kellbell
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Everything posted by kellbell
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Having sex early in a relationship leads to problems????
kellbell replied to Diva_Lee's topic in Sex and Romance
Thanks KayRay. -
What to do when you don't like the way your girlfriend acts?
kellbell replied to mesmvc2's topic in Relationship Advice
I have to disagree with what you wrote by saying she is very mature for her age. She is acting VERY immature IMO. She's stringing you along knowing you wanting her back (I know you said she wants you back) but I think she is messing with your head by saying that. Her actions do speak louder than words, it's the way the SAYING the words are actions to me. "I guess," or "whatever" is very rude and not cool. When women act mean or act mad all the time, even for no reason, they are playing games and want attention. I did the same crap at 17. And you are, my friend, giving her attention. My advice to you, put her on ice. Don't talk to her, don't give her the opportunity to be rude or inconsiderate. Her behavior will change drastically after that, believe me. In the meantime, I would go out with someone a year or two older than her that isn't rude and immature. Wishing you the best and take care. -
Having sex early in a relationship leads to problems????
kellbell replied to Diva_Lee's topic in Sex and Romance
I think it's based on a case by case basis. I waited a long time to have sex with one of my ex's (we messed around alot though) and the relationship was doomed from day one. It's hard to say now whether if I had sex with him earlier would make a difference. I have have a few one night stands and no regrets there and if I were to cross paths with these guys again in the future, I am sure things would be fine. My current boyfriend, whom I have been with over 3 years, I think we waited a few weeks after we started seeing each other. I think it depends on what each person wants, the nature of the relationship, and sometimes personality comes into play too. Like if someone is very clingy and emotionally needy, hooks up with someone a little more independent and so forth, then yes, I think the relationship would be rocky and it can ruined. I think much of it depends on capatibilty. Also, age too may play a factor in it, maturity level. I can go on forever. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to your question. When different personalities and expectations come together, it's anyone's guess on what the outcome will be. Just my 2 cents. Interesting question by the way. -
no, i wouldn't give her a timeframe per se, but i would make a timeframe for yourself and what you are comfortable with. if it takes too long for you, then i would rethink going back to her. things shouldn't be only on her terms, it takes two to tango. just don't be too flexiable for her because that's a one way ticket of getting hurt. wishing you the best and take care.
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hey there. maybe you can offer to study with her when it comes to exams. small talk is ok, i personally don't mind it, i think it allows me to warm up to someone and get to know the person a bit better. then it leads to more meaningful conversations. i used to bartend and small talk was a way to break the ice, build a rapport with my customers then eventually they became my regulars. then we got to know each other on a more personal level. you gotta start somewhere. take your time and really get to know her. i would compliment her on stuff, like a shirt she was wearing, they way she styled her that day, stuff like that. play it cool and don't come on too strong, i used to shy away from dudes that did that. you might want to mention homecoming and casually ask her if she has any plans and suggest she can go with you. just take your time and enjoy getting to know her. women love it when you notice little things. good luck and wishing you the best.
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I would go to the conecrt but vow nothing sexual is going to happen. If that[s something you can't promise yourself, then I would ditch the concert. I know it hurts real bad but you going to hurt A LOT more the longer this continues. There are plenty of other guys out there who won't use you for sex and once you do, you are going to wonder why you wasted your time and heart on this guy.
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Like everyone else wrote, he is doing what suits him at the moment and sees sex as a way to have fun and for him to get off. However, it means more to you. Cut him off, go out with someone who wants you more than just sex. It's only going to get worse for you if you continue this type of relationship with him. Take care.
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If it was urgent he would have left a message. He's calling you all the time because you are not calling him. Don't fall for that trap, "what if he needs me or misses me." He's only calling because you have taken control of the situation and silence is the best way to get people's attention. Stay strong, don't call him. Take care.
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Dude, you have to stop doing that stuff, breaking into VM, tying to reactions from her, and stuff like that. I know it's hard and you become obsessed with her and the new dude she is dating but that kind of stuff is going to tick her off and she is never going to be able to trust you. I know what you mean, thinking of her like a drug, it's a good comparison. But think about how you feel after you crash, like crap, right. So in a way you need to get her out of your system and that way is to distance yourself from her and surround yourself with people who care about you. Everyday will get easier. It's just really tough right now is because she is with someone new. I think being friends with her is out the question right now, IMO. You are hurting a lot and never going to get better if you continue on like this. Hang in there and come here whenever you need to talk.
