SirSpicoli

Because many guys won't figure it out. There are guys who live their whole lives without pick-up skills and occasionally stumble accross sex. I'm sorry, but that's a painful, unfulfilling existence. If a guy is constantly on here seeking advice as to why he's always labeled "the friend" then he probably falls into that category. If a single guy gets laid maybe once every four months, he falls into that category. If a guy primarily uses the internet for dating, then he falls into this category. At one point in time, I fell into this category and it sucked horribly. By your early twenties, your perspective on the world (and women) has solidified. It is unlikely that most men will see the error in their ways through introspective thought alone. It helps immensely hear someone else's perspective. I agree. Reading isn't enough. One shouldn't blindly follow David D. They should try his method out and see if it works. If it works for them (and it probably will), then good. But they should at least try David D's method Nonetheless, guys should take pick-up advice from men who are good at picking women up. Don't take it from women. Take fashion advice advice from women and maybe relationship advice--never take pick-up advice. True, there aren't a set of mystical dating rules, but picking-up women is much more systematic than people realize--a very subtle art but nonetheless a systematic one. One woman isn't all that different from another. To many men, women seem contradictory: how can an intelligent bombshell fall for an poor, abusive loser and ignore a nice, rich and handsome man? Guys see it happen all the time and it baffles them. We use metaphors of cupid aiming his arrows blindly. Love isn't blind. The poor, ugly louse is doing things the nice, rich man isn't--mainly with attitude, body language, and conversational skills. The woman may marry the rich man for security but she will always be attracted to the bad boy (she can't help it). On a side note, I used cocky & funny today while I dealing with a traffic ticket. It worked again--another email. Another intelligent, attractive woman. (She was an 8, physically speaking). ---------------------- I still find this funny. Consider two pieces of dating advice. (1) Bring a girl flowers on the first date. (2) Walk up to a girl and say, "Hey baby, let's screw." Both are hyperbolic extremes of bad dating advice but they are fundamentally the same. (1) is incredibly demeaning to the guy. (2) is incredibly demeaning to the girl. Both statements should be viewed with an equal amount of contempt. But nice guys won't do this. The people who dole out advice like statement (2) are viewed rightfully as idiots. The people (typically women) who dole out advice like statment (1) should be ashamed of themselves and should be viewed as idiots. They rarely are though.

An example of a cocky & funny routine I ran tonight. I want to you understand I'm not rich or famous. I look like a normal dude. From a 1 to 10, I'm a 6.5. The only thing is that I make an effort to dress nice--appropriate but nice. I was in a bookstore and saw a woman who was 9, physically speaking. I picked up _Memoirs of a Geisha_ and proceed to chat her up: ME: Hey, do you read much? HER (Startled): Yeah, I read a bit. ME: Oh yeah, have you heard anything about this book? (I then showed her the book) HER: No, I haven't read it, but I've heard a lot about it. ME: Yeah, whenever I'm on a flight, someone ends up telling me how good it is. But I get the feeling it's kind of a chick thing. HER: Let me see the book. (She takes the book and reads the back of it) HER: Yeah, you should get it. It's written by a guy. ME: Oh yeah? HER: Yeah, I say that because I'm gender studies in college. ME (Jokingly): Then I think that makes your answer a little bit biased. She laughs. ME: I know how it is, you're trying to turn all guys into sensitive males who listen to Enya. She cracked up. I then asked her about major and school. Turns out we go to the same place. We talked for about five minutes more--mainly fluff talk. . . . ME: Hey, I need to get moving. Why don't we carry this conversation some other time. (I didn't let her respond) ME: You seem sophisticated and at the very least you're literate, so I'm guessing you have email address. HER (laughts): Yeah. ME: Okay, why don't you write it down for me. HER: Sure (She wrote it down on a piece of paper). ME: Good. Nice meeting you X. I'll talk to you later. And stay away from the tabloid section. HER (laughs): Nice meeting you Y. Bye. --------- That's cocky and funny. Remind me again why that's so horrible.

