that countless times in this forum. To answer your question of how she can go to another guy after breaking up with is that she was OVER you before you guys broke up. This girls sounds selfish and immarture. Just take things one day at a time, go into strict NC, and try to keep busy. Wishing you the best and take care.
  9. kellbell
    Hey there, When I was younger, it seemed like I PMS'ed worse than I do now being almost 29. I think it's hormones raging but I can recall times where I just felt like being a witch and I had no real reason to be. Man, what a crappy feeling, believe me, I didn't enjoy it. Every woman is different but at times I can't stand when women use their period as an ace card or a reason to be unbearable to be with. For the most part, we can control our emotions. But just my opinion, others may disagree. Is she like this all the time? I am not sure if this is something that has been happening or just now. If it is her period and this is a hard time for you and her, what you can do is count 28-30 days from now (if her cycle is regular) and steer clear from her for a few days. For now, I would lay low for awhile, let things cool off and let her know you like being with her and that you are sorry she had a few rough days but don't apologize for the things you did like telling her to have a good day and the texts you sent her. You handled the situation the best way you could and since she did not give you much to go by, then there was nothing else you could have done. Just chalk it up as a learning experience and I hope everything is ok. Take care.
  10. kellbell
    I have always felt, maybe others will disagree...it's never too late to do the right thing. The right thing IMO is for you to start standing up for yourself and love yourself. If he can't handle it, well, then you'll have to cross that bridge when you get there. But comparing me to any ex is crossing the line BIG TIME. Anyhow, it sounds like this guy knows how to press your buttons and you let him. I hope all works out for you and things get better.
  11. kellbell
    No I would not do that, don't play games and be passive aggressive because that won't solve anything. I would tell him flat-out, you are not going to stand for it, period, no ifs, ands, or buts. I would tell him, there's bologna in the fridge if he's hungry if complains about your cooking. He will repsect you a hundred times more when you stand-up for yourself. No one likes a push-over.
  12. kellbell
    Yeah, it can be natural but I do that but in MY HEAD sometimes. I would want someone to shoot me if I ever verbally compared my honey to one of my ex's to his face.
  13. kellbell
    I HATE leaving messages!!! I rather talked to someone in person. I tend to hang up on people's voicemail. If she called, there is a level of interest there. I would wait a few days. She may not want to appear to be over eager either and is playing it cool for a day or so. Good luck with everything.
  14. kellbell
    Hey there, Isn't this same guy who called your furniture crap and snapped at you all day on your move-in? If it is, I stand by what I posted the other day, tell him you WILL NOT TOLERATE such behavior in your house. If he figures out what he can get away with with, this will only get worse. Nip this crap in the bud ASAP!!! People will treat you as you LET THEM!! Don't let him. If this continues, then it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship with him and ask yourself if you want to stick around and take this kind of abuse. Take care.
  15. kellbell
    Why would it be over?? He just needs TIME! Like the other poster said, he could have DIED! It a lot to reflect and to take in. Just let him be and recover. If it were you in the chair, would you want him to end things with you because you were tramatized over something like this??
  16. kellbell
    I do the same thing. I go through phases. I don't want to call anyone, and I have been invited to go places, declined even though I have nothing to do. There really is no rythme or reason for it. I think it is your sub-conscious or something just wanting time alone. I am sure this happens to people more often than not.
  17. kellbell
    Like Bella Donna suggested, go through his family. Leave a card, flowers, stuffed animal, or whatever you want to, with how you feel and that you will be there for him no matter what. I am sure he knows you care and that you are worried, this is his pride talking, nothing personal. I know it's hard but other than what has been suggested, there is not much else you can do.
  18. kellbell
    He probably does not want your pity and does not want you to see him like this. I mean his life has been changed for ever, there is a lot for him to take in and probably very scared. I would just try to repsect his wishes and let him adjust. Hugs to you and to him.
  19. kellbell
    It's hard because you love her and it hurts like hell when your feelings are not reciprocated. But ask yourself, do you honestly want to be with some one who is "wishy washy", dangles carrots in front of you, and leaves you walking on eggshells... or... do you want a girl who is real, straight with you, knows what she wants, and shows that she cares? It's up to you. Either way, I hope everything works out for you.
  20. kellbell
    I am so sorry you went through all this. Hugs to you. But like others have wrote, he will treat every girl he goes out with the same way he has treated you. Any type of abuser, whether it is physical, verbal, emotional, does not change. I dated a guy who emotionally and mentally abused me and he treats every girl he goes out with the same. I feel bad for them. His pattern never changes. It's actually very scarey when I think about it and pathetic at the same time. The only thing I can say is take things one day at time and come here often. We are here for you.
  21. kellbell
    It seems that this scenario is so common on this board. Anyway, you are in no way have to act as the "halloback boy" because that what it seems like to me. She broke up wih you, is interested in a another dude, but not sure if things will work out with him, so she wants you to fall back on. She wants you as a friend so she won't feel guilty by being the "dumper", that's it my friend. If she wanted truly to be with you, she would not have broke up with you let alone finding another guy to be with. My advice to you, start NC ASAP, let her be with the other dude, and bid her farewell once and for all. You deserve so much better than this. Take care and good luck.
  22. kellbell
    Hi there, It sounds like you are "over-teching" this situation. You 2 are only 16!! Way too early to be thinking about marriage and kids and soul mates. When I was 16, those were last 2 things I wanted to worry about. When you start worrying about things like that, it can definitely put a dark cloud over your relationship and it's so unneccisary. I would tell her this... "Let's forget about this kids and marriage stuff. I really love being with you so let's enjoy being with one another and take things slow." That should take care of things. Wishing you the best and take care.
  23. kellbell
    Hey there, Well, first and foremost, things ARE NOT going to be like they were the first time you were together. Feelings were hurt and tossed around during the first break-up so than can affect things down the road. She sees you in a different light as you do her. Plus, people change and grow a bit as time passes, epsecially after heart ache. She may be on the defense a little and not even realize it. It seems from what you wrote, she is not making this new start her first priority, school and her job are. But would you really want for her to put school and her new job in jeapordy so she can spend more time with you? Especially after you guys broke up and got back together. She is playing with a new deck of cards now. I have a feeling she put A LOT in your relationship the first time around, sacrificed a lot...this time she isn't. She learned from her mistakes. And you might want to do the same. Just take things slow and enjoy getting to know "the new her." I wish you 2 all the best and I hope everything works out.
  24. kellbell
    Hey Kritso, Doing NC is NOT ignoring. Not in your case. It is a way for you to heal and move on and keeps you in control. I think she should be doing more to get your attention other than texting. Like, she should ACTUALLY call you and talk to you in person and maybe make plans. Don't be so quick to jump the gun and accomidate her. If she suggests plans, tell your busy at first. Make her WORK for your attention, just like she made you work for hers. In the meantime, I would keep my options open and date other woman. If she comes around cool, if not, then well, you have other things and people to keep you busy. Take care and all the best.
  25. kellbell
    You just answered your own question there, if someone likes you enough, he or she will find a way to call. Definatley keep that in mind when you want to contact him. Hang in there.
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