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kellbell

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Everything posted by kellbell

  1. kellbell
    Hi there, I would let a few days go by and see what happens. I am not saying you did anything wrong but you may have backed this guy in a corner and men HATE that. I would give him a chance but give him some space. Men cherish their space and free time and always pull away when they feel it is being challenged. So in the meantime, I would go out and do other things and hang out with others. He will call. Just give him some time. Take care and good luck with everything.
  2. kellbell
    Nikkers, we have been through this so many times before, you ought to not hang out with him. In a few days you are going to be back here in tears over crap this guy will pull on you. I am sorry but this guy dumped you and has been toying with you. Honestly, I wouldn't give him the time of day. But I hope your evening goes well and be well.
  3. kellbell
    Like I mentioned before, any person who does the dumping and wants to remain friends with an ex, usually means he or she wants to lessen the guilt of being the dumper. I am guessing this is the case with her. From your posts, I get the feeling that you are not ready to be her friend right now. At this point, who cares if she gets mad at you, she dumped you. It's defiantely ok to put yourself first and do NC.
  4. kellbell
    Yes, you are doing the right thing. Going about your business and putting yourself first. You have to, that's the only way you able to move on and heal. I remember you posting this last week. She's asking about you because she still cares and she got mad you for not wanting to hang out with her is because she took it as you being mad at her and that's not what she wants. She wants to make sure everything is cool between the two of you meanwhile she moves on with her life. It's to lessen the guilt and burden on her. Will you get back together...who knows? No one knows the future, but carry on life with the notion that you won't. Take care my friend and best wishes to you.
  5. kellbell
    Ah, the very common reasons for a break-up, I have seen these scenarios time and time again on this forum. Insight from a female...she doesn't want to be with you. All those reasons she gave you was to lessen the blow to you and make her feel less guilty. I am sure she did feel guilt breaking up with you, most people do, and those reasons act as a defense mechanism. The being friends thing, again, to maker her feel less guilty, that's all. I would NOT wait for her or go to moveis with her, gimme a break. . I would not be surprised she had her eyes on some other dude in her new little friendship circle from her job. I totally agree with heloladies, put her on ice. Start strict NC. If you guys lived together, don't fall for that, you need to come get your stuff and I need stuff back from you crap. And mail that comes in that is "important." It will be all excuses to see what you are doing. I am sorry you are going through this, you probably did not see this coming so you had no time to prepare. You are better off without her. Take care and wishing you all the best. Let us know how you are doing.
  6. kellbell
    It sounds like you care about her but in love with her. And maybe scared of being alone, hence, the reason you don't want to break up with her. My advice is to talk to her about how you feel, because before you know it, she is going to start pressuring you to say "I love you" back causing you to get backed into a corner. You 2 are in different places and in fairness to her and to you, you need to talk to her about the direction of your relationship. Take care and good luck with everything.
  7. kellbell
    Girl, I totally feel your pain! Major hugs to you. This dude I was crazy about broke up with me and got back together with me like 4 times! Stupid me kept taking me back. The last time he broke up with me, he broke up with me in my car! I told him off and only gave him one day of my sadness and tears. That's it. I totally understand you by saying your ex doesn't deserve your happiness, tears, anger, etc. I totally get what you meant and that's the perfect attitude. You will get better, I promise you. Chin up girl, we are here for you. Take care and wishing you all the best.
  8. kellbell
    Leave out what ever you wrote after things here are fair. All that relationship talk is not necassary in a letter or an email. Good luck and take care.
  9. kellbell
    Just say, "look I'm busy with other things. I will give you a call sometime." I am not understanding why they ask you why you don't hang out with them when they leave you out of things. Weird. Like I said, these people are no friends of yours, very superficial. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Take care.
  10. kellbell
    Happiness and success is the ultimate revenge. I can understand your hurt and betrayl though. I hope you feel better soon and come around here often, there is a lot of great advice and support here.
  11. kellbell
    One more thing, I learned a hard lesson, NEVER go by what friends say. I did that once and it turned out to be a disaster. Go by what the person you are dealing with says and what's in your heart. If he flat out says no, then say "thank you for your honesty, I really appretiate it and thanks for the good times. Maybe I'll see you around some time. Bye." If he says "I don't know..." Don't let him tapdance around this. He knows, people are always afraid of hurting others. But this will hurt you in the long run the longer this is drawn out, but the sooner you know, the sooner you can get on with your life or the sooner you can repair the relationship. Good luck with everything. Let us know how things turned out.
  12. kellbell
    Tell the person you not interested in dating, that you are just out having a good time. That's it, don't have to mean, classless, or lie.
  13. kellbell
    I always thought that guys who flirt with woman that they know they are taken, they do it to see if you are happy. That used to happen when I used to bartend, they hit on me and they ask me out on a date and I tell them I am taken. They are like, "so, I don't see a ring." I always chalked it up as a test to see if I was happy. Maybe that's why they do it or they are just jerks. Isn't this dude (your boyfriend) who makes you feel bad when you moved in your new place and bad-mouths your cooking and such? You can tell a lot about a person by seeing the kind of friends they have.
  14. kellbell
    Those are some fair questions to ask Roxy, pretty straight forward. I truly hope things work out for you. Break-ups stink.