Sure. I have become successful with it. You're being dishonest by saying David D employs get-laid-quick formulas. Much of his advice for becoming more successful in dating revolves around bettering oneself: get some ambition in life, start working out, get a social life, get stylish clothes (like Banana Republic), and develop a sense of humor. If men did these things--and unfortunately, many of them don't--then their dating lives would be manifestly better of. But what David D is famous for is his "cocky & funny" method. If a guy can tailor this method to his own personality, then it will help him out immensely. If you use the cocky & funny routine, then you send the message to the girl that (1) you're funny; (2) you're confident enough to make light-hearted jokes about her instead of kissing her * * * and trying to buy her affection, and (3) you don't need her. For whatever reason, women fall for guys like this--and that will NEVER change. NEVER. Remember, either a woman will fall for you or she won't. You will never pursuade her to be attracted to you. As David D points out, "Attraction isn't a choice." Either she feels it or she doesn't. Of course, some guys on here will say "cocky & funny" guys are jerks. Wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing the three things above. Absolutely nothing. If you're looking for specific success stories, then I'll be glad to rattle them off. But consider this first. There is no shortage of dating advice out there. In particular, guys are bombarded all the time with bad advice--in movies, talk shows, and relationship books written by "empowered women and sensitive men." Yet, out of all this advice, David D gets singled out. Here's why: because his advice hits a nerve with women. Most women know that if a man successfully used David D's routine on them, they would probably end up sleeping with him. Moreover, they realize the choice to continue on in a relationship will be the man's choice. They find that unnerving, so they harp about it. If you want to do yourself a favor, visit this site: [link][/link] It won't be a magic pill, but it will give you a perspective on dating that you probably haven't heard and that women don't want you to hear. As I mentioned above, there is a reason for that. It's not about being a jerk; it's about being successful in dating.

^ You're right. Normally, it would not be that important to me. But when my friend discovers her mother will die in two months, my first impulse is to help her out. I figured introducing her to someone she has alot in common is one of the kinder gestures I can offer. That's why it meant a lot to me. Even then, if Venessa had given a reasonable and timely response, I wouldn't mind. I would be disappointed, but would ultimately understand. But she didn't. She waited to the last minute when she knew perfectly well I was trying to balance everyone's schedule. If I had not called her, I doubt she would have responded at all. That's rude. Moreover, she did this after I had explained the situation. That is extraordinarily rude, and I take that as a sign of contempt for both my friends and myself. Finally, when she did contact me, she acted as if she had done nothing wrong. Moreover, I take it by the fact she hasn't contacted me since that she still believes she did nothing wrong.

The situation is somewhat complicated… A while ago I was trying to get a group together for a social outing. One of my reasons for doing so was to introduce a female friend Venessa to another female friend Erin. I had told Vanessa that the two of them had a great deal in common and I thought they would hit it off. They're both young professionals in the same industry so I figured it would expand their networks, at the least. On Wednesday, I sent out emails to everyone to see what evening worked best. Vanessa did not respond. Nonetheless, everyone else agreed Sunday night worked the best. Then something came up: Erin's mother contracted a terminal illness. After I found out, I wanted to take Erin out to have a good time just to get her mind off things. So on Friday morning, I emailed Vanessa telling her it would mean "a great deal to me" if she could attend and meet Erin. I also explained the situation. Vanessa didn't respond to the email either. On Saturday afternoon, I called Vanessa and left a message to see whether she could come out Sunday night. Around 11PM Saturday night, I got an IM from Vanessa saying, "I can't make it tomorrow night. Hope you have fun!" There is more to the situation: Vanessa had mentioned her sister was coming in from out of town, but I'm not sure if that was on Sunday night. Nonetheless, I gave her plenty of opportunities to respond. Also, if her sister was going to be in town, I asked Vanessa if she could only make a brief appearance. That was over a month ago and I haven't spoken to Vanessa since. Normally, I would accept that I got blown off and ignore it. But I had told Vanessa that my friend's mother had a terminal illness and that it would mean "a great deal to me" if she could at least make a brief appearance to meet Erin. I believe that warranted more than a last-minute-two-line-IM Did Vanessa's actions warrant ending the friendship? If not, how can I approach her about it and explain to her how offended I was?

