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kellbell

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Everything posted by kellbell

  1. kellbell
    True that Bella. One day at a time and to learn from other's mistakes.
  2. kellbell
    BellaDonna, You are so right about saying not to get in the middle of it. That's what happened in the beginning for me and it literally tore me apart. My mom would go out and frollic around like some teenager, enjoying this newfound freedom she has never had since she's been with my dad. Then my dad would call all upset about her actions and worried about what she is doing. ARGGGH!! Like I said, I ended up soaking up the negative energy and it was awlful. Still is. Now I am being more neutral and listening to both sides and offering advice to both parties. A little easier place to be in. It's really hard watching my parents go through this, definitely not a thing one would want for their parents.
  3. kellbell
    Hey there "I feel so lost, like everything I ever believed in and the morals they upheld in me suddenly are utterly worthless and meaningless." That's EXACTLY how I feel. I feel so betrayed and now I am questioning who I AM right at this moment. I totally understand what you are feeling and I will 29 in a few months! I am absolutely devestated. My parents are on the verge of a divorce right now. They are trying to work things out and both are in therapy now, separately for the time being. I don't see them reconciling. Too much hurt and built up resentment for so many years. As far as my mom is concerned, anything my father does to change is a dime late, a dollar short. She has asked, cried, begged to him repeatedly about the things he does that hurt her and he did nothing to change. It took my mother walking out on him to wake his a$$ up. Now he is walking on eggshells with her, not sure what to do, now my mom feels more smothered than ever. She has gotten into a deep friendship with this other guy, and showed her she is worth way more than she feels and showed a world to her she never knew. Hence, gave her the strength to leave. But since my parents have been married 35 years, they are going to try to get better. My youngest brother wants nothing to do with my mom because of this other guy. I am kind of in the middle and my older brother tries to be neutral. It's a big mess right now and I have thought about cousuling myself. Feel free to email me at anytime or PM me anytime. Maybe we can help each other out. Hang in there, that's what I am trying to do. Hugs to you.
  4. kellbell
    I agree with the others, marriage counsuling about the only way to go at this point. I have always figured when one person in a relationship cheats, there is something very wrong and lacking the relationship. So counsuling may help there too. If you two weren't married and had no children, then I would say call it quits and move on but since you two are married and have a daughter, those two things are worth working on the relationship for and giving it another shot. Sorry you are going through this, in situations like this, it isn't easy for anyone. One day at a time and take care.
  5. kellbell
    Happy Birthday Briella!!
  6. kellbell
    If it was important, she would have left a message or came to see you face to face and tell you. How important can it really be. Sounds petty to me. I would stick to your guns and tell the mutual friend, "she knows where to find me if it's that important or she would leave a message." I guarentee the calls will stop. Keep in mind why you guys broke up, that will help you be strong and stick to you guns. You are doing great.
  7. kellbell
    Hey there, I fell into that trap before. Doing all the work, going out of my way and when it came to me asking him if he can come to my area, he made a big deal about it. So I don't think you are making a big deal at all. Up until this point, you have been making things too easy for him and he is taking your for granted. That really speaks volumes on behalf of his character because you only have been seeing him only a month and he is already taking your for granted. My advice to you is don't be so accomidating to him. If he wants to be with you, he will compromise. I would say, "hey if you want to see me this weekend, you need to come down here. I am not hightailing to your place this weekend." If he makes an excuse, then say, "well, I'll see ya when I see ya. Talk to you later." Stick to your guns girl. This is not going to get any better until you lay down the law a bit. In fact, it will only get worse. Good luck with everything and take care.
  8. kellbell
    That would be kind of weird, going to a bar wearing a snowsuit!
  9. kellbell
    Totally agree with Annie, ignore it. I think it was rude and totally going against your wishes. Sorry you are hurting.
  10. kellbell
    I've been told I was a heartbreaker, big deal. I took it as a compliment.
  11. kellbell
    I would have to say he is messing with your head to some degree. He's using you as a secruity blanket and you are familiar to him. Plus he knows that will go to him when he flirts and "puts the moves on you." You are a sure thing. My advice to you, cut him off for awhile. Let him figure out what you mean to him, if anything at all. He's not a good friend at all, he knows how you feel and yet he continues to screw with your head. You are too young to get bogged down into this nonsense. Wishing you the best and take care.