  15. kellbell
    Depends on the level of flirting, because I am a flirt but it's harmless. Nothing tacky or overly done. If his friends are nice to you, it means your man is into you and he talks about your to your friends. If it was harmless, then take it as a good thing. If it made you uncomfortable, you might want to mention it to your man. I am sure they did not mean any harm. Take care.
  16. kellbell
    Hi there, I would try to move on and start NC. He was not leading you on, you are reading to much into what he says. He clearly told you he did not want to get back with you. He did not tell you off the bat because in his mind he made it known there was no chance of getting back together. HIm being a tough guy has nothing to do with whether he shows his feelings for you or not, all guys try to act tough, but when they care, they show their feelings for you and leave no doubt in your mind. Meaningful and fullfilling relationships should be so frustrating to the point you had to break up with him. I am sorry you are going through this, break-ups are tough but I think NC is the best way for you to go in this sitatuon. Take care and wishing you all the best.
  17. kellbell
    It might be time to find a new set of friends, they all sound very superficial to me. Friends stick by one another no matter what. Plus when everyone knows your business, it can get ugly. Sorry you are going through this but true friends would not act like that. I hope things get better for you.
  18. kellbell
    I am on the patch, Ortho-Evra and it is AWESOME!!! I have not had any problems at all with it, no weight gain, etc. I hate taking pills. So the patch is wonderful. I caution you with the Depo Provera shot though, too many side effects.
  19. kellbell
    You guys have only been dating a month, take things A LOT slower and don't demand so much from him. Enjoy getting to know him first and see where eveything takes you. 4 weeks of dating is not a long time at all. Good luck and take care.
  20. kellbell
    Nikkers, In order to let him go you have to get him off that pedistal. He is no longer your life and your everything. HE broke up with you. As long as you hold up in that high regard, you will never be able to get over him. It's ok to still care about him and remember all the good things about him and such. Let him go slowly. Accept he let you go, you had your good times and laughs but he just wasn't the right one for you. I believe everything happens for a reason. Also, you can't just let things comes to you and let happiness come to you, you have to actively pursue things and your happiness, go and put good things in front of you, you have to make things happen. You should never soley rely on ANYONE to make you happy or bring you happiness, you have to be happy within yourself. That's why you are having such a difficult time with this, you relied on your ex-fiance to make you happy and your whole relationship to make you happy, now you have nothing to fall back on. Take this a lesson learned. There are so many people out there who have been through break-ups, it's a part of life. You just have to be the one to pick yourself up and move on, with the help of friends and family also. I have been following your story all summer and into the fall, it's time for you start picking up the pieces of your life and heal. You will get better, I promise, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Be well and treat yourself right.
  21. kellbell
    Hey there, I don't know, I get the feeling you are not into "open relationships." I get the feeling you went along with it in order to keep this man in your life under the pretense neither of you are seeing someone else. I say this because you weren't seeing anyone else and believed he wasn't seeing anyone either. This guy is a jerk, plain iand simple, not because was seeing someone but he LIED about it and told you he wasn't. How stupid! I mean you two made a decision to see others, so why would he lie? He lied because he knew deep inside that's not what you want or what you are about. He wanted his cake and eat it too and he sure did. Get rid of this guy ASAP. Go out and date others and find someone with the same dating rules as you. I am sorry you went through this but don't sell yourself short in order to keep a man in your life. There are plenty of other guys out there that will be better for you. Take care and wishing you well.
  22. kellbell
    Keep your options open with others. Don't stop talking to her altogether but do date others. She was honest with you and put all her cards on the table. Although I would tell her you are dating others as well. As soon she is ready for something serious, then it would be up to you if you want to exclusive relationship with her. Then take things from there. But definitely give her space she asked for. Take care and good luck.
  23. kellbell
    She still wants to be on good terms with you and still cares about you, doesn't necassarily mean she wants to back together with you. But this causes you some pain and confusion so maybe it's best you not talk to or spend time with her for awhile. Hope you feel better soon.
  24. kellbell
    Girl I feel you. I dated this guy I was totally crazy about, great chemistry, really nice guy, bought a house, co-owns his business with his dad, been in the military, etc. Turned out he was still in kahoots with this chick he dated years ago while in school but tried to get back with after he came back from the Navy. Turned out he was in weekly contact with her, called her the day we were intoduced by mutual friends. He lied to me about when she called and such and even went to MA to go out to lunch with her so he can give her Christmas present!! This girl wanted nothing to do with him in that way anymore. That's why our mutual friends hooked us up. I was so devestated, embarssed, and could never trust him again! Needless to say, I left him, no explaination, I felt I owed him nothing. I was completely honest with him and he wanted to tango with some chick that didn't give a crap about him. Plus, I don't know why he lied because he never put me on that level (i.e. told me he loved me, called me his girlfriend) so there was no reason to lie plus I knew about her. It made no sense to me. I moved on shortly after that fiasco. So it may have to be that way for you. I hope things get better, I totally know how you feel at this moment. Hugs to you.
  25. kellbell
    By talking to her and listening to her. She may not want to go to consuling. It's going to depend on what she wants to do. You can't force someone into something, this may be the consequences for your actions.
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