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kellbell last won the day on June 18 2007

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  • Birthday 11/07/1976

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  1. If you have been attracted to her before, then there is a good chance to bring that spark back. It takes WORK. Not taking the easy way out and going off and cheating. Does your wife have any idea about how you feel, the trouble in your relationship? If not, it is time to COMMUNICATE! If she is willing to go to marriage therapy, a sex therapist. Great. If not, you have your answer. It takes two people to make it work. Use that great core relationship you have with your wife, talk to her, tell how you feel and get some counseling.
  2. Hi there and welcome to eNotAlone. I have to say that I do not believe in cheating, in any form, for any reason. I can understand your situation to an extent but I really do not sympathize nor can I see it justified. Most statistics show there is less than a 5% chance of a relationship born out of an affair will survive. For a couple of reasons. One reason is, the entire relationship is built on lies, deceit and pretense. How are any of these components healthy and helpful for a good and strong relationship? Second reason they do not work, the entire relationship is based on fantasy, lust, and infactuation. There is no reality in your arrangement, just enchantment and a facade of whom you think the other person is. Your marriage at the moment has a lot of reality in it, the death of your wife's father, intimacy issues, bills, mortgage, career. With no reality or hardship in a relationship (such as with your lover) OF COURSE it is going to look all fine and dandy. You really do not KNOW this other woman, no matter how much you think you know her. You do know she is capable of lying and cheating on her husband as well as you with your wife. You do not know her on a more day-to-day, mundane level, you know her on a lust and infacutation level. The act of cheating to me is cowardly and the worst type of betrayal a person can do another human being. Instead of getting counseling, doing everything you can to preserve your marriage, or even divorcing, you sneaked around. I am sorry, I do not see this working out. Reality will hit eventually and this whole thing will come and bite you in the rear-end. Like I always say, if the person can do it (cheat) with you, he/she can do it to you. Good luck.
  3. Hey there, That's good. I am so glad you are your girlfriend are taking the proper steps. Thank you so much for the update. Take care!
  4. Hey there BTR, I have been following your story from the sidelines. I am so happy for you and that little Benjamin is doing well. Actually, that name is on my list as a name if I had a son. I love that name. We were all in suspense about how things were for you and could not wait to hear how you are doing. I am so happy you both are safe. Thank you so much for checking in! Congratulations. ((((BIG HUGS))))
  5. Awwwww, Riley is soooo cute!!! Don't feel horrible. You have to do two things... 1. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him his past behavior is unacceptable and you will not tolerate it. 2. Get your pooch to some dog training. I wish you all the best.
  6. It just goes to show that animals can be trained, can know right from wrong, but it is up to the owners to teach that and be consistant. To me it is no different than parents teaching their kids right from wrong, what is acceptable and what is not.
  7. "I can clap my hands at them and they go to their room." Oh that is hilarious! I love kitties. hehe...
  8. "...SO that disciplines this way" No way. My boyfriend has two kitties and he never lays a hand on them and they can be very bad. They had torn up his sweaters, destroyed some of his plants, tore up some of the mini blinds in the kitty room but he never laid a hand on them. Yes, they get scolded and when they are caught in the act, they get squirted with water and get "sent to their room" for a while. And their room is warm, has their pillows, food, water, toys, scratching post and litter box. They get time out a lot. But no force, no hitting, nothing like that.
  9. "I hope everyone isn't getting me wrong here. He doesn't kick him or punch him upside the head or anything like that." True, he is not being that extreme but it still hurts you, it makes you uncomfortable and now Riley is acting like he has not in the past. That is something to keep in mind.
  10. Hey there, Yes, I agree that he is abusing your doggie. The bottom line here is that your boyfriend's behavior is making you feel uncomfortable. It is hurting you. And now, your doggie snapped at you, a behavior that is very uncharacteristic of your dog. That speaks volumes. I do feel however your dog needs some training as well. Both dogs. I know PetSmart does doggie training. But I am not sure if it is free. It is worth checking into. I have a kitty and I love him like he is my kid. And if anyone touched him or mistreated him in anyway, he/she would be out the door. Cruelty to animals to me is HUGE RED FLAG!!!
  11. Hey there, "If I spend too much time around her, I get the cold shoulder, but if I don't speak to her for a day or so she'll be right over to talk to me." This sounds like that old push/pull game. And that this what this is...a game. If you are not into games and want the real thing, my advise is to spend less time with her and keep your options open with other women. More times than not, a person has a very slim chance of having a successful relationship with someone whom likes the thrill of chasing, which this young lady likes to do. Send her a card if you wish but dealing with someone like her, I would not expect anything in return. You deserve more.
  12. I do agree with Betya about the texting. It is a bit much and texting is a bit impersonal and gets old. Perhaps tone down the texting a bit and speak on the phone or in person more.
  13. Hey there, Well, I am sure you will know what he has been up against when he fills you in this weekend. When he does that, I would let him know you are there for him when he needs you and perhaps ask him what you can do to help. I am sure things will be okay. There are just some heavy issues going on at the moment.
  14. Congratulations on losing 80 pounds!! That is quite an accomplishment. It is okay to slip a bit but you definitely can get back on track. You can do it!!
  15. Hey there, Good for you for wanting to quit. I wonder, what point are you at in quitting? What I mean is, some people I know want to quit, know they have to quit but are not quite at that stage where they WANT to quit and take the necessary steps to do so. I know of people whom wake up and firmly say, "I don't want to smoke anymore." and they quit, cold turkey. I have heard that is the best way to quit. But you have to be at the point where you do not want to smoke. I am not a smoker so I cannot possibly fathom what it is like to be addicted to nicotine and what it takes to quit. But I have several friends and family members whom quit and never look back. But they were at that point where they were ready and had no desire to smoke anymore. Here are some links that may be helpful... link removed link removed link removed I wish you all the success in quitting.
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