xenakis

Hi my friend, I ended a relationship with a woman very similar to yours just a few months ago: Here are some traits: 1 - She was extremely nice and fun at first then suddenly did a 180. 2 - She would constantly change her mind. 3 - She kept comparing me to ex boyfriends and saying I didn't measure up. 4 - When I nonchalantly wanted to break up she freaked. 5 - She would never do anything for me. 6 - She always complained and found 'problems' with me which she described in painstaking detail. 7 - I finally broke it off. I tried to 'fix' things by using 'tips' from this forum and link removed. It probably prolonged things a bit, but basically it would never have worked. Girls like this want the power, the control. That is why my girl freaked when I wanted to break up. If you are tired... try this test for fun... I bet it will make your current 'pseudo-girlfriend' freak and want to hang out with you. 1 - Plan a outing with her. 2 - The morning of the outing call and say you have to cancel because you just met a girl and you have a day that night. 3 - Watch the girl freak! Not because she cares, but because she is losing control. If you want to turn her back on, you definitely need to stop acting like a doormat. Girls want a man.

Hi, I would say that is a bad sign... The best thing for you to do is treat is has a breakup and move on. If he really loves you he'll come around, but don't bet on it. The thing you don't want to do is become very clingy and try to get answers out of him. If someone starts becoming distant, it is usually time to run...

I was in a situation like yours for a long time. Until, I met a great girl and she completely made the first one vanish. One thing you should be very careful about is idolizing her. You are living an illusion now. You only see her good sides, and when she treats you bad you find excuses and say it isn't so. You need to see the whole picture. If you feel bad about having flings then don't, but do not close your heart to potentiel love interests. My bet is that when you snap out of it and become the man you once were, she we either come back or you will find someone else. Right now, she sees you as a crutch because that is was you painted yourself to be. Be the MAN, she wants.(anyhow, it is the only way to stop this vicious circle.) Act in a way that will completely surprise her... Stop calling or answering calls for awhile. You own that to yourself.

You want to test to see if she might be still into you and clear the air sort of speak. You want your heart to be 100% chance there is no hope so you can move on. I understand this. But, you don't need to spill your guts. Simply open the door a bit. Call her and just talk nicely and maybe invite her for coffee. Her response will tell you how it is. And, for god's sake... DO NOT talk about the relationship you two had. Just keep it casual.

You have to stop worrying that since you don't see her or talk to her you can't show her how good you can be. She knows you for 6 years and she knows you are willing to work it out. There are no magic words in one phone call that could change the overall picture she has of you. It doesn't work that way. By worrying about when to call her what to do, in essense you are only thinking about yourself and not the relationship. Why? Because, she already told you what she needs. Space and time. If you truly love her, then you shall give her this. Stop worrying about your feelings and think of hers. In an earlier post you were talking like 'I don't understand how she can feel this or that way?'... It doesn't matter because it's her not you. She is different and has her reasons. The key right now is to do as she asks... Do not call her. Let her come to you. That is the biggest sign of love you can give her. Good luck,

Hi, I had the same thing happen to me. My Ex said we should stay friends, so I called about 2 weeks after the break-up. she was really cold and said we were communicating too much. I hadn't called for 2 weeks and prior we talked everyday. She called me a week later all happy and nice. So, I tried calling again but she was upset once more. Everytime I tried making contact she was cold. so I stopped. I later learned that the first time I contacted after the 2 weeks she was seeing someone and when she contacted me they had just broke up. Now she is with someone new. Don't contact her in anyway and let time heal the wounds. Go from there afterwards, Good luck

Hi mudpie, I am a guy, so I never 'felt' the g-spot sensation, but I know where it is. It is inside the vagina about 1 inch on the front wall. It is actually a concentration of nerve endings. When the girl is aroused, it is a hard circular spot about the size of a quarter. If you are already aroused and you are stimulated there, you should become very wet. I heard some girls get scared the first time because it gives a peeing sensation. But that sensation leaves after a bit and you will not pee. That is all I know... Hope that helps, xenakis

The only thing you can do if she is confused is let her be. Leave... I would say run in this scenario, but if you really love her just disappear politely. No fights, no I want you back etc... Just let her be with who she wants. Give her space. If she is yours or ever was she will come back. But, it should be on your terms. You shouldn't tolerate cheating. You are still young. I am 100% convinced you can find a much much better girl if you just go out there. That is what you should really do. Good luck, xenakis

Hi Duff, I don't think you are imagining things. When a girl starts going cold it is quite evident. Maybe you are going to strong after her. She should be doing the chasing not you. I think you should stop calling and messenging her and wait for her to do it. And, start going out with other girls unless she comes around. Do not call and ask if there is something wrong. No need to and it will make you look weak. There is nothing you can do but 'write her off' and start seeing other people. If she is interested in seing you she will give you a sign. good luck, xenakis

Do NOT!!! I repeat do NOT!!! call her mother or father. Or her friends or common friends for that matter. This is between you and her. It will look so WIMPY if you go around. Save your dignity. If she wants to call she will. Always think before you act. Disapear for a week. That will be good. xenakis

So many factors you have to be the judge... I have an ex that I speak to on a daily basis. We are best-friends. Very very special, but we both know it is entirely platonic. It doesn't affect in anyway my new girlfriends. ciao

Thanks for the tips Patience. I completely agree with you. I was chasing her a bit on MSN and it did pay off in a way. The was a crack in the door before I chased and it did open-up a tad more. But, she is still very cold unless she contacts me. When I contact she is cold, when she contacts she is more open. So Unless I see real improvement I will let this go. thanks again, xenakis

I think you did the exact best thing to do. Never just jump back in. Getting to know the other person anew is good. You have to treat this as a new relationship.

Sorry to hear that. If she was cheating on you then don't be friends with her. She didn't respect you. Although, a lot of girls will do that. I don't know if they are scared to hurt us or what, but in my experience it seems girls will do anything to build a wall between you and her when they want to break-up. And, they start building it without telling you. Then ask to be friends??? I wish my ex's could have came clean with me and simply told me they didn't want to be in a relationship instead of dropping ever sublime hints that end up making you persue in hope and looking like a jerk in the process. My ex also said she wanted to be friends. Then I called her a few times, but she said we are communicating too much. After a few months of Non-communication, a few months during which I would always think of her, I call her again and she tells me it's "old hat". I have one ex who was honest with me. All the way through, we always talked about our feelings and were always very honest. Now, we are best of friends. I never lost trust in her because she always told me how she felt. The real things. All girls should be like this. Guys too...

Complicated, hey, these friendship / relationship dynamics. Just seems to me if I call it kind of gives her all the power. I don't want to be the only one working on the friendship. But, I have to leave my ego at the door that is for sure. But, do I want to be friends with someone who doesn't even read my messages? I think I will wait till next week. I might see her on MSN again. I won't text her first. If she texts me we will see. Unless she asks me for coffee, I don't think I will ask again. I realize I was clear and the fact is either she didn't respond to my question or didn't read it. Either way, that is not much effort on her part. I have friends who make more of an effort so no big deal. Thanks