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The thing that happened with his cell phone was most likely an accident. I will tell you why. I do it all the time with my phone. I have accidently dialed my friend's phone number when I went to the movies with my boyfriend and our friends. She heard us talking about what movie we wanted to see, she heard us buying the tickets, and she can hear us talking. I did the same thing again with my boyfriend's phone, he can hear my footsteps. LOL. This happens when numbers are programmed in and if you hit the right keys, it dials the number. The same thing happened with your ex, more than likely. I don't think he was trying to be cruel in this sense and is probably confused as heck of why you are angry with him, demanding him to erase your number. And probably because he is going on vacation with his new girl, he just doesn't want to deal with this right now. I am not trying to side with your ex or anything, but just trying to put in prospective for you so you won't be flipping angry all weekend. I know this must be hard for you. I am sorry you are going through a hard time now. But each day will get better, you just have to try to hang in there. Take care and wishing you the best.
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Good for you, honesty is the best way to go. Well, from you wrote, then I would definitely go out and talk to her about everything. It sounds like she is not quite ready to let go either. If you think this relationship can work, despite your issues from your past, then I would talk to her about how you feel, and leave the floor open for her to talk too.
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That's a tough one. I just got done responding to another post about what happened to me. I was dating this guy for about 9 months and everything was really cool in the beginning. He seemed truly interested in being with me. I knew about an ex he dated before whom he dated off and on for a number of years but nothing ever really panned out. But to make a long story short, I caught him in a few lies regarding her. I just knew something was weird so I took it upon myself to check things out. Yes, I snooped, not proud of it but I got tired of being hurt. Sure enough, there in black and white, he was on a continual contact basis with her. I was crushed. And a few times he told me it wasn't her, it was in fact her. He told me in the past that they remained friends, but lying to me, shows there is something to hide and there is more than meets the eye. So I left. At that point, I didn't care his about explaination, nor did I feel I owed him one either. So I guess what I am saying, that when the ex is lying and sneaking around your back, it hurts and you can't trust that person. Even to have a friendship, there has to be a trust too. If I were you, I guess I would do the NC. I was so hurt about this man's actions, but I just couldn't face him, I was humiliated. Now, he contacts me from time to time, we talk about what's been going on and stuff. But that's about it. I have managed to move on but it was hard. I think you can to but seeing on a daily basis gives her opportunities to lie to you or be sneaky, the more you are going to hurt. Do I would not contact her or hang out with her until you have come to terms with what happened and moved on from this. Sorry to be kind of grim, these are probably not the answers you want to hear but I can't get past being lied to. Take care and best wishes to you.
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It depends on the relationship you guys had, the circumstances on which the relationship ended, and what you guys both want. Either way, you guys are sending each other mixed signals. Obviously these mixed signals are making you uncomfortable and confused, so maybe closure in the sense of these mixed signals. To answer your question, no we are not back together. But I abruptly left him because he was not honest with me about a few things. I feel bad for leaving but lesson #1, never lie to me about your ex to my face. But regardless of how things worked out between us, we still played those silly games. Now it's cool, we are just friends that talk once in awhile.
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I would not go unannounced but I would call her and tell her you have some things on your mind and you want to share it with her and sort things out, kind of like some closure and it sounds like she needs some closure too but maybe a little too shy to come forth to say it. I would take her for some coffee or a place for drinks and appetizers. Something very comfortable and casual. Like I said, I have done it before (what your ex is doing now), not sure why, maybe because we did not have closure. Take care and wishing you the best.
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this may be the most embarassing post ever...
kellbell replied to 1love2k5's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
That's the name of it, yes, totally agree with Bella Donna. It's very easily treated. Go to your doc right away. -
It's hard to say. I want to say she wants you back but things are kind of fuzzy to me. I think she wants to hold all the cards this time around. Like she calls you and tells you she is busy. That's kind of weird. She has been calling you a lot because you have not been calling her and it's making her feel uneasy. She doesn't want you to be "mad" at her but at the same time, she wants to know exactly where she stands with you without her being your life completely, you following me? I kind of did that with my ex, I know, it was wrong but I was hurt and I wanted to hold the cards when we started contacting each other again. Like he would contact me and I would not get back to him right away because I did not want him to think I was waiting around for him to text me and not take me for granted. So when the time came for me to text him and he would not contact me right away, I got antsy. Like, "why isn't he contacting me?" But I wanted him to contact me because I wanted to know what he was doing and if was still interested in keeping in contactimg me. I know, it's silly and childish but hey, things can get that way sometimes. So I guess, you can contact her but on a limited basis. Just be honest with her and how you feel. I wasn't honest with my ex and neither was he so we continued to play these stupid games. Just lay all your cards on the table and see how things go. It sounds like you 2 have some unfinished business together so maybe you 2 could settle things once and for all and find out where each of you stand. Take care and good luck. P.S. sorry if this post is confusing, I know what is going on intutively but it's hard for me to put it in words. Maybe someone else would be able to explain it better.
