Duff

My friends seem to be the laziest, most weary and unambitous set of people at the moment and it's really annoying me. I've been trying to organise a holiday abroad for the summer (august) since November last year but all my friends keep putting it off. Everytime I ask them about it all I get is..."I'll see how much money I've got" or "I'll have to see about that" or "oh I dont know about it yet". It's really irritating because why can't we just book something and at least have something to look forward to for the summer? All I get is excuse after excuse and at this rate none of us will be going anywhere come August time. Now I understand these things cost and I'll admit I earn relatively more than most of my friends but I'd still have to save up just like them because I know how expensive these things are. But I know how my friends work, they say they will see how much money they have in August and I just know they won't have saved up. The most sensible way to sort this out would be to visit a travel agents, book a holiday and pay installments every month. Simple surely? If truth be told, its not just about a holiday either. I sometimes try to organise weekends away, even if its just an hours drive away from our home town and camp somewhere (change of scenery thats all). I wouldn't even mind if we went to another club or to another town and have a 'different' night out. But no, they'd rather sit in our local pub and do the same thing week after week, the same faces, the same walls, the same routine. It's becoming increasingly boring! I am spontaneous, I wanna get out there and do things, see other places, see the world, meet people. I could do it alone but I don't want to, its just most people around me at the minute don't seem to want to achieve anything, have any goals set or at least just the urge to a small 'change' every now and again to make life more enjoyable. I have posted on here before but never about my friends, they have always been the ones who have understood me with previous situations but I'm just not happy doing the same thing ALL the time, and the holiday situation is the icing on the cake. Ok, so a holiday is a major commitment both financially and time wise but on a smaller scale, surely we could something different at weekends. They are good friends but I feel eventually I'm just going to end up leaving them behind. Am I selfish to feel this way? Any thoughts would be really helpful. Thanks.

i agree with poke, just let things be for now. You've shown him signs you like him and want to spend more time with him. You've asked on several occasions if he'd like to go out. When you see him next see if he mentions going to see a movie or suggests someting. I'd say if he doesnt even mention anything and just carries on as normal then its a safe bet he aint interested, just think of it as his loss.

mmmm interesting and probably where many people go wrong. What would happen if you tried to be more aggressive once she sees you as the 'nice friendly guy'? Once a girl percieves you as this does a guy still have a chance?

Some people have just got the gift of the gab. I've talked the knickers off some women!

If most girls like guys who are intelligent, sensitive, caring, romantic, loyal, trustworthy, honest, compassionate as i feel i am - how come in a previous post when i asked why a girl had turned me down because i was a 'too nice a guy' did all the girls respond in the post that they would most often choose the 'bastard' out of the 2 guys. This is in no way aimed any of the girls posting here because its actually quite interesting to read but I can't understand why some of you fell in love with guys with these qualities when all you see in my town is the girls going for the low lifes.

Just be there for her and be a good listener. Different people react differently to break-ups, how ever long they are together. As she was the one who broke the relationship she obviously didn't feel it was 'right' for her. I think you need to suss out how she feels about dating again, about meeting other guys again and then ask her out for a drink. Just be honest with her, I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Say something like "I know you have just come out of a relationship, I really like spending time with you and was wondering if you fancied going for a drink sometime". See her reaction and act on it. If she feels the time isnt right (which im sure she wont), accept it and let your relationship grow until she is. But I'm quite sure she will like that and accept your invitation. Just enjoy yourselves.

ive been in this situation for nearly 9 months now because my feelings for a girl has grown stronger and stronger. Last summer i told a girl i liked her, she responded with the same - "i dont want a relationship". Over these months, we've spent time together as friends but i have always hoped it would develop into something more because there have been times when we have kissed or cuddled (in a club & drunk). For every time I thought she liked me back, I was always held at arms length. Until i realised i was being played a fool. It sounds early days with you but please don't fall into this trap. If you like him TELL him NOW, if he tells you what he told your friend then accept it and move on, theres plenty more fish in the sea people tell me. I want someone who wants me as much as i want them and that should go for you too! Just ask him and stop wondering! Hope everything works out for you.

Just a quick message to the 15 year old. Your english vocabulary and structure is very advanced for someone your age, almost unbelievable.