I know that seems like a weird question but I've always had trouble making guy friends. Being a guy myself, it should come naturally to me, but it doesn't. Oddly enough, I tend to be good with women (in fact, very good) and I can do well in just about any social situation, but I don't have any guy friends. By "friends", I mean someone who will call you up and ask you to do something, or if you contact them they don't blow you off. I realize that guys bond through activities—like sports, for example. I am athletic, but that doesn't do any good if I don't know anyone to be on a rec sports team with. The guys I know through school are all good guys and I get along well with them, but they never ask me to do anything. If I knew other people, I would gladly ask these guys to do things—like parties and such—but I don't. When there is an excuse to be around guys—like work or school—I tend to be fun to be around. But when there isn't an excuse to be around other guys, I tend to be alone—aside from the girl I happen to be dating at the time. I have no doubt that people genuinely like me; they just aren't my friends (I know that sounds weird). I am involved with lots of outside activities, but I just can't seem to cultivate friendships. I've always heard that politicians may be very good with large groups and chatting people up, but they otherwise have very few, if any, close personal friends. Honestly, I'm tired of being like this. Your advice, please.

Simple. Assuming you're not at a loud singles bar, then simply ask the girl a question. If that is too much, then simply make a comment then ask a question. Example: Guy: [jokingly] "Kind of warm outside today." Girl: "Yeah" Guy: "Yeah, this heat takes some getting used to. I'm from Maine originally. You from around here?" The conversation has officially started. It doesn't matter what you say, but how you say it. If you say it friendly enough, you could start talking about watching paint dry. Unless you're a CEO, a famous entertainer, or abnormally attractive, the girl is never going to become innately interested in you. Aside from the aforementioned individuals, only self-absorbed guys think this way. Not surprisingly, self-absorbed guys tend to bomb with women. For the most part, a girl will become interested in you based on how you make her feel about herself. Women, like most people, absolutely love to talk about themselves. So the task is simple: get them talking about themselves by asking questions. Listen for verbal cues as to what the girl really enjoys, and then get her to elaborate on that by asking follow-up questions. During a conversation, a woman may do 75% of the talking, but if she is talking about subjects she enjoys, then she will remember you as a "good conversationalist." When the woman is talking, look for things you have in common. Something as small as being from the same hometown can have build a surprising amount of rapport. If you don't share any of her interests, then say, "You know, I've always wanted to learn more about that." You don't have to share the same interests to go on a date. Once beyond the art of asking the right questions, the second thing to do is to figure out a way to be coy when talking about yourself. If you don't know what coy means, then you need to learn it now. It means "modest in a flirtatious way." It should be the overarching theme for how you talk to women. It is the single most effective way for normal guys to get abnormally attractive women. Suppose you a get a girl talking about her profession and she starts to boast a little. Then you should say something along the lines of know, you're really starting to give me an inferiority complex over here. Well, mere mortals like myself work in the [blank] industry." Practice those things and you will get better at them. If you practice them enough, you will be able to playfully, and tactfully flirt with just about any woman anywhere. Even if she says she has a boyfriend, then playfully say, "Hmmm, now why doesn't that surprise me?" You will strike out some, but you're still honing the skill of speaking with women--i.e, one half of the world's population. Another thing to consider is your wardrobe. If you look abnormally anti-social, then that can hurt your chances. A girl is more forgiving of a stale personality than a bad fashion sense.

I'm looking for a good date idea for tonight for a girl I've been seeing for a month or so. Initially, I had figured on taking a constellation book and looking at the stars. But it is supposed to be cloudy. Then I figured on a night swim, but it is supposed to be cool. We've had plenty of nice meals together, so looking for something slightly more original. You ideas? The only requirement is that it can't take up hours of my night.

The only thing more irritating than guys regurgitating dating advice from the Swingers screenplay is the feeling of being stuck in dating limbo. So I gave the flowers. I then called tonight, left a message, then she called me back. She said it was very nice of me to give the flowers. I was looking for "sweet", but got "nice." We talked for a while--like ten minutes. She said she had to go. She said she had gotten quite sick. She had felt under the weather last night, as evidenced by a bit of coughing. In that regard, I do believe her. There was no mention of another date thouugh. Anyway, I'm guessing it was a combination of her feeling ill and indifferent, but I my gut tells me she is luke warm on everything. I'll call again on Thursday. If nothing then, well then there is nothing. On a side note: I don't particularly regret it because I've given flowers after second and third dates and the results have been predictable: marathon sessions in bed. That is not to say I view flowers as Spanish fly or that I'm trying to be manipulative: I give them to the girls I think are special and as it so happens, they sometimes reciprocate. I gave flowers after the first date here because I thought the girl was…well, lovely..and figure she could be feeling under weather so it would brighten her day. But C'est La Vie