  12. kellbell
    I will second that ehm doubleyou, my boyfriend tested me all the time when we first started going out.
  13. kellbell
    Hey there, I am so sorry you are going through this, this cannot be easy at all. Just know that I have found this forum very helpful and come in here whenever you want to talk, vent or need advice. Hugs to you.
  14. kellbell
    That stinks, I would be mad too. I would not give anything at all tonight. Put him on ice for awhile, he needs to understand that he can't treat you like this and thatyou are a human being with feelings. You should not have to test your man like that. Good luck and let us know what happened.
  15. kellbell
    I'd say go for it. I know if a guy did that for me I would melt, who cares if you knew each other for awhile. Either way, it would mean a lot to me.
  16. kellbell
    One word for you buddy....HORMONES! That's what's going on. I've seen exactly what you described. It's like PMS at it's worst. The only thing you can do it tough it out and be there for her. It isn't easy for her either. Pregnancy and a baby will change everything. After the baby is born, your lives will never the same and your relationship is not going to go back to the way it used to be before. So, be there for her, cuddle with her, pamper her with foot massages, back rubs, go to the store for her even if it's 3 in the morning for something she's craving. Also, I would keep the lines of communication open. Ask her how she is feeling, what can you do. She may feel like you don't care either and you guys are just feeding off one another. Some one has to make the first move. I wish the best and take care.
  17. kellbell
    Hey there, Girls are very good at picking up on when a guy is being fake or geniune. They are pretty intutive and good at understanding other's feelings. It sounds like you first observation is very generalized and not very accurate. If that's all your worried about, sleeping with a woman, she'll know in 2 seconds flat. Then yes, you are not going to have much luck with the ladies...period, let alone having sex with them. My advice to you, is drop that attitude you have about women. I am not sure what you mean about talking to women wayyy to nice, like you are on a conference call with you boss. If that's how you compare your converations, then you are not going to have much luck there. I would just act normal, like you are truly interested in the girl and what she has to say and forget about having sex. A little piece of advice, women are very attracted to confiendence, it's a huge turn-on. So those so called weird, out place looking guys you feel invisable to, are probably confident when talking to women and not only worried about getting in the sack with them. Good luck and take care.
  18. kellbell
    I would really discourage breaking NC, you will feel good the moment you do contact her but in the long run, you will kick yourself in the butt for doing it, and in most cases, it's best to make decisions for the long term instead of the short term.
  19. kellbell
    I used to bartend for about 7 years and yes, I am cheerful, outgoing, confident, very talkative, naturally, but I was trying to make money too. I used to get hit on all the time because of those qualities (I think) so I think you seem to be attracted batenders because they really put themselves out there and the qualities one needs to be a good bartender are very attractive and appealing. I really miss bartending by the way.
  20. kellbell
    True, I think the mutual friend thing is a good idea.
  21. kellbell
    Can you go to her place to get it? I mean does she live far away and is it plausible to go over and ask for it back? Good luck and take care.
  22. kellbell
    By now, I think this item is on principal and that is silly to me. I would take the loss of whatever it is. Forget it. Just my 2 cents.
  23. kellbell
    Are you guys sexually active because that will depend on my answer.
  24. kellbell
    OK, when and if you do get the answers for yourself, what are you going to do? Even though he would tell you why, his actions still prove otherwise. Actions speak louder than words IMO. in any case, I hope everything works out ok.
  25. kellbell
    Agreed with Sophie, it's almost been a week since you've talked to him and not one word! That's bull. If he cared, he would have called. I don't see how his best friend dying several years ago has anything to do with how he treated you before or now. That's an excuse to me. If a guy WANTS to be with you, he will. I don't think it's fair you are waiting around for him to call. I personally would not call him, let him call you and like Sophie wrote, I would not answer it right away. Let him sweat it out, like you did. I know, it stinks and hurts because you love him a lot and you want answers but IMO, this guy is acting like a jerk. This is going to be a cycle, you guys get together, things are cool, then he backs off. I've seen it all before. Best wishes and take care.
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