Theres this girl I've fallen for, she means so much to me. In fact I've felt like this now for about 9 months. We are good friends and do spend quite a bit of time together, sometimes we even stay together at her or her sisters house but have never slept with each other. In summer last year I told her how I felt and asked if there was a chance of us getting together. She said at the time she did like me but was still a bit messed up over her ex boyfriend with whom she'd split from last January. So for the remainder of last year I accepted this and always stood by her feelings as a friend. We still spent time together with all our friends, went clubbing together and basically socialised as friends. There has always been the attraction there, sometimes we would end up kissing in a club whenever we went for a night out. New Year just gone, we end up kissing again and back to her sisters house AGAIN, still nothing happened as far as sex goes but we just seemed a lot closer & comfortable with each other, just holding her makes me crazy. We went to a party also on New Years day and me being me decides to drunkenly blurt all my stored feelings out to her. I just wish she'd see how much I want her, I miss her every minute im not with her. Then would you believe it she's gone cold on me AGAIN. I mean what does this girl want, its frustrating. I love everything about her but she just cant see that! Even her mum has encouraged her to 'get on with things' and be more positive towards guys (because of her previous break up). Although a few people have said to me 'give up' and move on, i dont want to do that. I know somewhere deep down she likes me, its just trying to convince her that i wont mess up given the chance and i would take care of her. The other side of the coin says how long am i prepared to wait? For every intimate moment we have shared, a cold period has followed and I dont want this year to be dominated by my never ending depression that we are not together. Its not desperation, its the fact that whenever we have shared a kiss & a cuddle shes maintaing my hope that one days she'll want to be with me. Please help!

there can be no harm in meeting this guy but be aware that you may want different things. if he has any expectations you need to make it clear from the start you don't want a relationship just yet because of your recent break up, trust me men can more often than not interpret your words/actions as a sign of interest when all youre doing is being friendly. just go out, have fun and im sure you will both get along well.

How can you tell if someone's interested after youve met online then in person? Im not a regular chat room person apart from normally speaking with my friends on MSN. Recently I met a girl on a public chatroom who lives nearby and as those of you who have experienced, you kinda get really involved when theres an instant attraction to their personality (or basically the words your reading). We talked for hours and hours within the first week or so and really learned more about each other. We seemed to like the same things etc etc. We always said from the start that, because we lived quite near, we would like to meet up pretty soon so at the weekend I went to the pub she worked at and I met her, she seemed really nice. She was actually working at the time so we didnt get much time to talk but she had already said it was ok for me to meet her that day. I guess because we liked what we knew about each other already, we were both quite impatient in wanting to see each other in person. We spoke on the phone for a few days after that, saying that we really wanted to meet up properly and go out for a drink etc and see how things go. The phone calls were always nice and I think it just made us feel a little more comfortable with the situation. Then suddenly, the last few days we have hardly spoke, shes not been online, phone calls have gone unanswered and my emails have had no reply. I've just spoke with her on MSN tonight and she seemed a lot more distant than she has been all this time, claiming she didnt hear her phone ring when I had called. Her conversation consisted of sharp one word answers and there was just something about her words that gives me the impression shes having second thoughts. Maybe its just me analyzing too deeply, but I feel our conversations and general interest in each other will be wasted should this just fade away. What should I do, ask her is there is anything wrong (she might just think Im moaning and forget the whole thing), should I be nice to her and think nothings wrong (after all the fact is we dont know each other THAT well) or should I just play her at her own game and respond in the way shes now interacting with me?

met a girl a few weeks ago at a party. her friend says she IS fond and likes me a lot. From what i know of her i like her a lot too and would really like to get to know her. We have exchanged a few txt messages but nothing in depth as yet. since meeting we've both been 'playing the game' - playing hard to get, not txting each other back immediately after one-another, not-giving too much away, not being available all the time, not giving away feelings etc etc....basically the flirting scenario as we know it. whats annoying though is its going on far too long. im not the world best flirter so why cant it be as simple as her liking me and me liking her and lets get on with it and get to know each other - before one of us just forgets the while thing. i understand nothings going to happen over night but this is stupid - if her mates are still saying she likes me then whats the problem? i know the world of flirting is always going to be a part of meeting and getting to know your desired one but surely it cant go on forever, im an open person who can express my feelings, why cant she. im getting impatient and tired of waiting.

ask her out for lunch or wherever IN PERSON - that way she has to give you an answer there and then whereas an email can be avoided. you do need to find out if shes available - dont fall into that trap and make yourself feel worse im presuming shes quite a bit older than you, i remember a certain young teacher at my school, she was beautiful and you could even have a laugh with her. however, as much as i dreamt of being with her, it was always going to stay a dream as we had 2 totally different lifestyles and the script just didnt fit. didnt see her after i left.

so now weve not txt messaged each other for a couple of days......do i get in contact first or what?

think you just need to be straight with her and tell her how you feel if she means that much to you - before someone else does