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kellbell

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Everything posted by kellbell

  1. kellbell
    Very good website Beec. I work with people with Personality Disorders. Passive-aggressive or Negtavisitc personality DO is rare, I have not seen it very often but very frusutrating to be in a relationship with someone with the disorder. Dreamy, I hope things get better for you. Take care and all the best.
  2. kellbell
    Hey girl, I remember you from about a few months ago. I am so sorry that you are still having trouble with this. Like the others wrote, maybe your hubby is afraid he will hurt the baby or he may feel overwhelmed with everything which can hinder desire. Have you talked to him about how you feel? Does he go to the doc with you during your check-ups? Maybe you can ask your doc in front of him about having sex while you are preggo. Maybe if he hears it from the doc himself, he may feel differently about the whole thing. People react differently to these situations. Good luck with everything and let us know how everything works out.
  3. kellbell
    Hey it's me again. Your friends are right. I guess it takes time. Love can be complicated as you know. Come here a lot, there are many people here to give great advice, others here are going through similar things, so it helps to know you are not alone.
  4. kellbell
    LOL
  5. kellbell
    Thanks Hubman Always worked for my man
  6. kellbell
    Yoswer, I PM'ed you.
  7. kellbell
    I do agree with your siggy..."love makes you do the wacky" True that!
  8. kellbell
    Hey girl, Don't hate yourself, I guess the better way to put it, I HATED my actions. At times, I wished I was able to turn back time and do stuff different. But we learn, sometimes, the real hard way, and it sucks! Anyway, it wasn't my intention to be mean, I guess your situation hits a personal note for me and I guess I don't people to make the same mistakes as me because it hurts a lot. Like I said before, try to take it one day at a time and treat yourself to a spa or a pedicure. Lots of hugs to you.
  9. kellbell
    That's the right attitude, it's his loss. That's great you have friends and family by your side, they will be a tremendous help to you. I would be lost without my family and friends. I'm sorry you went through a heck of an ordeal. Things will get better, I promise. One day at a time.
  10. kellbell
    Umm, try masterbating before she comes over. That should do the trick.
  11. kellbell
    Wow, what an ordeal. Beware, my post may be brutually honest. Altough I don't agree with how he was playing the "revolving door" on you in the beginning, you have to take responsibility too. He asked you repeatedly to leave him alone and you didn't respect his wishes. You didn't give him the space he asked for. The fact you did this, he's losing respect for you. Every text, message, email, phone call causes a little piece of respect he has for you to go away. Plus, girl, you have to respect yourself! If you don't respect yourself, no one is going to either. My advice to you, is to leave him alone for awhile. I know it's hard. I went through something very similar as you and I hated myself so much for it afterwards. I don't want the same for you. There are so many things I would have done different. Start focusing on youself and do some self reflection. One day at a time. Start doing things for YOU! You have negelcted yourself in every way tango-ing with this guy. That's why you are so miserable, you lost yourself completely in this whole situation and now you have nothing to fall back on, that's not healthy at all. Go to the spa and treat yourself. Start working out, take a class in something. Start putting yourself first. I truly hope you find peace within yourself and that you feel better real soon. Take care and all the best.
  12. kellbell
    Read my response here.... it still applies. Be well and take care.
  13. kellbell
    From a female's point of view, It's quite simple...she's not that into you. Sorry to say it but it's true. I pulled the same crap as this Julie, it sucks but I was young and dumb at the time. So I would try to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve for this girl and go out with others. I am sure once you do, she will show more interest. Good luck and take care.
  14. kellbell
    Hey there yo, I am so glad to see you are hanging in there, I have been following your story for quite some time. I give you a lot of credit for keeping your head on straight and being mature over this whole thing. About running into you ex and your ex-friend, if they see you and approach you, try your hardest to keep yourself together and be cordial and then walk away. Don't show them how much they got to you, that will keep them guessing. Don't let it get awkward. If you see them and they don't see you, ignore them. Take some deep breaths. You can do it, you have gotten this far. Take care.
  15. kellbell
    Hey there, Well, it's very unusual to climax vaginally. In my experience, when that happens, my orgasms are not as intense. They are intense when I am on top and grinding the heck out my boyfriend and that happens because the clitoris is being stimulated. I have stronger orgasms through oral sex to the point where my hands would be very numb! However, my orgasms are the most intense through masterbation or the use of a vibrator. I would see flashes of light in my eyes when I did it myself! So, yes, there are going to be different intensities. Even my boyfriend says for him, the intensity of orgasms are different too. It's very normal. Just experiment with different techniques. Just remember, have fun and BE SAFE!! Take care.