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this may be the most embarassing post ever...
kellbell replied to 1love2k5's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
It might be an infection. I forgot the name if of it but it's fairly common. I had that happen to me once. I spoke to my gyno about it and she prescribed an antibiotic. It was a gel kind of thing that is inserted for five days. That should help. I would make an appointment with your gyno, talk to him/her about it and see what the doc says. It could be something very minor and very treatable. Take care and good luck. -
Like avman said, Better safe than sorry. Check the laws in your state. Even if they don't engage in a sexual relationship, the girl can lie and usually the girl is believed. That's all I'm saying. Just be very careful.
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Nikki, I believe that age does not matter, in most cases, but what this guy is doing is a FELONY!!! He can get in big trouble and that should stop him. Not worth the trouble. I said this before, my job requires me to work with inmates, and I have seen many well-to-to guys in jail because they got into the likes of a minor. Their whole are ruined because once you are convicted felon, you can't do anything! Can't go into the miltary, can't work for the state, or the government, probably have a hard time getting into a school, plus being allinated for the rest of a guy's life because he will have to be on the sex offender regristry. Not worth the trouble at all! I would just be her friend and NOT date her! Be careful my friend, not worth risking you entire future over a relationship that will probably not last anyways.
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Hey there, I would give her a call. No one is never too busy to call if they really cared IMO. Ask if she needs any help with anything, like helping her move, get ready for school, etc. Or even offer a break from all the craziness and take her for dinner. Good luck and take care.
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I don't know, I work with inmates and I have seen a lot of dudes in jail for statutory rape and they also had to go on the sex offender regristry and that sticks with you for the rest of your life. It also depends on her parents, I have interviewed inmates where the guy does something to the girl and they call the cops on him and gets thrown in jail. Depends on the law in your state, the ages vary but I am pretty sure 15 falls under a felony in most states. If I were you, I would date someone who is a least 17 of not 18. Good luck and take care.
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Hey there, Well, I can tell you I was 19 when I lost my virginity. Of course he was ready before me but he was very understanding and waited for me. I knew when I was ready, I can't explain why or how, but I was. We both wanted to and even though I was young, we were in love. It was a special night, very romantic and sweet. It did hurt a lot my first time but my guy was very gentle, sweet, and loving. I didn't regret it one bit. But I really encourage others to wait until they are ready. Sex in fact changes a relationship and puts it on a whole level, no matter how old you are. Sometimes younger people are not able to handle those changes because they weren't ready. Just be careful and be safe.
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Hey there, I know this can't be easy. But you guys are very young so it's hard to be bogged down in a serious relationship. She is "feeling her oats" right now is all. Some girls and guys too, have a hard time committing, no matter their age, for various reasons. This may be the case, you can certainly care about someone but just can't committ fully and completely. It doesn't make him or her a bad person, nor is it something you did either. You guys want different things right now. So, that saying, maybe you can go out and meet new people. I was discourage waiting for her to come around, chances are, she may not come back. She's not waiting around for you, so why should you. I would date others too. I know it stinks right now because you really care about her but don't waste time waiting for girls that are not sure what they want. Take care and best of luck to you.
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Hey there, 1-how long have you been with him/her? 3.5 years 2-how did you meet? through the Yahoo Personals. He saw my profile and IM'ed me and we chatted for 2 months, finally met in person, and the rest is history 3-are you happy with your relationship? Yes and no. Somethings are good, some things are not, we are working through a rough spot right now 4-how old were you when you to met? We were both 25.
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Hey there, I am so sorry this is happening to you. Let me just tell you, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!!! It's him and him being selfish. A friend of mine went trhough something very simlilar. One morning her boyfriend of like 2 years just busted out with "I don't love you anymore." Then he went off to work. She spent the whole day moving her stuff out. And she ended up moving in with her mom for awhile. It was hard for her because she honestly felt he was the "one" for her. However, he treated her like dirt 90% of the time. Now, she is married to a wonderful man, hoping to have a baby soon, and bought a beautiful home. She is doing great, it was very hard for her in the beginning but she got through it and so can you. Just surround yourself with very supportive people. I always believe things happen for a reason, if she stayed with that loser, she would have married a complete loser, would have been very miserable, and she would have never met her now husband. So, I am sure there is "plan" for you and there is a better man out there for you. Take care and wishing you the best.