Your thoughts? I had a date last night with a girl, whom I've been friends with for a long time. The date went well, I think. Today, when I go for a coffee break, I think may get a few flowers (a handful of daisies) for the girl. I figured I would leave them at her house, which is near the coffee shop. Again, I've been friends with the girl and have been to her house before. I figured I would attach a small note: "While getting a cup of coffee at *******, I realized there was a floral shop right next door. It struck me as criminal not to get a few flowers for a girl so lovely. Hope you like them and looking forward to seeing you again.” Being somewhat busy, I figured I probably wouldn't get to speak to her for a few days, so I thought the flowers would help keep the interest alive. Plus, it would be a nice gesture. Is that too much?

A friend and I finally decided to go on a date. It started all right, but by the end of the night, it was going very well. Then it came down to saying goodbye. She lives with some guy friends, so I figured it would make her feel awkward with me walking her to the door. I figured she didn't want to have to worry about them gawking from inside. So I figured I would let things happen in the car, then walk her to the door. But nothing happened. She said bye and got out the car. Now I feel like a total putz for at least not not walking her to the door. What should I do? Play it off like nothing happened? Mention it in passing? Ladies, what would your reaction be?

I'm going out on a date with the girl from my past in a few days. But I'm curious as to what I should do until then. If I tell Amanda, I would feel as if I am saying to her, "Hey, I'm going to date this other girl and see if it works. But don't get upset because it may go badly. So there's still hope for you!" Plus, for the next several days, some of Amanda's girlfriends will be staying with her. So I will be pressed to get any time with her alone to talk to her. But she will still want to do things with me, albeit with her friends. So should I decline her offers to go out with them? Otherwise, I would feel like I'm leading her on. Should I remain somewhat aloof until I've been on the date and/or her friends have left?

I've been seeing this girl, Amanda, for about a month or so. We've been physical twice (third base, you could say). Amanda is a great girl (attractive, nice, and smart), but another girl from my past has come along and somewhat out of the blue. I think Amanda really likes me, and in a normal situation, I would fall all over myself to date a girl like her. But this isn't a normal sitution. How should I go about telling her this? At what point does a girl deserve a detailed explanation? Moreover, I'm better at writing this stuff than saying it. Would simply writing an email be a jerk thing to do?

I know it's long, but please help. I met this girl, Angela, two years ago. We fell for each other immediately. The problem was that I had a girlfriend at the time (it was my first serious girlfriend and had been together for three years). Angela and I decided that we shouldn't act on our feelings, but we did express them: she told me she had never fallen so much for a guy, and I said much the same. We remained reasonably close friends. Angela moved out of town, and I broke up with my girlfriend about a year later. A month or so after that, I asked Angela if I could go to her city and go on a date with her. She said she was casually dating someone and didn't like long distant relationships. I considered that rejection #1. A few months after that, Angela moved back to my hometown. I suggested we go out for drinks one evening. She agreed. Things went reasonably well. At the end of the evening, she said we should do it again, hugged me, and then she said, "Next time we should go to my place." So I took it that she was interested. Two days later I called her cell, and got no response. I called again the next day. Nothing. I eventually caught her on instant messenger. After about two minutes of chatting, she said she had to leave and signed off. I figured if she were interested, she would call me back. She never did. I took that as rejection #2. I figured there was no reason to pursue further. I didn't talk to her for about a month. I had told her I would give her some books, so I called up one day and asked if she still wanted them. She said yes, then invited me out to lunch. I figured it was a friendly gesture. Things went very well. A week or so later, I was looking for someone to have a quick lunch with and asked her to lunch. She asked for a rain check, then she suggested we go out to dinner. We did, and things went very well again—so well that I found myself thinking, "How could she not like me?" There was nothing overtly flirtatious. It just went really well. But I just don't know if she considered it a dinner between friends. So what should I do? I figure I only have a brief window in which she is single and I'm single. On the other hand, I figure a third rejection would kill the friendship. Is she interested?