  16. kellbell
    Oh, I am so sorry for all this. You want him back because you love him so, you saw a side of him that others may not have seen (good side), you invested 5 years with this man and you want answers. Plus, this hurt is not going to go away overnight. You were blind-sided and still in shock over the matter. It has not "sunk in." I have also worked with people with Bi-Polar (BPD overlaps bi-polar and often people get mis-diagnosed) and bi-polar is also very serious. He could be in manic mode right now where people make very rash decisions and do things that can get them into trouble. The act not like their normal selves. If it runs in the family, there is very good chance he coud be suffering from it too. Has he ever seen a psychologist or psychiatrist? Has he ever been evaluated or ever taken meds? Also, have you contacted his parents about this? I wish I had other words of wisdom for you but I don't. I hope things get better and try to take of you and take it one day at a time. Feel free to PM me anytime. I am at the site A LOT. I love it here. You will find a lot of support and advice here, stick around here as much as you can. Hugs to you and keep me posted.
  17. kellbell
    I have seen this happen before with a few of my friends and it turns out their ex's met someone else. I am afraid that may the reason why your man was so callous and abrupt with the break-up. What a coward, couldn't even tell it to your face! Regardless of the reason, IMO you are so much better off without him. Hugs to you and take care.
  18. kellbell
    Let me begin with feelings are never wrong, they just ARE. You have decided to carry on in a relationship with a man who has a child with another woman. They are tied together forever, so that's part of the deal with your relationship with this man. And from you wrote, she has not really done nothing wrong. She has met another man and married him, so it is clear to me that she has moved on with her life and so has your man by moving on with you. This woman is setting an example for her son and trying to make the best of the situation that she can. Your man is right, you are not his mother, not even his stepmother, so you really don't have a say in his upbringing. It's frustrating but there is nothing you can do or say. You have put yourself in this situation knowing full well that this man has a son and is still in full contact with the mother. These are the cards you were handed and whether or not you want to play them, that's up to you. I do have to say that you are pretty lucky that this woman plays nice with you because you are definitely an exception. I would be thankful for that and she's a big enough person to accept you looking after HER son and letting you be her life as well as her son's. You wrote you trust your man, well, in these kind of situations, they test love to the extreme. Keep that trust you have in mind and your love for him, evertything will fall into place. Wishing you all the best and take care.
  19. kellbell
    Hey there, I am sorry you are going this. Hugs to you. I am curious of why you think he has BPD. (I have worked with them before). But that's besides the point. If he truly has BPD, then there is not much you can do, it is a serious personality disorder and he has to be able to help himself before he can help others. If he can't help himself, then how can he help you and take care of you and be a possible future husband and father? I know, I know, you want to take care of him and be there for him, but he has to be able to help himself and take care of himself first. When you do all the taking care of, then the relationship becomes miserable for you and you resent him in the long run. You are in great pain because you don't have all the answers and do you honestly think having all the answers is going to make things easier and help you? Who truly has all the answers after a break-up? No one does and when you dwell on it, that's why we can't move on. Don't get sucked in that blackhole. I know it's hard but just take it as he has problems, he has to help himself first. Love him enough to let him go. You may never get those answers you want. Takes things one day at a time, try to stay busy. Break-ups are NEVER easy, they test our soul, our emotions, our minds, our state of being. However, these tests can make us stronger. I know all this sounds corney and trite, but it's true. I have been through painful break-ups where I would crawl, beg, and steal for all the answers. I never got them but I chugged along and now, I can careless. You will get there too if you let yourself get there. I truly wish you the best and take care.
  20. kellbell
    Sorry, I have to disagree, you DO care otherwise you would not have bothered getting a card for him. Hopefully now, you can get on with your life.
  21. kellbell
    I would ask her in person. Something similar happened to me. I got to know this guy really well over a summer and he had to go back to school. He came down one weekend out of the blue and showed up at my place of work to ask me out to dinner. I was flattered and psyched at the same time. We dated almost 2 years. definitely make a special trip to her workplace to ask her for coffee or something like that. Good luck.
  22. kellbell
    OK, now I see. Ok, well it sounds like you have a good plan and truly hope things will be ok for you soon and that you feel better.
  23. kellbell
    Can you call the doc? Is there a number you can reach him or her at? I don't see why you can't as long as you use some common sense and take it easy not go too crazy with things.
  24. kellbell
    Hey I am glad things are ok. Case and point, communication is very important. Sounds like you are on the right track.
  25. kellbell
    Never never do what your friends think what you should be doing. What is it to them???? I mean this is YOUR LIFE and your HEART on the block. Why would making amends be easier for you, I don't believe that when I read your post. It seems like it would be easier for everyone else (your ex and your friends) than it would be for you. Your friends should be supporting you and helping you get through this and not contributing to your pain and telling you what to do. With friends like that, who needs enemies?! If you don't want to be used again, don't be friends with this guy. Friends don't use each other. No one likes or respects a pushover and by you being friends with him is being a pushover. Stand up for yourself girl. Stop doing things that others think you should be doing and do what's right for you! I don't know, I think your mutual friends should butt out and let things be. Maybe you might to expand your horizons and find new friends. Anyhow, I don't mean to rant, I just think that whole situation is messed up. Take care and wishing you all the best.
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