Longshoter

If she's fine with it, don't let it bother you. If you start to show you're not confident about the height situation it will start to bother her, don't worry about it... Plus you're only 16, you will grow taller, when I was 18 I was only 5'11 and when I graduated HS I grew to 6'6. Drink allot of milk and smile.

You know it's funny you mention "invisible people" because she always mentions friends this, and friends that, but I never seen a sign of friends calling when I was with her all those weekends. Just another weird puzzle piece that doesn't fit into place. madtolove, sounds like were in the same boat, different women. I want to give her the gift, it's a personal gift that only SHE would enjoy, so I might as well try to send it, it won't bother me if she thinks that she has the power, because when that phone rings or when she needs me again, I won't be there. She always had the comfort of knowing I would always be there for her, and even though I was the problem in the relationship, I showed who I was in drastic situations, and she was the opposite, where is she when I need her? Playing games. I started working out too! madtolove, I sent you a PM.

I have done allot to get to where I am now, it took allot of courage to travel to her house and meet her face to face, I took the steps needed, I supported and dropped everything for her when she needed me. The feeling I have now is one of confusion, of doubt and I'm not sure I'm ready to take that step now, not sure if I have the energy to put into it this very second, I've really put a hole into my career because of this, I've lost clients and I'm back to where I started. I'm such in a field of not knowing what to do, just to give you an idea of how financally devastated I am, I can't even afford to mail the gift I got her for her birthday which is in 4 days.

Thanks for taking the time to post. I had the urge to argue with her, I'm beyond arguing with her, I could have easily picked up a fight, but that won't accomplish anything, it will make the both of us feel bad and that isn't what I want, all I want is to deal with everything in a mature manner, and it just seems she's really stuck on the past, which is truly too bad for the both of us. Everything has really made me realize that I don't need or want someone such as this in my life. I know I made some mistakes, I've resolved those issues. I'm with you madtolove about letting go, letting her play the games by herself.

I talked to her on the phone yesterday, I just feel she isn't ready to hear what I have to say, she came off as being spiteful and that just made me feel like backing off, so I told her I wasn't coming over and again she started to be spiteful. I understand that I hurt her, but the immature games are beyond me and I've decided not to pursure the relationship anymore; -- I got so much going on in other areas in my life that I should be focusing on myself and getting everything where I want them to be instead of childish games. She also made a comment about that she hasn't been leading me, which is far from the truth. So now I'm forcing myself to move on, not going to call her, not going to pick up the phone when she calls, I'm done. Anyone agree that I'm making the right decision here?[/b]

Well I called her today... she asked me why I took so long to call her back and I just said that I really need to talk with her and to find closure and she sounded really curious as to what it was, than said something about how if it was about us getting together that she she would save me the trip? My heart dropped, I just didn't get it, perhaps she found someone new? I go over her house to talk to her tomorrow, I'm going to say exactly what I need to say. I'm so disappointed right now. Could it be that the word closure had a negative affect? I mean to me closure is ending something, maybe she felt hurt by that? Maybe she recently found someone new? I just don't get it, this woman is driving me nuts, f**king nuts! Now to think what I'm going to say tomorrow, now I'm confused. I want to be honest, but NOW her comment makes me feel like if I make it sound like I want to get back together with her I'll make an a*s out of myself. Also, I'm not 100% sure about where the placement of this was, but I'm pretty confident it was after I said I need to talk to her and before "finding closure", she said that one friend from work was moving in with her boyfriend and another girl at work were going on vacation and she had nothing to do this weekend. Now this is just another thing that confused me, I just don't get her, I really don't. Why do I feel like giving up? I know I don't want to, but my mind is tired of playing games.

The relationship ended because of a connection from issues from a early relationship that I was cheated on. Something happened at about the 1 year mark that had my mind wanting to run as fast as it could in the oppisite direction but my heart wanted to be with her -- after a while my mind won out very slowly, she even accused me of cheating and having multi-personalities. I know she knows I would never cheat on her and I haven't (but let me tell you, I was so damn confused, I think I drove myself mad). So we both left confused, I didn't know about the past issue I had about trust because I honestly blocked it out, and I assure you she had no idea what was going on with me. Well I can say that lying to me can break down trust quickly, all the little lies become just as important as the big lies. I'm glad I don't have the need to lie to people, I even told my girlfriend that my ex-girlfriend came into town and she wanted to be with me again and I told her no -- if you have nothing to hide why lie? Sometimes I wonder maybe I'm too honest, but I enjoy being honest, I get the best sleep that way. BTW this place is awesome, it helped me when I was going through the 3 month NC phase, made me feel NOT ALONE..

Alright I'll do that and post back and see what happens, I'll keep you posted. Also, when you say closure, it sounds a bit negative. Do you mean closure as ending it and moving on together or closure as she heard what she needed and can go on her own path without me? Either way I can honestly say I'm hoping for the former, but if the latter comes it comes and what can you do but move forward. You still with that same guy or it didn't work out?

This story reminds me of an ex-gf who I dated who got on my case about porn, so I felt guilty and removed it from my computer. Months later I go over her house and was on her computer and notice a CD in her drive called "Dirty Stuff", well I laughed and started checking out her porn collection while she's on the bed and notices. We had our discussion. I wasn't mad, just couldn't believe it. Wildchild gives good advice.

Kellbell, what you say makes sense to me and even explains some more small things that have happened that make me wonder. So thank you for sharing your side, really helps. Mairi, I will visit her, shall I just show up unannounced? or contact her and just say that we need to talk in person?

I dated my ex-girlfriend for 3.5 years and we broke up because of my issues in a past relationship and something that happened that invoked me to try to let go which only made her feel used and unloved; but this is a novel if I get into the details. Anyhow, so after 3 months of NC I visited her. Let me summarize a few important subjects: - We started to give each other affection after the 2nd or 3rd visit, hugging, and holding hands, and she even laid on my lap while watching TV. - We went on a trip and later she offered go on another trip. - She had me sleep on the couch for the first 3 times I spent the night, but the last night she said I could sleep on her bed but "no funny stuff" and I caressed and rubbed her back, she even lifted her shirt and said "don't touch my boobs" and mumbled "only if you really want to", but I chose not to, just didn't feel right. - She would call me everyday from her break at work - She said I was one of the most important people in her life - Her father past away shortly after our first contact and I was there for her whenever she needed me - Since we made contact, we really haven't talked about "us" Well things were going great for about a month until she wouldn't return my calls for a week and the calls from work stopped, she said that she's been too busy (her father past away which didn't play a big role in her life), so at first I understood and gave her space to deal with all this. Another week goes by and she calls me and says she's still busy. When I heard this I just don't believe it anymore, I just didn't feel important anymore. Well, she called me on Monday and for the first time I told myself I wouldn't pick it up, she did leave a message, she even mentioned that she was hurt that I didn't pick up (of course she laughed it off like it was a joke). She called a second time on Friday and again left a message, I didn't pick up nor have I called her back since last week. What should I do? Should I call her back and be honest with her as to why I haven't called her back? Should I email her? I'm lost. What should my next step be?